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    JamesSavik
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

the Barlow Boy - 1. the Barlow Boy

The Barlow Boy

Peter Keegan parked his Honda behind the Family Life Center on the sprawling grounds of the Calvary Baptist Church. He didn’t really have time for what he had to do but it went with the job. He reluctantly got out of his car and headed toward his office.

He had lucked out to get the job of Youth Minister for a large suburban church. He had prayed for it for months and gave all of the credit to God. It was just the right sort of stepping stone that a young Minister needs while working on his Masters degree in Pastoral Counseling. With any luck at all in a few years he would be selected to be a young dynamic Minister for a church like this one.

It was a beautiful Thursday afternoon in early May. The sun was shining and the immaculately landscaped church grounds were awash with the colors of Azalea and dogwood. As much as he would like to take the time to enjoy it, he couldn’t. He had a paper due and finals soon and every second of his time was accounted for.

As he went inside all the churches various after school programs were going on. Kids from elementary age up to high school smiled and waved at him as they played basketball and other games inside the safety of the Family Life Center. As he walked, he steeled himself for what he had to do, as distasteful as he found it to be.

In January he had been called in to counsel the Barlow family in a crisis. Their son, a popular sixteen year old named Chris, had told his parents that he was gay. Of course good Baptists like the Barlow’s demanded that their son be fixed immediately and the whole mess had landed in his lap.

He had counseled teens with all sorts of problems but this one was the most trying by far. Secular doctors and psychiatrists had given up trying to cure homosexuals. It was a task left to men of the cloth but it was also something that made Peter very uncomfortable.

The family took a punitive course of action, something that Peter had advised against. They had transferred Chris to an alternative school where he did his work in the morning and then his mother took him home. They had cut all of his social ties except at church which had isolated the boy.

Chris had suffered for it too. Peter had gotten to the point to where he dreaded seeing the boy for their weekly counseling sessions. He had changed from an outgoing and respectful boy to sullen, angry and sarcastic. Peter couldn’t blame him for that but Chris was no longer cooperating. He wasn’t talking and when he was talking, Peter didn’t believe him. Chris was making matters worse for himself. The Barlow family had decided to send Chris off for in-patient treatment as soon as school ended for the summer.

In the absence of any explanation for his harsh treatment, rumors swirled around Chris among the teens in the church. Some guessed that he was on drugs. Others thought that he had gotten a girl pregnant. A few even guessed at the truth but Peter had intervened and told them to leave it alone. He had taught a Sunday school lesson about the harm of gossip.

When Peter arrived in his office he found that Chris was already there. He was sitting in the chair that he usually sat in for their sessions waiting.

Something was different about Chris today. He had lost the slumped over posture of defeat and was sitting more erect. He held himself more like the old Chris with poise and confidence.

Peter said, "Hello Chris. You look upbeat. How are you doing today?"

Chris smiled and said, "Fine sir."

Peter asked, "Are you ready to answer the questions? Who molested you? Who are you having sex with?"

Chris said, "I’ve answered those questions until I’m blue in the face. No one."

Peter sat back in his chair and looked at the boy and said, "Chris from what we know about homosexuality that’s hard for us to believe. If you would just answer the questions we could move on and I could help you."

Chris said, "You want me to lie?"

Peter sighed. "When we have a clean cut All-American kid that we’ve known all their life tell us that they think that they are a homosexual, they have usually been molested or are having sex with someone. If you would just answer the questions we could help you and whoever the other party is."

Chris laughed bitterly. "Help them? You mean fuck up their life don’t you?"

"There no need for such language Chris."

Chris angrily responded, "I can’t think of a more appropriate use for such language. This whole damn thing has been a witch hunt from the start. I told the truth about how I feel and you’ve been assuming that I’ve been lying ever since."

Peter decided to change directions. He had Chris talking and he was angry. In his experience most teenagers would slip up under those conditions. "Assuming what you say is true. How do you know that you are a homosexual? Sex defines homosexuality. Teenagers have all sorts of sexual feelings."

Chris said, "I’ve known ever since I was little. I just never said or did anything about it. It’s not about sex it’s about who I am attracted too."

Peter said, "Why did you choose this for yourself? You had to know that it would put you at odds with your family and permanently damage your witness for Jesus Christ."

Chris sat back in his chair and said, "First off I didn’t choose it. It is just how I feel. I wanted to be honest with my family. I know kids from school that had come out and their families accepted them. I just didn’t appreciate how brainwashed my family was."

Peter said, "Your family is acting in accordance with sound biblical teachings."

Chris interrupted angrily, "…and making my life a living hell. Don’t they know by the way that they are treating me that they are going to lose me?"

Peter said, "They are trying to save your soul."

Chris said, "By making me lie about who I am?"

Peter said, "What you say that you are is abominable in God’s eyes. It’s shameful to your self and too your family. In this day and age the world wants us to accept the unacceptable but we are God’s people. We have to be in the world but must not be of the world."

Chris said, "I think that I may have heard that a few times…"

Peter said, "I don’t think you fully comprehend the seriousness of this. In the bible it says that God turns his eyes away from you and doesn’t hear your prayers."

Chris said, "One of the things that my parents have done is make me read the bible over and over again. I’ve seen five, maybe six verses that may possibly apply to homosexuality and thousands of verses that apply to other sins. Why is mine so bad?"

Chris had scored. Peter was speechless.

He continued, "The bible speaks harshly about divorce and half the congregation is divorced. The bible speaks harshly about abusing alcohol and half the youth group drinks occasionally. The bible talks harshly about gambling and half the congregation eats lunch at a casino after church on Sundays."

Peter said, "Chris, have you been on the Internet?"

Chris snorted and said, "My parents won’t let me anywhere near a computer. The reason I feel better about myself now is that I understand now."

Peter said, "What is it that you understand?"

Chris said, "That you, the congregation needs a scapegoat. That’s why you’ve been dumping on me, calling me a liar and making me feel like shit. You’ve been quoting scripture to me, how about this one: Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments"

Peter started to say something but Chris beat him to the punch.

"All I did was acknowledge who and what I am and you’ve been trying to make me hate myself ever since. Shame on me? No. Shame on you."

Peter recovered enough to say, "You can rationalize things all you want. It’s in the bible. Your eternal soul is in the balance."

Chris said, "Do you know everything about souls?"

Peter said, "No. No one does."

Chris said, "No one does. Is every soul alike?"

That stumped Peter. In all of his years of theological study that was a question that had simply never come up. He said, after some deliberation, "I honestly don’t know."

Chris said, "They are not. In every generation a few souls are born different and they have a purpose. Their purpose is to challenge you. Challenge your compassion, challenge you to think for yourself and challenge you to question dogma and to act with your heart. How would you react to a person who is doomed to hell according to your most holy book? Would you call that child an abomination? Would you gleefully sentence them to eternal damnation or would you treat them with kindness and dignity? That is the answer to the riddle if you are just enlightened enough to see it."

Peter said, "This goes against everything that I’ve been taught. I don’t understand."

Chris stood. From his shoulders spread an enormous set of white wings and a bright blue-white aura of blinding light surrounded him. He said, "You will."

With a flourish of his wings Chris was gone.

Peter sat at his desk blinking in disbelief. He stood and looked around the room. He rubbed his eyes and noticed a long white feather lying on edge of his desk. He looked all around his office and could find no trace of Chris.

He left his office and walked to the church office where he saw the church receptionist dutifully manning the phones.

Peter asked, "Have you seen Chris Barlow?"

The receptionist looked up at him sadly and said, "Oh. I’m sorry Minister Keegan. You haven’t heard. Chris Barlow hanged himself last night."

Copyright © 2011 jamessavik; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

James,

 

Clearly this is a topic you have given some thought to. it was both sad yet hopeful. Through Chris' death Peter might grow into more than just someone to spout back chapter and verse by rote.

 

You pick out one of the most difficult passage for those who 'speak for God' to reconcile. If you do these two things, the kingdom of God will be yours, yet men say it is not so.

 

I hope, this story wasn't based on someone you knew. Sadly it is all to common. Maybe your story will help someone who is struggling find a measure of peace that does lead them to Chris' fate.

 

Andy

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I really started to wonder how Chris had turned around so quickly--how he seemed so confident and had so much knowledge at his disposal, the way we wish all youth did. I shoulda realized there was a reason it felt a little unrealistic-- the twist was sad, but "made" the story. I agree w/ Andy's comment-- there is the hope that Matt's death will cause Peter to reevaluate his assumptions.

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Thanks for this. Your rightly point out the problem with quoting 6 verses out of context to condemn one "sin" and avoiding the hundreds of verses which condemn others. Hopefully, Peter will question himself and his iron bound beliefs.

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I don't know which is the greater irony: that which was in the story, or that at the end of the story, "Google ads" offered a course leading to a Divinity Degree. In any case, an excellent story.

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On 03/07/2011 07:52 AM, AndyM said:
I don't know which is the greater irony: that which was in the story, or that at the end of the story, "Google ads" offered a course leading to a Divinity Degree. In any case, an excellent story.
I was sort of surprised that no one caught the symbolism in the names Peter and Chris.
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Whoa. Funny thing is, I remember reading this story some time ago but didn't know you wrote it. This is a poignant piece that really cuts to the point, and the twist was excellent. Honestly don't know why this chapter is rated so low though...

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Thank you for writing this, James. It isn't every story that grips me hard enough that I have to walk off the effects of it after finishing. Well done!

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Ahh, such unbelievable sadness. And yet so believable a conclusion to the story. We all know who will go to Hell. And both his parents and Peter deserves it. But hopefully Peter will spend the rest of his life atoning for his sin and helping other young people in the same situation.

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Some time back, I saw an alternate translation for most of the Old Testament version of the word translated "abomination."  One Biblical scholar suggested that in most cases, in stead of "abomination," most of the Leviticus verses should have been translated as "It is not our custom" instead of "It is an abomination."   That would greatly change the meaning of the Leviticus translations.

Also, in the New Testament, there was a Roman custom, though not common, of plying younger (usually teen) boys with presents in return for sexual favors.  The words used by the Apostle Paul and by the Roman Centurion who implored Jesus to heal his servant often were used for those type of relationships, rather than consenting adult same-sex relationships.  However, the translators of the King James Version of the Bible were probably, in most cases, unaware of these translation possibilities, and, for sure, against using them.

There is much more I could say about Biblical translations and their shortcomings, but this is not the place for it.  Thanks for writing this story, @JamesSavik.

Edited by ReaderPaul
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Yes, those strange teenage suicides with no "rational" explanation, and the complete silence that follows.  And then in later years, one thinks about it again - and knows.

Absolutely perfect.

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