Season 1 - When the time has come ... - 8. Chapter 8 : Love Affair Ain't Easy ...

Luke tried not to show any hint of embarrassment on his face. But inside, he was mortified. It felt like he was exposed to the whole crowd of people. The bareness on his rear felt cold, as he continued his walk down the runway. He wanted to cry but he couldn’t because he felt the need to be strong… for Justin.

When he flashed the frontof the costumes to photographers, it killed him that he had to turn at that moment and walk back. It was a no brainer that the wardrobe malfunction would surely make it in the magazine news.

With a heavy heart, he made a swift turn and walked as calmly as he could. He kept his face straight, afraid to look at other people, who were definitely whispering about him amongst themselves.

Justin appeared from the end of the stage hurrying towards him, carrying a robe for Luke to cover the exposure. A lump formed in his throat and it got an attempt out of him not to let out a cry. ‘My knight in shining armor, always’, he thought looking at him. Justin’s face didn’t show any humiliation or fear of getting eliminated because of this malfunction. Instead, the look on his face was that of worry. It was out of concern for his boyfriend, and Luke suddenly felt guilty for his deeds.

Quickly, he put on the robe and walked again to the centre of the stage with Justin at his side this time. As they stood, Luke held his hand intertwining his fingers with Justin’s for support, and they shared a smile before turning towards the critics. Now was the hard part.

The jury was silent for a moment; none of them knowing how to start off. Alicia and Rita were there too, but they were not judging this round. While Alicia was looking with pity, Luke thought the other woman seemed pleased from. One of the judges – the red headed woman named Kayla Anderson – spoke up breaking the silence, “Luke, is it?” She asked looking at him and he gave a short nod. “Are you alright darling?” At that point, Luke had to control himself from letting out a sob and in the process, he bit the inside of his cheek and settled on nodding as a reply. The kind lady didn’t seem to notice, but she didn’t find it necessary to question Luke further.

The whole crowd in the auditorium had gone awfully quiet and Luke turned his head to look at Justin. The boy seemed completely forlorn, and although he had tried not to show it through his actions, Luke knew him better. He gave a squeeze to their held hands which were obviously getting sweaty with the anxiety forming in both of them, but neither of them let go. Justin peeked at him again, smiled sadly, and clasped his hand as well.

“Justin … what happened?” Kayla asked, with hesitation. She gave a comforting smile to them as if encouraging them to speak up.

Justin looked down at his feet and gave a slight shake to his head. “I don’t know.” He whispered. He was supposed to say something in his defense but he couldn’t. Luke swallowed down the anxiety in him, and gathering some strength, he spoke up for Justin.

He explained to the jury saying it was his fault. His recklessness had led to this disaster. Justin tried to stop him, but Luke didn’t listen to him. He continued to tell what had happened except for the part on why he had to take his outfit off. He said he was in a hurry to get back into his outfit, and that might have been the cause for the rip.

Alicia took the opportunity right then to defend Justin’s part, saying how talented he was and that the jury should consider the efforts he had taken to design the costume. All the while, Rita didn’t utter a word, but she didn’t give one of her rude remarks either.

The arguments took place, and Luke watched for Justin’s reaction. He had his gaze fixed to where the jury was seated, but specifically only one of them – a handsome, dark-haired man with the name Brian Kinney. He was one of the judges for the last two rounds and Luke realized he hadn’t said anything yet. A suspicion grew in him when he caught him staring back at his boyfriend too, and he could feel the thick connection between them for some strange reason.

Finally, Brian turned to the discussing jury and whispered something to them secretively. Luke felt his boyfriend stiffening at that moment under his hold, and he gave a puzzled glance at him. Kayla seemed to agree with what Brian had told her and the other male critic – Mr. Douglas and she leaned forward to convey their decision. “Look Justin, I am sorry for what happened. I really am.” Luke felt the ‘but’ coming and his hopes were beginning to diminish. “But … this is a contest. You have to stand out from the other contestants if you want to win. Yes, it was unfortunate that this malfunction happened; it was not your fault but I think you could have taken a precaution for that not to happen. You see, that is what would have made this outfit flawless. Oh well …” She sighed in exasperation but gave a cheery smile to the boys as she continued, “Still, as Alicia said, you have taken great efforts. And the jury thinks that your efforts should not go wasted just like that. So, we thought we would keep the decision pending as to whether you should be in the finale or not. The last contestant is yet to execute their design, so we would be only able to make a decision after that.”

Justin gave a short bow and mumbled a silent thank you before starting to leave the stage. Luke followed. The night was going to be hard and he doubted now whether or not he should bring up their break-up. When they got backstage, his eyes met Noah’s who was all set to hit the stage. In different circumstances, his skimpy outfit of the fabulous leather thong would have aroused him, but Luke was too preoccupied by the gloominess and guilt for what he had done and ruined. He gave him a sad smile before trailing towards the restroom where Justin had sprinted to.

===~~~===

Being a professional model already, and the exceptional swimwear design he was wearing, Noah and his designer Kurt received a huge applause onstage. The critics talked highly about the outfit and gave the thumbs up for them indicating they were to hit the finale round for sure.

Now the critic’s decision was even more difficult because of Justin’s outfit. While Justin was sure he was the one that was going to be eliminated, he was surprised when the critics said he was taken to the finale along with Macy too. Since Macy didn’t perform up to mark, she was in the danger zone too. Postponing the finale to the next day, Brian had announced the contestants need to step up to a higher level, and the judges would check the efficiency of every finalist, and this way the contest would be fair. Justin doubted his intentions but he was relieved he would at least get another chance.

By the time he and Luke got back home,it was late evening. Luke seemed lost in his own thoughts throughout the drive from the venue, and Justin assumed he was disturbed by the incident. When they entered the big apartment that belonged to Luke’s uncle, they found it empty and it reminded Justin of his secret plans. All of his sadness was shrugged off, and with a cheerful smile he turned to a puzzled Luke. “Luke, come on, come with me.”

“What?”

Justin took hold of his hand and gave it a pull, gesturing him to follow his lead, “Just come.” And he guided him all the way up the stairs to his room. He was hoping Angela had made all the arrangements and when he opened the door, he was pleased to see she had.

Luke’s jaw dropped when the room illuminated in thousands of candles, came into his view and a big grin began to make way up on his face. He laughed realizing Justin might have had it all planned and stepped into the room. Taking in the beautifully decorated room, he spread his arms around exclaiming, “This is amazing. But how …”

“I have connections, you know.” Justin teased and laughed along. Justin was just happy seeing the smile back on Luke’s face. He was beautiful with that lighting up his face.

“Thank you.” Luke smiled and looked down, hiding his face.

“Hey, come on.” Justin took his hand again and brought him over to the bed. There was a table set by the bedside and on the table was a splendid chocolate cake with candles. They were not lit, so Justin quickly lit them and faced Luke, “Come on make a wish and blow them out.”

Luke chuckled at the childish yet cute ritual, but didn’t do it before asking, “Where is Uncle Seth and Aunt Angela by the way?”

“I will just say that we have this whole apartment for ourselves all night.” Justin gave a suggestive smile saying that.

His boyfriend shook his head, “Whatever that means, I can’t believe you asked them to leave their own house.”

Justin blinked, “I didn’t.” He then smiled, “Now will you just cut the cake. It looks delicious and I can’t wait to eat it.”

“Okay.” He giggled again and went for cutting the cake. He closed his eyes and made a wish. Justin would have died to know what it was because there was a specific uncertainty written on his face at that moment. When he opened his eyes, he glanced at Justin before blowing out the candles. Justin began to sing the birthday song off beat just to make Luke laugh, and it did. His brown-eyed boyfriend slapped his bicep playfully asking to stop it before he scared off all the neighbors. Cutting two pieces of the cake, he took one and fed it to Justin lovingly. Justin just mimicked his actions.

Justin’s gaze fell on the speck of the cake that had found its place just below Luke’s lips and the blonde was oblivious to it. His intense gaze caught Luke’s attention and he looked at him questioningly. Justin nervously pointed to the bit as he stammered, “You have … let me.” He reached to wipe it off with his thumb but stopped mid-way. Thinking otherwise, he let his hand drop and instead, he leaned in. Slowly, he licked the speck off Luke with the help of his tongue, and the erotic action made both of them to shudder involuntarily.

Luke closed his eyes and moaned. Justin took the cue and began to lick more, covering all of his boyfriend’s mouth and surrounding it with passionate kisses and licks. In no time, the two were engaged in a heated kiss with their tongues conquering the other’s mouth. Justin put his hands around Luke and pulled him closer. Luke snaked his hands around Justin too, kissing feverishly.

After a minute or two of making out like that, Justin felt the motions of his to-be-lover slowing down, and if was not mistaken, Luke had begun to stiffen. Not wanting to, but feeling necessary to check on his boyfriend, Justin opened his heavy lids slightly to observe Luke. He pulled his head a little and found Luke staring at something behind him. So, he turned to see what had caught his attention. He grinned when he realized it was the supplies on the nightstand Luke was looking at. Justin turned to face him with a tender look and stroked his face, “It’s happening Luke; after so long. We waited for this day and now it is here. You have no idea how excited I am.” Luke stared at him with an emotionless face and looked away. But Justin caught the expression he was trying to hide just in time and asked, “Baby, is this making you nervous?”

Luke didn’t look up and tried to say, “I … Justin I need to … there’s some …” then he sighed and said somewhat angrily, “Yeah.”

Justin smiled softly at that and put his hand under Luke’s chin. He made him look up and when he was sure Luke was looking him in the eyes, he began, “Don’t be. It’s just me. We love each other. If you think you are going to disappoint me or something, get rid of that thought because baby, I love you for what you are.” He was whispering in his soft voice. “You are the best thing that has happened to me and I want to prove that to you tonight.”

Without waiting for Luke to say anything more, Justin pecked him once again and reached for his shirt. He lifted it over his head and tossed it away. The sight of Luke’s naked physique never stopped to enthrall him, and he placed his hand gently over Luke’s bare, muscled chest. Stroking it, he went for another kiss. Luke was still stiffened but Justin figured, he would loosen up to the idea soon. The heat of his body was radiating under his face and Justin felt aroused.

With almost measured actions, he moved down – first kissing his perfect jaw line, then taking over the neck. He licked, kissed and sucked the neckline and the collarbone. Luke was moaning and whispering something which Justin didn’t quite understand. He continued his ministrations, and nibbled on an earlobe. While there, something in the proximity caught his gaze and he raised his head to scrutinize it. He brushed his hand over it, wondering smilingly, “Hey, I don’t remember giving you this. Is this from last night?”

Luke visibly froze and quickly touched the part. His memory seemed to place it and Justin grew suspicious.

“You are acting like someone else gave you that and I just found out.” He chuckled amused at the very thought, “That hickey must be …” And then he saw it. Luke’s eyes were glassy with tears forming in them and Justin’s heart skipped a beat, “Luke?”

Luke looked down at his hands and just whispered, “I am sorry.” He bit his lip to stop himself from crying.

‘What does he mean …’ Justin was engulfed by an unknown fear. Although he had an inkling of what Luke was sorry for, he didn’t want to think of it. “Wh-what are you sorry for?” He asked, dreading to know the answer, desperate for his doubts to be proven wrong. A moment of silence passed as Luke didn’t reply, and every second passing by was killing Justin. “Why don’t you just fucking tell me?” He yelled, “If you had the guts to do it, you should have the balls to admit it, godammit.” This day was turning out to be a mess and Justin’s eyes watered.

Luke began to sob, hard. He held his face in his hands and cried for some time before looking up, “It just happened, Justin. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“The hell you didn’t!” Justin was angered and stood up from the bed. He was just disgusted by Luke right now. “Or do you think I would be okay with you cheating on me? Is that it?”

“No!” Luke looked at him in disbelief and began to sob again.

Justin was fuming. He tried to calm himself down but he couldn’t. This was getting unbearable. After a long pause, Justin finally asked, “Who was it?”

Luke let out a sob, swallowed the rest coming out and sniffed. He couldn’t get himself to name the guy but he did, “Noah.” He had whispered.

And that actually stabbed Justin in the heart. He gaped at Luke and then frowned. “How could you?” He whispered out his disbelief. Then, a rage formed and his body shivered, “I feel like an idiot. You used me all these years to alleviate your hurt and I let you do that. Now that that fucker is back, you go back to him and you toss me out of your life? What am I, a piece of trash?”

“Justin, you are important to me, you have to believe me.” Luke begged for understanding, “I know you are hurting right now but don’t make the last two years sound so useless. Those two years are my life – you kept me alive all this time. You taught me how to live in love and I adore you so much, not one time did I think of you as a replacement. You are more important to me than that.”

Those words affected Justin deeply. However, although tears had started to form into his eyes, he was still fuming. He shut his eyes to not let the tears be seen, but a drop still made a sharp fall and ended down on his cheek. “Just go … leave me alone. It would do me better if I didn’t see your face right now. I don’t want you anywhere near me because you stink of your betrayal.” He hissed angrily.

“Justin, please don’t …” Luke began to speak and gave Justin a pleading look.

But Justin cut him off raising his voice and almost yelling, “Go!” Luke jumped at the severity of his tone and stared at him astounded for a few moments. But as soon as he recovered, he was tearful again. He mumbled words of apology once again before taking his shirt and walking out of the room. Once he was left alone, the gloominess hit Justin hard and he broke down in tears. He cried softly kneeling down on the floor as he held his face in his hands.

===~~~===

The evening episode replayed in Noah’s mind again and again and he suddenly came to a realization of what a horrible mistake he had made playing with Luke’s feelings like that. It was obviously going to end up as a disastrous thing later when Luke would come face to face with the truth. He had trusted Noah enough with something as precious as his virginity. Luke was nothing like the other guys Noah had been with. Those other guys meant nothing to Noah. And Luke risked his relationship with his boyfriend just to be with him and that made him feel guilty for what he did. This was never how the plan was supposed to work.

The game was to bring down the contenders. Kurt figured out that Justin’s outfit was too delicate to bear any careless handling. The original plan never included any sexual activity. Noah was only supposed to make Luke remove his clothes somehow and mess around with him till the time the contest began. Kurt rightly thought that this would force Luke to hastily put on his outfit to make it onstage and then the damage would be done.

However, Noah got carried away with the ‘mess around’ part and consequently, he had had sex with him, which he regretted now. Not that it wasn’t mind-boggling – rather it was, so much that one could almost call it making love – but it was going to affect Luke badly anyhow.

And feeling culpable that what bad was coming into Luke’s life was because of him, he considered taking the first step in correcting his mistake. He decided to broach the subject with Kurt.

He was off to find him knowing the guy would be somewhere among the crowd backstage - probably irritating someone with his success stories again. But it surprised him when he found Kurt with a guy somewhat around their age talking to him, and Kurt looked irritated. ‘That’s a first’, Noah thought with amusement and strode towards them. He recognized the guy as one of the coordinators and spotted a very familiar smile on his face. Noah began to smile realizing what the guy was doing. He was flirting. With Kurt.

Then one of the snapping remarks came from Kurt and Noah could only catch the tail end of it as he reached the two of them, “… you just fuck off and mind your own business!”

The guy held out his hands but kept smirking, “Oh I am certainly doing that, and right now, you are my business.” Then he saw Noah and his grin widened, “Hey.”

Kurt looked up puzzled to see who it was, and smiled when he saw him, “Hey Noah. You were absolutely great there on the stage. People have been asking me about my model and you know what that means, right?”

Noah perked up and his eyes began to sparkle like a little kid. This was the reason he had volunteered to be one of the models in this contest. He knew this could bring recognition to him in the fashion industry, and he would be able to fulfill his dreams. “That’s great.”

Kurt nodded. “I told them they could approach you tomorrow after the contest ends.” Noah just grinned in approval.

“You should give half a credit to your designer, you know? I mean it’s his talent that made you look ravishing up there.” The flirty coordinator guy jumped in between their conversation. “You are one lucky man to have him.”

Kurt rolled his eyes and gestured for Noah to ignore him but he couldn’t help the knowing smile cross his face. “That I am.” He said to him, “I don’t think we’ve met before, have we?”

“I actually helped you with your hair today.” He chuckled and Noah blushed for not remembering, “Well I’m Blaine.” Blaine was quite tall and possessed an athletic physique. He had dark brown hair that matched the color of his eyes and was similar to Kurt with his pale skin tone which made him quite the looker.

“Noah.” They shook hands very formally and then Noah turned to Kurt awkwardly, “Actually Kurt I wanted to talk you.” He looked at Blaine for him to take the hint.

He did. “Oh. Go ahead. I was just about to go.” At that, Kurt muttered something under his breath. Noah couldn’t hear it but Blaine might have, because he cheekily smiled and said, “For just the time being, my dear. I love your hair too much to stay out of it for too long.” He waved at Noah, “Could I count on you to tell him how good we look together?”

Blaine winked and began to walk away. “Sure.” Noah called behind him, grinning, and got a thumbs up in return. Looking back, he found Kurt looking daggers at him. “What? You do look good with him. You gotta admit he is cute.” Noah shrugged.

Kurt looked over his shoulders in the direction where Blaine had took off and mumbled, “He’s alright.”

However, Noah caught the slight lift of the corner of his lips and he grinned in awareness, “You player!” He said in a tone of accusation, “You like him.”

Kurt turned to look at him with a flushed look. “Yeah.” He admitted, “Just don’t want to let him know yet. He has this weird way of flirting but odd enough, he is starting to grow on me. This had been going on since the contest began and he hasn’t missed an opportunity to come on to me.”

Noah hit him playfully, “You shouldn’t play with him like this if you like him also.”

“I don’t plan to go too far with it. Maybe tomorrow I will tell him.” He sighed with a dreamy look. “He is too hot. I could melt in his muscled arms.”

Noah narrowed his eyes. “Okayy. Keep the fantasy to yourself, dude.” He laughed.

Kurt giggled too and said. “Never mind; tell me what you wanted to talk about.”

“Oh … um,” Noah pulled on a serious face and began, “I was just thinking … and you know it makes me feel really bad for what I did to Luke.”

“Boohoo poor Luke.” Kurt rolled his eyes. “But you weren’t supposed to sleep with him you know? That is all your doing.”

“I know I shouldn’t have done that.” He was angry with himself again. “And now Luke is going to break up with his boyfriend so he can be with me.”

“Oh boy! He has a boyfriend?” Kurt was amused. “You have a very serious issue to handle then.” He thought for a while and said, “Actually, I don’t think it’s that serious anyway.”

“You don’t think it is?”

“Nope. If Luke is breaking up with his boyfriend, it means that he certainly wasn’t any happier with him. So in a way, you did him a favor.” Kurt reasoned out.

He had a point. But Noah was uncertain about one thing, “But Kurt, he is hoping we will be together once he breaks up with his boyfriend, and I am certainly not ready for any kind of commitment. It freaks me out.”

“Now why doesn’t that surprise me?” Kurt smirked, “Anyway, you don’t have to commit to anything. Wait, what is this all about Noah? What are you trying to say here?”

“Uh … I don’t know but I was thinking I would apologize to Justin, who is Luke’s boyfriend, and tell him it wasn’t Luke’s fault.” He said carefully watching for Kurt’s reaction.

“Simply put, you want to tell him all about our plan, don’t you?” Kurt gave him a scowl.

Noah explained desperately, “Look, it’s the least we can do. Once he knows I lured Luke to bed with me, he might take him back. And even if he decides to approach the management with what we did, he doesn’t have any proof.”

Kurt shook his head in disapproval, “It’ll be no good for you Noah if you wear your heart on your sleeve. The fashion world is all about gaining and losing, and even if we hurt someone on our way to gain something, it’s no big deal. It’s what everyone else has done in this fucking world.”

Noah gave a one-shoulder shrug not knowing what to say. He considered what Kurt told him but it didn’t seem to digest inside him. Luke was definitely different in the way he thought, and also the way betraying his trust affected Noah was different. He wasn’t used to feeling guilty after using guys for his selfish reasons, but Luke …

While he was deep in thought, Kurt studied his face and gave him a pat on his shoulder. “Don’t think too much about it Noah. It’s not worth it.” He suggested, “What is worth it is you being identified as a potential model by many, and you should be happy with that.”

The change of subject made his thoughts change its track as well and he felt happier. “I am happy with that. It’s just …” He smiled sadly.

“I have a surprise for you.” Kurt excitedly grinned and Noah wondered about it. “It’s in your room and I am quite sure you will like my gift. That’s my way to show my gratitude to you for everything you’ve done for me.”

“What is it?” Noah curiously asked.

“You will know once you get to your room.” Kurt told him. “Come on now, get going.”

Noah smiled and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. Kurt was sweet although he loved himself too much. He turned around and began to head out. At that moment, he couldn’t help but think of Luke. He was doing that more often recently but right now he was wondering if Luke had already broken up with Justin. He would know it soon, he guessed.

===~~~===

After he had left Justin’s room, Luke considered going to his room. But he couldn’t get himself to stay inside the house for too long. It was starting to haunt him with Justin’s hurtful words coming back to him. The air in the room seemed to be sucked out and Luke felt suffocated all of a sudden. He took off out of the door almost in a sprint.

As he walked through the secluded lanes, he realized how late it had gotten. The night sky was mimicking his gloominess and he felt sadder. Walking aimlessly, he let his mind wander.

Luke was five when he was introduced to a shy boy of the same age by his mother. His mom had met this wonderful lady who had moved into town few days before that and had befriended her. The boy was her son and his name, as he was told, was Justin. He had looked cuddly at him at that time, and had hugged him instantly. Five year old Justin had squirmed at first, made a soft whining sound but soon he was giggling. Luke still remembered that encounter like it had happened just yesterday. It was fresh and cheering for most of the time. But now it was different. He was angry that he had possibly ruined his friendship with Justin.

Reflecting down the memory lane, it amused Luke how fast things had happened between them. They became friends almost instantly, they came out almost at the same time, they shared their first kiss out of the blue, and became boyfriends in a jiffy. It was also surprising that Luke couldn’t remember the last time they had fought like this. Apart from humorous bickering, they never argued, even after they started their romantic relationship.

Maybe it was because they knew each other too well. But what happened today was not expected by either of them. Justin never thought of Luke as the cheating kind. Luke himself was surprised he had let things slip out of his hands so carelessly and shameful enough, it was all done knowingly. He had hurt Justin and he was culpable for it.

After it seemed like he was walking for an eternity, Luke felt his feet aching considerably. He took notice of his surroundings to see how far he had walked. He was surprised to see the familiar hotel just across the street. It was the same hotel he had been coming to for days now. The hotel where the contest was taking place, and the hotel where Noah was staying…

He stood there looking at the huge building for a while before his feet took him inside. He figured he needed to be close to someone right now. He was in pain and he knew the only person who could alleviate it was Noah.

Luke took the elevator and went up to the floor he had been before. He realized he didn’t exactly remember Noah’s room number. They were engaged in a very heated foreplay by the time they had reached Noah’s room, and Luke hadn’t bothered to check out the room number. However, he thought he would be able to recognize it once he was up there.

The elevator bell chimed and the door opened. Remembering that the room was not that far from the elevator, he stepped out and walked through the hallway studying each door. ‘Damn! They all look the same.’ He thought.

Suddenly a door opened in the distance, and Luke saw a familiar girl with jet black hair highlighted in flaming red dye coming out. Eva. She was one of the models he had befriended. Her designer had been ousted in the eliminations but all of them were supposed stay there until the finale.

It had been quite a few days since they had seen each other, so Luke put on a smile and decided to approach her.

Eva had stepped out of the room but hadn’t noticed Luke yet, mainly because she was engaged in a talk with someone inside the room. Luke couldn’t see who it was as the wall played a barrier to his view.

“Can I get a kiss one last time?” He heard Eva ask as he got nearer and froze in his place seeing Noah leaning halfway out of the doorframe. He had no shirt on as he got closer to Eva and kissed her smilingly.

===~~~===

It had been an hour since Luke had left his room but the loneliness was no better. Justin wanted to shout at Luke, pour all his anger out that he was feeling. But he knew it wouldn’t help. The anger was for some other reason and he didn’t like thinking about it.

He gazed at his phone on the nightstand for the umpteenth time and looked away again. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. But he was sure about one thing. He wanted to kick the agony out of him.

Finally, he took hold of his phone and made a call. After two or three rings, the call was received. “Hello.” A deep voice said on the other end.

Justin took a breath out of nervousness and said, “Mr. Kinney? It’s Justin here. I was thinking if your offer still stands … I …” He swallowed. “I am up for it.”

There was silence at the other end and Justin feared he had missed his chance. But then the deep voice spoke again, “Take down the address…”

===~~~===