Soulmate - 3. Summer Again

 

Things didn’t go as planned though. For the few first few months of their separation life for Jeremy and Alex went on much as it did before, they called each other every few weeks and wrote to each other every week.

As June rolled around and summer got closer things started to change though. More time passed between Alex’s letters and his phone calls stopped completely. His letters were always short and he never wrote about what he was doing or why it took him so long to write, even though Jeremy asked in every letter.

Alex’s letters were almost always the same, apologizing for taking so long to write before nearly begging for details on what Jeremy and his aunt and uncle had been doing. Alex seemed to want to know every detail of their lives and always asked Jeremy to write more in his next letter, and he would always end it by telling them he loved them, hoped that he would be able to see them soon, and with a promise to write as soon as he could.

It was a promise he never seemed able to keep though.

As the summer ended and the weather turned colder Jeremy began to wonder why Alex didn’t call him anymore and why his letters were always so short and why he never seemed to answer any of the questions that he asked.

Jeremy knew that his parents were worried too and that several times they had called his Aunt and Uncle and asked if Alex could come for a visit but they never seemed to get any answers either.

As December came and his birthday drew closer Jeremy decided that he wanted to know what was going on.

One night after his parents were in bed Jeremy went downstairs and wrote a letter to Alex. His parents had told him not to badger Alex about it that he would tell them when he could. Jeremy couldn’t wait anymore though, he worried that it was something he had said or done that made Alex seem so…distant.

In his letter Jeremy asked Alex again what was going on and apologized several times for anything he might have done that made Alex mad at him. He told him how much he missed him how much he wished that he could talk to him again or at least get more than one letter a month from him.

Jeremy ended the letter by telling Alex how much he loved him and asked him again to write sooner.

He put the letter into an envelope, addressed it, snuck outside, and put it in the mailbox with the other letter that they were sending Alex. He just hoped his parents didn’t check the mailbox.

Jeremy checked the mail everyday looking for a reply and when it finally got there Jeremy was happy to see two letters in the mailbox, one addressed to him and the other to him and his parents.

Jeremy slipped the one addressed to him into his pocket and took the other to his parents.

The one addressed to the three of them was the most informative letter that they had gotten from Alex in months. He talked about what he had been doing in school and what he was doing in his free time.

That night when Jeremy went up to bed he pulled out the letter that Alex sent him and read through it.

Alex told him first of all that he wasn’t mad at him and that Jeremy could never make him mad. Alex told him how much he missed him and how he wished he could come and see him. He told him that he would be able to write more now and that he might even be able to call him again soon.

In the letter, Alex told him that no matter how long he went without hearing from him that he wanted Jeremy to know that he thought about him all the time and missed him every day.

Jeremy smiled as he read the ‘Love from Alex’ and he folded up the letter and slipped it in his pillowcase for safekeeping.

Over the next couple of years, Alex did write more often and he managed to call once or twice a month. Jeremy was happy over the renewed line of contact but he still missed Alex and wanted to see him.

It wasn’t until later summer of 2005 that Jeremy got his wish. It had been nearly three years since he had seen his big cousin and Jeremy was excited.

Jeremy was sitting outside on the front steps when his dad and Alex pulled into the driveway. Jeremy tried not to seem too eager as he stood up, he wasn’t a little kid anymore after all; he would be twelve in a few months time.

But when Alex got out of the car and smiled over to him, he couldn’t help himself. He all but ran and dove onto his cousin. Given that Alex was nearly six feet tall and a good deal more muscular than he had been when he was thirteen it was easy for him to pick up and spin his eleven year old cousin around a few times before squeezing him to his chest.

“You little midget…you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” Alex said as he set his cousin back on his feet.

“I am not a midget; I’m four feet six inches.” Jeremy replied indignantly.

Alex just smiled and hefted his cousin into the air and put him over his shoulder.

“And I’m five seven Jeremy so you still got some growing to do before you catch up to me.” Alex said as he carried his bag and his cousin into the house.

Alex only put him down when he was in the house and being hugged by his aunt.

“It’s so good to see you again Alex, my you’ve grown quiet a bit.” Beth fussed as she came up and hugged him.

“That’s what happens in three years Aunt Beth. It’s so good to see you guys again though.” Alex replied with a smile.

“Jeremy why don’t you go up and help Alex unpack. It’s such a shame that you’ll only be here for five days.” Beth said as she let go of her nephew.

Jeremy wanted to reach up and take Alex’s hand as he used to do but stopped himself short, he wasn’t little anymore. Jeremy was often made fun of by the other boys he went to school with for being so touchy feely and he didn’t want Alex to think he was being a baby.

“Yes Ma’am.” Jeremy intoned as he took up Alex’s duffle for him.

“You’re lucky mom and dad got a bigger bed than before, you’d have fallen off the bed if not.” Jeremy joked as he tossed Alex’s duffle bag up onto the queen size bed.

“Yea that is good. I’m a bit too big for the bed back home so this’ll be a nice change, even if it is for only a few days.” Alex replied as he sat down next to his bag.

“I wish you were staying longer.” Jeremy said quietly, shifting nervously from one foot to another.

Alex gave a wane smile before he reached out and pulled the boy up onto his lap. He had dearly missed his family, but Jeremy most of all. He hated the fact that he only had a few days with them…and hated even more that this would be the last time for quiet awhile.

“I wish I was too Jeremy. But we can have plenty of fun before…before I got home.” Alex said as the younger boy nestled his head onto his shoulder.

“We’d better.” Jeremy said, and quietly punched his cousin in the shoulder.

Alex hugged Jeremy tight for a few moments before playfully dumping him on the bed and moving to put his clothes away.

Once they were done the two of them headed downstairs to have lunch with his aunt and uncle.

“So Alex tell us what you’ve been up to since we saw you last, you were always a little vague in your letters and calls.” James said as they ate.

Alex swallowed hard and began to go over the story that he had rehearsed on the flight from Texas.

“I’ve been pretty busy, mostly with school. I’ve been working over the summers too and doing some after school volunteering. It’s been a bit hectic to tell you the truth.” Alex gave only a few scarce details but it seemed to satisfy them, even if he did hate lying to them.

“That’s very nice darling, with all that it’s amazing you’ve been able to keep in contact as much as you have.” Beth replied with a tight smile.

After lunch he spent most of the afternoon outside with Jeremy in the backyard playing catch or just chasing each other around. Jeremy often got distracted by just watching Alex. His cousin wore a sleeveless muscle shirt as they played and his skin was tanned a light bronze from the Texas sun…Jeremy found himself watching the way Alex’s muscles shifted and rolled under the skin.

“You’ve gotten so much bigger and stronger since you were here before,” Jeremy said as Alex hefted him into the house that evening before dinner, carrying Jeremy like he was a baby, “Dad has finally started letting me lift weights with him, only little five pound ones though.” He finished sounding a little dejected.

“That’s good Jeremy, you don’t need to star off using big weights; you’ll hurt your muscles that way.” Alex said as he sat his little cousin on his feet in the kitchen.

Jeremy just smiled and nodded.

“I want you boys to go up and get showered, dinner will be ready soon.” Beth said as she stirred a pot on the stove.

“Why don’t you go up first Jeremy, you won’t take as long as me.” Alex said and Jeremy nodded and ran up the stairs.

Once he heard the door close Alex turned to his aunt and uncle, his earlier smiled gone.

“I need to talk to you guys really fast…I thought it would be best to do it without Jeremy here.” Alex said quietly, his tone catching his relatives’ interest.

The three of them moved to the dinning room table and sat down to talk.

“I dunno if mom and Ron had told you or not but I won’t be going back to public school after this year. They’ve decided to send me to some boarding school; it’s also got this summer program. I don’t know what all it’s about but I’ll be there year round.

I know it doesn’t sound so bad but the place is pretty strict, students aren’t allowed to get mail if it’s not from people listed by their parents. I…I’ve asked mom and Ron to add you guys but I don’t know if they will or not…they are pretty adamant that I not have too much outside contact.” Alex said quietly as he watched his aunt and uncles face slowly fall.

“Why on earth are they sending you away? You haven’t been in any trouble have you? Your grades are well aren’t they?” Beth asked and Alex nodded.

“Yes ma’am I’ve got nearly top marks in everything. I haven’t been in any trouble either…I don’t really know for sure why they’ve decided to send me. I’ve asked but…I haven’t gotten any answers.” The last part was a lie…Alex knew good and well why he was being sent away…but he couldn’t tell them.

“I can’t say as I understand…Ron always was a difficult one but I don’t see why he’d send you off.” James said as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I don’t get it either. I just wanted you guys to know what’s going on…in case you stop hearing from me. I’ll be there for about two years.” Alex’s voice was quiet and James reached out and put a hand on his arm.

“Would you like us to tell Jeremy for you?” Beth asked but Alex shook his head.

“No…No ma’am I’ll do it. It might be easier if I tell him.”

After that they lapsed into silence before Alex decided to go up and get ready for his shower, he paused however outside the dinning room when he heard his name mentioned.

“What kind of dreadful woman could Joanne be to send Alex away like that, a year round program? That’s crazy.” Aunt Beth’s voice was high and a little frantic.

“I know honey, I could never see sending Alex away like that, or Jeremy for that matter. If I thought it would do any good I’d call Ron and have a word with him. Sadly though I know all to well that it wouldn’t…he’d probably just come down on Alex for telling us.” Uncle James’s voice was low but it held an undeniable current of anger.

“We’ll just have to try and convince them to put us on the list so he’ll have some contact with people that actually care about him.” Alex had to bite his lip at this, quiet and demure Aunt Beth sounded pissed.

Alex just shook his head and went upstairs. It was really touching how they defended him but it didn’t matter, in a couple of weeks nothing would matter.

After he and Jeremy were cleaned up, the evening went much as it always did when he visited them, dinner, a few movies, and games. Since his last visit, Uncle James had made good on his declaration to teach Jeremy poker.

“You know it really isn’t fair playing against him, he’s a genius.” Alex said as Jeremy once again pulled the small pile of poker chips on the table to him, he had nearly cleaned the three of them out.

“I am not.” Jeremy said as he stacked his newly acquired chips; he was blushing around his ears though.

“To be fair honey, you are above average. You did get bumped up a grade after all.” Aunt Beth replied with a small smile.

Jeremy just smiled and blushed more.

Alex remembered that from the letters he was sent; Jeremy had grasped the material so quickly that he went straight from third grade to fifth.

When the festivities were over Alex and Jeremy went up to bed. The boys parted ways in the hallway after Jeremy gave him a long, and very tight, goodnight hug.

Alex lay in the semi darkness, looking up at the ceiling. The room was a bit warmer than usual given that they had forgotten to open his air conditioning vent until late in the day so he had forgone his usual tank top.

As he lay there, he thought over the first day of his vacation. So much was the same as it had been three years ago but so much had also changed. His aunt and uncle had each lost a little weight and Jeremy had grown so much, he had missed them all a lot.

He was going to miss them even more soon though. He was sure that his parents wouldn’t allow his aunt and uncle and Jeremy to write to him; hell, that was the reason he was being sent away to begin with.

Thinking about it, he didn’t know how he was going to explain it to Jeremy. How was he suppose to explain it to him, explain that he wasn’t going to be allowed to talk to him?

He was pulled out his thoughts by a quiet knocking at his door.

“Come in Jeremy.” Alex called with a smile on his face.

“How did you know it was me?” Jeremy asked quietly as he came in. Like Alex, he too had decided to go without his shirt for the evening. Alex smiled as he took in the slight definition of his arms, chest, and stomach. Jeremy would be very pleased with his physique with a few more years of training.

“The shy little rap on the door.” Alex said as he sat up and patted the bed next to him.

“I didn’t want to knock too loud in case you were asleep, didn’t want to wake you up.” Jeremy replied as he hopped up on the bed next to Alex.

“Well I wasn’t asleep, so what do you need?” Alex made sure to keep his voice casual as Jeremy seemed to be acting a little standoffish.

“Nothing…I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t too hot in here.” Jeremy lied boldly and Alex had to suppress a laugh. The boy may have been a bit of a genius but he was bad liar.

“Nope, it’s not hot in here at all. It’s pretty comfortable actually.” Alex replied with a smile.

“That’s good.” Jeremy said before lapsing into silence.

Alex had to smile as he watched Jeremy look around the room while he absently drew little patterns on the blanket with his fingers. Jeremy had always been so brave and extroverted and here he was now being all insecure and shy.

“Jeremy, do you want to stay in here with me?” Alex asked to put the younger boy out of his misery.

Jeremy smiled shyly and blushed violently, and wouldn’t meet Alex’s eye as he nodded his head.

“We don’t have to cuddle or anything like before…I just want to stay in here with you.” Jeremy said quietly as the two of them moved off the bed so Alex could pull down the thin blanket.

Once the two of them were laying down with the cover pulled over them and the bedside light flipped off Alex decided that this was probably the best time he would get to talk to Jeremy.

“Hey Jeremy, before we fall asleep I need to talk to you about something; something really important.” Alex said as he sat up.

Jeremy followed him up and nodded at him to continue.

“When I get back home this year I won’t be going to school like I did before. Mom and Ron are sending me away to a boarding school; I’ll be there year round almost. Because of the rules of the school I won’t be able to write or call you unless mom and Ron say that it’s ok…and I don’t think that they will.” Alex said quietly, unable to look over at his small cousin as he spoke.

“So…so this is the last time that I’m going to be able to see you…and talk to you.” Jeremy said quietly and the hurt and confusion in his voice made Alex loop over to him.

“Yea…just until I get out of school, about two years or so.” Alex replied and Jeremy nodded.

“Well…well maybe they’ll say it’s ok for you to write to me.” Jeremy said as he lay back down and pulled the covers up around him.

Alex knew that Jeremy was trying to put on a brave front but his tactics gave him away. His eyes were closed far tighter than needed for him to try to go to sleep and his mouth was closed in far too firm of a line and he was breathing hard through his nose, everything spoke of him trying not to cry.

As Alex lay down and got comfortable under the cover, he wanted nothing more than to draw the skinny boy close to him but he respected what Jeremy was trying to do so he held himself in.

“Do you think…that since this is the last time I’ll get to see you for awhile…would it be ok for us to sleep like we did before?” Jeremy didn’t open his eyes as he spoke and his voice was very small.

“I think it would be ok even if I wasn’t going to be sent away.” Alex answered and Jeremy nodded a moved closer to him.

Alex wrapped his arms tight around Jeremy and Jeremy tucked his head under Alex’s chin and held tight.

Jeremy was still every bit the human furnace he had been the last time they bunked together. His bare skin seemed to seep warmth into Alex’s skin. Alex wasn’t surprised when he felt Jeremy begin to shudder and warm little tears hitting his chest. He stroked a hand up and down Jeremy’s smooth back, letting the boy ride out his sadness.

It didn’t take long for Jeremy to spend his bottled up emotions and as his whimpers died away and his shuddering settled Alex bent down and gave the boy a small peck on the top of his head before settling back down and fell asleep.

                                                               *      *      *

Alex’s five days went by far too quickly and for the first time in his visits he considered begging his aunt and uncle to let him stay. He didn’t do it though, he knew that if he tried to stay that the reason he was being sent away would come out…and he didn’t want that to happen.

There was no guarantee that mom and Ron wouldn’t tell them once he was gone anyway but he didn’t think they would. They wouldn’t be sending him away otherwise. So, when Saturday morning rolled around instead of asking to stay he was biting his tongue and waiting for his uncle at the back door.

His aunt and uncle were upstairs, looking for the keys to the car, while Jeremy sat at the kitchen counter playing with his cereal while he played with the necklace baring his name.

An idea came to Alex as he waited and he rushed up to Jeremy, wanting to get it done before his aunt and uncle came down.

“Hey Jeremy…you want to trade necklaces with me?” Alex offered quietly. He wanted to cheer Jeremy up and he thought this plan would work great.

“Why would you want to do that?” Jeremy asked as he turned on his stool to look at Alex.

“Because this way every time you look in the mirror you’ll see my name, and I’ll do the same. That way we’ll always think about each other, even though we won’t be able to talk for awhile.” Alex replied and Jeremy smiled and pulled his necklace off.

Alex took his off too and put it on Jeremy while Jeremy slipped his onto Alex.

“I’m coming back Jeremy, it might take me awhile but I’m coming back. I promise.” Alex said quietly as he put a hand on Jeremy’s leg.

Jeremy nodded before slipping off his stool and hugging Alex tight around his neck.

“You’d better…like you said I’m a genius…I’ll find you if you don’t.” Jeremy spoke into Alex’s neck and Alex laughed.

The two of them straightened up and walked over to the back door together as Beth and James came downstairs.

“It’s time to go Alex.” James said solemnly, he seemed just as depressed as Jeremy and Alex did.

“I know Unc, let’s go.” Alex said before hugging his aunt and Jeremy one more time.

Jeremy ran over to the living room window and watched as his dad and Alex backed out of the driveway, his hand playing with the necklace that bore Alex’s name as they drove off.

                                                               *      *      *

For two years Jeremy didn’t hear from his cousin, two long years without a card or letter or phone call; but Jeremy never forgot about Alex and he never took off the necklace that bore his name.

Jeremy did his best to keep busy though, if he kept himself focused on something, anything; it didn’t hurt as much. It was just after his fifteenth birthday when he heard from Alex in a letter for the first time in two years.

‘Hey Jeremy,

I’ve missed you so much and I’m so glad that I can contact you again. The last two years have been pretty chaotic and it has been tough to deal with but I’ve made it through thinking about you and Aunt Beth and Uncle James.

I’m writing to let you know that I’m doing ok and that I’m going to be getting and staying in touch with you. Don’t try and reply to this letter just yet though, I’m sending it from a hotel.

It’s gonna be a little bit before I can come and visit; I have a lot that I need to do, a lot of things I have to take care of.

I know you’re wondering what I’m talking about…and I wish I could explain. The thing is though that I don’t have the answers, not yet. I promise though that I’m gonna find them and that I’ll keep and touch and come and see you guys as soon as I can.

I’ll write again as soon as I am more settled and actually have a return address to send you.

I love you guys,

Alex’

Jeremy read that letter a dozen times or more before putting it in the box where he kept the other letters that Alex had wrote him over the years; every single one.

Jeremy did wonder what Alex meant but he also knew where he was coming from; Jeremy himself was going through a bit as well. Alex hadn’t been far off when he said that Jeremy was a genius, he had skipped yet another grade and was looking to graduate high school before he turned seventeen.

It wasn’t really that that had Jeremy going though, it was the away the people he went to school with treated it; it was like he was on some weird spectrum. People either wanted his help with their work or they were messing with him because he was smarter, and younger, than them. It seemed like everyone had a motive to be around him, that no one wanted him just for himself.

His parents did all they could to help him out, but there wasn’t a lot that they could do. Jeremy himself tried to get involved with others his own age, so as to find something in common, but it turned into the same situation that he had before; they either wanted his brains or shunned him for them.

On top of his feelings of isolation, Jeremy had something else to deal with, dealing with the fact that he was gay. Jeremy didn’t have a problem being gay, the only way that it bothered him was that it would be another tool for someone to use against him if anyone he went to school with found out.

He had worried a little about telling his parents but when he finally got up the courage to come out to them he realized that the worrying and obsessing he had been doing was completely unfounded.

Both claimed to have realized that he was gay a long time ago and were just waiting for him to come to them. Both of them had hugged him and his dad had gone so far as to give him a kiss on his forehead before asking what toppings he wanted on his pizza.

Telling his parents had done him a lot of good. With their help he was able to find an LGBT youth group that met every few weeks in Columbus, which was only about an hour and a half drive from the little burb where they lived. For the first time in a long time Jeremy had friends that didn’t want to be around him just because of how smart he was.

Though they only met once every few weeks Jeremy was able to keep in contact with his friends through email and txt and once or twice he even went out for a ‘date’ with a couple of the guys from the group, not that anything serious ever happened.

When he first joined the group a lot of people there saw Alex’s necklace they assumed that Alex was his boyfriend. Amidst much blushing though, Jeremy explained who Alex was. One of the girls from the group, Cheyenne, never seemed to believe that Alex was just his cousin and nothing more.

“You mean to tell me that after all the time you guys spent in the same bed together you never did any…exploring?” Cheyenne asked one night the summer before Jeremy turned sixteen.

Despite her rough around the edges attitude and tom-boy fashion sense her and Jeremy were actually the best of friends and since Cheyenne only lived a few miles away they often spent the night at each other’s house.

“Eww god no, Chey. We were only little kids when we first met, six and ten, remember? Back then the only time I ever thought of my penis was when I had to use the bathroom.” Jeremy said as he threw the squishy blue stress ball he was playing with at Cheyenne, who was lying on his bed.

“Penis…seriously? You are such a nerd. Then what about when you were older? Nothing? You were never curious about him?” She asked, tossing the ball up into the air and catching it.

“Of course I was curious about him, even when we first met; Alex was always bigger than I was, stronger and more muscular than me so yea, I was curious. And yea I always liked to be close to him…I was always worried that he might get sick of me hugging and hanging on him all the time but he never seemed to care…actually he seemed to enjoy being close to me as much as I enjoyed being close to him.” Jeremy said quietly to the floor as he sat down in his desk chair.

“I hate to tell you Jeremy but that doesn’t exactly sound like a normal familial relationship. It sounds like you and Alex might have had a thing for each other.” Cheyenne said as she tossed the ball back to Jeremy, and since he wasn’t looking it knocked him in the head.

“Ouch, dang it Chey you could have warned me, and you’re nuts. Yea I love Alex…but not like that. We’re….we’re close.” Jeremy said as he rubbed the place on his head where Cheyenne had hit him.

“If you say so. You guys have known each other since you were kids, slept in the same bed, you just admitted to being curious about his body…and you admitted that you both enjoyed being all snuggly with each other. I’m just saying it seems like there might be some underlying issues you two need to face.” Cheyenne replied calmly as she lay back on the bed.

Jeremy didn’t say anything and after that night neither one of them ever brought it up again. The conversation was never far from Jeremy’s mind though and he often replayed it multiple times…wondering if maybe Cheyenne was right.

                                                               *      *      *

Three years, three long ass years since he had been here, three years since he had seen Uncle James and Aunt Beth…three years since he had seen Jeremy.

Alex sat in his car and looked at the house where he had spent the happiest days of his life. It was early summer and he was looking forward to spending some time with his family before he started school in the fall.

He found it hard to believe that even after eleven years it was still this place that held all his happiest memories.

Alex got out and collected his bags from the trunk before he headed up to the house. He had barely finished the first knock before the door swung open to his uncle’s smiling face.

“Alex my boy…damn glad to see you.” James said as he took one of Alex’s bags and pulled him inside.

Alex let himself be pulled in and guided into the kitchen, all the while keeping a discrete eye out for Jeremy.

“Alex honey it’s so good to see you again.” Aunt Beth said as she came around the kitchen counter and hugged him tightly.

“It’s good to see you again too Aunt Beth.” Alex said as he hugged her back tightly.

“Jeremy’s out with a few of his friends but he should be back before too long.” James said as he took a seat on one of the stools by the counter.

Alex felt a small surge of sadness before he pushed it away and chided himself for being childish. Jeremy wasn’t ten years old anymore, he couldn’t expect him to just sit around and wait for him to arrive…even if Alex had called two weeks ago to ask if he could stay with them for a while and let them know when he was going to be here.

“That’s cool; I hope he’s having fun.” Alex said to cover the pause in the conversations.

“I’m sure he is. He always has fun with Cheyenne and Ramey.” James said with a smile.

“James, be nice. Cheyenne and Ramey are very nice. Now Alex, why don’t you go up and get settled and when you get done come back down and we’ll start catching up.” Beth said with a reproving glare at her husband before turning to Alex.

Alex smiled and headed up to the guest room, which he noticed had been remodeled since his last stay.

Alex put his clothes away in the dresser and then looked around and tried to find out where to store the rest of his meager possessions. He didn’t have much left after two years in ‘school’ and then a year on the road.

After he had been send away Joanne and Ron tossed or sold all of his possessions, what few he had had. Alex had managed to smuggle Jeremy’s letters, the Robin figurine and Jeremy’s necklace with him when he was sent away.

During the year he spent getting his head together and looking for his father he had traveled light, only carrying with him his clothes and his tokens from Jeremy. It had taken him awhile to find his dad but he was glad that he had, it was then that he learned the truth about his mom.

He’d ended up staying with his dad for almost a year, getting to know the man again, working and trying to figure out what he was feeling, and had been feeling for a long time.

He had told his dad everything once he figured it out but far from being upset or disgusted his dad had been happy for him and supported what Alex had decided to do…and told him that he always had a home with him.

After that, Alex had called his aunt and uncle and asked them if it was ok if he stayed with them for the summer till his college classes started in the fall.

Now here he was, he had two months or so to get everything done, plenty of time to do what he needed to do.

With his clothes put away Alex left the letters and his laptop (a gift from his dad) on the dresser and headed back downstairs to spend time with his family.

Even without Jeremy there Alex was happy; sitting and talking with his Aunt and Uncle made Alex smile more than he had in a long time, with the exception of the time he spent with his dad.

“What do you plan on studying this fall Alex?” Aunt Beth asked as she handed him a glass of tea.

“I am not entirely sure to be honest with you. I’m interested in computer technology but I’m still trying to figure it out. I was actually hoping to talk to you guys about that over the summer, to get your opinions.” Alex replied a little sheepishly, he hadn’t fully decided what he wanted to do.

James and Beth were both eager to offer up their suggestions and ideas and Alex absorbed their information to go over later.

“Alex, would you mind helping me get dinner ready. Jeremy should be getting back soon.” Aunt Beth asked him and Alex was more than happy to oblige.

“Thanks for your letters while I was away Aunt Beth, I really appreciated them…they kept me sane those first few months. I’m still curious as to how you got them to me though.” Alex said once they were locked in the kitchen together.

Alex had been shocked as hell his first month away when he received a letter from his aunt. He never asked about it though he just looked forward to another letter every month.

For reasons that she never explained and he never asked about it was only aunt Beth that wrote to him, she chronicled every aspect of life around them in such detail that Alex often felt like he was right there with them.

Even though he never asked about them, Alex always wondered. Something else he wondered about was how much detail she put in about Jeremy. Most of the letters she wrote were taken up with what Jeremy was doing, how he was doing; his life and his friends. At first he figured it was just because of how close the two of them were but after a while he began to get worried and wondered if she had figured him out.

“Don’t you worry about that honey. You’re auntie has her ways.” She replied with a smile as she dumped a load of potatoes in front of him and handed him a peeler.

Alex got the message and got to work on the potatoes.

Even though he was no great shakes at cooking Alex had fun helping his Aunt, it was one of those experiences that he had always wanted to have with his mom but never got.

Just as they were pulling the roast out of the oven they heard the front door open and close.

“Mom, Dad; I’m home. Who’s car is that out in the drive way?” Alex’s heart jumped into his throat at the sound of Jeremy’s voice. It was substantially deeper than he remembered but he would never forget that tone.

Jeremy and James walked into the kitchen just as Alex was setting the table. Alex looked up as they came in and his eyes locked with Jeremy’s and for a second the world seemed to stop.

The bright blue eyes and short cut blonde hair was the same but nearly every thing else was different. Gone was the short and skinny twelve year old that Alex had been keeping in his memory. For sixteen, Jeremy was pushing five ten. He was broad through the shoulders and his long arms were defined with tight, compact muscles. The loose fitting red tank top he wore hinted at a well defined chest and stomach…but also showed that Jeremy still wore Alex’s necklace…just like Alex still wore his.

“Alex…” Jeremy rasped out in disbelief.

“Hey Jeremy.” Alex replied as he set the rest of the plates aside, it was a good thing he did too because the second his hands were free his arms were suddenly full of Jeremy.

Jeremy’s arms were like a vice around him and Alex just wrapped his arms around him and held tight.

“I told you I’d come back Jeremy.” Alex said quietly and Jeremy squeezed tighter.

“What the hell took you so long?” Jeremy said into his neck.

Alex smiled and stood back to look at his cousin, his grip never leaving the younger man’s shoulders.

“Are you grown up enough to use that word?” Alex joked.

Jeremy drew himself up to his full height and gave Alex a cocky grin.

“What do you think Lex, am I grown up enough?” Jeremy asked and Alex nodded.

“Yea I think you are Jeremy.” Alex replied and pulled Jeremy into another hug.

“Well I don’t so don’t let me catch you using it again.” Aunt Beth reprimanded as he and Jeremy finally pulled apart.

“Sorry Mom.” Jeremy said as he ducked his ever so slightly.

The four of them sat down to dinner and Alex took unprecedented delight in the fact that Jeremy sat down next to him instead of the other side of the table as he had expected.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me Alex was coming today, I would have told Chey and Ramey to go to the concert without me.” Jeremy said as the salad bowl was passed around.

“We wanted it to be surprise,” James replied with a small smile, “Plus we wanted to spend some time with him before you could get a hold of him.” At this, Jeremy blushed a bit and looked away.

“I’m gonna be here till school starts in the fall, I think I’ll have plenty of time to spend with all of you.” Alex said and Jeremy’s head snapped up.

“You’re staying here…till this Fall…as in the whole summer?” Jeremy asked and his smile would have split his face in two if it had been any bigger.

“Yep, I asked if I could stay here and spend some time with you guys before school started.” Alex smiled and Jeremy looked like he might faint.

“Jeremy close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.” Beth told her son and they all broke down laughing as Jeremy closed his mouth and shook his head.

Dinner passed relatively quiet after that, but it wasn’t unpleasant. The four of them would joke or talk or ask a random question but mostly they just ate and enjoyed each other’s company.

After dinner was done James and Beth cleared the table to do the dishes. As always, Alex had offered to help but both of them had denied, telling him to relax.

For a moment Jeremy and Alex just sat together in the dining room, neither one knowing quite what to say after being apart for so long. The somewhat awkward and tense moment was broken by the sound of the phone ringing.

“Jeremy phone for you, it’s Cheyenne.” Aunt Beth called from the kitchen.

“I’ll be right back, she probably wants to gossip about something.” Jeremy gave him an apologetic smile.

“Don’t worry about it, we got plenty of time. I’m gonna take a shower, so you can find me upstairs.” Alex replied with a smile as he pushed Jeremy toward the kitchen.

Jeremy smiled at him again before he headed into the kitchen.

Alex just smiled as Jeremy left him and he headed upstairs for his shower. After collecting his toiletries Alex headed to the bathroom for his shower. It might have been vain on his part but as he removed his clothes Alex had to admire himself in the mirror.

The last three years had been good to Alex. He now stood at least six foot tall; he was broad through the shoulders with a thick chest and trim at the waist. He looked a lot like his dad, which he was grateful for.

Without really realizing it, Alex rushed through his shower. As awkward as it was between them, Alex wanted to see Jeremy.

‘You’ve got to play this cool Lex, don’t do anything stupid.’ Alex told himself as he dried off and dressed.

Once Alex was back in his room, he stood at his window staring out at the street below.

He had missed this place, missed it terribly. Just standing there he could recall every visit he had ever made, every meal he had ever eaten, every time he had played in the back yard, every time his aunt gave him the same smile that she reserved for Jeremy, all the times that uncle James included him when he would take Jeremy to the park or a movie….and every time that Jeremy hugged him, cuddled with him or even held his hand.

All these memories stood out in stark detail and he held them close. While he was away for school, he would often run them through his mind, replaying them over and over again, using them against the loneliness he felt.

“It was really unfair of them not to tell me you were coming.” Jeremy’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and made him jump.

“They just wanted to surprise you little cousin.” Alex said as he turned to Jeremy.

Jeremy was leaning against the doorframe, still dressed in his tank top and shorts from earlier, his arms crossed over his chest.

“It was a surprise all right; it was still a dirty trick though, if I had known I would have stayed home.” Jeremy said as he crossed the room and sat down on Alex’s bed.

Alex was torn between staying where he was and moving to sit next to Jeremy. He really wanted to be close to the young man again but at the same time he worried about getting too close.

“They just wanted to surprise you, don’t be too hard on them. Besides, there was no reason for you stay home, I wasn’t even sure when I’d get in. How was your concert, who did you go see?” Alex asked deciding to split the difference between his choices and lean against the dresser.

“No body famous. Chey, Ramey and I have a friend who’s in a band. To be honest they’re nothing special but they got their first legitimate gig tonight so we had to go see them. It was pretty fun though I guess.” Jeremy said as he lay back on Alex’s bed, making himself comfortable.

Alex felt a slight flush reach into his neck and cheeks as Jeremy rested his arms behind his head, exposing his smooth under arms and pulling the bottom of his tank top up a bit.

“That’s pretty cool, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Tell me about your friends though; is this Cheyenne chick your girlfriend?” Alex asked casually and Jeremy actually laughed a little.

“Ramey is cool; his family emigrated here from Colombia when he was young. It’s pretty cool because he’s teaching me and Chey Spanish…but when he gets angry he tends revert back to his native tongue…it’s kind of funny really.

Cheyenne though, no, she’s not my girlfriend, though we have had talked about the possibility of having a kid some day. We met in an LGBT youth group last year. She likes to make jokes about a gay guy and a lesbian having a kid, her parents aren’t the best in the world so she doesn’t think she’d be a good mom but I think she would be great.” Jeremy said happily.

Alex was somewhat shocked at Jeremy’s revelation, he had a feeling that Aunt Beth had wanted to surprise him as well…none of the letters had ever mentioned that Jeremy was gay.

“That’s cool. I think you’d make a good father figure.” Alex replied as non-chalantly as he could.

Jeremy sat up and looked at him, not just looked but also gave him that same kind of look Aunt Beth often gave him, that curious, searching look.

“You’re cool with the revelation that I just gave you?” Jeremy asked quietly.

“Yea, I’m cool with it…I would be a bit of an ass to hold it against you seeing as I’m gay too.” Alex replied smiling as Jeremy’s jaw dropped.

“I…I mean…you…I didn’t think…I didn’t know.” Jeremy stuttered out, his face flustered and confused.

“Yea well I know you didn’t shorty, no one did.” Alex smiled and shrugged.

“Is…is that why you were sent away?” Jeremy asked quietly.

Alex knew that question was coming. In the first letters and emails that the two of them had exchanged since Alex left school, Jeremy had asked why he was sent away and why he couldn’t visit. Alex had always replied that it wasn’t the right time to tell him and eventually Jeremy had accepted his answer.

As much as the question freaked him out, and as scared as he was of the outcome of the situation he knew he had to be honest, he couldn’t lie here.

“Yes…and no…it’s actually kind of difficult to explain…and I don’t know if it will be anything you want to hear. I’ll tell you if you do though, and I’ll be honest. But you should know…it might change how you feel about me.” Alex said quietly, not meeting Jeremy’s eyes.

Jeremy was quiet for a few minutes. Alex knew though, that he was thinking hard, his eyes were moving back and forth as though he were scanning a book or piece of paper for information. He knew this because Aunt Beth had mentioned it in one of her letters.

He didn’t quite understand how it worked but she claimed that when she asked him about it, Jeremy had said it was his way of ordering his thoughts and memories around.

After reading the explanation, Alex started to think that Jeremy’s brain was a messy place to try and venture.

“I’d like for you to tell me…if you can. But you should know though…nothing you can tell me will change anything Lex. It’s always been me and you and it always will be.” Jeremy replied quietly.

Alex smiled at him slightly for a moment before his face became somber again.

“A couple of years ago Joanne and Ron got me a laptop. At the time I didn’t know why because I couldn’t use it to get online or really do anything at all so I just kept it around, played a game every now and then.

It wasn’t until after my visit when I was thirteen that I started to put it to some use. It was after that visit that I started to have these thoughts and feelings…stuff I didn’t think I should be feeling or thinking. I was scared and confused and I didn’t know what do so I created a file on the laptop and used it as a journal.

If I had known that they were checking the laptop every time I went to school or was out of the house I never would have created the file.” Alex’s voice was quiet and he refused to look at Jeremy…which worried Jeremy.

Jeremy turned around on the bed and sat on the edge closest to Alex. He reached up and tipped Alex’s chin up until they were looking into each other’s eyes.

“What did you write about, Alex?” Jeremy asked quietly.

“About…About you. At first it was just about how much I missed you and how much I wished we could have lived closer to each other. I wrote about how much I liked being around you and being close to you.

Then I started writing about other stuff. I wrote about how it made me feel when you sit with me or when we would sleep in the same bed together. How it gave me this warm feeling in my chest.” Alex’s closed his eyes and lifted a hand to tap his chest.”

“I always loved it when you were close to me or when we slept together. Love, that’s what I came up with. That I was in love with my ten year old cousin.”

“It was never sexual, not once Jeremy, I swear. I never thought about that. I did wish though that I was ten again or that you were thirteen…so that I didn’t feel so sick and guilty.” Alex kept his eyes closed tight as he spoke, unable to even think about looking at Jeremy, afraid of what he would see on the younger man’s face.

Jeremy stood there though in awe and disbelief, unsure of what to say or do…wondering if it was all real.

“Eventually though, I made peace with it. I knew that I would never, could never do anything to hurt you…it wasn’t any kind of sexual feeling so I figured it would be ok…I was wrong I guess.

Like I said though, I didn’t know that they were reading it, not till I came home one day from an errand to the grocery store. I found them sitting in the living room waiting for me. I was so scared because they looked so mad at me.

I wasn’t in the door five seconds before they started yelling and screaming at me. They didn’t let me explain or even talk; they screamed insults at me, calling me a faggot and a pedophile. I tried to tell them, to explain that it wasn’t like that but when I shouted over them, trying to get their attention Ron back handed me across the face…I guess he did it a few times because everything went black and my next memory isn’t until the next morning.” Alex stopped here; trying to push it all away again…it had happened so long ago…it shouldn’t still hurt him like this. He squeezed his eyes tighter though, to stem the flow of tears that threatened to spill out.

Jeremy though was angry and upset in equal measures…how dare that pudgy old bastard put his hands on Alex. Carefully he took Alex’s face in his hands and ran his thumbs over his cheeks.

Alex knew he shouldn’t but he let Jeremy cradle him but the contact after so long being away from the boy felt so good. Jeremy had to have understood him; he was too smart not to understand. He didn’t know how Jeremy felt but the fact that he wasn’t running from the room screaming gave him the courage to open his eyes.

Jeremy’s eyes were locked on his and Alex could read so many things whirling around their depths.

“It was after that that they started to limit my contact with you. They wouldn’t let me call or send letters, they also kept me locked down at home, I couldn’t go out without one of them, and they took me to school and picked me up.

I didn’t understand at first what they were doing. After that initial attack the whole me being gay thing didn’t seem to matter.” Alex said quietly, still meeting Jeremy’s gaze.

“If it didn’t matter why didn’t they let you contact me?” Jeremy asked as he pulled Alex over to sit on the bed next to him.

“I didn’t understand at first either…They didn’t seem concerned that I would do anything to you or anything, they seemed more worried that I would tell you or your folks.

After your letter though they said that all of you were getting suspicious and that they couldn’t risk you guys snooping around so they started letting me contact more, but they always checked my letters before they would send them.

I figured it out after awhile though. They weren’t worried about me doing something to you or even what you guys would say they were worried that somehow I’d leave and come here, as if your parents could accept a screwed up adolescent into their house.” Alex said bitterly as he turned away.

“Don’t say things like that, it isn’t true.” Jeremy said quietly, making Alex laugh bitterly.

“It is true Jeremy. I was in love with a nine year old boy, that’s the definition of screwed up. Hell I wouldn’t have blamed your parents for telling me to never come around again if they had found out.” Alex’s voice was quiet as he spoke to the floor.

Jeremy didn’t like hearing Alex talk that way so he moved closer to the bigger man and put an arm around his shoulder. Alex shuddered slightly but didn’t pull away.

“Mom and dad wouldn’t have done anything like that Lex. They’d have believed you when you said that you wouldn’t have hurt me or anything. If they had known what you were going through they would have found a way to help.” Jeremy said quietly but Alex just shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter now. I suppose I could have slipped a letter out without them knowing, like you did; but I was too scared to do it. I was afraid of what everyone would do if they found out about me.

After awhile I just learned to deal with it. I still looked forward to your letters and calls but I stopped trying to get them to visit. More than once when I asked about it I got my ass kicked by Ron.” Alex laughed bitterly again as he spoke and Jeremy felt another surge of anger.

“I’m so sorry about everything that happened, I wish we have known.” Jeremy lay his head down on Alex’s shoulder as he spoke.

Alex, though he still looked at the floor, wrapped an arm around Jeremy’s waist and pulled him close.

“It doesn’t matter now, it happened and it’s over with.” Alex said in a defeated sort of voice.

They sat there quietly for a little while, just listening to each other breath before Jeremy plucked up his courage and spoke again.

“Alex…how do you…how do you feel about me now?” Jeremy asked nervously.

Alex pulled himself out of Jeremy’s grip and went over to look out the window.

“I’ve spent a year trying to figure that out. Well that and looking for my dad, but mostly thinking about you. I still love you. I think I always will. I tried for a while to change it, tried for it to be someone else…but it never happened. Nothing I ever felt for anyone else compared to what I felt for you.

I don’t expect you to feel the same way, or to even react at all really. I’d really like to stay here though so if you can manage not to make a huge deal out if though I’d appreciate it.” Even though he was standing by the window, Alex had his eye closed tight so he didn’t see Jeremy coming up behind him.

“How…how would you want me to react…would you like it if I felt the same way you did?” Jeremy made sure to keep his voice quiet, not wanting Alex to know he was behind him.

“I…I would love it if you felt the same way I did. It would be like a dream come true. It wouldn’t have to be sexual in anyway either, not unless you wanted it to be. What I feel still doesn’t have anything to do with sex…just being close to you…holding you, sleeping with you; maybe being able to kiss you.” Alex’s eyes were still closed but his reflection smiled.

Jeremy stepped in front of him and reached up and cradled Alex’s face like he had before. Alex felt the warmth of Jeremy’s hands and had to fight back tears, sure he was going to be rejected.

Instead of Jeremy telling him to take a hike or something, he was surprised by a pair of warm, soft lips pressing against his own. Before Alex could do or say anything Jeremy pulled away.

“What would you do if I told you I loved you too?” Jeremy asked quietly.

Alex opened his eyes and stared for a moment before answering.

“I’d…I’d ask you if I was hallucinating.” Alex said hoarsely.

Jeremy laughed and took Alex’s hands and put them on his hips before wrapping his arms around Alex’s chest and holding him tight.

“Does this feel like I’m not real?” Jeremy asked against Alex’s shirt.

Alex just smiled slightly and squeezed Jeremy tight to his chest, nuzzling into the smaller boy’s soft blond hair, bringing back memories of that first night together.

“I didn’t plan on doing it like this, not this early. I was going to wait until I had been here a few days and got settled in. I never though, never thought that you would even feel remotely the same way about me.” Alex all but whispered as he ran his hands up and down Jeremy’s back.

“I guess I’m just a little too inquisitive huh?” Jeremy asked playfully as he pulled away a little but didn’t leave Alex’s arms.

“It’s not your fault. I guess it’s better this way. I…I don’t know how this is going to work between us Jeremy…you’re technically still a minor and I don’t know much about the law in this situation. Plus I’m going to college this fall…and I’m freaking terrified to think about what your parents will say.” Alex said worriedly but Jeremy just smiled up at him.

“I’m not entirely sure either but since I am under seventeen it’d probably be an issue. But it’s like you said…what we have doesn’t have to be sexual…at least not for a while,” Jeremy said with a deep blush and Alex swallowed hard, “ I don’t know where you plan on going to school but maybe…maybe you could stay here.” Jeremy said with a smile.

“I’m going to OSU over in Marion. Do you think your folks would mind me staying here?” Alex asked with a smile.

Jeremy smiled back happily, the Marion campus wasn’t even ten miles from where they lived. Jeremy had visited the campus a while back when he was looking at colleges.

Jeremy though didn’t answer; he stood up on his tip toes and kissed Alex again. This time Alex got the chance to respond. The first kiss was better than Alex had ever thought it would be. It was slow and gentle, just a movement and mingling of lips with a few shy, tentative brushes of tongues together. When Jeremy pulled back though he licked his lower lip and blushed rather deeply.

Alex smiled at the reversal, it used to be that he was the one who did all the blushing and now it seemed as if Jeremy’s cheeks were burned permanently pink.

Alex ran a hand over one of Jeremy’s flaming cheeks before leaning in and giving him a kiss on his temple. As he pulled away, Jeremy leaned against his chest, tucking his head under Alex’s chin.

“Can I stay with you?” Jeremy asked quietly.

Alex thought about it for a second. Jeremy was soft and sweet and beautiful and Alex was definitely attracted to him, and for a moment he was worried he could accidentally pressure Jeremy into something he wasn’t ready for. As he looked down into Jeremy’s bright blue eyes, intent on telling him it wasn’t a good idea, he saw a trace of that childlike innocence still burned in the their depths and it cooled Alex’s heat.

One day their relationship would probably become sexual but it wouldn’t be tonight, or anytime soon for the matter.

“I’d like that a lot.” He replied instead, making Jeremy’s face light up.

It was still early so the two of them went back downstairs; they decided before hand though that they would wait a few days to tell Jeremy’s parents what was going on. Alex was scared as hell about that prospect.

They sat on the couch together and after putting a pillow on his legs Jeremy laid his head on Alex’s lap as they watched TV and talked. The night went by much as their other visits had, talking and catching up. His Aunt and Uncle didn’t ask much about his two years at school, for that Alex was grateful for, and instead directed most of their inquiries at the year he spent with his father.

“He’s a really good guy. I told him all about you guys, he’d like to come out and meet you guys sometime this summer.” Alex told them and both of them smiled.

“That would be great. I would love to meet your dad. If you don’t mind me saying so you must take after him quite a bit…I’ve never seen much of your mother in you and I hope to god that you didn’t pick up anything from my brother.” James spoke with a smile but Alex could see the seriousness in his eyes.

“No offense taken Uncle James, none at all.” Alex replied happily.

As the night wore on Alex caught his Aunt sending little looks in his and Jeremy’s direction, always with that little smile on her face and Alex noticed that she often flicked her gaze to where his hand rested on Jeremy’s chest.

As the clock rolled over to eleven though the four of them headed off to bed. Beth and James both had to work and Alex and Jeremy were eager to have a little alone time.

When they were locked securely in Alex’s room, they slipped under the cover and snuggled up close to each other, just like old times.

“Did your dad know why your mom took off with you?” Jeremy asked, his voice breaking the silence in the semi dark room.

“Yea…mom pretty much kidnapped me.” Alex said quietly and Jeremy gasped.

“You’re joking right?” Jeremy asked a note of disbelief in his voice.

“Nope. You see, it turned out that mom was cheating on my dad and when he found out he planned to divorce her and get full custody of me. When mom found out she went a little nuts and took off with me.

I don’t know why she did it; I think it was probably just to spite my dad as she’s never been the best mother in the world. They never got divorced and so her marriage to Ron wasn’t and still isn’t, legal.” Alex’s voice was calm but Jeremy could still detect the slight note of sorrow there.

“I’m sorry for everything you went through.” Jeremy said as he pressed a kiss to Alex’s chest.

“I’m not; if she hadn’t snatched me and got with Ron I would have never met you.” Alex pressed a kiss to the top of Jeremy’s hair as he spoke.

For the first time in three years Alex slept well, holding Jeremy’s furnace challenging body to him.

                                                               *      *      *

The next few days were a little difficult for Alex. When his aunt and uncle came home from work that evening he and Jeremy had dinner waiting on the table for them. It was over dinner that Alex explained what his mother had done.

“I always knew there was something going on with that situation. I am so sorry Alex.” Aunt Beth said, once Alex had told them.

“I wondered why Ron was always so elusive about your father when I asked. I guess this explains it.” James remarked with a curious look.

“Yea, it was a bit of a shock to me too.” Jeremy piped up.

They didn’t talk about the situation much after that so the rest of the evening was quiet. Before they came home, Jeremy and Alex had talked about telling his parents about them but Alex convinced him to wait, he didn’t want to overload them with too much information. But as they lay in bed that night Alex spoke up.

“I think your mom might have an idea about how we feel about each other.” Alex said quietly.

“What makes you think that?” Jeremy asked, nonplused.

Alex told him about the way she had been looking at them recently and about her somehow slipping letters to him in school.

“I don’t know how she did it but she did and her letters were mostly about you.” Alex said and Jeremy chuckled.

“If anyone could have figured it out it would have been her.” Jeremy said before making himself comfortable on Alex’s chest.

“Does your dad know you’re gay?” Jeremy asked sometime later, it wasn’t late so neither of them were too tired.

“Yea, he knows everything. He encouraged me to come here and talk to all of you.” Alex smiled at the memory.

“That’s good. One less obstacle we have to worry about. I think we should talk to my parents before too long.” Jeremy replied and Alex nodded.

Despite that, it took a few days for Alex to get up the courage to talk with his Aunt and Uncle about the two of them. They waited until Friday evening before they did it. Neither Beth nor James had to work over the weekend and Jeremy figured that it would be the best time.

“Aunt Beth, Uncle James…I was wondering if the four of us could talk?” Alex asked that evening as the four of them stood in the kitchen, working on dinner.

“Of course Alex. You know you can talk to us about anything.” James said distractedly as he chopped up carrots, Alex gulped at the sight of the large chiefs knife he used.

Alex waited until the two of them paused in their preparations and gave them their attention. Jeremy opened his mouth to speak but Alex hushed him, he had decided that it would be better if he spoke…he was the oldest after all.

“I…I should have told you this when I first came here but I was too afraid to. You guys have the right to know though,” Alex paused here and took deep breath, “I’m…I’m in love with Jeremy…and I have been for a long time, at least since I was thirteen but honestly probably before that…that’s the reason I was sent away.” Alex said before launching into the entire explanation of what had happened…several times he had to stop and take a couple of deep breaths and he didn’t think he’d have made it without Jeremy there next to him.

By the time he was done his mouth had gone dry and he had a hard time meeting their eyes but he did manage it, their expressions were very neutral and Alex found himself shaking ever so slightly.

“You guys should know that I feel the same way Alex does, I know I don’t have to tell you but I will anyway…I love Alex.” Jeremy piped up, his voice much smaller than it should have been for his age.

“What about sex?” James asked bluntly, making both boys blush.

“Sex doesn’t play a part in how I feel about Jeremy, it never has and I’m more than willing to wait until Jeremy is of age and ready for any kind of physical relationship. Just being close to him again is enough for me.” Alex was still scared and embarrassed but he managed to meet his uncle’s eye.

The four of them were quiet for a moment and Alex was about to have a heart attack when his uncle spoke up.

“Beth, Jeremy…I need to have a word with Alex please. Can you two wait out in the living room?” James asked quietly as he looked to his wife.

Beth nodded and walked around the counter and took Jeremy’s arm and led him out.

James waited a moment until he was sure they were alone before he spoke to his nephew.

“I’m gonna tell you something Alex that I’ve never told anyone, not Beth or Jeremy. Can I trust you to keep this between us,” James asked and Alex nodded, confused, “When I was ten years old I met a boy named Jeremy Hale, he had just moved into my neighborhood with his parents.

The two of us became fast friends, thick as thieves. We did all the things that two little boys do. We rode bikes, played sports, got dirty, and got into a lot of trouble. Hell; we were inseparable. Jeremy was the best friend I had ever had.

It was a few months before I realized that his dad was beating him. The first time I saw his bruises I was livid. I wanted to find the biggest baseball I could and just beat his old man with it. Jeremy begged me not and cried himself to sleep the night I found out, his head in my lap as I rubbed his arm.

After that I kept Jeremy with me as often as I could. I had him spend the night all the time and kept him from being around his dad as often as I could. It was during all this that things started to change between us. You see, I was a lot like my son when I was a kid, very touchy feely and affectionate. I held myself in more than my boy did when he was that age.

After I found out my friend was abused though that changed…I would always hug and hold on to Jeremy...and what’s more he didn’t seem to care…in fact he seemed to love it.” James stopped here and Alex watched as his uncle wiped a small tear out of his eye.

“You…you guys sound a lot like Jeremy and I when we were kids.” Alex said quietly.

“We were. It didn’t last long though….You see, the more I tried to keep Jeremy away from his dad the more he was abused when he was home…then one day…it got worse.

There was a small creek near the neighborhood where we lived and one day these older kids saw us laying by the water together and started chasing after us and screaming insults at it…I’m sure you know the usual ones, they ain’t changed much in the last few decades.

Anyway, once his dad found out about it…he drug Jeremy home kicking and screaming. I tried to stop him but he hit me across my head and knocked me out…when I came to it was almost dark…I ran home and told my mom and dad everything, because Jeremy had begged me not to tell anyone.

Now my dad wasn’t the most understanding man but when it came to child abuse he was a good person. He went right over to Jeremy’s place to confront his dad, especially since he had hurt me…but it was too late. By the time we got there…” James had to stop here for a few moments; he had tears flowing freely down his face now and a sob was stuck on his throat.

Alex walked over to stand by his uncle and carefully he reached out to hug the older man and was surprised when his uncle stilled his efforts to wipe his tears away and let them fall freely.

When he had calmed himself down some James gently pulled out his nephew’s embrace and finished his story.

“Jeremy’s dad had gotten drunk and beat him, worse than ever before. When we got there he was passed out on the couch…and Jeremy was lying in the corner...bloody and broken. I wanted to run up to him and hold him but my dad held me back and called the cops. Jeremy never regained consciousness and he died in the hospital a few days later. I never got to tell him how sorry I was or that I loved him.

I don’t know if what Jeremy and I had back then is anything like what you and my son have now, I don’t know if it ever would have been either.

I love my wife more than anything, and I’ve never been in a relationship with a man but when I see you and Jeremy together I think about two boys who never got the chance to see if their childhood affection could have ever been more.

I don’t have anything left of him anymore, just a head full of memories, a faded photograph, and his namesake…my son. I’ve known how Jeremy felt about you since the day you left after that first week and if you two are serious then I don’t have any problems with you boys being together. But I warn you if you don’t take care of my boy Alex…I might be forced to do something horrible to you.” James finished his story with a small smile.

Alex stood frozen for the longest time. Not only did his uncle just give him his blessing but he also understood, in a way, how he felt toward Jeremy.

When Alex had regained some feeling in his limbs he hugged his uncle again this time James wrapped his arms around the young man in return.

“I promise I’ll take care of him Uncle James.” Alex said into the older man’s shoulder.

James pushed his nephew up and wiped a couple of stray tears off his face with a smile.

“I know you will Alex. I guess we better call them back in here though before Jeremy has a panic attack.” James chuckled and Alex joined him.

                                                               *      *      *

Jeremy wanted to object to being led out of the room but he knew if he did, it could make things worse in case his dad was already having issues so he followed his mother out to the living room and fell into one of the arm chairs.

As the two of them sat down though Jeremy noted that his mother didn’t look upset at the news, or even surprised; in fact she had a small smile on her face.

“Mom.” Jeremy said quietly.

“Yes dear?” Beth replied as she looked at her son, the small smile never leaving her face.

“What’s with the smile, you’re not about to have some sort of freak out are you?” Jeremy attempted to make it sound like a joke but he didn’t really do it that well.

“I’m just happy for you son, you and Alex. And no I am not about to have a freak out.” Beth replied as she stretched he arms along the back of the couch and Jeremy felt relieved and confused in equal measure.

“So you’re ok with this, me being sixteen and all?” Jeremy asked, he knew he shouldn’t push but it was just his nature.

“Honey you’ll be seventeen in six months. Plus, you have always been very mature for your age so I expect both you and Alex to act responsibly. Besides, I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time.” Beth replied seriously.

“Alex told me about the letters you sent him in school…about how they were nearly completely about me.” Jeremy said and Beth smiled in a self satisfied way.

“I knew he missed you more than anyone else, even if he didn’t say it, so I made sure I told him as much as I could. And don’t ask me how I managed to get the letters to him, that’s my little secret.” Beth said with a smile.

Jeremy nodded, feeling a little bemused.

“What do you think Dad is doing in there?’ Jeremy asked quietly after a few minutes.

“I don’t know but I’m sure that it isn’t anything to worry about. Your father and I have talked about this possibility a couple of times over the years and he’s never been negative. Guarded maybe, but never negative.” Beth answered as she rested a hand on his leg.

“I’m glad.” Jeremy smiled slightly.

They didn’t talk much after that, they just sat there and waited for James and Alex to come out of the kitchen. Instead, though, James’ voice called out to them, telling them to come back in.

Jeremy moved to Alex’s side, who was sitting on a stool by the counter, as soon as they were in the kitchen. As he came up to him he could see the tell tail marks that Alex had been crying, at least slightly.

Alex smiled at the look of indignation on Jeremy’s face, pulled him into his arms, and kissed his cheek.

“I love you Jeremy.” Alex said quietly.

“I love you too Alex.” Jeremy replied, looking curiously at his father.

James just smiled and wrapped an arm around his wife.

“We’d better get back to work on dinner if you boys want to eat before midnight.” Beth said after awhile.

The four of them all smiled to each other before they separated and moved back to what they had been doing.

The smile never left Alex’s face for the entire night. For the first time in a long time he finally felt good, he felt at home.

Later that night as Jeremy lay sleeping next to him, his bare torso awash in light from the streetlamp outside the window, he couldn’t help but laugh a little at how normal it all felt; Jeremy lying quietly in the bed next to him like he had so many other times in the last ten years.

Carefully he ran his hand down Jeremy’s chest, noting that his skin was still as soft and smooth as it had been when they were kids, until it rested over his belly button. Another near silent bit of laughter escaped him when he realized that even ten years later he was still a little obsessed with it, and probably always would be.

“Mmm, what are you laughing about?” Jeremy rasped out as he looked groggily up at Alex.

“That I’m still a little obsessed with your outie.” Alex replied with a smile as he ran his thumb over the odd bump of skin.

Jeremy laughed a little, snuggled closer to Alex, and pressed a kiss to his bare chest.

“You’re a weird one Lex.” Jeremy mumbled as he pushed his larger counter part onto his back and laid his head on his chest.

“Yea but I’m your weird one Jeremy, and I plan on being so for a long, long time.” Alex replied quietly as he ran his hand up and down Jeremy’s back.

Alex had been a bit resistive when Jeremy said he wanted them to sleep with out their shirts on but after several reassurances from Jeremy Alex agreed. Now that he had it though he didn’t think he could ever go back to sleeping without the broad expanse of Jeremy’s skin pressed against him.

“Good, you know it wouldn’t matter if you tried to leave or not…remember, I’m a genius, I’d find you.” Jeremy mumbled into Alex’s skin.

Alex smiled at that, he had been surprised as hell when it got brought up after dinner that night that Jeremy had graduated from high school at age sixteen. He couldn’t go to college until he was seventeen though so he planned to work and study for a year before applying at OSU in Marion so he could be close to home…and be with Alex.

As Jeremy made himself comfortable, head on his chest, arms wrapped tight around his stomach, and his leg resting between both his own, Alex felt…whole.

Alex had heard the term soul mates before but he never believed that they were real until that moment. He tightened his grip on Jeremy and let sleep take over him.

Thirteen years away from his dad, of being stuck with two parents who didn’t really care about him, and two years of isolation from the person whom he loved more than anything in the world…it was all worth for this one moment alone…and the next decade or five he would get to spend with Jeremy by his side. Well, that was just a bonus.

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Well I hope yall liked this story. I dunno if there will be a sequel to this or not, I am thinking about it but I have no clear ideas just yet.

As always I want to thank Lady Rush for her work in editing, she has done a wonderful job. I would love to hear what you think of the chapter/story so please feel free to let me know.