Prophylaxis - 19. Chapter 19

We were about to go through a door as Takashi held me wrapped in a new blanket. This one was soft, fluffy, and much less musty. It was catching more of my blood than I was comfortable with, however. The door just looked like a regular door, into a bathroom, actually. When we stepped through that door, we weren’t supposed to end up in the potty though, we were supposed to end up in the Dark Court of the Unseelie fae. There weren’t even any sparkles or swirly colors. If I hadn’t been so distracted by the pain, I would have been disappointed.

Then we were stepping through.

My stomach dropped and the world twisted around me. I clenched my eyes shut as nausea cramped my stomach, not making my insides feel any better. Takashi’s arms were an anchor around me, keeping me from flying apart. There was a sense of motion, forward as well as a few bumps up and down, like turbulence in a plane. My sense of time was shit, but eventually the motion and the urge to puke on Takashi stopped. I cracked my eyes open to find we were definitely not in the bathroom.

Even before I opened my eyes I could feel the openness of the space. I still wasn’t expecting the cavern I found myself in when I looked around. I don’t know what I was expecting the home of the Unseelie to look like. This was like a huge limestone cave, although I know shit about rocks, I just knew that yellowed clay color of the stone. There was moss growing everywhere with tiny glowing flowers blooming in sporadic bunches. I didn’t see any other light sources, but it didn’t seem like those little flowers were putting out enough light to illuminate the cavern as it was. A little stream ran through the big cave, bubbling happily over and around the rocks in its path.

A trail ran alongside the stream to the far wall of the cavern. An opening was there, shrouded in darkness, leading into another room. From that dim arch emerged what could only be a fae. Her skin was a graying lavender with her hair a few shades brighter and eyes like dark pools. Her dress was gauzy black fabric wrapping around her long thin frame. She stopped and stood, feet bare on a patch of moss, framed by darkness, arms crossed under her small breasts.

Takashi and Riley exchanged glances before slowly approaching her. Me, I continued to be luggage.

“Are you the healer?” Riley asked when we got closer.

Inky dark eyes dragged slowly over us before she answered with a sigh.

“No.” She lifted a long-fingered hand. “He’s resting. You’ll have to wait…” The corner of her mouth curled. “Unless you wish to make it worth his while to interrupt his slumber.”

Takashi growled and bared his perfectly white teeth. “We don’t have time for these ridiculous games.”

“My master was told to heal your little baggage there,” she snapped. “We weren’t told when. My master is weary from others he’s healed this day. Your little friend won’t likely die in a few hours. Let him sit and wait. He’ll appreciate the gift of the healing more.”

“Are healers the same everywhere?” Riley sighed heavily.

“If you mean self-absorbed pompous pricks overwhelmed with a sense of their own importance,” Takashi growled, “then yes, they are.”

The fae woman’s face darkened. “Perhaps it won’t be a few hours until my master can see you. It may just be a few days.” She tossed her head, long hair flipping behind her. “Then you might show more respect and a better attitude.”

She snapped her fingers and a much smaller person came up beside her. It was a fuzzy little man who came up to the willowy woman’s hip. His hair and beard were long and yellow, not blond, but yellow like a daffodil. Living in Iowa City, I’d seen some interesting dyed hair colors, but they tended towards reds, purples, blues, or greens. I’d never seen hair that shade of yellow before, and I had no doubt it was natural. He was dressed all in blue, with a blue hat on his head. The hat resembled a beret, but it was a little different, and I could recall seeing a picture of a man dressed all in Scotts garb wearing a similar hat. There was even a little poofy ball on the top. He was a stocky little man who grinned when he saw Takashi.

“Hello again, kitty-cat.” The man’s voice had a thick Scottish accent and rumbled low and deep from his chest. “Come back to steal cream from my kitchen?”

“Uruisg!” Takashi exclaimed, and there was a name I’d never be able to pronounce without practice. It just sounded like mush to me, ‘oo-roo-shh’, but the blood loss might have been part of my trouble focusing.

“It’s good to see a familiar face, it’s been a while since I was at court.” Takashi said as he walked forward.
The lavender woman rolled her eyes and stalked away without another word. Bitch.

The little yellow-haired man stepped aside for her then turned back to us. “Seems like it’s hardly been a day since you were gone.” The man grinned. “Hardly a kitten anymore, though, are you? All grown up now, not the gangly young’un you were before.”

Takashi just nodded good-naturedly.

“Is this lad the Sift that’s bringing you back to visit?” The little man stood on his tiptoes to peek at me all wrapped up like a burrito. “Looks in some bad shape.”

Normally, I don’t like when people talk about me like I’m not there. He was right though, I wasn’t doing well, and I didn’t have the energy to snark at the guy.

“He is.” Riley piped up. “And it looks like we don’t have a healer for him.”

“And who is this wee firefly?” Uruisg asked with a tip of his head to Riley.

“Riley, this is an old friend, Uruisg.” Takashi said. “He keeps everything from falling to ruins around here.”

“I just keep the goblins and brownies in line.” The yellow-haired man scoffed. “Though the brownies would all turn boggart if they had to deal with the bloody nobles all the time.” He rolled his eyes. “Right, then. You wanting to be shown to your rooms to wait on the blasted healer?”

Takashi shook his head. “Are there still any of the Pyn Moordenaar around?”

“You’re wanting to see a pain thief?” Uruisg’s craggy face lined further as he frowned. “Aye, there are a few about. You sure you wouldn’t rather wait? The thieves’ll see you right away, but they’re a sight more dangerous than some uppity healer.”

“And I’m more dangerous than they are.” Takashi bared his teeth. “If they cross me I’ll make them into sushi.”

Uruisg let out a barking laugh. “Alright then, follow me. Hopefully, they’ll get your lad fixed up without causing too much trouble.”

The little man led us out of the cavern and through a dark passage. I expected more caves after that and was surprised to find myself in a long hall dominated by black granite stones and arches. Ivy with leaves larger than my hand seemed to twine everywhere. I didn’t see any pots or dirt, so I had no idea where it was growing from. Again, the area was illuminated though I didn’t see the light source. Creepy.

I faded in an out as we walked through rooms and halls, some stranger than others. One even showed a night sky, though I’d thought we were still underground. Some rooms were actual rooms, like we were inside a building. Others felt like we weren’t in a building, often caves and caverns, but there were a few grassy spots and I think I saw a pond. It was disorienting being carried and fuck I hurt. It felt like dying. Takashi had been walking, not running, though, so it must not have been quite as dire as it seemed. He hadn’t been freaking out when he was first talking to Uruisg, either. I’d think if I was almost dead he wouldn’t have taken the time for pleasantries with his old buddy in blue.

I didn’t even notice at first when we stopped. It smelled like the ocean. I blinked blearily. The room was very… blue. The floor was tiled in dark blue and the walls in a lighter blue. There were drains set in the floor. A long driftwood table and chairs sat against one wall. The most eye-catching thing in the room was the huge fish tank that filled one whole wall of the room. It looked like a sheet of glass had been fitted to cut off that end of the room and then filled with water. The floor on the inside of the tank was the same as the tile Takashi and Riley stood on, as was the tile on the walls. The only difference seemed to be the large hole in the far wall of the tank. It was easily large enough for a man to swim through. The opening was shrouded in darkness and I found myself wondering what was beyond it, how deep it went.

“You can lay the poor lad on the table or have a seat yourself.” Uruisg told Takashi and Riley. “I’ll call the pain thieves and tell them what you’re after. I’m sure one of them will be showing up right quick after that.” The little man gave a small bow. “I imagine I’ll be seeing you about. If you need me just send word with one of my brownies.”

“Always steadfast and reliable,” Takashi nodded, taking me over to the table. “I’m glad you haven’t changed.”

“Course not.” Uruisg huffed as he walked to the door. “Need somebody around here that can keep things on track.”

The little man left and Takashi sat, still holding me. Riley took the chair next to us. Both of them looked bone-tired. Takashi’s honey eyes found mine.

“You’re awake.” He seemed relieved. “How’s your pain?”

I had to clear my throat before I could speak. “Painful.”

The black-haired man frowned. “Hopefully we’ll have you healed very soon.”

“Are you sure about this?” Riley bit his lip as he looked at Takashi. “I’ve heard things about the Pyn Moordenaar…”

“They aren’t evil,” Takashi told Riley, “just greedy, and I’ve dealt with them before.”

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” I asked much more weakly than I’d have liked. Fuck I was pitiful. I hated being pitiful.

“We’re going to get you healed up.” Takashi said gently. “The healer is being a bastard, I’m not waiting hours or days. I don’t think you’ll die, but you’re getting weak and you’re hurting. The healer is trying to swindle some kind of payment out of us, though he was ordered by the king to heal you, the little weasel. The Pyn Moordenaar can heal you and they can be convinced not to take payment.” The bakeneko cocked his head. “Well, to be precise, the healing will be the payment. They’re called pain thieves or pain takers because they can heal an injury when they consume the pain from that injury. Apparently, it causes a… euphoric effect in the Pyn Moordenaar.”

“They get high off it.” Riley sighed. “And they’ve been known to lure fae in for healing, fix up all their wounds and then start inflicting new ones so they can keep their buzz going, and unless you can breathe underwater they have you trapped.”

The hole and the water behind the glass were starting to make sense as more than a bold decorating move.

“That’s not going to happen.” Takashi growled, squeezing me a little tighter. Ouch.

Riley just raised his eyebrows.

“I told you, I’ve dealt with them before.” Takashi repeated.

I’m not sure what Riley was going to say to that, because he was interrupted by the arrival of a whole fuck-ton of fat black tentacles flooding from the hole in the wall of the wet side of the room. It was a whirling chaos I couldn’t make heads or tails of. Literally, I couldn’t figure out where the head was supposed to be on this thing. It seemed to be all giant squid arms, way more than seemed reasonable. I couldn’t even tell if there was more than one of the things in there.

Takashi stood and approached the glass. He was carrying me, so I went along for the ride. If I’d been on my own feet I think I would have been as far away from the water as possible.

“Is that you, Swartbek?” Takashi asked without hesitation.

The tentacles rolled in some kind of coordinated movement, showing their grayish undersides with large round suckers. I thought maybe I caught a glimpse of the main body between a few of the arms, but it was hard to tell for sure.

“You remember me?” Takashi held me carefully as he spoke.

The tentacles rolled again and I was sure I could see the main body this time. The tentacles seemed to come from all over on the dark body, not just the bottom like an octopus or squid. It was more like a big tentacle mop. The thought made me snort, which I regretted because fucking ouch.

“Then you remember the last time I brought you something you would enjoy.” Takashi continued. “I think you’ll like this one just as well. If you can behave yourself I might be persuaded to let you heal him.” His voice hardened. “But you will only heal, not hurt, or you’ll find yourself missing more than a few tentacles this time.”

The Pyn Moordenaar waved its tentacles again, the pattern looked different this time.

“Ha.” Takashi scoffed. “I think not. You give me your word or we’ll go see the healer. It would be a shame to waste all these injuries. You know he has internal bleeding and burns?” Takashi lifted a brow. “Very painful… but I can see you’re not interested.”

Takashi stepped away from the glass, shifting one arm as he did so. The movement bent my body, making me squeak with pain. The Pyn Moordenaar immediately reacted, tentacles churning the water.

“Interested after all?” Takashi turned back to the glass. “So, you agree? I have your oath?”

The tentacles rolled again.

Takashi nodded. “I accept.”

He approached the glass and I tensed. I could see Riley over Takashi’s shoulder. The fiery little fae had his arms crossed like he was holding himself. He looked worried as hell. I looked up at Takashi, he looked determined. When we were inches from the glass he looked down at me, amber eyes gentle.

“Just try to relax.” He coached me.

Nothing good ever happens after someone tells you to try to relax… Well, except sex, and I didn’t think that was in the cards for me with Mr. Super-octopus-thing. Jesus, I hoped not anyway. Swartbek was entirely not my type.

“You won’t drown.” Takashi continued. “He has a special tentacle for over your mouth that will let you breathe. He’ll make a kind of slime that he’ll spread where you’re hurt. It will heal you and then he’ll clean it off. Just try not to panic.” He pressed his cool forehead to mine. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Takashi looked to the glass. The Pyn Moordenaar had laid two large tentacles against the glass with a wide space between them. That area shimmered and flexed in a way that glass should not.

“Ready?” Takashi asked.

No. Abso-fucking-lutely not. I was not ready to get into a big fish tank with a giant squid creature that wanted to cover me with goo and eat my pain. Nope. Not ready.

But I was never going to be ready, so I said, “Yes.”

And he pushed me through the glass.