Tears Of The Neko - 18. Chapter 18

Damien came back in the room to hear the water running in the washroom. He stepped over to the open door and saw Kayden standing over the tub, watching the water swirling as it filled the tub. The boy stood in just his light sleeping pants; the bandages on his back were gone now.

He smiled at the boy's innocent curiosity of the movement of the water. He also liked to watch the toilet flush. It was the slight tilt of the boy's head, a small frown creasing his brow, that had Damien grinning at the pure wonder in the young neko's face. He wondered if he had ever been that innocent.

But then of course, Kayden wasn't innocent at all, he thought with sad frown. He'd been through more than anyone he'd ever known. Damien couldn't imagine losing his parents at such a young age as Kayden had, much less seeing them killed in front of him. Then to be held captive and tormented into silence and submission for years...

He sighed, causing Kayden to look up at him. The smile he was greeted with melted his heart.

"It helps if you get in the water," Damien chided, as he stalked closer to the boy, pressing his body up behind him gently so as not to hurt his healing welts.

Kayden's green eyes glanced up at him before turning back to the swirls of water.

"I am," Kayden said. "I just like watching it."

"I've noticed," Damien whispered, sweeping the boy's hair aside. Kayden instinctively tilted his head, exposing his neck, and Damien kissed long pale skin. The bruising from the collar had almost faded, and Damien swore Kayden would never wear a collar like that again.

His hands trailed down the thin arms. He could feel more muscle there now, not just the skeletal frame that the boy had been when he'd first seen him.

"Would you like some help?" Damien asked, his hands resting on the jutting hipbones.

For a moment, Damien thought he'd pushed too far when Kayden hesitated so long. He felt the boy tremble in his arms.

"Yes," came the breathy whisper. "P-please?"

And it was then that Damien realized that Kayden was having trouble saying yes, admitting out loud what he wanted. Kayden still rarely initiated anything other than laying his head on Damien's thigh, never assumed that it was okay to touch Damien back without some sort of reassurance.

"It's okay to ask for what you want, kitten," he said softly.

Kayden only nodded, unable to find his voice again.

Damien smiled and leaned over to turn off the water. Kayden looked surprised when Damien started to unbutton his shirt.

He noted that Kayden's gaze shifted from his chest as he unbuckled his pants, and he briefly wondered if Kayden was afraid of the belt. One of those first days, when Damien had undressed, Kayden had flinched violently when he'd whipped off his belt. But now Kayden only watched with interest. There was no fear in the deep green eyes this time. But before he pushed his pants down, Kayden looked away nervously.

"Do you still want me to help you wash?" he asked, not wanting to make Kayden anxious. Even though they had played together several times, the boy was still a little nervous around him when he was naked, so Damien had remained casual about it. He didn't hide, but he didn't flaunt it either. Damien had always been comfortable in his own skin, always slept naked until Kayden had started joining him in bed. He wanted Kayden to realize that it was okay to look, okay to touch, whenever he was ready.

Kayden nodded, however, even if he didn't meet Damien's eye. So he slipped into the water, grabbing the soap and wash cloth as he did.

"Well, hop on in," Damien said as casually as he could, even though he knew seeing Kayden undress would nearly cause him to come undone right there.

"I-Is there r-room?" Kayden glanced briefly towards his master, and Damien smirked as the boy's eyes lingered at the spot between where his knees jutted out of the water.

"Plenty, kitten," Damien laughed, as Kayden slowly pulled at the ties of his pants. Damien watched the silky material slide down the thin hips, taking in the sharp angles of his hipbones and the obvious interest the boy's groin displayed before Kayden nearly jumped in the water, his tail wrapped around his leg.

Damien pursed his lips to hold back a chuckle as Kayden scooted as far forward in the tub as he could. He could feel the boy's hips brushing against his thick legs. The neko's back was displayed to him, and Damien felt a pang of regret and anguish wash over him. The whip marks were healing well. They would probably blend into the older ones and be indistinguishable to almost anyone.

But not to him.

Damien would always know which scars he'd been responsible for, because he had let them take Kayden away that night. And he had let Brenner stop him from going to his boy right away.

Damien finally lifted the rag and wrung warm water over the thin back. Kayden tensed briefly but then his shoulders relaxed.

"Can you slide back a little, kitten?" Damien said. "So I can reach your back?"

Kayden responded by shifting closer. Damien could feel the soft fur of his tail tickling the side of his leg. He soaped up the rag and slowly began to rub Kayden's back, and he felt the boy's muscles release even more. He took his time, leisurely caressing the pale skin. He picked up the large cup that sat next to the bath for rinsing and scooped up water, pouring it down the scarred skin.

"Do you want me to do your hair?" he asked.

At first, he only received a slight nod, but then he heard the boy's voice. "Y-yes, sir."

He scooped up more water. "It's not 'sir', kitten. Only Damien. It's just us here."

But Kayden only nodded, and Damien sighed before pouring the water over the boy's head. Kayden suddenly shook his head, sending a spray of water all over him and the washroom floor.

Kayden cast a glare over his shoulder and he rubbed at his ear.

Damien started laughing. "Sorry," he said between chuckles. "Maybe you should take care of your hair."

Kayden's slow smile was enough to put both of them at ease. He handed Kayden the soap, watching as the boy's thin fingers created a lather in the black locks. Damien couldn't help but thread his fingers up the back of Kayden's head, massaging his scalp and loving the feel of the the boy's thick hair entwined in his fingers. Kayden's hands dropped and his head fell forward to his chest almost bonelessly.

Damien handed Kayden the cup to rinse with, not wanting to risk getting water in his ears again. After he had rinsed his hair, Damien noticed that Kayden had slipped a little farther back towards him, Damien's knees hugging the boy's hips.

Damien let his finger trail over the boy's back. He leaned forward, hands caressing the still bony shoulders, as he kissed the boy's shoulder blade.

He held out the hand with the soap in front of Kayden, offering it to him to finish washing. It was several seconds before he felt Kayden's hand on his. But instead of taking the soap, he felt Kayden press his hand to his chest.

Damien smiled against the warm skin under his lips. As his hand moved over the thin chest, Damien could feel Kayden's heart beating wildly. He slowly urged Kayden to lay back against his chest. For a second, Kayden froze, and Damien realized that the boy could feel Damien's hardness pressing against his lower back. Damien just held still, loosening his arm in case Kayden needed to escape. He waited for Kayden to decide what he felt.

Damien nearly lost it when Kayden's lean body relaxed into his chest. His kissed the top of the wet head resting on his shoulder, as he slowly lathered soap over the taut brown nipples and down the ridges of the boy's ribs.

He could sense the tenseness still in the boy's body, and Damien gently nudged Kayden's head to the side so he could reach the long tendons of the boy's neck. Kayden's head tilted, and as Damien licked his way down the boy's jaw to the collarbone, he could feel the boy's tension evaporate under his lips.

"I love you, kitten," he whispered, as his hand slipped lower.

Kayden mewled, his body arching into Damien's slick hand. Damien continued to suck at the boy's neck as his soapy hand slid further. When his fingers slid in the crease under the boy's tail, Damien sensed the tension he always felt whenever he had ventured that far, so he carefully slid his hand back, waiting for Kayden to melt back in his arms.

As he stroked, he watched the pleasure slide across the boy's features. Kayden's eyes were closed, his head thrown back into Damien's shoulder, and his beautiful lips parted slightly in orgasm.

As Kayden came, Damien caught his come with the rag, discreetly dropping it over the edge of the tub as the boy's body dropped heavily against his chest.

Damien resisted the urge to shift his own erection against the boy to get the friction he so desperately needed. Instead, he gently scooped the water with his hand over Kayden's heaving chest.

As Kayden's breathing slowed, Damien kissed the small nips he'd made on Kayden's shoulder.

"Better?" Damien whispered.

Kayden's head tilted back so he could look into his master's eyes, and he nodded shyly.

God, Damien thought, he could drown in those eyes.

He cleared his throat. "The water's getting a little cold. How about you hop out and get warmed up by the fire, and I'll get washed and rinsed off real quick?"

When Kayden's body slid against his groin, Damien bit back a groan. His head fell back against the edge of the tub as Kayden stepped out. He rolled his head enough to see the long sleek tail curled against the crease of the boy's round buttocks before a towel wrapped around the thin body and he disappeared out into the bedroom.

Damien barely touched himself before he felt his climax surge through him.

--Neko--

Kayden hovered by the door of the bath as he toweled dry. He blushed as he heard the grunt of his master, then he felt slightly ashamed at the fact that his master still gave him pleasure, but Kayden had yet to return the favor. He was still so afraid of making a mistake. What if he did it wrong? What if his master didn't like being touched the same? What if--?

He heard splashing and knew Damien was climbing out of the tub. He rushed to the dresser in his room where his new clothes were and pulled out another pair of silky pants. He loved the feel of these pants, and Damien seemed to like them on him.

After slipping the fabric over his hips and tying the string, he stepped back into the bedroom, swishing his tail to dry it. The bedroom he now shared with his master every night. He languidly stretched out across the carpet on the floor in front of the fire on his side, resting his head on his arm. He felt the heat of the fire warm his damp skin.

He heard his master's footsteps pad across the room to his armoire, and Kayden rolled to his belly to watch the way the muscles of the glistening body moved under the golden skin. As a pair of satin sleep pants slid over the muscular hips of his master, he sighed contentedly.

His master smiled at him when he turned to see Kayden staring, and of course Kayden felt the heat rushing to his face, but he hadn't been able to look away. Damien moved to sit on the couch, his long legs stretched out across it. He beckoned, and Kayden pushed fluidly to his feet as he crawled into his master's lap.

Kayden sighed deeply as he laid his head on his master's shoulder. He could hear the soft thud of the man's heart and feel his breath against his hair. Damien's fingers played lazily in his damp hair.

Between the crackling of the fire and the rhythmic beat of his master's heart, Kayden felt his body slipping toward sleep.

"Kitten," Damien's voice rumbled in his chest, "Are you happy here? With me?"

Kayden frowned, finding the question odd, but smiled up into the azure eyes. "Yes, sir."

"It's Damien. And really? You are?"

Kayden snuggled into his master's neck. "Yes," he finally whispered. "I-I've never been happier."

"You don't have to stay here, you know."

Kayden froze. Was his master looking to sell him, now that the month of the bet was at an end? It had been at least one moon cycle; he knew his master had to keep him for at least that long to win the bet he'd made with his brothers. But he'd started to think that maybe his master would want... His lip quivered nervously.

"I-I'll do whatever you want, s-sir."

Damien suddenly lifted his chin, appearing shocked by the tears glistening in the boy's eyes.

"Kayden, what--"

"I-I know a month has passed. You won your bet. I-I understand if you are looking to sell me, but--"

"Oh, fuck, kitten, no," Damien breathed rapidly. "I don't want you to go anywhere. I want you to stay."

Kayden frowned at him.

"But I want you to stay because you want to, not because you feel you have to. I know I screwed up. I didn't protect you from Roman, and I--"

"It wasn't your fault. You didn't know what would happen. Your guard was just protecting you--"

"Still, I--"

"I--I could probably have said something, instead looking like I was attacking you too," Kayden said with a little smirk.

They both smiled.

"Mistakes happen."

"Yeah, I suppose they do," Damien sighed. "I just want you to be happy and feel safe."

"I do," Kayden sighed. "With you."

Damien leaned down and gently kissed Kayden's lips. "I love you, Kayden. You make me happy like I've never been before."

Kayden sighed and snuggled in.

"When was the last time you were happy?"

"Now?" Kayden smiled shyly.

There was a soft chuckle. "No, I mean before this."

Kayden smirked. "The washroom."

They both laughed then. "I think you know what I mean," Damien said, sobering. "Before you came here, did you ever feel anything but..."

"Fear?" Kayden finished for him.

Damien sighed heavily, sadly. "Yeah."

Kayden let his fingers trail lazily in the soft, dark hairs on his master's chest. "I-I guess I felt happy when Master Ehern sold me to Master Farth," he said softly. "I wanted so badly to be away from the hunters."

He felt Damien huff. "But Master Farth didn't treat you much better."

Kayden shrugged. "He didn't shoot at me," he said, trying to lighten his master's mood.

Damien grunted, tugging Kayden closer. Kayden felt his master press a kiss to the top of his head. "That shouldn't be a criteria of happiness, not getting shot at."

"It's okay," Kayden mumbled, not sure what to say to make his master happy again. He didn't like it when his master got melancholy or upset.

"No, it's not okay," Damien grumbled. "Were you ever happy, kitten? I mean, truly happy? With your parents maybe? Before the hunters?"

Kayden shifted at the mention of his parents. He didn't remember much about them anymore. Over the last six years, he'd tried not to think too much about them since he couldn't do so without remembering their death.

"I-I suppose I was," he finally admitted.

"But you don't remember?"

Kayden turned his head up to Damien, tears glistening in his eyes. "It's hard to think about them. I keep seeing ... seeing them... get k-killed."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories. I know you have nightmares about that," he said softly, petting Kayden's head soothingly.

"I-I'm sorry, s-sir, if I wake--"

"Kitten, stop," Damien commanded. "That is not your fault. It only bothers me that you are still suffering because of them." He sighed. "I just wanted to know that... well, I hoped that... you haven't always been afraid..."

"I look like my dad," Kayden interrupted suddenly, barely a whisper.

Damien's breath hitched. "Really?"

Kayden's head nodded against his master's chest. "I-I remember he had black hair and green eyes like me. B-but he was bigger, more like you. H-he taught me to climb."

"I hear you're pretty good at that," Damien laughed.

Kayden's head ducked. "I didn't--"

"I think it would have been funny to see. Arnett has never been that frustrated. So where did you live? Most nekos live in the towns and cities now, did you?"

"No, we lived in the forest," Kayden answered. "My father didn't like the crowds of people. He would go to town to trade catches of rabbits and such for clothes, blankets, and stuff."

"So you were happy then? Living in the forest?"

Kayden shrugged. "I didn't think much about it then, but yes, compared to what happened... after..." He shifted against Damien, trying to stifle a yawn. "At the time, I wanted to live in town. It seemed like so much fun and easier than being cold half the time in the cave."

Damien smiled, "You don't like being cold."

Kayden shook his head.

"Do you miss the forest?"

Kayden was quiet for several minutes. "I don't miss the cold, or the fear of trying to survive, finding enough food. I-I miss running. And climbing."

Damien pressed another kiss to Kayden's forehead. "I wouldn't mind running with you sometime."

Kayden jerked in his arms, turning to look up at his master, eyes wide in surprise. "Really?"

"If it makes you happy, you should do it. Running, climbing, whatever you want."

Kayden stared up at the deep blue eyes for a long time, trying to determine if there was some hint of duplicity in his words. The man was willing to let him free to go where ever he wanted? Not that he had wanted, being so afraid to, but he had dreamed about it as he stared out the windows. Could he really go outside for a few minutes on his own, if he got up the nerve?

"I c-can... I can g-go outside? By myself?" Kayden asked incredulously. He hadn't really believed it when he'd said it before.

"Of course," Damien frowned down on him. "Kayden, you're not a prisoner here. This is your home. Although, right now, with the whole Roman thing, I'd feel better if someone were with you. To protect you."

Kayden nodded, digesting the fact that he was actually free to go where he wanted. His hand fluttered to his neck, where his collar should be.

Damien shifted his legs under him, breaking Kayden from his thoughts. "So your mom? What was she like?"

"She had long blonde hair and white ears. She used to sing a lot," he added, as his memories of a woman holding him when he was younger flooded over him. "Dad and I would listen to her sing at night. Dad loved her so much."

"I'm sure they both loved you too," Damien whispered.

Kayden sighed as a tear slipped down his cheek. "I miss them," he admitted softly.

"I know," Damien said, "I miss my parents too, well, my father at least."

Kayden shifted and looked up at his master, curious. "How did...?"

And Damien knew exactly what he meant. "Their ship ran into a bad storm," he explained. "It was five years ago, so I was already an adult. But I wasn't ready to really act like one."

Kayden drew circles with his finger on Damien's chest. "I'm sure they loved you too."

His master laughed softly. "At least my father did. My mother... well, she wasn't very ... motherly."

They were both silent for several minutes, and Damien thought that maybe Kayden had fallen asleep.

"I know my mother would have sung to you," Kayden said softly.

And Kayden felt his master's arms tighten around him. Kayden snuggled into his chest, breathing in the scent of the man whom he now considered home.