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    Krista
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Good Guys Finish Last - 15. Chapter 15

Waking up to a loud knocking on the door momentarily made me forget where I was. When I stood and scratched my stomach I looked outside and it was early out. The room was cast in a blue and when I peered through the window I could see McBride standing out front and I sighed remembering what had happened. I then walked into the kitchen to the front door and opened it.

 

“Good morning,” he said looking me over.

 

“Not really,” I said and he smirked. He was drinking a coffee from McDonalds and I grimaced when the sun popped out from behind the fog and clouds.

 

“Well get ready, you can’t be late,” he ordered and I left the door open and walked over to my bag and grabbed a change of clothes.

 

“I’ll be out in a minute, going to the bathroom,” I said letting him know before I did anything. Police officers made me nervous and I didn’t want him thinking that I was planning something. I was just doing this and getting the hell out of here. After I was dressed I walked out and joined him on the front porch. I locked the door, but I kept the spare key with me by slipping it into my front pocket.

 

“We’ll be helping volunteers build homes for the underprivileged today,” he said smiling, “if you do good work I’ll let you go back home.”

 

“Really?” I asked smiling.

 

“Yeah,” he said, “let that be your motivation.”

 

“Are you allowed to do that?” I asked looking at him. His eyes were hidden behind dark large framed shades so it was difficult to read him.

 

“Well it’s summer, I was young once, and it seems you have more problems waitin back home for you,” he answered and I followed him to his car. He opened the back and I slid in, again inside a police car. At least McBride wasn’t difficult to be around. I knew I still had to listen to him, but at least he wasn’t pushing me around like I thought would happen.

 

When we got to the place there were a lot of people there and there were a lot of small projects going on at the same time. They were building what looked to be four houses on a small side road. It would take them a while to do and they all looked happy to be there. An older man with a close trimmed graying beard walked up to the car and McBride put the car in park then got out. He walked over to my door and opened it and I unbuckled my belt and slid out of the car too.

 

“Hey Charlie, I’m Bill,” the man greeted holding out his hand. I shook it and he smiled at me.

 

“This is Bill, he’s the team leader of these projects, he will be the one to tell me if you’re deserving of one days work or two,” he said nodding in his direction.

 

“Ok,” I said studying Bill to see if he was going to be difficult.

 

“He’ll tell you what all you need to do,” McBride said then closed the door. “I have to get back to work.”

 

“If he’s any trouble, I’ll call,” Bill said and I frowned.

 

“Oh, I don’t think he will be,” McBride said then Bill smiled and motioned for me to follow him.

 

“You’ll be doing a lot of heavy lifting and when you’re around here you will be wearing a hardhat,” Bill explained then handed me the hardhat to put on. I just held it, but when he stopped walking and looked at me I put it on.

 

“Sorry,” I said and he just nodded his head and started walking again.

 

“This will be hard work if you’re not used to it, but don’t be afraid to ask and don’t try anything big by yourself, we’re all here to help one another out,” Bill said, “have any questions?”

 

“No,” I answered and he handed me a tool belt and I put it around my waist.

 

“Today is supposed to be extremely hot so the Gatorade stations are on both sides of the site,” Bill said, “if you get dizzy don’t be afraid to take breaks.”

 

“Ok,” I said then Bill walked up to a tall African American man who was holding up a framed side of the house.

 

“Nick, this is Charlie, your new help,” Bill introduced is, Nick only glanced in my direction.

 

“Hey man, take my spot for a second,” he said and I thought he was talking to Bill, but when he didn’t move I held my hand up to my chest and he nodded his head looking frustrated already. When I stepped up behind him he slid out and I took his position holding up the side. I was already starting to sweat and it didn’t take it long for the piece to start feeling heavy.

 

“Nick is the basketball coach and a teacher at the high school down the road, I put him in charge of you,” Bill explained and I looked over my shoulder at Nick.

 

“I’ll be over on the other side with the pulley system so that we can put this thing into place,” Nick said, “welcome aboard Charlie.”

 

“Thanks,” I said and then I was left to hold this up with the other volunteers around me. People were talking, but none of them knew me so I tried not to listen to what they were saying. The only thing I was aware of was my arms starting to burn and my shoes slipping in the loose dirt.

 

Then suddenly the wall moved forward and I about fell with the release of energy. I heard people laughing at me as they held the wall still and it was slowly moved into an erect position. I kept hold of it until it was supported and nailed into place, only letting go when everyone else did.

 

“Charlie, go help them with the other side that goes to the front of this house,” Nick ordered and I looked over as the wall was being lifted off the ground. They were all laid out and being lifted one by one to be nailed to the completed parts of the house. Picking up the piece was more difficult than holding it into place and I didn’t think I would be able to hold out all day. I have never done anything this difficult in my life as my group of people lifted it then held it up while Nick helped the second team working on this house with the pulleys.

 

“So um, how long do we do this?” I asked looking down the line of people straining along side me.

 

“All day,” the men closest to me answered, “I’m Oliver, I’m with the church.”

 

“Oh,” I said offering him a strained smile, “well I won’t be much help here, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

 

“Well all we do is help with the heavy stuff,” he said noticing that he was around my age, “we let the people with experience handle all the important jobs.”

 

The rest of the day was just like this, we held up parts of the wall, done a lot of heavy lifting. As the day went on the more strained and tired I become. I had to take breaks through out the day to hydrate myself. I took off my shirt during the heat of the day; it was soaking wet and uncomfortable anyway. I had bruises on my arms and legs from being clumsy. My skin was always sweat drenched and I could smell myself start to stink. I also slowed down the people around me sometimes when I made mistakes or wasn’t strong enough to do my part. They were patient with me though and none of them seemed to care that I was there because I was in trouble. I wondered if people were told my story before I got here, but arriving in a police car probably wasn’t the best entrance.

 

Nick wasn’t pushy and he was patient with me. He tried to teach me how to use the pulley system when he thought I was too tired to do the heavier jobs. It didn’t work out though so he taught me how to use the nail gun and I finished the day doing the nailing. Bill wasn’t hard on me at all through out the day. He did make me take some breaks when he thought I over done myself. We had an hour for lunch and McBride surprised me by bringing me a Subway sandwich and I was glad that I met the nice people here, but I also kept to myself. I didn’t want to tell them my life story and I don’t think anyone wanted to hear it anyway. We were all working hard to get the goals set for the day done.

 

I started getting nervous when we started cleaning up the area and the temperatures were getting cooler with the setting sun. The sun burned my skin and my muscles pounded painfully and I knew I’d be sore for a while and hoped I didn’t have to do this again tomorrow. Even if overall I felt alive and accomplished, things Mom wanted me to feel. Knowing that made it all worth it and if I had to, I would come back and work.

 

“Charlie, come here a minute,” Nick ordered, he was standing next to Bill so I grabbed my shirt it was dried by the sun and I took my hardhat off and slipped it back on. I grimaced when it scratched its way down my burnt shoulders and back.

 

“Do you need anything?” I asked after I was standing in front of them.

 

“We think you did your fair share of work today,” Nick said smiling at me. He and Bill both looked just as tired as I was.

 

“Thanks,” I said.

 

“So we’re going to tell Officer McBride to let you off the hook,” Nick said and I felt relieved.

 

“Great,” I said smiling and shaking their hands, “it’s the best news I’ve heard all day, but today was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time.”

 

“That’s good to hear Charlie,” Bill said, “it’s nice knowing young people get something out of a good hard days work.”

 

The sound of a car pulling up behind us stopped the conversation and I turned around to see Officer McBride parking the car. When he killed the engine and stepped out he walked up to where we were.

 

“Well Bill, what’s the report?” McBride asked looking me over, “glad to see you in one piece Charlie.”

 

“He was one of the hardest workers here sir, so I think we’ll hand him back over to you,” Nick said.

 

“Well congratulations Charlie you’re free,” McBride said and I wanted to scream and do my embarrassing victory dance but I thought better of it.

 

“Thank you,” I said, “bye Nick, Bill.”

 

“Bye,” they both said and I opened the door to the back seat of the police car and slid inside. McBride said his goodbyes to them then I watched him walk around the car and get in.

 

“You know, you could have rode up front,” he said looking at me through the cage separating us. I just shrugged and leaned my head back my muscles starting to hurt worse now that my body was cooling off. After McBride and I exchanged quick goodbyes he left and I was alone again. Something that I didn’t like really, and I still had a long drive ahead of me. Back to face my father, the anger stirring inside me all over again.

 

I slipped the key out of my front pocket and I unlocked the door. I cleaned up any messes I found through out the condo missed from the night before. Then I packed up everyone’s things and put it all in the back of the car. Then I put the key back into its hiding place under the center board of the porch. It was dark when I started the car and started my drive back home.

 

It was late getting home, but the lights were still on when I got there. Julie was also parked in my spot and I grimaced getting out of the car. The ride had made my body stiff and every step I took I dreaded. They hadn’t heard me arrive and I opened the door to an empty living room. The kitchen was also vacant and when I looked out the back I saw the both of them outside sitting on the back patio table. They had been in the pool and when I opened he back door they both jumped and looked at me.

 

“Charlie, what the fuck?” Julie asked standing up. They both rushed me but I held up my hands.

 

“No, I’m sore and my skin burns,” I said and they both stopped. I walked back inside and they followed me in.

 

“What’ve you been doing?” Julie asked when I didn’t answer her first question.

 

“I had to do community service,” I answered slowly sitting down at the kitchen table sitting straight up to keep my back from touching the hard wood on the back of the chair.

 

“You look like you feel like shit,” Derek said sounding concerned.

 

“What did you have to do?” Julie asked she was looking over my sun burned arms grimacing.

 

“I helped a volunteer group with building a few houses,” I said suddenly feeling tired now that I was back home. The stress of it all was coming back to me now that the high I got from helping out wore off.

 

“I’m sorry I left you,” Derek said shaking his head, “you had to go through all that alone.”

 

“Yeah, we tried to get your Dad to send them money all night and he wouldn’t,” Julie said and I looked down at my blistered hands. There were some that hadn’t popped.

 

“He said he wasn’t gonna send any,” I said, “he said I had to own up to it.”

 

“The asshole,” Julie hissed, “now look at you, but I am going to head off and give you two some alone time.”

 

“Alright Julie,” I said offering her a smile, “goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight Julie,” Derek said and she bent down to kiss my forehead but then sniffed and took a step back.

 

“Damn, I know it’s going to be painful, but dear you need a bath,” Julie said, “but goodnight, see you in the morning.” She walked through the kitchen and out the front door then.

 

“Do you need anything?” Derek asked standing up, he walked over and I watched him fill a glass with water. When he returned to the table he placed it in front of me and I took a few drinks of it.

 

“I need a bath,” I answered and he smiled.

 

“I wasn’t going to say anything about you stinkin up the place though,” Derek said and I laughed.

 

“Because you knew Julie would,” I said and he smiled quickly then looked down at the table.

 

“I was going to stay with friend, but then Julie showed up so we crashed last night,” Derek said and I sighed.

 

“My house is your house too Derek,” I said, “ok?”

 

“Alright,” he said, “want to go shower so I can put some lotion on you?”

 

“Yeah,” I said then he stood and pulled my chair out of me and I stood. I followed him up the stairs slowly. We both got naked then and he started adjusting the temperature on the shower.

 

“Test that out and see what you think,” he said and I put my arm under the spray of the shower. It burned slightly, but then my skin got used to it so I stepped on in. Derek followed me and he let me stand under the spray of the shower. The salty taste of my sweat hit my tongue then I reached up and whipped the water out of my eyes as I stepped towards Derek. I leaned into him and he kept his hands to his side but tilted his head and we kissed.

 

“I missed you,” I whispered then he kissed me again.

 

“Turn around and I’ll wash your back,” he said and I smiled.

 

“Use your hands, a washcloth would be hell,” I said and he laughed slightly then I heard him opening the shower gel and I closed my eyes with anticipation. When I felt his soap slick hands slide across my shoulder I shuddered then Derek moved up and rubbed one hand across my neck. He massaged my muscles while he went along and had to reapply the soap from time to time. Nothing felt better today though and I let myself relax. He moved on to the back of my legs and then my ass.

 

“Turn around,” he whispered and I turned around letting the water wash off the soap as he started massaging my chest and stomach, that wasn’t as burnt as the rest of me. After he was done with the soap he put some shampoo on his hands and rubbed it into my hair massaging my scalp. I hadn’t gotten a hair cut for a while so my hair was longer than usual. When I rinsed my hair I stepped out of the spray and I took my position behind him and I washed him off with the same gentleness he done me.

 

When we got out of the shower he patted me dry and dried himself off. We walked the short distance into our room and I smiled when I saw that all of his bags were put away. They were no longer in the middle of the floor and I looked around at all of the new stuff in my room. Both of our things mingling together gave me a sense of commitment and love.

 

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” I said turning around to look at him.

 

“Yeah, decided to stick around a lot longer than I first planned,” Derek said offering me a smile, “so might as well make myself comfortable.” He walked over and pulled out one of the drawers and I saw that he had put his underwear in with mine. After Derek put on some boxer briefs that happened to have been mine when I studied them I walked over and grabbed a pair and put them on too. He left the bedroom and returned with the lotion.

 

“Where do you want me?” I asked and Derek laughed.

 

“If only I could hear that every day of my life,” Derek said, “I want you to lay down on the bed on your stomach.”

 

“Ok,” I said and followed his orders. I grabbed a pillow and put it under my head and when I was still he joined me on the bed. He sat down beside me and I shuddered when I felt the cold lotion drop onto my back. Derek started spreading it out across my back. Deeply massaging it into my skin, he was loosening up my tightness as well and for the first time today I felt comfortable and I shut my eyes letting him go to work.

 

“Am I doing this right?” Derek asked and I nodded my head and let out a moan.

 

“You know what, Derek,” I said and he stopped rubbing my back for few moments, “today I felt like I made my Mom happy.”

 

“How so?” He asked and I smiled thinking about it.

 

“I just know she’d be proud of me,” I answered, “I didn’t let what Dad did get to me and I felt really good about all the work I did knowing that someday someone who needs the house would be living in it.”

 

“So you’re not mad at your Dad?” Derek asked and I nodded.

 

“Hell yeah I am,” I answered, “but not for the experience I had today. Just for not loving me enough to bust me out of jail.”

 

“I don’t think he did it because he didn’t love you,” Derek said.

 

“Even your parents busted you out,” I said, “and you said you didn’t have a good relationship with them.”

 

“Let’s not compare and contrast our parents Charlie,” Derek said sounding stern. When I looked back he offered me a quick smile then he moved down the bed and took hold of my left foot and started rubbing it. “It’ll ruin the night.”

 

“Yeah, but tomorrow I’m going to…”

 

“You’re going to relax,” Derek interrupted, “cool down before you talk to your Dad.”

 

“He abandoned me in the prison,” I argued then Derek took hold of my other foot and started rubbing it. Over all it was making me feel a lot better.

 

“I know,” Derek said rubbing my ankle with his thumb.

 

“Where did you learn to give damn good massages?” I said changing the subject. I didn’t want to ruin the night like Derek said and I found myself getting defensive when there was nothing I could have done to change the past couple of days. Dad made his decision and I could confront him later if I wanted to.

 

“In prison,” Derek answered and we both laughed.

 

“Fuck you,” I said reaching up I grabbed the pillow and threw it at him. Derek crawled up and lied beside me. He gave me back my pillow and we looked at one another.

 

“You know I’ve never felt more in love with you then I do right now,” Derek whispered reaching up and rubbing his thumb down my jaw line.

 

“Really?” I asked blinking to clear my eyes and releasing the tears.

 

“Yeah, when we were going through all that this weekend I realized how close I was to losing you,” Derek answered and I noticed that he was crying as well, “then I thought how empty things would be with out you.”

 

“You know I’d be lost without you,” I said reaching up and grabbing hold of his hand, “and I’d give everything I had left to keep you with me.”

 

“So we’re in this for the long run?” Derek asked and I nodded my head then he leaned forward and kissed me. Then we stared at one another lost in it all. My heart was pounding, but I felt relaxed. Neither of us could stop smiling and I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I knew I was loved.

Copyright © 2010 Krista; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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I read the last two chapters together. I prefer this version of an ending. The alternative version is so cruel.

I read this story because of a compelling story you are writing in the present time about another high school basketball player who had to go down before he could go up. I think it will end on an optimistic version with justice served well.

The title worried me and as this story progressed I became even more worried that Charlie's character flaws--his nemisis-were taking him down to a destructive ending. Derek seemed too good to be true. I worried he even killed Lucy to tie Charle more to him. Was he the sociopathic person played by Matt Damon in the Talented Mr. Ripley? I was wrong--very wrong. Charlie's conflct with his dad added more pain and worry, though.

Charlie seemed to be so self-destructive and overly pessimistic. The man who exemplified the view that a pessimist was a man who when he walked into a room and smelled flowers looked around for the coffin. I thought he needed to get away from bad influences and be around good ones he accepted a helpful and reinforced his good qualities.

I stopped reading the story, but could not keep away and had to find out how you ended it. You gave us two serious plausible endings. Thank you.

In this version , Charlie stayed away from his dad ( who could only hurt him) and said he would only contact him later, Charlie valued his community session, realized that the love his mother felt for him was renewing and that Derek really loved him.  Charlie had proof and Derek was a good person who loved him. Both good guys might have a great relationship in college soon.

I am impressed by this story as it turned out and your characters and that you gave us eventually choices and two endings. I liked the version in which good guys don't finish last.

 

 

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5 hours ago, scrubber6620 said:

I read the last two chapters together. I prefer this version of an ending. The alternative version is so cruel.

I read this story because of a compelling story you are writing in the present time about another high school basketball player who had to go down before he could go up. I think it will end on an optimistic version with justice served well.

The title worried me and as this story progressed I became even more worried that Charlie's character flaws--his nemisis-were taking him down to a destructive ending. Derek seemed too good to be true. I worried he even killed Lucy to tie Charle more to him. Was he the sociopathic person played by Matt Damon in the Talented Mr. Ripley? I was wrong--very wrong. Charlie's conflct with his dad added more pain and worry, though.

Charlie seemed to be so self-destructive and overly pessimistic. The man who exemplified the view that a pessimist was a man who when he walked into a room and smelled flowers looked around for the coffin. I thought he needed to get away from bad influences and be around good ones he accepted a helpful and reinforced his good qualities.

I stopped reading the story, but could not keep away and had to find out how you ended it. You gave us two serious plausible endings. Thank you.

In this version , Charlie stayed away from his dad ( who could only hurt him) and said he would only contact him later, Charlie valued his community session, realized that the love his mother felt for him was renewing and that Derek really loved him.  Charlie had proof and Derek was a good person who loved him. Both good guys might have a great relationship in college soon.

I am impressed by this story as it turned out and your characters and that you gave us eventually choices and two endings. I liked the version in which good guys don't finish last.

 

 

Hi!

I'm glad you muddled through the story to the ending. My first couple of stories are very roughly written. I was Sixteen and didn't know what I was doing. So they're a bit of a grind and a test of perseverence to get through. I haven't read them in over a decade myself and I honestly don't plan to. So I'm a little bit rusty on what all this story even has in it, I vaguely remember a beach trip? But that's about as far as I go.. lol. The two endings, I do remember, because the first one didn't go over well with anyone. It seemed too abrupt and cruel that there was a bit of a backlash from it, so I wrote the secondary ending shortly after. 

If the stories weren't so old and what, 'got me started' on here as a GA author, I would probably remove them. This one and Something Unexpected, but even Roommates had issues, grammar, pacing, etc. They were written between 2003 - 2006ish? I want to say.. I don't know. I know I was still in high school at the time. Then GA upgraded their archives and story system, so the stories appear younger than what they are and I think that surprises new readers/members who choose to read, Something Unexpected or Good Guys before they read my newer stories. The difference in quality and overall appeal is just overwhelming. So I do a little cringe when I get a comment or see someone reading these stories. lol. 

Maybe I can write a do-over series on all three.. :P Or at least the ideas within them, just to see if I can do it better, with an improved skillset at my disposal. (I won't, but you never know what boredom will turn into) 

Thank you for leaving a comment and to be honest, finishing the story itself.  :) 

Edited by Krista
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You wrote this at 16 ! I am impressed . It does not seem like the work of a younger writer. I also do not focus on grammar but the main characters and story line. I am grateful you listened and provided a new ending. BTW, Casablanca as we seen it now uses the alternate ending with Ric losing the girl to the resistance leader. The screening with the girl staying with him disturbed the test audiences.

You certainty have progressed and improved.  A do-over with the basic ideas might be terrific, if you have the time and interest. But right now, I hope you can complete Ridley with any revisions you feel are helpful.

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