Arctic Roots - 18. Facing Your Fears

“You aren’t going back overland all the way to Coldfoot again, you’re sitting your bear asses in a plane and flying back,” Matthias yelled, “Only assholes who don’t care about the Arctic ecosystem go tearing it up with their big truck tires, off-roading wherever they fucking want like ignorant and entitled shitheads.”

“Well, I’m not going to let my new Mercedes 4 by fucking 4 sit out here on the tundra to rust, am I?” Axel yelled back, “Besides, the last time I put the Cub on a plane, he freaked the fuck out and nearly crashed a 737. If you want to have two hundred deaths on your conscience when a scared-out-of-his-fucking-mind Kodiak bear goes on a rampage at 30,000 feet, I’ll let you fly with him. Till then, shut your pie hole and let me handle my Cub my way!”

“Seems to me, you’re raising him to be a big fucking pussy, just like his Old Man!” Matthias yelled back. “Too scared to fly, my fuzzy left nut!”

Adam and Douglas watched the two bears arguing from a safe distance.

“Should we try to break it up?” Douglas asked Adam with a worried voice.

“No,” Adam said, “They’ve been doing this off and on for the last couple of days. The fight will probably reach a peak in the next few minutes and then they’ll fuck for the next hour, but if you have any children or easily offended females around, you might want to send them inside now.”

Douglas hurried off to shoo the onlookers inside their homes and when he returned, the pair had shifted into their bear forms and Axel was humping Matthias with an angry frenzy not usually seen in nature.

“Told you so,” Adam remarked to Douglas, “Fighting is like foreplay to Grand-Papa. It’s the glue that holds their relationship together.”

“The Bear did have a point, though,” Douglas remarked, not able to look away from the frenzied scene happening right in front of him, “Nobody with any sense drives a 4x4 that far off-road. Not only is it dangerous, but it’s also destructive and contributes to the permafrost collapse.”

“Well, I’m open to suggestions if it allows us to get our vehicle back to Canada and I don’t have to get on a plane.” Adam replied.

“We can definitely get your vehicle back to Canada,” Douglas said, still staring at the rutting bears with an expression of shock and awe, “But you and Axel would still have to fly.”

“Fucking perfect,” Adam said with a groan.

“What do you have against flying, anyway?” Douglas asked.

“I’ve only flown one time, and that was few weeks ago,” Adam replied. “I apparently had a panic attack on takeoff and started to shift into my Kodiak bear form. To keep me from going all berserker in the cabin and killing everyone, Papa had to punch me in the face and knock me out cold.”

“Now that you know what’s going to happen when the plane takes off, do you think you could control yourself if you tried it again?” Douglas asked, finally tearing his gaze away from the live bear-porn show happening on his lawn and looking at Adam in the eye. “There comes a time when one must face their fears for the good of the many.”

Adam sighed.

“If we fly, how do we get our truck home?”

“We can lead you off-road from here along a well-used trail to the coast at Wainwright,” Douglas said, “That town is just 60 miles from here, so it will only require two hours of off-road driving total instead of two days. From there, your truck can be loaded onto a shipping boat and transported to Anchorage. It will take about three days to ferry the truck and, in the meantime, we can have Fergie fly you and Axel to Anchorage in advance. Once the boat arrives and unloads your truck, you can take actual paved roads back across the border and to Calgary.”

“I guess if it was just me, Papa and Fergie in the plane, it wouldn’t kill that many people if I flipped my lid again,” Adam commented.

“Maybe I’ll have my wife prepare a small portion of roseroot that you can chew on if you start feeling nervous,” Douglas suggested.

“Fine,” Adam agreed, “Can you give Fergie a call and see if he’s available in the next couple of days? Once those two get this current fight out of their system we can give them the news.”

As if on cue, the two bears both let out bellowing roars as they climaxed together.

“Huh,” Adam said, “Guess that fight was a quickie.”

****

“Are you sure about this Cub?” Axel asked one more time as they prepared to go.

“Positive, Papa,” Adam replied. “We can’t keep driving off-road forever. Eventually, I’m going to have to get back on a plane again. Let me face my fear and just do it. It’s only a two-hour flight from Wainwright to Anchorage. I already paid for a spot on the cargo ship for the truck, and Fergie is going to be waiting for us in Wainwright when we get there. We have a room booked at the Hotel Captain Cook for three nights. We’ll have a mini-vacation, see the sights, and then when the truck arrives, we can drive back to Calgary.”

“Okay Cub, I’m just concerned that…”

“Oh, for the love of the gods!” Matthias shouted at Axel, smacking him on the back of the head. “Quit coddling the Cub or you’re going to turn him into the same weak little sissy that you were at his age!”

“Shit,” Adam grumbled to himself, “Not this again, or we’re going to have to wait an hour for those two to have another round of family-fuck-therapy.”

He leaned out the window, interrupting their latest debate.

“Bye Grand-Papa! We’ll talk soon! Punch it, Douglas!”

A small caravan of four ATVs led the way and the big black truck followed with Axel and Adam waving farewell to the Old Man from the windows.

It was a much shorter drive west to the coast than they expected, and the trail was more established than the route they had taken to get here. In less than two hours they had reached the shore, and the boat was moored where they expected it to be, ready to load up the truck for the trip to Anchorage. The bears grabbed their packs with a few changes of clothing and toiletries and jumped on the backs of the ATVs for the quick ride from the dock to the airstrip.

“Thanks for your hospitality, Douglas,” Axel said to the leader and his men as they prepared to depart. “No hard feelings for drugging us with the stew on the day we arrived. May your village be bountiful for many years to come.”

“Yes,” Adam said, “Thank you Douglas, and sorry about the… mess… that Papa and Grand-Papa made in your living room… and bedroom… and backyard… and picnic table…”

“All right, they get the picture!” Axel grumbled, “Say goodbye, Cub!”

“Goodbye Cub,” Adam repeated, and the villagers departed for home on their ATVs.

Fergie was waiting for them at the airstrip and stowed their packs in the plane.

“Wow, this is a… small plane,” Adam commented as they climbed aboard.

“It’s a six-seater,” Fergie boasted, “Pretty big for a bush plane, but yeah, I guess you could say it’s on the small side when you compare it to a commercial airliner.”

“Are smaller planes better?” Adam asked.

“For me they are, for sure,” Fergie replied. “Think of it this way, Cub, if a big commercial plane is the bus of the sky, a bush plane like this is the 4x4 Jeep of the sky. Smaller, lighter and more maneuverable.”

The bears got into their seats, and strapped themselves in.

“You ready, Cub?” Axel asked, “No freak-outs this time, right?”

“I will be in two minutes,” he replied. “Hang on.”

Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out a wax paper packet that had been prepared by Douglas’s wife. There were two white cubes resembling pieces of potato in the wax paper. Adam picked up one and popped it in his mouth, chewing it. A minute later, he had a goofy grin on his face.

“Now I’m ready,” Adam said. “Fergie, let’s fly!”

Fergie taxied out to the end of the runway and wasted no time accelerating for takeoff. As the wheels left the ground, Adam closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest of his seat.

“How’s it going, Cub?” Axel asked nervously.

Adam opened his eyes and looked over at Axel with a look of serenity on his face.

“I’m cool, Daddy-O,” he replied and laughed.

“Cub, what the fuck did you just eat before takeoff?”

“Mrs. Douglas gave me a couple pieces of orpin rose root for the road,” Adam replied, “Which is funny, because we’re not even on the road! The road is w-a-a-ay down there!”

“Well, if getting high on funky Arctic roots is all it takes to get your ass back in a plane, then I approve,” Axel said. “Enjoy the scenery while it lasts!”

Axel used his cub’s unusually chill mood to relax and reflect. He watched the terrain of Alaska flow by beneath the plane, and he thought about the hundreds of years he had spent in this land. It was not the land of his birth, and it was not his home by choice. It was a terrible accident that washed him upon these shores so long ago, but in the years that followed, he had adapted to life here.

He thought of the many men whom he had guided through this wilderness, hunting the furs and wild game that they thought would bring them fortune. He thought of the few and far-between times that he was able to spend a few months with a discreet lover in this wild land. Never for long. Never permanent. Simply a string of temporary experiences that satisfied a temporary need.

He turned from the Alaskan scenery and looked back over at his Cub, sleeping quietly in his seat. He thought of the all the years he lived in this land and ached for someone to share his bed who he could hold every night. Someone who could tolerate his abrasive personality and even love him for it. He wondered how he got so lucky to find the perfect Cub, and the perfect Mate.

The flight didn’t last long, and soon they were touching down at Merrill Field Airport in Anchorage. He roused the Cub.

“Wakey, wakey,” Axel said jostling him in his seat, “Has your buzz worn off yet?”

“Oh shit, Papa,” Adam said with a yawn, “Have we landed already?”

“Yep,” Axel replied, “I’d fly with Chill Cub anytime! Good job!”

They paid Fergie handsomely for the flight and caught a cab to the Hotel Captain Cook.

When the bears walked into the lobby, they were immediately spotted by the handsome front desk clerk. As they approached the counter, Axel caught the clerk’s scent. Wolf.

“Good afternoon sirs!” The wolf said with a toothy smile, greeting them and subtly scenting the air. “Pardon me, but you both look very familiar.”

“We’re representatives of a governmental body based in Calgary,” Axel replied carefully. “Perhaps you’re familiar with the NALC.”

“Omigod,” the wolf exclaimed with excitement, “Councilmember Axel and Beta Adam! I watched last month’s Spring council sessions online. My father is our pack’s Beta, and he was there in the Gallery that week, so I stay on top of politics in the hopes that I can fill his shoes one day. Are you here for the expedition to locate one of The Ancients?”

“We’re on our way home, now Pup,” Axel replied. “We found The Ancient, and we set him up with communication equipment so that the Council can speak with him whenever he is needed.”

“Oh, I’m so proud of you!” the wolf exclaimed, “My father wasn’t sure that adding bears to the Council was a good idea at first, but I knew that you would only bring about good things!”

He looked at his computer screen.

“Hmm, you booked a regular King-bed room,” he said, “That won’t do. That won’t do at all.”

He typed at his keyboard for a minute.

“Okay, I’ve upgraded you to a one-bedroom Executive suite. That will give you a little more room to spread out and relax.”

“Well, thank you, Pup,” Axel said, “We don’t need a whole lot of special treatment. We Bears are pretty humble, you know.”

The wolf just grinned and gave him a wink.

“Would you care to make a dinner reservation for tonight, sirs?” he asked. “We have ‘Crow’s Nest’ on the top floor, which is our four-diamond French and American fusion restaurant with sweeping views of the city and mountains, and we have ‘Fletcher’s’ here on the ground floor, which is an English-style pub serving a selection of Italian fare.”

“We just flew in on a bush plane from the Arctic Circle,” Axel said, “So we’re not ready for anything fancy yet tonight. We’ll go with Fletcher’s.”

“Very good, sir,” the wolf said. “I have a table for you at seven pm. Here are your room keys. You’re in Tower III on the tenth floor. My name is Logan, and I’ll be working each day of your stay with us. If you need anything… anything at all, give me a call.”

As they got on the elevator, Adam turned to his Papa.

“Is it just me, or were you picking up the scent of arousal from Logan?”

“Oh, definitely,” Axel replied. “After dinner we should ask that Pup if he’d care to join us in our suite this evening for some playtime.”

****

Adam woke at sunrise with a warm mouth wrapped around his cock. He looked down and saw Logan blowing him with a level of enthusiasm not generally found so early in the morning.

“Good morning, sir!” Logan whispered to him, “Thank you both for last night! My shift starts again in an hour, but I just wanted to give you pleasure one more time before I have to go.”

Adam elbowed Axel sleeping next to him.

“Hey Papa,” he said, as the wolf went down on him, “Logan has to be back to work in an hour, so this is last call for his ass.”

Axel grinned and stretched on his side of the bed, throwing off the sheet and exposing his thick morning erection.

“Oh, good,” he said, getting up and positioning himself at Logan’s tail-hole. “I thought I was going to have to take care of this morning wood by myself!”

Axel worked his thick length into Logan’s rear, still stretched and slick from the activities of the previous night. He pumped the wolf at a leisurely pace as Adam laid back with his eyes closed and enjoyed the wolf’s skilled tongue.

“Oh, shit!” Adam exclaimed suddenly, grabbing Logan’s head and pumping a load into his hungry mouth.

“Fuck yeah,” Axel replied, seeing his Cub feeding the wolf, and grunted, unloading into his ass.

As the bears collapsed back onto the bed, the wolf sprang up with a smile and a bounce in his step as he got dressed.

“This has been a wonderful experience sirs! I’m honored that you chose to have me spend the night with you! Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do to make your stay more enjoyable!”

“It was our pleasure, entirely, Logan,” Axel replied with a grin. “We’ll remember this fondly.”

“Don’t forget to have a good breakfast sirs!” Logan added before leaving, “The ‘Pantry’ restaurant is open until 10:30, and you’ll find the portions big enough for the hungriest bears! Have a good day!”

Axel turned to Adam after the energetic wolf had left their room.

“This mini-vacation is sure off to a good start,” he said. “What do you want to do today?”

“I was thinking, Papa,” Adam replied, “We’ve been together for weeks nonstop, and I’ve been wanting to do something special for you, but I want it to be a surprise. I’ll probably need all day to get it done. What do you say after breakfast, we split up, and meet up again for dinner at the fancy French restaurant on the top floor?”

“So, you don’t want to spend the day touring Anchorage with your ol’ Papa?” Axel asked, disappointed.

“We’ll still have all day tomorrow, Papa,” Adam replied, “But this may be my only chance to do this thing to surprise you. It’s not something I can do back home in Atikokan, okay?”

“Okay Cub,” Axel said. “I’ll make a reservation for eight pm at Crow’s Nest and let you have the day for your special surprise. For now, let’s go get breakfast.”

****

Adam’s cab pulled up in front of a nondescript building with a brown roof and a red and white sign that read “Rebirth Tattoo”. He walked in and stepped up to the counter. The artist on-duty set down his magazine, looked up at the seven-foot wall of badass muscle and picked up his phone, clearing his schedule for the rest of the day.

“I’m gonna assume that this isn’t your first tattoo,” the artist said.

“Actually, it is,” Adam replied, “And I’m kind of nervous about it. Is it going to hurt a lot?”

The artist blinked a few times, trying to figure out why those words were coming out of this gigantic man.

“Uh, yeah,” he replied, “It hurts like a bitch. Do you think you can… handle the pain?”

“I think so,” Adam said nervously. He scrolled through the pictures on his phone until he found the one he was looking for. “Here’s what I want. Really big, here on the right side of my chest and shoulder. I want it to look like it’s an oil painting portrait right on my skin.”

The artist looked at it and nodded.

“I can do that. It’ll take about eight hours.”

“Great,” Adam replied, taking off his shirt and popping his second orpin rose cube in his mouth for the pain, “Let’s get started.”

“Did you just take drugs?” the artist asked, “I don’t work on people who are on drugs.”

“It’s herbal. Roseroot.” Adam replied, “Trust me, if this is painful, it’s going to keep me from getting angry. You… wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

“Fair enough, Incredible Hulk,” the artist said. “Here we go.”

****

Axel wandered the streets of downtown Anchorage, bored.

Fuck, he thought to himself. Maybe the Old Man is right. I am a pussy. A half-day apart from my Cub, and I’m acting like a whiny little bitch. Where’s the independent tough-guy who dug gold from the ground with his bare hands? Who wrestled all challengers from one end of the country to the other and won every time? The mean fucker who used to kick ass, crack skulls, and boss around a bunch of werewolves when he ran a sex club?

The problem was that he was in love. He’d lived the independent tough-guy life already. Life with Adam was better. For the first time, he was really in love, and this road-trip had only reinforced that feeling for him.

If he had the balls, he’d ask Adam to marry him like Gunnar had done with Mike, but he shook his head. He couldn’t picture standing up in front of everyone they knew exchanging vows like a straight human couple. Fuck that.

At that moment, Axel walked in front of the display window of a high-end jewelry store, and something caught his eye.

Axel walked inside and a meek-looking thin man strode over immediately. The employee hoped that the giant tattooed man was there to shop and not rob the place.

“Can I help you sir?” The small, thin salesman asked.

“Yeah,” Axel said, “I was just looking in your window and saw those…” he pointed at the items that had caught his attention.

“Ah yes,” the salesman said. It made sense that he had come in for those. They were the most masculine items of men’s jewelry in the store.

“These are made by a local craftsman who lives out in the bush, working with silver that he mines himself on his secluded property. Before you ask, yes, the entire piece is made of silver, not steel or lesser metals. Even the working parts.

“Each piece is handmade and one-of-a-kind. They’re… quite expensive, sir.”

“Can you engrave the back?” Axel asked.

“Certainly, sir,” the salesman replied. “That will just take a few hours.”

“Perfect,” Axel said. “I’ll take them both. You start engraving, and I’ll be back this afternoon to pick them up.”

Axel left the store with a smile on his face and a new spring in his step. Tonight, he would man-up and show his Cub just how much he loved him.

****

Axel sat at the table by the window in the Crow’s Nest restaurant, waiting for his Cub to arrive. He had selected the nicest clothes he had packed for the trip, and he looked quite rugged and handsome. As he nervously waited, many eyes were on him, wondering what such a sexy and swarthy man was doing sitting all alone.

Adam arrived just a few minutes late, looking nervous as well and a little out of breath. He too had taken the time to change into his best clothing, and as he sat down next to his Papa, the other diners looked at the handsome couple with a combination of desire and envy.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Papa,” Adam said, a little out of breath. “It was only supposed to take eight hours to complete, but Max, my new friend, took ten because he wanted to make sure it was just right.”

“Well, Cub,” Are you going to show me whatever this surprise is?”

“Not yet,” Adam replied coyly. “Let’s eat first, and I’ll show you my surprise before dessert.”

When the server came, Axel ordered for both of them, getting two dozen raw oysters as starters, bone-in ribeyes for their entrees, and a two-pound platter of king crab legs on the side to share.

“You sure that will be enough to fill us up, Papa?” Adam asked with a grin.

“Probably not, but we can always hit up the International House of Hotdogs around the corner later if we’re still hungry.”

After their dinner plates were cleared away and they waited on the arrival of the Bananas Foster for dessert, Axel reminded his Cub of the promised surprise.

“Okay,” Adam said, “Is anybody looking?”

“I think the rest of the restaurant averted their eyes when we started breaking the crab legs apart and sucking out the meat,” Axel replied. “You’re in the clear. Did you get your cockhead pierced or something?”

“No, Papa, but close. Take a look.”

Adam unbuttoned his shirt and opened it up, exposing his chest and right shoulder. Tattooed there, in beautiful detail, looking every bit like an oil painting that could come to life at any moment was a portrait of two big male Kodiak bears, standing in the shallows of a peaceful mountain lake, nose-to-nose kissing each other in what seemed to be a post-coital bliss.

“That looks just like us, Cub!” Axel exclaimed, wiping a tear from his eye and touching the tattoo gently with his fingertips. The ink was barely dry, but the wound was already healed of course.

“It is us Papa!” Adam said. “When I was online the other day getting some work done for the Council, I got an email from Thomas’s cub Sam with the subject line, ‘Werebear Porn Stars’. It was a link to an article in Scientific American Magazine that declared it was proof that homosexuality existed in nature.

“Remember on the drive up when we stopped at that mountain lake for a quickie? Well, I guess there must have been some humans nearby… humans with cameras. Our whole sex-break was captured on film for the enjoyment of people everywhere and posted online under the pretense of ‘science’.

“Anyway, most of the pictures are pretty graphic and embarrassing but I thought this one at the end after we were done fucking was a really sweet picture of the two of us, and I wanted to wear it on my chest forever to remember that day and show how much I love you.”

“Who has seen this article and these pictures of us, Cub?” Axel asked.

“Well, Sam has seen it, and you know Sam,” Adam replied. “So, I imagine that every bear and wolf we know has seen it by now. If we can’t do anything about it, we might as well own it. We are a pretty hot bear couple, and it makes sense that the humans would get off watching us. Showing all our friends how much we’re in love can’t hurt.”

“Speaking of that,” Axel said, “I have a surprise of my own, Cub. I was walking around today, missing you, and I realized just how much I love you, but I’ve been too much of a pussy to face my fears and commit to it.”

“Papa, I understand,” Adam said. “You’ve told me all about your whole life now. I know how many times you’ve loved somebody only to have it end in disaster. I understand that you want to be careful that your heart isn’t broken again.”

“Well, that isn’t fair to you, Cub,” Axel replied. “I realized on this trip that you are my true Mate and I want that to be for as long as we live. I don’t want a big corny and sappy human wedding like Gunnar and Mike, but I did want to do something to show everyone our commitment for each other, so I bought us these…”

Axel reached under the table and pulled two blue leather jewelry boxes from a shopping bag. Inside each was a long and thick silver chain composed of many individual strands woven together into an intricate pattern. The ends of each chain met in the middle at a silver padlock. One side of each padlock displayed a detailed bear’s paw design hand-etched in painstaking scrollwork. On the other sides of the padlocks were their names, engraved into the silver.

Axel took the necklace engraved with his name and locked it around Adam’s neck. Adam wiped the tears from his eyes and picked up the necklace bearing his name and locked it around his Papa’s neck.

“Keep the key to the lock around my neck safe, Cub. They’re long enough to fit around our necks like a collar when we’re in our bear forms, so from this day onward, they never come off.”

“Mates for Life?” Adam asked, looking deeply into Axel’s eyes.

“Mates for Life,” Axel replied, looking back at Adam with adoration.

It was the happiest moment of his existence.