Force of Nature - 6. Chapter 6

Stepping out of the shower I glanced down to see the palm of my hand clean of all the ink. I grabbed a towel and dried myself off noticing that the bruises were all gone. The scar on my side was small and pinker. My ribs no longer really hurt, just a dull pain now and again to remind me that I still needed to take it easy.

Wrapping the towel around my waist I walked out of the room and jumped when I saw Tania sitting on my bed looking at me. Seeing me step out of the bathroom she stood up and turned her head away from me.

“I’m sorry,” she said, holding her hand over her eyes. “I need to talk with you, I’ll wait out in the hall.”

“Alright,” I said, frowning as she hurried from the room. After the door was closed I dropped the towel and walked over my dresser and grabbed a pair of boxer briefs, a pair of shorts, and a white t-shirt. When I was dressed I walked over to the door and opened it.

“I’m sorry,” she said again and I waved my hand. “I had just come in, I didn’t know you were in the shower.”

“It’s fine Tania,” I said, “you didn’t see anything.”

“I saw too much,” she said, frowning. She was only three or four years older than I was. Her son’s father left her after she became pregnant. She had raised him by herself with the help of her mother. She used to bring him here, until Mom put a stop to it after he accidentally knocked over one of her prize vases.

“You’ve seen me shirtless before, out in the pool,” I countered, noticing a blush rise in her cheeks. You could see the mix of her race more so when she was worried or excited.

“Not the same thing and you know it,” she huffed, crossing her arms.

“Just don’t worry about it,” I said as she glanced towards the bedroom door again. “Now what did you want to talk to me about?”

“I don’t know that I want to anymore,” she said, turning back to me. “I overheard you with your mother.”

“I noticed,” I said, smirking.

“It wasn’t you talking to your mother,” she said, offering me a tight smile. “It was someone else, someone that I have never seen before.”

“What do you mean?” I asked and she sat down on the bed.

“I’ve grown very fond of you Jason,” she said, “like a younger brother you’ve always treated me kindly.”

“I like you too,” I said sitting down on the bed next to her. When she scooted a few feet away and turned to look at me I saw tears in her eyes.

“As an employee I shouldn’t speak to you like this,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “But you scared the hell out of me down there.”

“How so?” I asked as a tear fell down her cheek.

“You sounded so cold,” she answered, “so vicious, it wasn’t like you at all.”

“Come on Tania…” I started, but she held up her hand.

“No,” she said, “I know what you went through, what you go through with them...”

“Okay,” I said after she fell silent and studied me.

“And for the first time I thought that you acted just like them,” she whispered, her voice threatening to fail her completely. “Don’t lose your warmth Jason.”

“I haven’t,” I said, reaching for her as she stood, but she pulled her hand away.

“You were always like a breath of fresh air, always gentle, and understanding,” she said, turning back to me. “Please don’t let what happened take that from you.”

“What if it does?” I said looking up at her.

“It won’t if you hold on to the good,” she said, offering me a smile. “I’m not asking you to do what they want, just find your way back by not hating them so much.”

“I’ll try not to,” I said and she smiled.

“Promise?” She asked, wiping the tears from her face.

“Promise,” I said and she walked over and bent down hugging me to her.

“When are you going to bring Lucas around?” I asked as she broke the hug.

“When he’s old enough not to tear up the house,” she said, “he misses you, you know.”

“I owe him a good backyard water gun fight,” I said, relieved to see her laugh.

“Well I better get lunch started,” she said walking to the door.

“Thank you Tania,” I said and she nodded and stepped out of the room. I listened as her steps down the long hallway faded. Sighing I threw myself back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

I didn’t know when I fell asleep until I rolled over and sat up on my bed. I looked over at the clock on my nightstand and saw that I had been out for a couple of hours. Not being able to sleep a lot at night without having a nightmare, I found myself tired during the day. Trying to tame my longer hair I saw the little folded note and reached over and took it.

“I brought up some lunch, but you were asleep and I didn’t want to bother you - Tania.”

Sighing I stood and dropped the note back on my nightstand. I figured Mom would have had her wake me up, probably sent her up to do it. Tania probably sneaked my plate up here, Mom thought that eating should be done together at the table. Remembering the fight we had this morning I grimaced. I have always bottled up most of my anger dealing with them. I would have never said the nasty things that would come to my mind. Now they seemed to be coming out of my mouth before I could stop them. Knowing that I freaked Tania out worried me more than anything.

After college Kenny and Tania had been the people I was most comfortable around. Most of my friends were off working long hours in different parts of the world. I glanced down at my palm and only saw small dots of ink left from the number Adam scribbled on it. I hadn’t planned on calling him, to save us both the trouble. Now I regretted it, because there really wasn’t much left to do around here. I had expected to be working and following Dad around, I knew I would be expected to do that soon. If I didn’t hate the idea so much I would have looked forward to it. At least it would have kept me from the lonely quiet.

Walking over to my closet I slid into a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt. I slid my feet into a pair of flip-flops and grabbed my wallet from the nightstand. I still ignored my phone on the bookcase. Knowing that the only people that would call me would be Dad or Mom and I was still ignoring them if I could.

When I walked down the stairs to the front door Kenny entered the house carrying multicolored bags with different labels on them. Seeing me he rolled his eyes just as Mom walked through the door taking her sunglasses off. Sadie took the opportunity to dart around her. Seeing me she bounded towards me and licked my hand.

“Get that damn mutt out of here,” Mom hissed, sliding her sunglasses back into her purse. She stepped out of her shoes and I frowned when I saw Tania come into the front entrance and take them. She met me at the bottom of the stairs offering me a smile before she walked past me.

“Is that all Ms. Colby?” Kenny asked after setting the bags down just beside the staircase.

“Yes Kenny,” she said, doing her best to ignore me, but glanced in my direction before she walked into the kitchen. Kenny closed the door and was about to put the keys down, but I walked over and held out my hand.

“Haircut,” I said as he handed me the keys.

“I could take you,” Kenny said whispering, “to get me away from her for a few minutes.”

“That’s alright, I’d rather go by myself,” I said and took the keys to the black BMW and Kenny opened the door and followed me out.

“If you’re going to continue pissing her off I’m going to get my ass fired,” Kenny said after the front door closed. “She’s had me take her on damn near a hundred shopping trips since you’ve been gone.”

“To calm her nerves I guess,” I said, rolling my eyes. Mom liked to lose herself in shopping when things bothered her. When I was younger and after Dad and her got into a fight she would drag me along. She hardly ever bought me anything and I found myself sitting in a chair at some store while her and a sales lady discussed different outfits and shoes.

“I’m not her therapist, I don’t give a shit,” Kenny said, lighting up a cigarette stepping down the stairs as I walked down them. The car was parked out front and I gave him a short wave knowing Kenny wasn’t good to talk to when he was cranky. Tania would have to calm him down before he got himself fired again.

Driving back into town it seemed more empty than I remembered. I knew the town had slowly been dying away instead of growing. Most people here had left the middle of nowhere life for the coast. It was still a nice place though, one I always kept coming back to despite what usually welcomed me. When I found a parking spot close to the salon I slid out of the car and locked the doors behind me. There were a number of cars parked out front, but they always made time for me when I needed a haircut.

“Hi Mr. Colby,” the front receptionist greeted.

“Hi,” I said, not knowing her name.

“Alyssa can fit you in,” she said, checking the appointment schedule on the computer.

“Thanks,” I said, reaching into my front pocket and sliding a couple of bills across the desk. “I know it’s a hassle for me to just walk in here like this.”

“Not at all,” she said, accepting the tip with a smile.

When I stepped around the corner I saw only one empty chair, but she smiled and waved me through. I had only started coming here for haircuts and only because Mom had suggested it. They did a good job though, so I never went searching for another place.

“Ready for me Mr. Colby?” Alyssa asked and I noticed a few other stylists glance over their shoulders or through their mirrors in my direction.

“Sure am,” I said, sliding into the chair. She gently draped the cape over me, putting her hands on both my shoulders.

“What are you in for this afternoon?” She said reaching up and running her fingers through my hair.

“Just a haircut today,” I said smiling as she continued to massage my scalp.

“Are you sure?” She said leaning closer to my shoulder. “I can clean you up nicely.”

“I’m sure,” I said, my eyes going to the black lace bra that peaked out from behind her low cut blouse. I could tell she was a couple of years older than me, but money didn’t stop people from trying. She also could have been married, but I didn’t see any rings. I was used to flirting, it came with the territory once people realized who I was.

“Well if you’re sure,” she said as she stopped massaging my scalp.

“I just want it trimmed about three or so inches,” I said, noticing how long my hair really was when she pulled up a lock and eyeballed the length it would be after she cut it.

“About here?” She said and I nodded. I always kept my hair about three or four inches long, so I could style it however I liked. Whatever made me look presentable to Mom and Dad. Grimacing as she grabbed hold of a fine tooth comb and a pair of scissors I held up my hand.

“On second thought,” I said, causing her to stop before she cut, offering me a broader smile than before when I shot down her advances.

“Yes dear?” She asked leaning forward so she could hear me over the noise and chatter.

“I’m going to a rock concert, but I don’t want to go too crazy, something I can still look good in a suit with, just a little edgy,” I said looking up to find her eyes in the mirror. She looked horrified, but she offered me a smile.

“I think we can handle that,” she said, putting her scissors down to study my face longer. I waited, feeling my cheeks flush. She seemed to see me shrink slightly in the chair and offered me a small smile. “Do you trust me?”

“Hair grows back, right?” I said and she laughed while picking up her comb.

“How do you usually style it?” She asked, “I think I remember just a simple cut with enough length to gel and comb it back.”

“Sounds about right,” I answered shrugging as her boob brushed against my shoulder again.

“The prep-school, ivy league look,” she said wrinkling her nose a little as she started styling it that way so I could see it. Although my hair was significantly longer than how I usually kept it I saw that she had pulled off my old style for the most part. It looked fuller and it took more of an effort for her to get it there.

“That’ll be it,” I said, studying her in the mirror.

“It’s a very nice look for a professional like yourself,” she said and I noticed that the salon had become quieter. I looked around to see that some of the other girls had finished with their clients and were watching us. “A little boring for a guy your age.”

“It is what Mom wants, a nice clean look,” I said, smirking. She laughed and took her fingers through my hair messing it up. It fell into my eyes and she brushed it away picking up her comb and scissors.

“I think I know what will suit your face,” she said then she surprised me when she turned my chair around so I couldn’t see the mirror anymore. I sat back trying not to think about what was happening. Most of the other stylists were cleaning up their stations and watching, some looked a little jealous, others were studying me. I guess word had gotten out that we were big tippers if we liked something. As time passed and more hair trickled down my shoulder I got a little worried. She never mixed up any color or put anything in it, so at least that was comforting. I did tell her that I was going to a rock concert and that could backfire on a person. It was strange that I was this bothered by my hair at all though, when I only had one look. It was enough. Now that I was branching out and trying things on my own, I found even that these decisions were bothersome. I hoped it wasn’t another side-effect from the attack, that my confidence in my decisions wasn’t completely shot. I jumped when she sprayed my hair, the cold water sending a shudder through me. I heard her giggle, but she ran her comb through my hair and then I heard the sound of the scissors. Looking around again, the stylists that didn’t have clients were starting to smile. So I felt better as my hair cut began to take shape.

When she was done cutting she put the scissors down on her station. I glanced down at the ring of my hair that had fallen around the chair and swallowed against the pit of my stomach. Then she massaged some gel into my hair, combing through it a few times before she started styling it.

“Close your eyes,” she said and I hesitated then closed them. I felt the chair being turned back around. I wanted to open my eyes as soon as it stopped, but I kept them closed. “Okay now, open.”

“Wow,” I said, looking at myself in the mirror.

“It’s a growing trend,” she said after I fell silent. I saw that her eyes were wide and her voice wasn’t as flirtatious or friendly. “It’s not quite an undercut, your hair is long enough you can blend it, but this is how you should wear it casually.”

“Alright,” I said leaning forward, momentarily distracted by a ball of hair rolling down my cape and into the floor. I looked up and studied myself in the mirror. Like all the other times I looked at myself now, it wasn’t the hair that bothered me, but my eyes had looked wrong. I had to admit that I liked my haircut, the top of it longer than the sides, but not so drastically that I noticed it right off. She had cut the rest of my hair down to the length I usually wore it, about four inches long. The gel made it stay and she styled it in a messy wave on the top of my head. If it was all the same length it would be my old hair cut, but now that it wasn’t I looked younger.

“So,” she said when my eyes found her in the mirror. She stood up on her tip-toes anticipating my answer. “What do you think?”

“I like it,” I said, offering her a smile. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” she said leaning in closer. “I hope your Mom hates it.”

“Oh she will,” I said laughing. Then Alyssa brushed all the loose hair off the cape and into the floor before pulling it off me. I stood and fished out my wallet, knowing that everyone else would be watching. I folded the money into the palm of my hand and slid it into hers still smiling. I turned to everyone else. “See y’all later.”

“Bye Mr. Colby,” Alyssa said and I nodded and walked out of the room knowing that they’ll be waiting just long enough for me to get out of earshot before they started talking. I gave the front receptionist a quick wave before I stepped outside.

Being outside I sighed looking across the sidewalk to my car. I had wanted a haircut, not really liking long hair. Now that I had one, I knew I didn’t have anything else planned and not just for today either, but for a while. For a few moments I cursed myself for washing away Adam’s number again. Not wanting someone to feel sorry for you, but needing a friend was an odd feeling. Not trusting the people you should trust the most, I was used to. I had years to develop those feelings and not even the attack had changed them. Instead it seemed to make them worse. I had expected them to try to fix things, be my parents for once, and not my betters. They had molded me my whole life into this perfect image, I had been their creation. Although I hated it, when I was younger I didn’t feel the weight of it yet. I was spared by ignorance. Now though, looking back I knew I should have fought harder to be my own person. I wondered if I ever would be.

“You’re looking pretty lost,” a girl’s voice said and I looked around to see Lexi wearing her coffee shop uniform smiling up at me. She was short, coming up to my chest.

“Car’s just over there,” I answered pointing across the sidewalk to my car. She glanced at it then rolled her eyes.

“You know what I meant,” she said, crossing her arms. “I just thought my brother was annoying like that, but I’m beginning to think all guys are.”

“Sorry,” I said smiling. “I look lost, because I don’t know what to do with myself now.”

“I see you got a haircut,” she said, studying me. “You look hot.”

“Lexi,” I said, glancing around to see if anyone else was on the sidewalk.

“Sorry,” she said, “Adam keeps telling me I say too much.”

“How is your brother?” I asked and she shrugged her shoulders.

“Not seen him yet today, which is probably a good thing,” she answered shrugging. “Did you two reconnect?”

“We never really were friends,” I said and she frowned momentarily then reached up and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

“He said you went to school together,” she said shrugging, “so I figured last night was some sort of class reunion for two.”

“We did go to school together, but I guess I was too shy, I don’t remember him much,” I added blushing slightly. It was the truth though, I didn’t remember seeing him in grade school or when I was enrolled in those private schools. It was like watching flashbacks of catching his eye in a crowded classroom or in a hallway, but we never spoke. I didn’t even know his name back then.

“He didn’t really come out of his shell until college,” she said, offering me a smile. “He came out of it a bit too much if you ask me.”

“Why do you think he waited?” I asked and she started walking knowing that I would follow her. I couldn’t help thinking that she had some of his qualities too, but then I didn’t really know either of them. How they both just figured I would follow them where they went made me want to laugh.

“Because he’s gay,” she answered glancing at me for any sign of surprise, but I could tell she expected me to already know. “He got to college and decided he didn’t care what people thought anymore.”

“Sounds like a good thing, not caring,” I said and she frowned and we came to a stop and I looked up to see that we were standing outside the coffee shop where she worked.

“You can go too far with not caring,” she said, opening the door, holding it open for me. “Want something to do, be my lackey for an hour, my friend didn’t show up.”

“Really?” I asked, trying not to laugh when she looked around to see if anyone overheard her.

“Yeah, I took this job because I thought Mindy would be working, but then she up and quits,” she whispered as we walked through the coffee shop. Like yesterday most people were sitting alone, working on tablets or laptops with a neglected cup sitting on the table. “She got a new boyfriend I think.”

“Oh,” I said, trying to sound interested in her drama, but her asking me to work surprised me. I didn’t think she was serious until she motioned for me to follow her behind a counter. There she grabbed an apron and pulled it on, tying it around her waist. Then she grabbed a second apron and handed it to me. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she answered gently, pushing the apron into my hand. I pulled it on, careful not to mess up my hair. She smiled and unlocked the cash register just as another woman came out of a pair of swinging doors in the back. She refilled the thick paper cups and looked over at us smiling when she saw Lexi.

“Thank god,” she said, smoothing out her apron she came up to Lexi. “Who’s this?”

“A friend,” Lexi answered, glancing at me. “I grabbed him off the street a few minutes ago.”

“Just don’t steal anything,” she said and I noticed that she was an older woman, but her face was round and youthful. She was tanned and her hair was curling around her temples and the nape of her neck.

“I won’t,” I said and then she studied me for a few moments.

“Jason Colby,” she said, her eyebrows raising as she took me in. “I haven’t seen you in years.”

“I don’t,” I started, hating that I was always recognized around here and not remembering who the other person was.

“You won’t know me,” she said, “you were just a baby, I worked for your Momma, I changed your diapers.”

“You don’t look old enough,” I said smiling when she laughed and gently slapped me on the arm.

“If you want a full time job, you just won me over,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I guess I know you won’t steal anything.”

“Yeah,” I said, “just today though, Lexi dragged me in here against my will.”

“Did not,” Lexi said, sticking her tongue out. “He was a lost puppy and he followed me.”

“Alright, just let him hang out, don't work him too hard,” she said, shaking her finger at Lexi before she pulled off her apron and draped it over her shoulder. She walked around the counter and didn’t look back as she walked around the door and down the sidewalk out of view.

“She never told me her name,” I said, glancing over at Lexi as she sat on a high stool at the counter.

“Greta, she’s the owner,” she said, settling in for her shift. It was quiet, the only noise coming from the soft music playing in the overhead speakers. It was from the local radio station down the road, it was a catch all station that played most everything. “Have a seat.”

“Alright,” I said, pulling out a second bar stool, sitting beside her. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yes,” she said, “Adam told me you liked to ask questions.”

“How often do you talk to him?” I asked, and she laughed knowing that wasn’t the question I wanted to ask.

“I talk to him three or four times a day,” she answered, “he called me this morning, woke me up and everything.”

“Oh,” I said blushing slightly. I wondered what he told her, but since they seemed close I figured it was everything.

“Now what was your other question,” she said, placing her elbow on the counter then resting her head on her hand.

“Why did you skip your semester?” I asked and I saw her eyes narrow, but she was still smiling.

“Boyfriend drama,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I got too attached and he never was.”

“You seem okay now,” I said and she sighed.

“Yeah,” she offered, “by the time I was ready to go back it was too late so now I’m here.”

“It will fly by,” I offered and she studied me for a moment.

“So he said something about you seeing him later on tonight,” she whispered, leaning closer to me.

“He did,” I said hoping my smile didn’t falter, but when I looked at her I saw that she caught on to something. I was starting to notice that neither one of them was easy to hide things from.

“He told me you likely went straight home and washed his number off your hand,” she said, glancing down at my hand resting on the counter.

“I did, not going to lie,” I said and I was surprised when she snickered. I felt myself relax when she did. I wondered if she was about to tell me not to hurt her brother or she would cut my balls off. It would be something I could picture Adam saying to any guy that Lexi dated.

“Give him a chance,” she said, “as annoying as he is, he has a big heart.”

“I don’t doubt that,” I said instantly, hating that I was an only child. I had no one to protect and fight for me. To fight with and make up ten minutes later, because the fight was so pointless and nearly comical to begin with.

“And it gets boring around here without a friend,” she said, glancing around the coffee shop. “So, want his number?”

“Would he be mad if I didn’t call him?” I asked and this time her smile faltered.

“He’d be disappointed,” she answered, reaching for an ink pen. “But he expects you not to call him too, so maybe you can surprise him.”

“Maybe,” I said and she pulled the cap off the ink pen then grabbed a napkin. I watched her jot down his number then she slid the napkin down the bar to me.

“Like I said, it’s boring here without someone,” she said, sighing. “I’m not going to tell you to call him, he’s a big boy, he’ll understand.”

“But,” I said when she fell silent.

“But I’m going to mind my own business,” she said, sticking her tongue out at me. “Your first shift is over, get out.”

“Alright,” I said, glancing over at the clock. It was just about six o’clock and I would be late if I decided to meet him if I didn’t hurry.

“Don’t be a stranger,” she said, “oh and we really are hiring, but I’d expect you to actually work next time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I answered as I pulled off the apron and handed it back to her. She folded it and stuffed it back under the counter. She gave me a short wave when I reached the door and looked back at her. Smiling I opened the door, jumping slightly at the bell that dinged then stepped out onto the sidewalk. Shaking my head knowing that I was going to rush home to shower just to come back here and meet him again.