Force of Nature - 11. Chapter 11

I waited impatiently sitting out on the front porch as the people hired to take care of the house came by to pack up the extra food and do some cleaning. I would have helped to speed things along, but every time I made a move to help the woman would grab whatever I held. I finally resigned myself to not helping and stepped outside on the front porch to try and calm my nerves. We were only sticking around because it was too early to leave although I knew I would feel better if we were already on the road.

 

Lexi got Sadie out of the way by walking her up and down the beach randomly playing fetch as she looked for seashells that washed up. Every so often I would see her bend over and pick one up and put it into a small bag. Sadie would bounce over and drop the ball and she would throw it, never in the ocean so Sadie would be dry for the trip. No one wanted to smell wet dog the entire way to Landry Park. I couldn’t help thinking that I would be closer to the park if I was at home and not at the beach now. I’ve been there to play frisbee golf and go bike riding a couple of times growing up, maybe she had too. The thought sent my heart racing and I looked across the tiny table to see Adam watching me.

 

“Ready to go?” Adam asked startling me. I had been watching the cleaners putting away the last of their supplies, cursing under my breath and thinking that it had to be time to leave by now while fighting off the anxiety of knowing I was about to meet family. A sister, a twin, that I hadn’t even known about. “How are you feeling?”

 

“I’ll probably wet my pants,” I answered as Lexi jogged up to stand beside Adam. “If that’s all I do, I’ll survive.”

 

“We’ll find you a bathroom first,” Adam said as he started the truck and backed out of the driveway.

 

I felt better now that we were on the road. There wasn’t a lot of traffic since it was pretty early. The summer traveling really won’t be picking up for another couple of months, aside from the Spring Break week away from colleges. The beach was a less desirable spot compared to Florida or Cancun, Mexico though. We still got our fair share of tourists and I’m glad I didn’t venture this far south very often.

 

Adam reached over and held my hand. I looked out the rearview window when he first touched me. Lexi smiled and pulled her sunglasses over her eyes. It was easy to be around them. I didn’t see myself holding Adam’s hand in front of my parents, even though they knew. They would see it as an act of defiance and not something people who are dating or very close to that, would do to show affection or comfort, not with another guy anyway..

 

At the beach house I wanted to hurry, now that I knew we were close to the park I felt myself grow tense. The sign that welcomed us to the town that held the park made my stomach drop. Adam rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand, but didn’t say anything. When I glanced over at him, I saw that he was tense too. A possibly unwilling witness to this messy life. I couldn’t imagine what he was thinking, going to meet your friend’s long lost sister he didn’t know about. The fact that he did it, without a second thought should have comforted me. Should have told me what kind of person he is. Maybe I was starting to feel it and my heart was starting to catch up to the rest of me that seemed so willing. I couldn’t picture anyone else making this trip with me, apart from Tania. I would like to think my Grandma would have, but since she hadn’t told me I didn’t know if that was true anymore. I was more than willing to be confused about her involvement and place all the blame on Mom and Dad though.

 

“Well we’re here,” Adam said slowing to pull into the entrance of the park. It was a small winding paved road to the parking area. I looked around trying to find them at a distance, but there was no way to know who they were. I just had pictures of my sister as a child and I never saw my aunt.

 

After he parked I slid out and we all ignored the sign that said that dogs had to be leashed. I didn’t bring Sadies leash and she hated it anyway, it made her too easy to get hold of when Mom wanted to scold her. There were already some people out walking their dogs. I glanced down to see Sadie watching them with her tail wagging and her tennis ball still in her mouth. Lexi stayed close by her as we stepped onto the sidewalk and dodged a few bike riders as we made our way around to the benches near the tiny pond where people fed ducks.

 

“How will I know them?” I asked my eyes darting around to look at the people that were sitting still. Looking for two women, but I wouldn’t know if they brought someone with them. Someone for some support, they were meeting a complete stranger too.

 

“We’ll find them,” Adam answered walking close enough to brush his hand across mine every so often as we walked. To keep Sadie entertained Lexi tossed the ball, always a short distance from us. I expected to be told to leave any moment, people were starting to watch her. Some of the dog walkers frowned and changed directions as we approached, not trusting a dog not on a leash.

 

“Maybe we should have left her in the truck,” I said when she returned with the ball in her mouth.

 

“It’s already like eighty degrees,” Lexi said shaking her head. “She’s a sweetheart.”

 

“She hasn’t been around other dogs,” I countered, but gave up as we approached the pond. There was only two people not walking their dogs, riding bicycles, or playing frisbee golf. One woman looked older than the other. She was sitting down reading, but every so often she would look up from her book and look around as if expecting company. She hadn’t looked this way yet, but we were still in a pretty shaded area where a lot of people walked by. The other woman had her back to us, leaning against the railing that kept people away from the pond and dogs away from the ducks.

 

“That has to be them,” Lexi said and I nodded after I noticed which direction she was looking.

 

The breeze picked up and when a strand blew across the older woman’s face she reached up and brushed it back, looking around. This time she looked at us approaching. She studied the others, but then looked squarely at me. I saw the book fall from her lap as she stood. She quickly turned to say something to the younger woman. I couldn’t help thinking that her hair color was just like mine. Dark brown, nearly black, that would redden slightly if we got a lot of sun. It was blowing in the breeze, swirling around her face and rippling down her back. She turned to scan the park and I sucked in a breath. She looked like a younger, taller version of Mom and I knew it was her.

 

She held back and Aunt Francine approached us. Stopping a few feet away and waited for us to close the distance. I wanted to bypass her completely, but we were only meeting here on her terms and I could already see the protectiveness in her stance.

 

“Hello Jason,” she greeted when we were close enough. She held out her hand and I took it. She held my gaze until she glanced at Lexi and Adam standing on either side of me.

 

“These are my friends Lexi and Adam,” I said and she let my hand go to shake their hands.

 

“You look just like my brother,” she said not smiling. “You have a little of your mother in you too though.”

 

“Her eyes,” I said thinking that what she said about me wasn’t really a compliment. She looked older than Dad, significantly shorter, and her hair was graying a lot more than his. Her eyes were cutting and seemed to measure me with every look.

 

“I honestly never thought you would find out,” she said glancing over her shoulder. “I can’t help but wonder how.”

 

“Mom told me,” I said and her eyebrow cocked. The look reminded me so much of Dad that I frowned.

 

“She made me a promise so long ago that she wouldn’t,” she whispered. “If I did this dreadful thing they wanted.”

 

“To take my sister?” I asked and I watched as Francine's lips tightened and turned white.

 

“Of course,” she answered her voice full of venom. I almost took a step back, but I glanced over her shoulder to see Amelia watching. I wanted her to seem just as eager to meet me as I was to meet her, but I only saw worry, almost as if she dreaded meeting me.

 

“How could they do this?” I asked shaking my head turning back to Francine.

 

“Amelia wasn’t what they wanted,” she answered not caring that I winced. “She would never have fit into their perfect picture, not after they were on the rise.”

 

“I don’t understand,” I said wanting to stifle the fire building inside my chest. I wanted to stay calm, but all I could think about was hating my parents for this. It was so easy to realize that Francine was telling the truth, that it very well could be what Mom and Dad wanted. I had seen it myself when I told them that I was gay. That I suddenly broke the perfect picture into a thousand pieces.

 

“They had one perfect child,” she said pointing at me. “A son from a long line of daughters, finally a reasonable person to take over the company after my brother. They didn’t need her, they didn’t want your sister after they realized she was deaf. The hassle would have been too much for them, she would have held them back somehow.”

 

“But being deaf is nothing,” I said my face flushed. I couldn’t help thinking that she was linking me in with my parents. That I was getting all of her anger, because she couldn’t help seeing they had made me to be just like them.

 

“Ma’am,” Adam said and she shot him a glare that would have silenced me. “Jason isn’t like them, he’s got a better heart.”

 

“How do I know that?” She asked shaking her head. “I’ve been protecting Amelia from them for so long. Answered all her questions as best as I could. I couldn’t have children, so my brother thought I would be the perfect fit for her. Another family cast off.”

 

“Why did they push you away?” I asked and her eyes narrowed.

 

“Because I didn’t want to keep his secrets,” she said, “his crooked business he created and that you now work for.”

 

“It is a family business,” I said shrugging. “I’ve not been working there long, but…”

 

“Look,” she said, “I agreed to meet you and Amelia wants to meet you, but I don’t want anything to do with you.”

 

“Look lady,” Adam hissed taking a step forward.

 

“Stop,” I said putting my hand on his shoulder. He glared at me, but I kept it there and rubbed my thumb across his collarbone. Francine watched and then her eyes flashed between the two of us. I jumped when she started laughing.

 

“What is so funny?” Lexi asked and I looked over my other shoulder to see her arms crossed over her chest, a disgusted look on her face. I would have smiled if I knew what the fuck was going on.

 

“You’re gay,” she said shaking her head. “So a deaf daughter and a homosexual son, tell me did my bastard brother have a heart attack?”

 

“No,” I answered, “why would he?”

 

“Like I said,” she answered, “they want perfection, they shred everything apart until they have it the way they want.”

 

“And like I said,” I countered, “I’m not like them, I’m more like my Grandma.”

 

“Her,” Francine hissed, “she wasn’t much better, but she at least sent money every year for birthdays and christmas.”

 

“What did she do?” I asked before I could stop myself. I finally got to the part of the conversation that would hurt me, if anything would.

 

“She tried to take Amelia from me,” she answered looking over her shoulder. “She had this wild plan of taking you both and destroying the company. She promised Amelia an inheritance, but it never came.”

 

“So this is about money?” I asked and her eyes narrowed.

 

“No,” she said, “but don’t you think your sister is entitled to what you have too?”

 

“She was going to ruin the company,” I countered my temper getting the better of me. “They stole it right out from under her after she overdosed on her heart medication. She fought them as hard as she could.”

 

“We stopped hearing from her not long after Amelia started college,” Francine said and for the first time I saw her eyes soften. “She stopped writing letters or sending presents and money.”

 

“They put her into a nursing home, she didn’t have anything to send,” I said and I felt tears burning my eyes. “She would have if she could, I know it, she developed Alzheimer’s Disease not long after they tossed her into the nursing home, she didn’t even really remember me after that.”

 

“I’m sorry,” she said glancing over her shoulder again. I let my hand drop from Adam’s shoulder, I was squeezing it hard, but he never flinched or stepped away.

 

“Can I meet my sister?” I said swallowing against the tightness of my throat. The tears never fell, but when she turned to motion for Amelia to come I reached up and quickly rubbed them from my eyes with the collar of my shirt.

 

“She can hear pretty well with her aids and she can read lips,” Francine said and when Amelia joined us she smiled.

 

“Hi Jason,” she said and my heart slammed in my chest. Although at a different pitch, with a more enunciated speech, she sounded a lot like Mom.

 

“Hi,” I said wanting to reach out to shake her hand, but she surprised me when she bypassed Francine and wrapped me into a hug.

 

“I’m glad you came,” she said as my arms wrapped around her. I could feel her sobbing quietly and I let myself cry. I watched Francine’s expression change from guarded to fighting tears as well.

 

“I would have come sooner,” I said when her sobbing slowed. She backed away still smiling. Now that she was standing closer I saw there were more similarities between us.

 

“Me too,” she said and something seemed to click inside my head. Like I knew those eyes and that smile already. That I had always known them. She was studying me closer now too, but neither of us looked away or felt ashamed for staring.

 

“Are you guys hungry?” Francine asked and we both snapped out of our daze. Amelia took a step back and wrapped her arm around our aunt still smiling at me.

 

“Starving,” Adam answered and I shook my head.

 

“We better get out of here I think your dog is about to get us thrown out,” Francine said and I glanced down for Sadie having forgotten that she was even here. I heard Lexi curse under her breath and when I looked around I found her licking the ice cream cone that a young boy held out for her. The boy’s mother was yelling at some maintenance guy and pointing at Sadie who ignored her.

 

“Damn,” I said and took off running in their direction.

 

“Your dog is supposed to be on a leash!” She yelled grabbing her son and making him drop the ice cream cone.

 

“Now ma’am we don’t litter,” the maintenance man said, but when she turned to look at him I saw that he probably wished he hadn’t said anything.

 

“I’m sorry about the dog, we forgot her leash,” I said grabbing Sadie by the collar and pulling her away from the ice cream cone. She struggled a few times then gave up. “Adam can you pay for the ice cream cone while I get Sadie back in the truck?”

 

“Yeah,” he said smiling as Lexi and I kept Sadie’s attention as we walked.

 

“She’s a pretty dog,” Amelia said walking along beside us with Francine on her other side.

 

“Mom hates her,” I said glancing up to see a small frown cross her face then fade into a smile. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t say stuff about them.”

 

“I’ve accepted it, I’m just angry,” she said and I smiled.

 

“You should come watch me throw the biggest tantrum they’ll ever see,” I countered and all three of them laughed as we stepped onto the sidewalk. I turned to see Adam jogging back towards us.

 

“We better just meet at home for lunch,” Francine said glancing down at Sadie. “Follow us there?”

 

“Yes, I’ll be right behind you,” I said feeling calm for the first time after being handed that envelope from Mom.

 

“See you there,” Amelia said and I watched them walk around the truck to a blue volvo. We quickly got into the truck and waited for them to back out of their spot. They waited for us and then we were following them down the curvy park road to the exit.

 

When we arrived, the house was nestled between two large trees. There was a white picket fence around the front lawn and across the road was a country club. They had neighbors that lived close by, in larger houses, and it seemed like a nice place. Adam parked beside Francine’s car and we all slid out of the truck, Sadie prancing around greeting everyone as we hovered around the front gate of the fence. I could tell they were still unsure about me, but Amelia opened the gate and led us all down the sidewalk and inside the house.

 

“Well here we are,” she said opening her arms as we took in the living room. It was open and bright, with sheer white curtains letting in the sunlight. There was a scent of vanilla and apples in the air. There was a white cat eying Sadie from the back of the couch, it swatted its tail against the back of the couch already agitated.

 

“Sadie out,” I said and she whimpered but bounced back outside.

 

“Snow is a bit anti-social,” Amelia said waving for us to sit in the living room.

 

“Sandwiches okay with you all?” Francine asked, but she didn’t really wait around for any of us to object as she stepped around the corner and into the kitchen.

 

“Francis isn’t really social either,” Amelia said loud enough for Francine to hear her.

 

“I heard that,” Francine said as she placed a tray with a pitcher of ice water down and a stack of plastic cups.

 

“I know,” Amelia countered shrugging, but Francine just nudged her shoulder as she walked back into the kitchen.

 

“So what did you go to college for?” I asked as Amelia grabbed the cups and poured water into all of them.

 

“Teaching,” she said smiling. “You went to Vanderbilt for business.”

 

“Yeah,” I said and she smiled wider.

 

“Grandma said you were going to,” she added placing a cup in front of me. I wanted to help, but didn’t know if that would have been welcome.

 

“What do you teach?” I asked glancing over at Adam. He was sitting across the table with Lexi sitting on the other side of me. He smiled and nodded back towards Amelia. It was the most contained I’ve ever saw him, but he seemed happy to be here with me.

 

“I teach at a private school for deaf children,” she said, “I teach sign language and algebra.”

 

“Eww algebra,” Lexi groaned from my other side.

 

“That’s how my students react,” Amelia said smiling.

 

“What are these?” Adam asked and I looked down to see him studying what looked like small copies of a blue print.

 

“The school needs a complete renovation, I’m trying to help figure out how to do it,” she said smiling at Adam. “So you’re Jason’s partner?”

 

“Something like that,” he said and Amelia turned to look at me. I felt my face flush. I wanted to correct Adam, to tell her that he was my partner or boyfriend or whatever. I just didn’t know if that was because I didn’t want her thinking that we were just sleeping together. He seemed to be waiting for me to correct him too, but when I didn’t he forced a smile that didn’t fit his face and looked away.

 

“It is really my school, I helped found it,” Amelia said picking up the papers she put them into a folder then slid it into a briefcase.

 

“What do you need help with?” I asked and she frowned.

 

“I’ll get it worked out,” she answered shrugging. “So what are they like?”

 

“Who?” I asked then I heard Adam snort and stifle a laugh. I glared at him until Amelia laughed as well.

 

“Our parents,” she said a hint of anger in her voice. I turned back to her, making sure that she had a good look at my face before I began talking, to make sure she was understanding everything I said.

 

“Probably about as bad as you can imagine,” I answered not holding back my own anger. “But this, this is definitely a new low.”

 

“Not really new, just new to you,” Francine said coming back into the living room holding another tray of sandwiches. She put them down where Amelia had removed her papers.

 

“Yeah, new to me,” I said still feeling uneasy around her.

 

“Francis stop making him feel bad,” Amelia said rolling her eyes. Adam grabbed a sandwich after Francine waved her hand towards them and took a seat in a second chair.

 

“I’m sorry, really,” Francine said sighing. “I just can’t help it when it comes to our family. I hope you’re not like them, but I don’t know you.”

 

“Would they have ever come?” Adam asked between bites. “I mean if you asked, do you think they would?”

 

“No,” Francine answered crossing her legs. She was wearing a light grey dress suit, something she would likely wear to work. Sometime between bringing the water or making the sandwiches she had fixed her hair into a stern looking bun, it only made her eyes more severe. I wondered if she intimidated everyone she met like she did me.

 

“See there,” he said smiling as he took a bite. I chewed on my bottom lip to keep from laughing. It was obvious there needed to be more of an explanation, but he thought he had made his point.

 

“I think,” Lexi said rolling her eyes. “That what my idiot brother is trying to say is, that Jason would care enough to come see his sister and his aunt.”

 

“Jason,” Francine said folding her hands and placing them in her lap. “Do your parents even know you’re here?”

 

“No,” I answered, “Mom gave me the envelope and I left for the beach, she doesn’t know.”

 

“She had to realize you’d track us down,” Francine added and I nodded. “Why is that, do you think?”

 

“She is trying to convince me that Dad is a bad person,” I said then frowned. “Well worse than her anyway, so that I’ll agree to help her secure my position and security within the company.”

 

“So they’re using you for leverage?” She asked not sounding a bit surprised. “I really don’t think I want Amelia involved in anything like that.”

 

“She won’t be,” I said fighting back my anger. “There’s more to this than what’s in that envelope, Mom isn’t innocent, is she?”

 

“Of course not,” Francine answered and I glanced at Amelia. She frowned and that’s when I saw the tear slide down her cheek. “She didn’t fight for Amelia either.”

 

“Do we have to talk about this?” Amelia asked looking only at Francine. “Please.”

 

“He needs to know and you haven’t heard about this either,” Francine countered gently. I could see that she loved Amelia, that she had taken care of her over the years. “I worked as a nurse at the hospital where you were born. I was the one that noticed there was something different with Amelia. She never cried, in a room full of crying babies, she barely even woke up most of the time. Jason you would open your eyes whenever anyone talked and try to pick out the sounds. You would jump at sudden noises and Amelia sometimes would not. Anyway, they told me to take her in, but that wasn’t all. They wanted me to be her guardian, but they didn’t want to go to court, they wanted me to help forge the documents.”

 

“And did you?” I asked interrupting her.

 

“No,” she answered, “but your father had it done anyway.”

 

“And you took Amelia in, just like that?” I asked still neglecting the sandwiches and the water although my stomach was empty and growled every time the smell hit me. Adam was on his second sandwich and Lexi was slowly nibbling on hers.

 

“If it wasn’t me, it would have been a stranger,” Francine said sighing as she turned to Amelia. “I hated so much that your mother wouldn’t fight to keep her child, when I couldn’t have any of my own. So I agreed and I agreed to keep quiet.”

 

“You could have ruined them yourself,” I countered, “something like this would have destroyed their credibility.”

 

“I would have lost Amelia,” Francine argued smiling. “I couldn’t stand thinking that if I outed them, she would be given back to them. To parents that wouldn’t try to understand her differences.”

 

“Francis,” Amelia said her voice a strained whisper. “Can’t we talk about better things?”

 

“I’m done,” she said, “but that is why I don’t trust any of you, of course.”

 

“I wouldn’t either,” I agreed and she smiled picking up a glass of water and taking a drink.

 

“So what do you plan to do now?” Francine asked reaching over and taking Amelia’s hand.

 

“I plan to make things right,” I answered, “whatever you want from me, I’ll do it.”

 

“We don’t want anything,” Amelia said, “just you, nothing else.”

 

“I’m not doing it for you,” I countered my heart hammering in my chest after she said that she wanted me in their lives. I had expected to be shoved out the door any moment and told not to come back. “I’m doing it because it is right.”

 

“What will you do?” Adam asked cocking an eyebrow. “I don’t think you’re ready for any of this stress.”

 

“I’m fine,” I countered, but Francine and Amelia both looked at me. “Anyway, I think we’ve bothered you guys enough for one day.”

 

“But you just got here,” Amelia said reaching across the small coffee table for my hand. She grabbed my wrist and smiled at me.

 

“I’ll come see you soon, if that is okay?” I asked glancing between the two of them. “I just really want to get back while I’m still angry enough to get through this.”

 

“Of course it is,” she said sighing. “Francis why did you have to dive into all the bad stuff today?”

 

“You know me, I like to rip the bandaid off,” she said smiling. “He came here for answers dear.”

 

“I know,” she said, “I just pictured it differently, sprawled out and sharing pictures, and stories, or something.”

 

“I didn’t bring any,” I said smiling at the thought of us sprawled out on the floor passing pictures back and forth from lives we should have shared.

 

“Bring them the next time you come,” she said, “or I can come up there.”

 

“Amelia,” Francine said, but Amelia shook head.

 

“I’ll come back this weekend, if that’s okay,” I said and they both nodded as they stood.

 

“It was nice meeting you Jason,” Francine said finally softening enough to really smile. “I really am sorry about all the unpleasantness.”

 

“I don’t want you to go,” Amelia said sighing.

 

“Don’t worry I’ll drag him down here myself if he chickens out,” Adam said and she laughed, but wrapped me into another hug before I could glare at him.

 

“I’ll see you soon,” I said breaking the hug and they followed us outside to the front porch. Hearing the door open Sadie jumped up and turned to face us. She whimpered as she licked my hands and I patted her on the head.

 

Waving and fighting the tightness of my throat, I didn’t want to leave her. I hated that I felt like I had met a stranger as well. That nothing was really holding me here, but the knowledge that the person waving back at me was supposed to be my sister. The feeling was something that was difficult to think through. She could be a friend so easily, but I wondered when I would start feeling what my parents stole from the both of us. The feeling of family, it wasn’t something I was sure I’ve ever really felt.