Good Guys Finish Last - 10. Chapter 10

Waking up with Derek snoring would have been annoying to me if it hadn’t been that I almost lost him the day before. I looked at the clock and fought against the urge to try and go back to sleep so I got up and went down the stairs. The electricity was still off and with the little early morning light coming from the window I grabbed the phonebook and with my cell I called the company and told them that the check was in the mail. Then I wrote the check stuck it in the envelope and was about to walk out of the house until a loud crack of thunder shook the house. I hadn’t noticed that it was raining. I hated the rain during the summer when I wanted to be active. I was thinking about taking Derek to the local water park just so I could have a better reason for staring at him all day, but now I put a bright yellow raincoat on over my bare body and ran out to the mailbox. I fell in the mud on the way laughing at myself as I put the slightly damaged envelope into the mailbox. Walking back I noticed that Derek was laughing at me from the door with his arms crossed standing in his underwear as well. I rolled my eyes then jogged up the stairs onto the porch where I wrapped him into a hug much to his dismay. He had stopped laughing, but didn’t struggle to get out of my grasp until I let go and he held his arms away from his body and his lips lightly flicked as I noticed his nipples hardening and goose bumps starting to form on his skin.

“You’re going to pay dearly for that.” Derek muttered breathlessly as he tried to control a shudder.

“That’s what you get for making fun of me.” I retorted playfully then he looked down.

“Well you’ve scraped your knee and it’s bleeding so we need to go in and get that taken care of.” Derek said causing me to look down and following him into the room. It hadn’t started burning until he grabbed my knee as I was sitting on the sink. He positioned himself in between my legs.

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of this myself.” I said as he grabbed the Peroxide and some paper towels.

“Yeah, but I want to help you.” Derek countered then poured some of the Peroxide over my scraped knee and it caused me to flinch and take in a breath.

“I thought this shit wasn’t supposed to hurt.” I groaned as he bent down and blew on it laughing slightly.

“Big ol’ basketball star can’t take a little boo boo.” Derek joked causing me to kick him in the ass with my free leg.

“Shut up.” I ordered lightly, “What do you want to do today?”

“I want to learn all there is to learn about you.” Derek answered still blowing on my knee which had stopped hurting.

“I thought we’d do that gradually.” I said remembering our conversation that night, “I mean it was you that said that we were going to do that, I though am all for it.”

“Yeah well people can change their mind.” Derek countered standing up and looked at me casually. “I think I want to know everything about you now, I mean after I’ve been between your legs a lot.”

“Shut up!” I groaned pushing him away and he laughed as I threw a towel at him completely embarrassed. “You’re a little boy, you know that?”

“So.” He shrugged then pulled me off the counter of the bathroom and pulled me close to him. “I didn’t get to do this, this morning.” His face then moved towards mine and our lips met and I could tell with that kiss that he had kissed other men before this. He was used to it and I was still trying to find out what works, I wanted to keep trying though.

“So your cousin knows you’re here.” I said after we broke the kiss and he looked confused.

“What cousin?” He asked and I smiled.

“Sarah.” I answered him and his eyes widened.

“Sarah lives here?” He asked blinking slightly. “I haven’t saw her since she was little.”

“Yeah, she was my homecoming queen.” I added, “Are you hungry?”

“No, but I am ready for bed.” Derek answered, we were still standing facing one another with our arms around us pulling us together.

“Yeah, take a cold shower while I cook us some food.” I stammered blushing as his hands slid down to cup my ass. He busted out laughing and looked around before settling down to look at me.

“Well I want to see you turn water into whine and cook with out electricity.” Derek said and I frowned.

“Yeah, this will never happen again.” I sighed leaning against the counter wondering why the hell we were still in the bathroom.

“It’s ok.” Derek offered smiling, “The last thing that would be on my mind would be the electric bill.”

“Yeah.” I agreed, “So you said you wanted to know me.”

“I did.” Derek responded the led me to the bedroom. I was starting to object when he shoved me on the bed, but then he turned and started rummaging through his bag for clothes.

“God we barely know one another and you’re moved in.” I whispered staring at his ass while he was bent in front of me.

“I can always move back.” Derek said turning around and catching me looking at him. “But maybe you would like seeing me around at least.”

“Yeah, well, no I don’t want you to leave.” I responded turning to look somewhere else as Derek got dressed. It was the first time that I could remember him being dressed and I not. I felt uncomfortable, but he sat down beside me and when I tried to stand and get dressed he put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me back down on the bed.

“I have something to show you.” Derek announced as he pulled his bag over and reached inside it and pulled out a picture of a guy.

“Who is that?” I asked taking it from him as he handed it to me.

“That would be the reason I’m down here.” Derek answered frowning. “The real reason.”

“Were you with him?” I asked frowning, he obviously moves on fast.

“Yeah.” He answered carefully.

“How long were you two together?” I asked as he took it from me and placed it carefully back into his bag.

“We were together secretly for a year then when his parents got suspicious he started dating a girl named Elizabeth.” He answered almost coldly. “I was pushed to the back of his line then.”

“I’m sorry.” I offered not knowing what else to say. I was conflicted with what he told me. I didn’t know if I should be mad that he kept it from me or if he lied to me when he left the first time. I was afraid that he was still feeling things for that guy in the picture. The guy in the picture was cute and I was instantly comparing myself to him.

“Don’t be sorry, what is there to be sorry for?” Derek asked smiling at me. “He dumped me and when he beats off to gay porn late at night I’ll be sleeping next to you thanking him for doing what he did.”

“I came out to my friends after you left.” I said quickly. I wanted automatically to be better than him in his eyes.

“How’d that go?” Derek asked curiously.

“I should have done it years ago.” I answered rolling my eyes. “I mean they pretty much had me figured out anyway.”

“Yeah, good friends do.” Derek said then laid back on the bed.

“Are we not ever going to get up and do anything?” I asked laying back with him.

“Do you want to get up and do something?” He asked propping himself up on the bed and looked at me.

“What are we doing here, again?” I asked carefully, the last time I asked he ended up leaving me. “Are we friends that happen to be fooling around or what?”

“I think it’s safe to say we’re getting to a point that we’re not just friends.” Derek answered easily, “But if you want to stop what we’re doing and completely analyze it then that’s fine.”

“No, let’s just see where we get to.” I said and he nodded agreeing with me.

“So you and Sarah was hot shit in high school right?” Derek asked and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, sadly we were.” I answered laughing slightly as I stared up at the ceiling. “I had girls wanting to date me and Julie wanting Sarah to grow a third nostril or something.”

“Julie jealous?” Derek asked laughing slightly.

“A little.” I answered then propped up on my elbows. “Do you want to go see Sarah?”

“No, that’s ok, it’s raining and I don’t want to patch you up again.” Derek answered still amused by my trip earlier. “Even if it was hilarious to see you about eat mud this morning.”

“Yeah, ok fine.” I hissed lightly, “Let’s try to not rub it in so much ok?” For another hour or so Derek and I talked laying down on the bed. It didn’t stop raining though and our electricity was turned on around the middle of the day and I grimaced when I looked in the refrigerator at all the food that had probably went bad when I wanted to fix Derek and I something to eat.

“So grocery shopping?” I asked turning around after closing the refrigerator.

“Yeah, I guess we should if we wanna eat.” Derek answered and I ran up the stairs to get dressed. Then we drove the short distance to the grocery store. I never thought grocery shopping would ever be fun, but the way that Derek kept trying to make me laugh with the way he handled most of the foods that he picked up. Making faces and hassling the butchers over what they defined as a good meat and what wasn’t. I noticed that Derek was planning something for later on as he started shopping with a purpose as time went on. After we finished and went back home and got everything settled back in Derek pushed me out of the kitchen and said that he was going to make dinner for me even though I wanted to since he had been doing a lot of the cooking.

“What’s cooking?” Julie asked after walking through the door completely unannounced.

“I thought your parents wouldn’t let you out if it was raining?” I asked amused at how she was dressed in a skirt and heels.

“We’re going to a party tonight. Why wouldn’t they let me out if it was raining?” Julie asked shaking off her umbrella before shutting the door.

“A party?” I asked looking at her. “Who the hell are you?”

“What?” Julie asked then walked over to peek into the kitchen where she was hit with a towel causing her to step back into the living room. “Just because we haven’t gotten out and partied doesn’t mean that it’s completely off limits.”

“Is everyone else going to be there?” I asked wanting to keep in touch with them now that they knew who I was.

“Matt, Rick, and Becky are coming, yes.” Julie answered then I heard Derek setting the table in the kitchen.

“I don’t know if I’ll be there.” I stated in a low voice. “I don’t know if I want Derek at a party.”

“Why the hell not?” Julie asked narrowing her eyes. “Just because you and him are gay and practically married doesn’t mean that you two have to hide out in here all the time.”

“Julie!” I hissed shaking my head. “We barely know one another please.”

“What?” She responded then turned to look at the kitchen. “Are you afraid that he’s going to leave with some closeted guy at the party?”

“Um, no. It’s just how we met was at a hospital.” I answered and she looked confused, “He was dropping off his friend after they drunk too much.”

“Oh, so you think he could be wild?” Julie asked then Derek cleared his voice from living room entrance.

“If you’re finished with your gossiping, dinner is ready.” Derek announced causing us both to blush and stand up.

“Sorry.” I apologized then was gently pushed by Julie who followed me into the kitchen neither of us meeting Derek’s eyes as we passed him.

“So what were you two talking about?” Derek asked sitting down at the table beside me. “Obviously it was me, but what about me?”

“Um, it was just how we met.” I said shifting in my seat. “This looks amazing.”

“What about the way we met?” Derek asked smiling over at me.

“Just ask him if he wants to come to the party with us tonight Charlie.” Julie ordered as she grabbed her fork ready to eat dinner and looking at me expectantly.

“Well Derek do you want to go to the party?” I asked and he started laughing slightly.

“Well I don’t know.” Derek said looking at me in a way that I couldn’t read. “Can you trust me enough for me to go or not?” I heard Julie cough a few times causing me to turn around and look at her shaking her hand in front of her face with her eyes watering and her face reddening.

“Julie are ok?” I asked standing up and she nodded her head.

“Yeah, um, just swallowed awkwardly or something.” She replied gasping for breath. “Derek please come, you get to meet our friends.”

“Ok.” Derek responded then started eating his food. It was good and I wondered how he got to be so good at cooking. If I got through dinner without burning myself or half the food then I’d be proud of myself.

“It better be an inside party or it would be rained out.” I said after looking out the window. It was a terrible day, but it had been a dry couple of days so we needed the rain. Even if it spoiled my plans for us today.

“So I tried to call you earlier today and I couldn’t get through.” Julie said causing me to look at her.

“Yeah, I forgot to pay the electricity bill and they cut it off.” I responded shrugging. “I paid it this morning.”

“Well at least your father is going to pay them from now on.” Julie said still not believing that he would do that. I didn’t think he would either, but I’ll see in a few days and if something shuts off I could have something else to blame my father for. I was hoping he’d do this for me though. To restore some faith I had in him.

“So do your friends know about me?” Derek asked after taking a drink of his tea that he made.

“No, they don’t know about you.” I answered frowning that I hadn’t said anything about Derek living here. “You moved out the morning I met them again.”

“Oh.” Derek responded frowning slightly. “I’m sorry about that.”

“You should be.” Julie added quickly causing me to turn to her and give her a look that told her to stop being so outspoken.

“No, you had your reasons, I mean you didn’t do anything wrong or anything. I mean you had every right to leave and I think it was good because I think I…” I babbled.

“Ok, I think he gets it.” Julie interrupted kicking me under the table and rolling her eyes. I had wanted to sit down with Derek and talk to him about that sometime today, but then I thought about what he told me. I was being too careful and polite with things that I needed to let go and stop acting like he was a guest and start treating him like a friend. Even though we did agree this morning that we were more than that, but not much more. There was so much that I didn’t know about Derek that I wanted to.

“Well Julie will you finally let your boyfriend come out with you?” I asked curiously and she blushed slightly.

“He isn’t my boyfriend, not really.” She answered quickly. “So no, don’t expect me to bring him.”

“What’s his name again?” I asked and she frowned then started eating again. “You don’t know do you?”

“Yes I know!” She snapped through a full mouth. “It’s just there’s three of them.”

“You’re dating three guys at once?” Derek asked amused.

“No, I wouldn’t call it dating.” Julie answered casually.

“Well I guess it’s nice having a varied dessert selection.” I joked and she slapped my arm then stood up grabbing her purse.

“I will see the two of you at the party tonight.” She huffed shaking her head. “Good day!” Then a few seconds later I heard the door shut then open and shut again. I started laughing with Derek looking on until he started laughing with me.

“I never would of thought she’d be that loose.” Derek said and I looked at him before I started laughing again.

“Yeah, that’s what happens when parents shelter their children too much.” I responded shrugging, “I wonder who they are actually.”

“So do you think Sarah will be at the party tonight?” Derek asked curiously.

“Yeah probably.” I answered before I stood up and gathered up the dirty dishes. He stayed at the table and watched me clean up after dinner. I would have made him sit down if he started to, but I could tell he was thinking about something and I didn’t know him well enough to push to get answers. I never did that with people, I always thought if they wanted to tell me something that they would.

“I’m not out to my parents.” Derek said uneasily as he finally stood after I was finished.

“Neither am I.” I said looking at him from the other side of the kitchen. “So do you want to stay home then?”

“No.” Derek answered, “I mean you really want to go and Julie and you wanted me to meet your friends and stuff.”

“We have all summer to meet them.” I offered drying my hands with a towel. “If you’re not comfortable I understand, because I’m not either.”

“I’m fine, we can go.” Derek responded shrugging and offering me a smile. I could still tell that he wasn’t really wanting to go and just saying that he would because Julie and I were excited about that. I wasn’t going there to show him off or anything. I didn’t have anything to be showing off. Derek and I were friends that were starting to care about one another. Or at least I was starting to care about him, I wasn’t sure what he thought or felt. Even if he said that we were getting to the point where we’re not just friends.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to go.” I said studying him and when he walked over to stand in front of me I didn’t know what to expect.

“We’re going to this party tonight.” Derek countered stepping closer and leaning against me lightly kissing my cheek before stepping back. “So what do you want to do until then?”

“I don’t know?” I asked, “What do you want to do?”

“Well I want to go swimming.” Derek answered and I looked out the window.

“It’s still raining.” I countered looking at him.

“Well it isn’t like it’s storming so we don’t have to worry about lightening or anything.” Derek responded grabbing my hand. “Have you not ever went swimming in the rain?”

“No I like to be in doors when it’s raining.” I answered shaking my head. “Why are you dragging me towards the door?”

“Because we’re going swimming.” Derek urged still holding on to me even when I weakly started to struggle.

“I’m not dressed for swimming.” I argued and he stopped to look me over.

“Well then I suggest you take your pants and shirt off if you don’t want to get those wet and come on.” Derek stated then let go long enough to take his pants and shirt off before he opened the door and winked at me before running down the sidewalk and diving into the pool while I watched him amused. I looked over at the stairs leading up to my room wondering if I could go change into some swimming trunks then I looked down at the pile of clothes on the floor of the kitchen then outside to where Derek was looking at me expectantly.

“Oh you’re nuts you know that?” I asked yelling out to him while I started stripping and running down to the pool. I realized that I had white underwear on and I was blushing at the thought of it as I dived into the pool right beside him. The rain was significantly colder than the pool water which caused me to stay low in the pool with just my head visible.

“Isn’t this fun?” Derek asked moving closer to me.

“Yeah.” I answered then dunked him under the water holding him under the water for a few seconds.

“You’re dead!” Derek growled after surfacing and I turned and started swimming away from him. The pool was small and didn’t leave me much room to get away from him. When he grabbed my foot and pulled me back to him I expected to be dunked, but he grabbed the back of my head and kissed me backing me up against the side of the pool rubbing my side and shoulders with his free hand.

“I thought you were supposed to be getting me back for dunking you.” I whispered after he broke the kiss looking at me.

“Well I figured I’d get something good from you first.” Derek responded then he pulled me away from the side of the pool before he picked me up and dunked me under the water. He went under himself and we started wrestling in the water coming up for air when we needed it. I didn’t know how long we were actually doing it until we heard Julie screaming from inside the house.

“Shit. What time is it?” I asked as we got out of the water. It was still raining, but it wasn’t as hard as it was before.

“I don’t know.” Derek answered as we walked up to meet Julie walking out the back door dressed for the party.

“What the hell are you two doing?” Julie asked putting her hand on her hip while holding up her umbrella.

“Nothing.” I answered walking behind Derek as a shield. I didn’t want her to see me in my white underwear. “Could you make yourself useful and hand me my pants?”

“Sure.” She answered amused as she entered the door and came back out holing up our pants. “I leave you two while you get decent.”

“God I hate her timing.” I huffed causing Derek to laugh as we leaned on one another to get dressed. When we entered the kitchen Julie was grinning from the table then tapped her watch.

“Looks like we’re going to be late.” She stated looking us over. “You two have fifteen minutes to get a shower and dressed.”

“It’s a party why do we have to be there at a certain time?” I asked annoyed at her pushing me.

“Oh, it’s just a surprise party for Becky and Matt and they’re due back from their date soon.” Julie answered then pointed to the bathroom. “So boys get the show moved into the shower.”

“Julie!” I groaned then walked up to the bathroom with Derek following me. We entered the bathroom together and we took a quick shower. I was comfortable with being naked in front of him as long as I thought of this as being just like a locker room. After the shower we went into my room and got dressed. I was watching Derek and he was quiet after Julie arrived to take us to the party.

“Does this look ok?” Derek asked standing after tying his boots. He was dressed in a lime green and white polo and khakis.

“Yeah.” I answered after studying him. “It’s just my friends, ok?”

“I’m ok, really.” Derek responded, “You need to stop asking me though.”

“Ok.” I said laughing slightly.

“Hurry your asses up!” Julie ordered from the bottom of the stairs.

“We’re coming damn.” I snapped sighing.

“Well you two look sexy.” Julie announced when we walked down the stairs together. She had a camera with her and she took our picture before ushering us to her car. Me and Derek piled into the back seat. Her car was small and I always hated riding in it.

“Who is all going to be there?” I asked curiously, “Since you didn’t say what kind of party it was earlier.”

“Everyone from our class is going to be there pretty much.” Julie answered as she took off in the direction of town. “Becky and Rick’s mom is throwing it so they’ll be there so sorry kiddos no drinking.”

“Is that what you two were talking about earlier?” Derek asked looking at me frowning slightly. “You said you were talking about how we met.”

“Um, yeah.” I answered after thinking about whether or not to tell him.

“So you’re happy that there aren’t going to be any beer there.” Derek responded in an unreadable tone. “I mean since you can’t trust me.”

“That’s not it.” I countered crossing my arms. “Well maybe it is, but it’s not that big of a deal Derek.”

“Not anymore now that you know there isn’t going to be anything to worry about.” Derek snapped in a controlled voice.

“Calm down Derek.” Julie ordered looking at us through her rearview mirror then returning her attention to the road. “It has nothing to do with not trusting you we just don’t know how wild you are.”

“I’m not.” Derek hissed glaring at me.

“And we’ll have a lot of time to get to know one another ok?” I added carefully. I didn’t want to piss him off or make him feel like we’re judging him.

“I don’t know about that.” Derek countered looking out the window.

“Now don’t be like that.” I groaned putting my hand on his leg. “I’m sorry.”

“He was my friend, but it wasn’t like I was trying get him drunk or wanting him to.” Derek said still looking out the window. “So next time you can just ask me before you start talking about it.”

“Ok.” I stated then Julie parked the car at Rick’s house where most people already were at.

“We’re here so please try to look happy ok?” Julie asked turning to look at us. “I’m sorry too Derek.”

“It’s ok, you both owe me.” Derek responded smiling then opened the door and got out of the car leaving Julie and I.

“Well this is going to be interesting.” I sighed and she smiled and nodded then we both got out and joined Derek who was waiting for us.

“Damn it who the hell invited her?” Julie asked noticing Sarah’s car parked next to ours. It was the same car as Julie’s but a different color.

“She did go to school with us Julie, I think she’s welcomed here.” I answered shaking my head. “I think it’s time to stop this stupid rivalry already.”

“Well if she’d stop throwing herself at you it’d be ok.” Julie huffed crossing her arms.

“Are you talking about Sarah?” Derek asked smiling slightly.

“How’d you know?” Julie asked not answering the question.

“She’s my cousin.” Derek answered and Julie blinked slightly.

“Well it seems like every Lawrence wants to get into your pants Charlie.” Julie joked causing Derek to blush as we walked up the driveway. When we entered the house it was crowded. Rick and Becky lived on the less cramped side of our town. Their home was small, they didn’t need a lot of space since it was just Becky, Rick, and their mom Rebecca.

“Derek?” Sarah asked as soon as we entered the house, which caused Julie to roll her eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Sarah?” Derek asked looking her over. “You’re blonde.”

“You look so different too.” Sarah added smiling. “Come here.” Watching the two of them hug was nice even if Julie was about to explode watching Sarah become the center of her world all over again.

“How’s your mom? Derek asked curiously as the two of the walked away leaving me and Julie.

“That attention whore.” Julie huffed before she started dragging me in search for Rick and everyone else.

“They haven’t seen one another since they were little.” I defended weakly, Julie’s opinion of Sarah will never change.

“Well go steal him away from her so you can introduce his hot ass to Rick, Matt, and Becky.” Julie ordered a little louder than what I would have liked her to do.

“Julie!” I snapped glaring at her. “Learn to control yourself a little will you?”

“What?” Julie asked innocently then turned to find Rick, Matt, and Becky talking to one other.

“That mouth that’s what.” I answered causing her to smile and shrugged before leaving me to stand there in the middle of the living room. She told me to go find Derek and I didn’t want to pull him away from Sarah after not getting to see her that much, but I also wanted to be next to him during this whole thing to make sure he’s ok. He didn’t seem too fond of meeting people that I knew. I walked into the next room hoping to spot Derek, but it was crowded and when I didn’t see him in the kitchen I started getting a little worried. I also didn’t see Sarah and I was starting to think that the two of them have left. Derek wasn’t too happy with Julie or me before we entered the party and maybe he was avoiding me.

I then stepped outside finding him and Sarah talking on the front steps. I didn’t want to interrupt but Sarah noticed me and stopped what she was saying to look at me. Then Derek turned to look at me as well and I felt out of place. They had matching unreadable expressions and I wondered what they were talking about until I stepped out on the front porch with them.

“Hi Charlie.” Sarah greeted standing up and walking up to me kissing me on the cheek. It was strange for her to do and I thought she was just putting on a show in front of Derek. She took my hand and intertwined her fingers in mine. Derek stood as well and they both were smiling.

“Did I interrupt something?” I asked looking down at Sarah.

“No, just a little catching up.” She answered shrugging, “Right Derek?”

“Yeah.” Derek said, “Just seeing how much our moms still hate one another.”

“Oh, well do you want to come in, Julie made me come look for you so that I could introduce you to my friends.” I said looking down at Sarah’s and my hand wondering if she was planning on giving my hand back to me any time soon. I would hate to start trouble by having Sarah next to me when I return to Julie and everyone.

“I thought you two weren’t friends?” Sarah asked and I blushed remembering our conversation at Tommy’s house.

“Really, not friends?” Derek asked crossing his arms and smiling at me.

“Well yeah, I was pissed when I met Sarah at the party, but no Sarah I lied to you, me and Derek are friends.” I answered them both then she looked over at Derek then back at me.

“Oh.” Sarah stated in a low voice. “You two are um right?”

“We’re what?” Derek asked and she blushed then shook her head.

“You’re seeing one another.” Sarah whispered looking at the both of us.

“Not exactly.” Derek responded and I looked at him, “But we’re getting there.”

“Well good maybe then I’ll actually get to see more of the both of you.” Sarah responded, “Since you’re my cousin and you’re staying with Charlie.”

“Yeah, that’d be great.” Derek agreed and I offered her a small smile before we all returned to the party.

“Well boys I’m going to avoid Julie and go find Meg and Angie, call me sometime and we’ll go out and do stuff.” Sarah announced then walked away and I was relieved that she was smart enough to avoid Julie even though they both normally like the confrontation.

“There they are.” Julie said pointing us out to Rick, Becky, and Matt who were still standing in the spot I left them.

“Hey.” I greeted and they all hugged me and then let me go. “This is Derek.”

“Hey.” Derek greeted extending his hand waiting for it to be shook, but then they all greeting him the same way they did me causing him to go rigid and Julie and I to laugh. The party didn’t last that much longer as Rick and Becky’s mom ushered the guests out of the house so that she could get some peace and quiet. They invited us back tomorrow to watch Matt and Becky open their gifts they received from family and friends over their engagement and future wedding.

After Julie dropped me and Derek off at my house and we entered the house I heard Derek sigh and I followed him to the couch. He looked tired, but also it looked like he had something running through his mind so I sat down and waited for him to tell me what it was. He had been quiet on the ride over and I was starting to wonder if he was ok. I found myself worrying about the people around me more now. I was afraid of losing them because I had lost everyone that I cared for most once. I would always have Julie, but she couldn’t fill many of the voids that I had. I could never replace that lost feeling that I had for my mother. I wouldn’t want to. I lost all the hope and respect I had in my father and with what he promised I hoped he would restore that with his new promise. A promise I let him make. If he broke it, it’d be my fault entirely and I didn’t think I could deal with that again.

“If something pisses one of us off I want it to end as soon as we walk upstairs to your room ok?” Derek asked snapping me away from my thoughts.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked carefully and he looked over at me.

“No, I wasn’t ever mad at you not really.” Derek answered reaching over and rubbing my leg. “I just want us to always to be willing to forgive if that happens.”

“Have you done something?” I asked curiously. I didn’t want to be surprised by anything.

“No,” Derek answered laughing slightly. “Let’s go to bed I’m beat.”

“Yeah.” I sighed as I stood and he followed me up to my room.

“So before we go in are we ok?” Derek asked stopping me.

“Yeah.” I answered him then he walked past me and into the room. Then we stripped down to our underwear and got into bed. Turning off the lamps and feeling him snuggle up against me was something that I could get used to very fast. It wasn’t long after we laid down that I drifted off to sleep lost in a powerful new feeling,