The Married Rat - 11. Chapter 11

13

(continued)

Ruiz: Ask me something else.

From Alan: What do you want most to happen in a hotel room?

Ruiz: I can just close my eyes and picture it.

From Alan: What?

Ruiz: So many things.

You have me feeling so differently.

Thinking so differently.

Can I just be quiet for a minute. While you talk.

From Alan: Sure.

Sure thing.

Though it’s great to hear your voice.

Again, it makes a connection.

[He hesitates.]

From Alan: Touching you is important.

Very important to me.

Touching your chest to reassure you.

Feeling the hair there.

Letting you know how much I like it

Since you’re so protective about your chest.

That’s why I’m glad you’re naked now

Fewer defenses.

At least, no physical ones.

You’re as open when you talk as when you’re writing.

But as you said.

Differently.

Ruiz: Ohhhhhh.

From Alan: Good.

Keep going.

Slowly.

You still want me to talk.

Ruiz: Yes.

I wish it were your own voice.

Ohhhhhh.

[Alan unmutes the phone and begins to quietly speak.]

Alan: Slowly.

Ruiz: Oh, god.

Alan: Imagine I’m gently running my fingers down your chest.

Ruiz: Ohhhhhh.

Alan: Imagine you’re kissing me.

Ruiz: OHHHHH.

[Alan laughs.]

Alan: OK

Too much there.

Too soon.

[Alan listens, but Ruiz is silent.]

Alan: There are so many things I want you to imagine.

And consider.

I’ll slowly take off your clothes.

You’ll take off mine.

We’ll stand just touching.

Chest to chest.

We’re almost the same height.

I can look in your eyes.

You’ll keep them open.

Unlike now.

I’m guessing.

I’m sure they’re closed.

Ruiz: Ohhhhhh.

Alan: Gently.

Gently.

We’ll walk to the bathroom.

Side by side.

Maybe my arm around your shoulder.

I’ll test the water.

Get it right.

You’ll step in.

I’ll help.

Then follow.

We’ll both get wet.

Like we are now.

Only different.

Ruiz: Ohhhhhh.

Alan: Yeah.

Yeah.

We’ll shower.

I’ll soap your chest.

And hair.

Your belly.

Your legs.

You’ll soap mine.

As slowly as you know how.

After we rinse, we’ll let the tub fill.

Relax in the nice warm water.

Your feet on my chest.

Which is slightly less hairy than yours.

Though I was blond when I was younger.

Stayed that way for a very long time.

Into my late thirties.

Then it got darker.

But you can still tell I was a towhead.

It hasn’t gone gray.

Ruiz: Ohhhhhh.

Alan: I’ll play with your toes.

Since they’re right in my face.

Suck on your toes.

Ruiz: Ohhhhhh.

Alan: Yep. That gets ‘em every time.

Some guys think I have a thing about feet.

Which I don’t.

Just something I was taught.

Don’t even remember by who.

Maybe a woman.

That doesn’t do much for you.

I know.

But it does for me.

[No reaction from Ruiz.]

Alan: Another time.

I’ll suck gently on your toes, and you’ll discover the pleasure of your whole body being wet.

As slick as your dick is now.

Ruiz: Ohhhhhh.

From Alan: Yep, back with me.

No women allowed.

Guys only.

Stroking.

Rubbing those special places.

That crease.

Knowing it’s no longer secret.

Ruiz: Ohhhhhh.

From Alan: Nothing’s secret.

Not now.

You’re naked.

Naked for me.

And you want to be.

You wish I was there.

I wish I were.

Maybe someday.

Someday soon.

Sooner than we realize.

Despite my discipline.

Damn my discipline.

Fuck my rules.

I’m thinking with my dick now, and it hurts.

It’s all I can do to keep my hands on this phone.

On the desk.

Imagining you.

Imagining I’m with you.

Now that we’re connected.

You let this happen.

Made it happen tonight.

Maybe I’ll let the hotel room happen.

Ruiz: Ohhhhhh.

From Alan: This is so amazing.

I thought it would be much further off.

And you keep opening up.

You’re amazing.

I’m not sure what you’re driven by.

Not sure I’ll ever know.

We could be so different under different circumstances.

But this is something apart.

I’m not sure what.

Now you need to concentrate.

Just on yourself.

I’m going to stop talking.

Just go slowly.

Don’t rush.

But make yourself happy.

Ruiz: Ohhhhhh.

Ohhhhhh. Ohhhhhh.

Ohhhhhh. Ohhhhhh. Ohhhhhh.

Ohhhhhh. Ohhhhhh. Ohhhhhh. Ohhhhhh.

OHHH!

[Alan waits.]

Alan: That a boy.

That’s a good boy.

That’s a good man.

Let it ease out.

All of it.

Gently touch yourself.

Gently.

Ease.

Out.

Ease down.

Come down.

Talk when you want to.

Keep your eyes closed.

Or open.

As you wish.

Appreciate the darkness.

The warmth.

Yourself.

[Silence. Another minute.]

Ruiz: I can talk now.

What have you been doing.

I thought maybe you’d gone.

Alan: Nope.

Just waiting.

Waiting for you to catch up.

Ruiz: Touching yourself.

Alan: Not yet.

Letting that pass.

It’s too late for a shower.

Even in the basement.

I’d make too much noise.

Ruiz: Are you disappointed.

Alan: In what?

You?

[Alan quietly laughs.]

Alan: No.

[He laughs again.]

[Ruiz laughs.]

Ruiz: “Only connect,” right.

Alan: I don’t think that’s what Forster had in mind.

Not in that book.

Who knows?

[They laugh together.]

Ruiz: Thank you.

Alan: It was an absolute pleasure.

Ruiz: That was more intense than if I’d been there.

If we’d been together.

I told you things I wouldn’t have.

I was picturing the paperboy.

Did things with him I always wanted to.

Alan: Good.

And you were protected by your familiar room

Ruiz: No.

It’s not that.

I’d have no defenses against him.

I have none against you.

You own me.

Alan: Hardly.

That’s your dick thinking.

And maybe mine.

We both need a good night’s sleep.

I need a long shower.

Tomorrow.

We’ll catch up tomorrow.

Ruiz: Are you going to think about me.

Falling asleep.

From Alan: How can you ask?

Ruiz: Goodnight.

Alan: Yep. ‘Night.

Ruiz: Thanks again.

Alan: You’re welcome.