Jacob's Advocate - 6. Chapter 6 - That Dark Good Night

The next day, I didn’t see much of Jacob except for second period, due to going to practice with Matt and Travis, but we had an exam so we didn’t get to talk. The way he looked at me though when we shared glances made me melt, honestly I was happy just to be in the same room as him. Jacob did however give me a heads up at the end of class he had news to share at lunch. The next couple of periods just screamed on in agony because he wasn’t there, and I was eager to hear this news.

“You won’t believe what happened.” Travis said in awe, at lunch as we finally managed to get together.

My face lit up as Jacob appeared and he gave me a long shy look as he caught my expression and sat down next to me.

“What happened?” Amanda asked for me as she glanced at us with a smirk before turning her attention to Travis.

“Jacob went with us to practice, and literally laid everything out in the open to everyone there. I guess the coach heard part of what was going on because he showed up and listened as well. Anyway when he finishes everyone is just looking at him like they don’t know what to make any of it and just as about he’s making moves to leave, Preston fucking Foster comes up and just hugs the crap out of him.” Travis relayed with excitement.

“Riley then gets up and does the same,” added Matt.

“Are you serious?” I asked sharing the awe Travis expressed.

Jacob gave me a nod, slightly embarrassed at Trav’s retelling.

“But that’s not all,” Travis continued, “Jacob tell ‘em the rest.”

“I uh, got pulled into Coach Steven’s office to talk for a few about what I had told everyone, then he calls Preston into the office and explains my original football suspension was extended instead of me being kicked off and technically I was still on the team.” Jacob explained taking a pause.

“Which means what?!” I jumped in my seat begging for someone to continue.

“He can play in the last game!” Matt almost yelled.

“Oh! Dude! That’s great Jake!” I exclaimed my words running out of my mouth quickly as I wrapped an arm around me and pulled him close.

Jacob melted against me immediately. I couldn’t have been more happy for Jacob, than I was right now. This is what I had been working so hard for, my end goal, him being accepted back into his old life. I took in the heavenly scent of his hair as I kept him close, and didn’t care who noticed. My lips pecked the top of his head as I started to release him.

“So I guess this means he’s in morning and evening practices till then?” I asked.

“Yeah, I was hoping you’d be alright with that.” Jacob said looking at me with those recharged green orbs.

“Jake, it’s more than okay, plus it’s only for a week. But I did have something to ask you.” I asked now slightly shy myself.

“What?” He asked looking at me with an arched eyebrow.

“Well I was wondering if you wanted to go on an actual date, just the two of us.” I said looking at him hopefully.

“Are you serious? Of course I would!” Jacob immediately locked lips with me in a quick kiss that left me spell bound.

“You guys I swear,” Matt started as he shook his head.

Amanda popped him in the back of the head, then kissed his cheek causing him to blush.

“I think it’s cute.” Travis said, as his eyes beamed at the both of us. I swear leave it to Travis to leave me without words sometimes.

“We need to find Travis somebody.” Amanda announced.

“Hi Travis,” a voice said causing all of us to turn.

“Hey Riley.” Travis replied as Riley walked by.

“I think he already has.” Jacob commented absently as we all stared.

That made Travis blush to no end as he looked back at us after watching Riley walk away.

“See something you like?” Amanda ribbed with a knowing glint in her eyes.

“You guys I swear.” Travis said blushing again, “it’s nothing right now, but maybe who knows.”

“Mmhmm” We all said with a laugh.

We ended up spending a few more moments picking on poor Travis, as we continued lunch. Me and Jacob really just listened to the conversation as we held hands under the table. The moments we shared always seem to end just a little too soon for my liking and I got the feeling Jacob felt the same way as he squeezed my hand before letting it go as the lunch period ended.

It was that thought that had brought me to the bleachers after school that day. I sat on the cold metal bundled up with my hands in my pockets on one of the rare afternoons the sun made an appearance to take the ever present chill out of the air.

My eyes caught Jacob going through drills and I smiled, his time away hadn’t effected his ability in the slightest. Part of me wished so much to be out there working with him, we worked well together when we did. The sound of foot steps clanging against the thin metal I was perched on interrupted my thoughts as a warm body plopped down beside me.

“Come to watch your boy?” Amanda asked sliding her arm into mine as she put her hands in per pockets as well.

“You know it.” I said with a warm smile.

“We never got the chance to talk about this much.” She said absently, as her eyes no doubt searched out for Matt.

“What do you mean?” I asked turning my attention to her.

“You know, you and Jacob. We just haven’t had a chance to talk like we used to, you know?” She said pausing her search to glance at me.

“You’re right. Things the last month have just been so far from normal.” I commented.

“So give me the details.”

“Which?”

“Well when did you start liking Jacob?” She asked.

“Last year. I guess it kinda started during football. I just didn’t know how to handle it back then.”

“I know.” She said as she thought about it for a minute. “I thought about saying something then, but, well you know we didn’t know you were…”

“Gay.” I finished for her. “In a way I didn’t know either Amanda. I can still appreciate girls, but Jacob is different. Hell so is Travis for that matter. I think I’m attracted to more than just physical bodies, you know? If either one of them had been female I probably still would have tried if that makes any sense.”

“I get it. You’ve always been a sensitive kind of person Ty, despite the fact you can knock someone down flat on the field.” Amanda commented with a chuckle.

“But Jacob is something else entirely.” I said as my eyes found his form again. “I look into his eyes and see his soul, and it makes me weak on the inside. He still isn’t his old self yet, but I see the promise inside him every time I look and it just makes me try harder to restore what he lost. Yet at the same time he’s growing into a different being too. I just want him to be happy.”

“You make him happy Tyler. Trust me nothing makes him light up like you do when you walk into view. You’re like the thing he most desires sometimes. Have you guys uh, done anything yet?”

I blushed at Amanda’s question, “actually no, I kind of made him shoot in his boxers when he was asleep but other than that we haven’t gone further than kissing really.”

She blushed and nodded, “me and Matty haven’t either. He says he wants it to be special and I agree.”

“I kinda want the same thing, but at the time time I’m afraid because I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Ty, trust me everyone says that you aren’t the only one.” Amanda said trying to assure me, “just take it as slow as you two want and let it go naturally.”

I nodded and quickly clapped as I saw Jacob make one of his leap-in-the-air catches, “way to go Jake!” I yelled.

He gave me a thumbs up, as he passed the ball back to Matt and set himself up for another drill.

I sighed with contentment and flexed my arm against Amanda’s who still had hers intertwined with mine.

“I love him Amanda, I really do. So much it hurts sometimes.”

“I know, Ty. I know.”

We watched the rest of practice in comfortable silence, both of us cheering on our respective boys and of course Travis who was skilled in his own right. Darkness came quickly as the sun hung low in the sky, barely visible above the horizon, and we met up with the guys as they came out of the athletics building. It was a tight squeeze taking all five of us once in my car but I got every home of course saving Jacob for last.

“Did you have fun at practice?” I asked as we pulled into his driveway.

“More fun than I thought I would except…” He said turning away from me trailing off.

“Except what?” I asked prompting him to continue.

“You weren’t there.” He replied and I frowned, “I mean you were there, but you weren’t in practice.” He said with clarification.

“I like it when we do things together Ty. And when we don’t I feel a little lost inside.” Jacob said quietly.

My heart melted at his words, my whole being melted at his words. He truly did want to be with me as much I wanted to be with him.

“Jake…”

“I know it’s stupid.” He said with a sigh, “I just can’t explain it though. It feels like I need you like I need air sometimes, and I feel like I’d feel this way even if you hadn’t done everything you have for me.”

“Jake…” I tried again.

“Yes?” He said looking up at me unsure of himself.

“Shut up and kiss me.” I replied with a smile.

When his lips touched mine, it was electric. The warmth of his face, the smell of his skin, the feel of his touch, hell even the texture of his clothes, it was all too to process. He looked at me longingly as our lips separated.

“I wish you could stay.” He said dejectedly.

“I will, over the weekend and after our date.” I replied honestly. He gripped my hand and kissed it before exiting the car.

“I love you Jake,” I said rolling down my window.

“I love you too Ty.” Jacob replied with a longing look.

I watched him as he headed to the front door, giving me one last look with a smile on his face before he stepped through it.

We progressed through that week until game day. The last game of the season. Our school hadn’t done well enough to make any kind of play offs, but we’d done well enough for the season to be considered a successful one, that is if we could win one more game. Of course I had been told we probably would have made play offs had both Jacob and myself been available to play all season but nobody was lamenting that comment negatively.

I could tell the nerves of the three in our group were ragged at lunch that day. Even Riley had joined us and I couldn’t help notice the closeness that was starting to be noticeable between him and Travis. I offered Travis a knowing smile when we locked eyes once and he just shook his head as his cheeks blushed a little.

I expected Jacob to be the most nervous of them all but he really surprised me that day, yes you could tell he was a little turned up, but he was positive we would end the season in victory.

“I wish the rest of the team felt the way you do Jacob.” Travis commented with Riley nodding in agreement.

“Why?” He asked simply.

“Because, it is our biggest rivals, and this will be talked about for the rest of the year.” Riley said running a hand through his short hair, “I swear if we lose to those morons we’ll never hear it down.”

“The only way those guys are going to win, is if they’ve get Tyler on their team. The rest of them are just lug-heads.” Jacob said laughing a little.

“Which I don’t plan on doing.” I commented as I gave Jacob a light tap on the shoulder.

“Well those lug-heads are going to state if they beat us.” Matt said shifting in his seat.

“Then we simply don’t let them win. We got this guys.” Jacob said with finality.

I for one believed him.

After school, there was no practice due to it being game day, so me and Jacob spent it together. We could have done home work but we didn’t, instead we just spent the time cuddled on the couch in his living room watching, but not watching a movie we both enjoyed that was currently streaming.

“I never thought I could enjoy just doing nothing.” Jacob said softly as his body stretched, his head burrowing into the cleft of my shoulder.

“I wouldn’t call it nothing, the Coach did want everyone to relax before tonight’s game didn’t he?” I asked nudging the top of his head with my chin.

“I know, just the last week we’ve both been so busy, I’m glad I got a chance to play, but I’m also glad practices are over. I missed you.” He lamented with a small frustrated sigh.

I squeezed the arm that was currently wrapped around Jacob’s upper body, “That was kind of my fault. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t smothering you and stuff with practice and all. You know I wanted to make sure you slept.”

His head shifted as he looked up at me, “Ty my time is yours to take. I focus better when you’re around, even if we’re just sitting doing homework and stuff. There isn’t anywhere I’d rather be then were I’m at right now.”

“You really know how to make a guy feel wanted." I said as crimson started spreading up my cheeks.

“You have no idea how bad want you.” He said, his voice lower and a little husky.

“Think you can wait till the weekend?” I asked coyly.

“You tell me,” he grabbed my hand and pushed it down at his crotch, and I could feel the heat and his hardness immediately. I yelped in surprise as his hand reached for mine which had been semi hard this whole time. It didn’t take long for me to become the hardest I’ve ever been in my life, but Jacob didn’t push further. Instead we just remained that way feeling each other for the rest of the afternoon.

Me and Jacob went to the stadium together that night, and I walked him into the locker room and was met with whistles and cat calls from the rest of the guys on the team, most of which were half dressed. Travis of course ended up being the worst offender which made both me and Jacob blush.

I hung around talking with a couple of the guys who were curious, I didn’t sense any malice from any of them as we had basically been playing together since middle school. I answered what I could, and told them to ask Jacob about the rest. I was here mainly in full support of Jacob, as well as the rest of the team. A few were still sad I didn’t play this season but I assured them I would be next year and that we’d all go out with a bang.

There was one person in particular I really wanted to talk to though and I caught his eyes glancing in my direction occasionally as he finished dressing for the game. Finally though with a quick breath for courage, I took the bull by the horns and approached him myself.

“Preston,” I started as I sat next to him. “I just wanted to say thank you.”

His eyes shifted around and he fidgeted, he was uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to say anything Tyler.” He said trying to give me a quick smile.

“I do though. I know some of this has to be of your doing, and I really appreciate you and the guys giving Jacob a chance.” I replied.

“Did you mean what you said in the science annex, that you know, you’d do the same for any of us?” He asked looking at me with uncertain eyes.

“Every word of it man. You know I couldn’t play this year unless my knee was totally healed, but you guys are still my team. You always will be my team. Our victories and our losses man, I wouldn’t trade the memories or any of you for anything.” I said wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

“I guess that’s what did it for me. I won’t say I wasn’t a little miffed you didn’t play this year Ty, but that didn’t stop you from coming to every game, well except a couple.” Preston replied looking away.

I knew which games he meant, there was one when I was in the hospital, and the other when I was still recovering.

“I know, and I know you guys cared about what happened to me, I know that’s why you were angry with Jacob. We’re both getting professional help, and we’re still friends.” I said gently.

“Uh looks like more than friends, honestly.”

I made a face and blushed looking away.

“It’s cool Ty,” he said slapping me on the back. “Jacob did good in practice this week, and I think he’ll do well tonight. Do me a favor though will you?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t bang up that knee anymore, if you don’t play next year I’m gonna be pissed.” He said laughing.

“You got it Pres,” I said getting up.

Jacob gave me a look as I walked back up to him, he was dressed in all his athletic glory, ready to fight one more time. I gave him a hug which caused even more cat calls before I turned and yelled, “come on guys get pumped, let’s get ready to play some football!”

The response they yelled in reply that night, would stay with me for the rest of my life.

The anticipation of that night was thick, as cars filled the parking lot and the slow trickle of the crowd increased in size as they reached the stadium gates. The school had gone all out on this one, as the smell of hot dogs and pop corn permeated through the air from the concession stands as enticed fans formed lines for the hot food and drink that was available.

As the crowd began to grow in size, new sounds emerged as the marching band, took to the field and started tuning instruments for the nights performance during half time. When the time grew near, the rumble of foot steps on the bleachers became apparent as people jostled for what in their minds were the best seats.

A large clack was heard in the background as the stadium lights flickered to life while the last vestiges of sunlight disappeared below the horizon. Soon the announcer boomed over the loud speaker, as the band started to play as tonight’s teams were introduced and took to the field.

The bright lights gleamed off their helmets and my eyes searched for only one player and my excitement erupted from my throat as number 17 appeared with Edwards written over it came into view. I could see Jacob scanning the crowd and he pointed and gave me a fist pump when we made contact.

The crowd absolutely roared as we won the coin toss, and the players took their positions. For a fleeting moment, it appeared nothing else mattered except the pure thrill of the game that was about to take place, and my beloved Jacob who would no doubt help shape the game to victory.

                        ~

It was the last play, and really the last chance on that chilly November evening. We had done well during the first half of the game, but the other team caught up and managed take the lead by one point. The air was thick with tension as the opposing side lined up for battle under the harsh, bright glare of the stadium lights.

The coaches barked out orders over the noise on the sidelines, their voices barely audible over the ruckus from the crowd that lined both sides of the stadium. I could see the mixture of nerves and adrenaline on the faces of my team mates and my heart fell with regret over not being able to be out there sharing in this moment, especially Jacob who looked more wired and than the other players as he received his instruction.

He had played well tonight, far better than my best expectation and I knew this play, the final play would be one for the books.

Our team lined up, after the play was called, hopeful that the luck of home team advantage was still on their side. Matt and Jacob had lined themselves up at either end of the formation as guardians of the outside lines while Travis was kept close in the center.

In the stands fans clung to each other in hopeful anticipation. Amanda gripped my hand and I squeezed it as we said a silent prayer to our fellows. At the same time, others nervously gripped their seats while the cheerleader’s chants echoed through out the stadium, as they bounced up and down in carefully choreographed movements.

A sudden burst of motion erupted on the field, as helmets clashed the ball was in play. Preston dropped back from the line as the other side rushed our defensive line in an attempt to sack him. His head snapped back and forth with a forward look, Travis was clear and heading up the center, Matt and Jacob were clear for the moment with the other sides defense in chase.

His mind made up, Preston threw up and to the right, The crowd erupted as the ball sailed through the air, heading for it’s target with the precision and stability of a guided missile. Matt and Travis changed directions immediately cutting themselves lose of the grips of those chasing who couldn’t change course in time.

We rose to our feet as time seemed to stand still as the ball hung in the air slowly headed for it’s point of impact, with the hopes and dreams of our school, our community hanging on that final moment. My eyes stayed locked onto Jacob, he was the target the ball was sailing towards. A moment of worry flashed across my mind as the defense that had been trailing Matt and Travis were now thundering towards that one sole target at full speed.

Then it happened, at just the right moment Jacob turned and without hesitation he leaped off the ground and spun in the air catching the ball in his grip just as opposing helmets crashed into his chest. Jacob threw the ball away on impact and Travis recovered with Matt at his heels as they went for the touch down.

The stadium erupted in cheers as the scoreboard lit up, giving us the points we needed. A group of players rushed Travis and Matt and hugged each other, helmets came off, our side elated at the win. My heart pounded in my chest, I wasn’t cheering, neither was Amanda. I couldn’t tear my eyes from the spot where Jacob fell because he was still down.

And he wasn’t moving.

The spot was collecting a small crowd, our coaches frantically shouting orders and medics trying to pull off Jacob’s gear. Amanda tried to stop me but I was on my feet, quickly heading for the entrance to the field proper on our sidelines. I pushed passed the people working security knocking one to the ground as the fire and need overrode any rational thought. I was on the scene faster than I could have imagined. Jacob’s helmet had been pulled off, as his Jersey and shoulder pads.

Voices soon echoed my worst fears.

“No pulse!” A medic yelled.

“He’s not breathing either.” Coach Stevens reported, “beginning CPR. I need that damned AED NOW!” He said as he started doing chest compressions.

“Jacob!” I screamed as I fell to the ground at his feet.

“Jesus someone get him out of here!” Stevens yelled, as he finished the first round of compressions as the medic squeezed air into Jacob’s lungs from the resuscitation bag that had been fitted over Jacob’s mouth. I felt arms pulling be back and I fought them as tears clouded my vision. Two sets of hands grabbed me from behind and dragged me away as I kicked and screamed against them. I was pulled to my feet and wrapped in an embrace that shielded my view from Jacob and insistently walked me back away from the scene.

“Tyler I got you, it’s me! It’s me.” Travis yelled above my screams.

“Please…” I wailed against his chest, “let… Me… GO!” my hands hitting his pads as hard as I could.

“We shouldn’t be here Tyler.” He insisted.

“LET ME GO!” I repeated.

“Tyler no!” Travis said as he shifted re-acquiring his grip as I broke free.

“Hang on to him!” Riley said as dumped his helmet and joined the fight in progress, grabbing me by the waist and holding me still.

“I can’t leave, please don’t make me go!” I yelled back quickly, my voice hoarse and rough.

Another blur of motion from my peripheral vision, a staff member running towards Jacob with a small red bag that held the hope to restart his heart. I clawed at Travis and used all my strength to get out of his grip so I could see, he grabbed me from behind and made sure I stayed put.

I watched as the device was unzipped and hooked up, and the jolt from Jacob’s body as it was activated. Coach Steven’s resumed CPR as the device charged again. I jolted myself along with Jacob as the second charge hit him. CPR ceased but I couldn’t hear what was being said. Jacob still lay motionless the resuscitation bag still being used to push air into his lungs. Time froze again for me in that moment as the thud of my own heart drowned out the noise from the field. I didn’t notice staff clearing the field as the paramedics showed up. I vaguely remember a flare being set on the field as a helicopter landed at the opposite end. All I remember was the rawness of my eyes from the tears that were now stinging my eyes painfully, as I saw Jacob being loaded onto the back board and rushed to the helicopter.

There was a pause as the rotors started to slowly rotate up to speed, I watched until it lifted up into the air, and until it disappeared.

“Ty.”

It disappeared and I couldn’t look away from where it was.

“Tyler.”

It disappeared with my hopes, my dreams, and the boy I loved.

“Tyler!”

I was quickly filling up with a sense of loss, a gut wrenching empty feeling, like the connection that was developing with Jacob had suddenly snapped away.

“TYLER!”

I shook was violently shook out of my mind physically as a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders.

Matt looked at me fiercely, he was dressed in his street clothes, and Travis and Riley had disappeared but Amanda was there, I’ll never forget the look of worry on her face, the same face of worry she wore for me I was told later, when she rounded that brick corner and found my battered body behind the dumpsters.

I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t think.

“We have to go!” Matt yelled shaking me again out of my silent stupor, I just stared at him. He looked to Amanda, “Jesus Christ, he can’t drive.”

He was right I couldn’t do anything, except cry, and maybe die with Jacob.

I was led from the field, without saying a word. When we got to the parking lot hands searched my pockets until they found my keys and my phone. I heard the familiar sound of the doors of my car being remotely unlocked and I was pushed down into the passenger seat. I could hear the trunk being opened and movement from behind as Travis appeared with the gear from the locker room, and I heard the trunk close as Amanda and Travis got in the back with Matt in the driver seat.

“Tyler.” Travis said as he shook my shoulder.

I didn’t respond, I couldn’t respond I didn’t know how to talk anymore. My body felt numb and I couldn’t feel anything except the pain boiling inside.

“Matt what’s wrong with him?” Travis asked his voice breaking with concern.

“I don’t know, I think he’s in shock, he hasn’t said anything at all.” Matt replied. I saw his fingers appear in front of my eyes and he snapped them a few times but I just stared ahead, dead to the world.

My phone was brought to my face as it was woken up and the enabled face id unlocked it allowing Matt into the contacts.

“Diane, there’s been an accident. Jacob took a hit and went down. I don’t have the details he was flown by helicopter to the University Hospital.” Matt explained after the call connected.

A tear fell down my cheek as he relayed the situation, then the call ended and he made another.

“Joanne it’s Matt.” He said in a shaking voice, Diane’s reaction from the last call, clearly affecting him, “Jacob took a hit on the field and he went down. He was air lifted to University Hospital. We’ve got Tyler but there’s something wrong with him. He’s awake but it’s like he’s not in there anymore. I was going to take him to the ER but I’m scared and I don’t know what to do.” Matt admitted.

He looked at me as a tear finally fell down his cheek.

“Okay I’ll meet you there.” He said finally and ended the call, placing my phone on the dock on the dash.

“Matty?” Amanda asked.

“We’re going to the ER, Joanne will meet us there.” Matt replied.

And with that I heard the engine start and we pulled away into that dark good night, as my heart silently wept as it called out to Jacob.