Force of Nature - 4. Chapter 4

As the sun began to set I realized I didn’t exactly know when I was supposed to meet Adam at the coffee shop. If I didn’t have that argument with Mom as soon as I got home I probably wouldn’t have went. When I entered the bedroom after I took a shower I looked down at my bed, the sheets still completely ripped off it from the night before. The brief talk with Morris that was focused on my actual attack didn’t settle my nerves any. At least Adam gave me a reason to put off sleeping, if what he had planned lasted long enough. Maybe I could exhaust myself enough to sleep too deeply to dream.

After I dressed in a pair of jeans and a tshirt I walked down the stairs. My new bank cards hadn’t come in yet so I sighed when I heard Mom and Dad talking in the kitchen. My face flushed when I stepped in and they stopped eating their late dinner to look at me.

“Do you want some food?” Tania asked glancing over her shoulder to look at me. I saw her face fall, but she didn’t say anything. Out of everyone who worked for Mom and Dad she was the warmest. Reading the shock on her face had me wondering just how bad I looked, but it could have been just her knowing what had happened. She would never show me any affection in front of Mom, she knew Mom hated it.

“That’s alright, I’m going out,” I said, offering her a smile. “It smells good though.”

“I know,” she said, winking as she went back to loading the dishwasher.

“Mom, Dad,” I said as I crossed the kitchen to the table. They were eating some sort of pasta soup with chicken and vegetables. Tania had gone to culinary school for a few years before she had to drop out to take care of her son.

“We would have sent for you, but you seemed to want your space,” Mom said, showing no signs of our argument earlier. Although, her leaving me out of dinner was a way of punishing me in her own way.

“It’s alright I’m not really hungry right now,” I said, but the smell of food reminded me just how empty my stomach has been the last few days.

“Why don’t you sit down and try to eat, you’re looking too thin,” Dad said motioning for me to take a seat at the table.

“I was kind of wanting to go out,” I said, resting my hands on the back of my usual seat at dinner time. It was a round table and Mom and Dad sat side by side and I across from them. “My cards haven’t come in, so I need to borrow some money.”

“Where are you going?” Mom asked, holding up her glass of wine, she took a drink waiting for me to answer.

“I’m not sure, somewhere in town,” I said, shrugging. She seemed to relax. Town was boring, only bowling alleys, theaters, and a few restaurants.

“Give him some money dear,” Mom ordered, offering Dad a short smile before turning back to her dinner.

“I’ll pay you back,” I said, feeling my face flush again. Taking money from them reminded me of how helpless I was right now.

“Nonsense, you’re our son,” she said as Dad handed me some money. I didn’t take the time to count it, just folded it and shoved it into my front pocket.

“If you’re planning on running off, don’t,” Dad said looking me over.

“I’ll be back tonight or in the morning, I promise,” I said hoping they didn’t read into what I told them too much, but Mom turned to look at Dad so I turned and walked out of the kitchen before they could ask me anything else.

Kenny wouldn’t be waiting, after five he leaves and is cranky if we call him back over. I didn’t want to be driven so I walked over and picked up the keys to the BMW knowing it likely had gas and opened the front door to Sadie waiting to bolt inside from the front porch.

“Do you really want her to corner you again?” I asked gently, shoving her back outside with my knee and closing the door behind me. She whined pawing at the front door.

It was still chilly at night, being early April. The crickets and the fireflies hadn’t started coming out at night. There wasn’t a breeze either, a complete stillness around me. Walking down the trail to the garage where the cars were I couldn’t help feeling anxious about the darkness. I looked up seeing the stars, but the moon hadn’t started to rise yet. The quiet was different from that night and if I had been anywhere else, maybe I would have heard them coming well before they got close enough. I shivered, rubbing my hands over my arms and quickened my pace.

The BMW was parked just outside of the garage, so I quickly slid in feeling less exposed now that I was sitting inside the car. I had never really been afraid of the dark. The thought of being scared of it now that I was nearing twenty five years of age made me feel worse. I didn’t want to abandon my plan tonight though, I needed a distraction.

Being a weeknight there wasn’t a lot of traffic in town, most people were already home from work by now. Most everything still open would be closing around nine. So I was able to park directly in front of the coffee shop without having to circle around until an available parking spot close by opened up. I hesitated looking around before I slid out of the car. I hit the lockdown button before I hurried across the narrow sidewalk and inside the shop. It wasn’t busy at all so I didn’t have to scan too many faces before I found Adam sitting alone at the booth we shared this morning. When he noticed me he seemed relieved as he quickly slid out of the booth and walked towards me.

“Didn’t think you’d come,” he said, shouldering past me.

“Beats sitting at home,” I countered, turning around and walking back through the door he held open. Being with someone else on the street allowed me to relax.

“You’re driving, I’d have to sell a kidney if I wrecked that sucker,” he said, taking in the BMW. I rolled my eyes, but unlocked the doors so he could slide into the passenger seat. I hurried around the front of the car to the driver’s side and got in as well. When the door was closed he looked over at me, the street lights on the sidewalk only illuminated his face in shadows. He was smiling his seatbelt already fastened.

“I don’t know where to go,” I said putting the keys into the ignition, I started the car.

“Do you know where the italian place is on Clackston Street?” He asked and I nodded and looked around for traffic before I started forward.

“Talio’s right?” I asked as I turned around at the next stoplight. It was in the better part of town.

“Yeah I have reservations,” he said as he leaned over and played with the audio system, “I hope you’re hungry.”

“I am,” I said, glancing at him and seeing he wasn’t paying any attention to me.

“I’m waiting for the questions,” he said, breaking the silence that fell between us. He finally found something he liked, it sounded like rock music, but he kept it turned too far down for me to make out any of the lyrics, just the beat of the bass.

“I wasn’t going to ask any,” I countered as I saw Talio’s come into view. Unlike the coffee shop it was significantly more crowded based on the parking, but they had a private drive and a valet service.

“So it’s my turn then,” he said, offering me a smile as I pulled up to the stand. A man was waiting and I turned off the engine and he opened the door. Adam didn’t wait and unfastened his seatbelt and got out of the car.

“Thanks,” I said as I handed over my keys and accepted the slip of paper to hand back to him later and walked to catch up to Adam as he hovered in front of the doors. The hostess was holding it open for us and when I was a few steps behind him he walked inside.

“Two, Adam Ross,” he said to a second person and she smiled and led us to a quiet booth in the back of the restaurant.

“Is this fine gentlemen?” She asked, waving her hand like a model trying to sell a car at an auction.

“It will do nicely, thank you,” he said and she nodded her head and moved out of our way so we could take our seats.

“Someone will be with you shortly,” she said, but Adam held up his hand.

“The chef’s special for both of us,” he said, “we’re sort of in a hurry.”

“Okay, do you want to know what wines we have?” She asked and I noticed that she didn’t look at me.

“Just ask him which one goes best with the special and we’ll have that,” Adam said and she smiled and nodded leaving us alone.

“Are we in a hurry?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow. I had eaten here before, but it was a long time ago.

“This chef’s specials are incredible, the only real thing worth eating here,” he said shrugging, “but no we’re not in a hurry, it’s good to light a fire under people this time of night.”

“I guess so,” I said and he laughed and rested his elbows on the table. Neither of us were dressed for this sort of establishment, even if it was on a weekday.

“You look different, from prep school,” he said, taking me away from all the decorations on the walls. They looked like authentic artwork, but I never was that good at judging any of it.

“Everyone probably does, right?” I asked, studying him.

“Your hair is longer and you look human,” he said, offering me a smile. “I guess it’s odd that I remember how you looked, it’s been, what, seven years?”

“Yes it has,” I said, swallowing, but my mouth was dry. I didn’t want him asking the questions, but I hadn’t taken him up on his offer in the car. “What do you mean by human?”

“Well in school you always looked so polished and clean,” he said, “you always kept your hair a certain length and a certain way, like you never changed.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling my face getting warm.

“The only thing that wasn’t polished was that accent of yours,” he continued like I hadn’t said anything.

“Do you remember everyone we went to school with?” I asked. I could only remember a few, but they were so far away I rarely saw or talked to them. People from that school usually moved on and left the town behind, as upscale as it was. If you didn’t have a job waiting for you, it was likely you wouldn’t get one at all.

“A couple people,” he answered shrugging. “Not a whole lot of us from that class are left here, just the ones that took up the family businesses around town.”

“You never told me what you studied at Auburn,” I said and I saw his frown before he could hide it.

“I didn’t finish,” he said, “two years into their veterinary program I cracked under the pressure, I ended up with a Veterinary Technology degree from a community college.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of,” I said and he shot me a glare then sighed.

“What are you a Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Duke?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Vanderbilt, I answered and he smirked. “Business.”

“MBA?” He asked and I nodded.

“Taking over the goldmine after Daddy then,” he said and when I leaned back against the booth he held his hand up when I grimaced. “It’s a nice future.”

“I don’t think I’m really ready,” I countered and he smiled.

“I think you can do anything you put your mind to,” he said and I felt myself relax and was about to tell him that he didn’t really know me, but a waitress brought our food and a bottle of white wine chilled on ice.

“Thanks,” I said after my plate was set in front of me. It was a heavily sauced chicken pasta with vegetables. It made my stomach growl.

“I’ll take it from here, thank you,” he said and I watched as he handed her a tip. Then he uncorked the wine and poured two glasses.

“What do your parents do?” I asked after swallowing the first bite of food. I didn’t know what the rest of the menu even was, but I wasn’t disappointed.

“Surgeons,” he said rolling his eyes, “the both of them.”

“And you made fun of me for what my parents did,” I said, smirking. “They have to be about as well off as mine.”

“Not quite,” he said smiling, “but they do nicely. I’m a complete mess and they like to remind me.”

“I think that’s just parents for you,” I offered as I watched him attack his plate of food, slurping every stray noodle into his mouth. I glanced around, but no one seemed to be watching him.

“It’s food not glass, you don’t have to be gentle with it,” he said between bites. I laughed then tried my best to ignore him as I ate. He finished eating well before I did, but he waited patiently until I put my fork down and finished off the glass of wine.

“Checks?” A waitress asked, noticing our empty plates, “Or are you interested in dessert.”

“No,” he said, turning to look at me, “are you?”

“No,” I answered, not wanting to push myself. After not eating a lot for so long, it didn’t take a lot to make me feel full.

“Alright, here you go,” she said and held out a piece of paper. Before I could reach to take it though, Adam snatched it out of her hand and began fishing out of his wallet.

“You tip,” he said and I sighed and stood. He walked past me as I counted the money Dad gave me and placed a couple twenties on the table. He was already getting a receipt by the time I caught up to him. He signed the first copy and shoved the second one in his pocket. When we were outside I handed the valet attendant the piece of paper and he quickly retrieved my car. I handed him a tip before I got inside. I watched Adam jog around the car and he quickly got into the passenger seat.

“Where to now?” I asked as I left the restaurant.

“Want to come to my house?” He asked and I glanced at him.

“I don’t know,” I said, slowing down at the stop light.

“Why not?” He asked, turning in the seat to look at me.

“I don’t really know you,” I answered, “where do you live?”

“Apartment on 4th Street,” he answered and I glanced at the clock on the sound system. It was too early to go home. I also couldn’t deny the part of me that didn’t want to tell him no.

“Alright,” I said as I hit main street and started counting the side streets until I came to the fourth one.

“They have parking around back,” he said pointing to a narrow alleyway and I slowly turned into it. It opened up to a well lit parking lot. “Park beside my truck, it's the white one.”

“Okay,” I said, noticing the only white truck in the parking lot and parked beside it. He didn’t wait for me to kill the engine before he got out of the car. When I got out and locked the doors he offered me a smile and waited for me to walk around to his side. I knew I wouldn’t have made the walk in the dark alley alone and he didn’t say anything when I walked close beside him, our elbows bumping together as we did.

“I live on the second floor,” he said, opening the door to the foyer. I waited as he checked his mail and followed him up the stairs. The hallways were dimly lit, but the apartments smelled and looked clean. When he stopped in front of the first door I bumped into him and he shook his head as he unlocked the door and let it swing open. “It’s probably not as big as your room, but at least there aren’t any parents.”

“Nice,” I said as he let me enter the apartment before him. He shut and locked the door as I looked around the living room. The television was paused on a game he had been playing on his Xbox. He stepped past me and turned it off. I could see into the kitchen. I was actually surprised how clean everything was. I had expected pizza boxes and beer bottles.

“You look surprised,” he said, shrugging his shoulders as he looked around.

“I didn’t expect this,” I said, “no pizza boxes or milk crate tables.”

“I’m insulted,” he said, shaking his head. “I like things clean.”

“It’s nice though, it’s quiet,” I said, and he crossed his arms.

“Do you want to sit down?” I asked, “I have beer and popcorn.”

“I don’t want anything,” I countered and he took a step towards me, but he hesitated and then walked around to the front of the couch and sat down. After a few moments I walked over to the couch and sat down beside him. It was a small couch that didn’t leave a lot of room between us. When I did sit down he turned and looked at me.

“What do you like?” He asked, “Apart from chocolate milkshakes, I mean.”

“I like to swim,” I answered shrugging, “is that what you want to know?”

“Sure,” he said, “have you worked for your Dad long?”

“A few weeks, I probably would have my own place by now if I wasn’t...” I started then frowned and looked down at my hands.

“What were you thinking?” He asked and I looked up to see him leaning closer to me.

“What do you mean?” I asked and he offered me a careful smile.

“While it happened or just after, what did you think,” he said and I felt my throat tighten. I tried to swallow, but I couldn’t.

“I, I don’t really think I can talk about this,” I muttered and when I went to stand he reached out and grabbed my arm.

“You need to,” he said, “the more you do the smaller the demons become.”

“Demons,” I whispered, turning to look at him.

“The things that pick you apart,” he added and let go of my arm and we sat in silence. The only noise coming from the hum of the refrigerator and the traffic on the street.

“I was actually thinking about something my grandmother told me,” I said looking down at my hands in my lap. “That death was a force of nature or something, I think she was trying to comfort me.”

“And you thought you were going to die?” He asked and I glanced up at him. The darkest thoughts I ever had was dancing around on my tongue and all I could think about is that out of everyone I knew he was the one I trusted most to say them. Being a stranger it made little sense, but being alone in his apartment did as well. I was beginning to realize that from here on out a lot of the things that once made sense no longer did.

“I wanted to,” I said, “I would have begged for it if I were able to.”

“That doesn’t sound as bad as it seems,” he said, reaching up, he grabbed my shoulder and gently massaged it with his hand. “How bad was it?”

“I never understood it completely, broken ribs, head injuries, some internal stuff,” I explained, surprised that I felt relieved. I had expected the first person that I told to judge me or freak out, but he didn’t seem like he was about to do either of those things.

“Not here, it would have been all over the news here,” he said and I smiled when he pointed towards the floor with his other hand.

“New York,” I said, “I had a fight with my parents, New York was a bad choice for starting over I guess.”

“Yeah the winters there are shit,” he said, offering me a smile.

“Probably,” I agreed, turning to look at him. When I did I saw him watching me and that’s when I noticed that his hand had moved to wrap around the back of my neck. Then he leaned forward and I closed my eyes when I felt his lips brush mine. When he felt me relax he pulled my face closer to his and I opened my mouth when I felt his tongue lick my lips. Then I surprised myself when I kissed him back.

“Sorry,” he said, breaking the kiss leaning his forehead against mine.

“Don’t be,” I whispered, my voice uneven. I kept my eyes closed and leaned up to kiss him again. This time he grabbed my shoulder and repositioned himself. Forgetting all about my ribs until his hand rubbed down my side causing a sharp pain. I winced and he leaned back quickly.

“What?” He asked, caught off guard by my sudden change.

“Ribs,” I answered, offering him a smile.

“Oh, right, I forgot,” he said but he didn’t lean forward again.

“Yeah, I did too,” I added and he smirked.

“That was the point, wasn’t it?” He asked, “Making you forget all that.”

“Yeah,” I said and then he stretched and leaned back against the couch.

“Try not to use me as a distraction for too much longer though,” he said gently, shoving me with his hand. “I don’t think it was fair for your grandma to tell you that death was a force of nature.”

“Why not?” I asked, wondering if I’ll ever stop being caught off guard by him. He was definitely difficult to keep up with.

“There are just so many better ones,” he answered, reaching over to take my hand.

“Like what exactly?” I asked as he placed my hand on his chest.

“Well life really, if you accept death as one, life has to be the bigger one,” he answered and he placed my hand over his heart. I could feel it beating through his shirt.

“That’s true, I guess,” I said, noticing him smirk when my voice cracked.

“The changing of the seasons have to be as well,” he said and I let my hand slide down his chest back to my lap. “I like this time of year, everything comes back to life.”

“Yeah,” I agreed, watching him work through his thoughts.

“You will too,” he said and then looked at me, “come back to life I mean.”

“I’d like to forget it all now,” I said, leaning my head back against the couch closing my eyes.

“Kissing in the rain, that can feel pretty nice,” he said, “can that count?”

“Probably only if you get struck by lightning,” I said, hearing him laugh.

“We’ll see,” he countered, then he yawned and stretched again. “Ready for bed?”

“Not really,” I said, my mind still felt too awake.

“Maybe a nice cuddle buddy will keep the nightmares away,” he said standing up, he held out his hand and I took it. He gently pulled me up and I followed him down the dark hallway to his bedroom. Once inside he turned on a bedside lamp and kicked off his shoes as he pulled his shirt off over his head.

“You don’t ever take your time with anything, do you?” I asked as I kicked off my own shoes.

“You’ll have to wait and see won’t you?” He said wiggling his eyebrows he quickly unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants. By the time I pulled my shirt over my head he was already pulling down the bed covers and getting into bed. When I had my pants off he held the covers open for me and I slid in. Then he leaned over me and flipped off the lights.

“Goodnight,” I said, then I felt him turn to face me, his knees knocking against mine. I could feel him watching me in the darkness of the room. Despite everything and far from making any sense I felt calm..

“Goodnight,” he whispered and I listened to his breathing until I fell asleep.