The Married Rat - 10. Chapter 10

13

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Ruiz: Hi.

Alan: Hi.

Ruiz: Give me a minute.

[A minute later.]

Ruiz: Can you still hear me.

Alan: Yes.

Ruiz: Type something.

From Alan: Is this coming out as voice?

Ruiz: Yes. Yes it is.

From Alan: Great. And I found ear buds in my desk, so I can type with both hands.

Ruiz: Great.

I find the connection here yet your silence on the phone erotic.

From Alan: Good.

Ruiz: A lot of what you said last night was really great for me.

From Alan: Today’s been even better.

Ruiz: I’m looking forward to pushing myself more next time.

And you pushing me.

From Alan: And not just because you’re willingly naked?

Ruiz: That thing you said at the start last night...

From Alan: You’ll have to remind me.

Ruiz: That you’re an older guy trying to talk me out of my clothes...

You don’t have to talk me out of them.

Just tell me to take them off.

Or take them off me yourself.

From Alan: I’ve discovered that.

I will take them off if we ever see each other.

Ruiz: We have.

From Alan: You know what I mean.

Ruiz: How long do we have.

From Alan: When? Till I see you again?

Ruiz: No. Tonight.

From Alan: As long as you need.

I can stay until you’re finished.

Don’t rush.

Ruiz: When you tell me to use the lube, things will get more intense.

From Alan: I thought you were already using it.

Ruiz: No.

You’d know.

From Alan: Then use the lube. Make yourself happy. Unless it speeds you up more than you’d like.

Ruiz: I’d rather follow your lead.

From Alan: Use the lube.

Ruiz: Ok.

From Alan: Slowly take yourself to where you need to go.

Ruiz: Could we have been in a room this entire time.

From Alan: No. There’s no way I could’ve met you tonight. We didn’t even start till late. And no matter how hot you’ve got me, I’m not going to a hotel.

Ruiz: Is there anything you want me to tell you. Now that we’re taking.

I mean you’re hearing my voice. Yours is electronic.

From Alan: Do your friends know you’re fucking a robot?

[Ruiz laughs.]

Ruiz: I could give you an accent.

A different nationality.

From Alan: Flat American English is fine.

Ruiz: I can’t make the voice as deep as yours.

That surprised me again.

For as little as you said.

From Alan: I do kind of mumble.

Ruiz: You sound normal now.

From Alan: Nothing wrong with that.

Ruiz: And I’m rambling.

Wasting your time.

Can you hear how nervous I am.

From Alan: Don’t be.

Ruiz: This is all new.

Give me a moment.

A moment to clear my head.

From Alan: Take all the time you need.

Ruiz: Thanks.

[He take a minute to silently lube himself.]

Ruiz: Ok.

I’m relaxed.

Much as I’m gonna be.

From Alan: Good.

Ruiz: I may not want to talk a lot.

I told you that.

This is something I usually do alone.

From Alan: Whatever make you comfortable. Anything you need. After you’re done, I’d like to ask you a few questions.

Ruiz: That’s nice and mysterious.

From Alan: I didn’t mean it to be.

Ruiz: It would arouse me to do some of that now.

Answer questions.

Ask me anything.

From Alan: OK.

Tell me when you first knew you were gay.

Ruiz: I don’t use that word.

From Alan: Then tell me when you first realized you were interested in men – in boys.

Ruiz: Hmm.

Boys.

Ha.

It was the paperboy.

From Alan: How old were you?

Ruiz: I don’t know.

I don’t remember.

10.

Maybe.

Maybe slightly less.

From Alan: And how old was he?

Ruiz: I don’t know.

13 or 14.

He was very blond.

The All-American kid.

Shaggy hair.

Heavy on his legs.

He wore shorts a lot.

As soon as it got warm.

And t-shirts.

Not especially tight.

But worn.

Well washed.

Well faded.

Never ripped.

But when he’d stretch, you could see his stomach.

From Alan: Good. Nice memory.

Ruiz: There was no hair there.

In fact, none on his chest.

I once saw him at the pool.

The community pool.

He must have been 16 or 17.

Even I had hair by then.

I got bushy young.

From Alan: Which you don’t seem to appreciate.

Ruiz: Do you.

From Alan: Yes. It’s very different from the smoothness of my wife – of women.

Ruiz: Mine’s too much.

Though it’s only on my chest.

And stomach.

My torso.

Not my back.

Or butt.

But on my legs, yes.

From Alan: As much as the paperboy’s?

Ruiz: Yes.

Only darker.

From Alan: What did you like about him?

Ruiz: Like.

Everything.

Ha.

That he was so different from me.

I kept wanting to touch him.

To feel the hair on his legs.

I always hoped he’d take off his shirt.

When he was delivering in the summer.

Other paperboys did that.

Other guys did that all the time.

But I only saw him that way once.

At the pool.

My family didn’t usually go there.

I was there with a friend.

From Alan: I would’ve thought you’d go more after that.

Ruiz: I might’ve.

Though my curiosity was satisfied.

I didn’t even need to see him naked.

From Alan: Why?

Ruiz: I don’t know.

I’ve never been curious about other guy’s hardons.

From Alan: Probably the reason you don’t watch porn.

Ruiz: Do you.

From Alan: Some.

But I don’t want to risk leaving tracks on my computer.

Definitely not at school.

Ruiz: I could tell he had curly hair.

You know where.

It showed when he came out of the water.

When his suit was pulled low on his hips.

From Alan: Sounds like you watched him a lot.

Ruiz: Yeah.

Especially that one time.

I was afraid it might be only once.

Didn’t realize it didn’t matter.

From Alan: What did he look like?

Ruiz: I told you - the All American boy.

Though he wasn’t especially good-looking.

I mean not like a model or an actor.

Just normal.

A good-looking friend.

Someone you’d want your sister to marry.

From Alan: Or marry yourself.

Ruiz: No, he wasn’t that kind of guy.

The kind I got interested in later.

I don’t think he was very bright.

I could never get him to answer me.

He’d never talk when I asked him a question.

From Alan: You were only ten.

Ruiz: But older people talked to me all the time.

They liked that I listened to their stories.

From Alan: A considerate kid.

Ruiz: They gave me things for it.

Candy mostly.

From Alan: I’m afraid to ask. Did any of the men try to touch you?

Ruiz: No.

These were our neighbors.

Friends.

From Alan: What about the women?

Ruiz: They touched me all the time.

But fussing touching.

Pushing back my hair.

Tucking in my shirt.

It was never sexual.

From Alan: What if the paperboy had pushed back your hair?

[Ruiz laughs.]

Ruiz: I would’ve gotten hard.

And I’m not even sure I could do that back then.

From Alan: Do you remember when that first happened?

Ruiz: Not really.

I remember a wet dream.

But I remember my friends talking about them first.

I kept waiting for mine.

From Alan: You didn’t do anything to help?

Ruiz: I didn’t you could.

I thought they just happened.

From Alan: When did you learn differently?

Ruiz: When the guys started talking about it.

After they had theirs.

When they started doing it themselves.

I tried and it worked.

From Alan: How old were you?

Ruiz: Again I don’t know.

Maybe 6th grade.

From Alan: Twelve.

Ruiz: Probably.

From Alan: You have a great voice, by the way.

This is a whole different level of connection.

Really amazing, considering the state of arousal you’re in.

Ruiz: Thank you.

From Alan: Or maybe because of that.

Ruiz: Thanks.

From Alan: In any case, keep going. This is terrific.

Ruiz: Are you aroused.

From Alan: It’s all I can do to keep my hands on the keyboard.

Ruiz: Applying more lube.

Ask me something else...

(continued)