Bernard: Diary of a 46-yr-old Bellhop - 9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Reality Check

The couple settled into their love nest over the cold, rough winter. For once, Bernard enjoyed some semblance of stability. He and Jack appeared to be the ideal couple.

January was the favorite month, as it was Jack’s 37th birthday on the fourth. Bernard made a cake all by himself and presented it to his lover.

“You made this for me?”

Bernard blushed. “Yes.”

The cake was yellow, with chocolate icing. He’d even decorated it with a large red heart and the digits 3 and 7 on either side of it. Inside the heart were the words “To my Jack, my love.”

“It’s beautiful!” Jack crooned. “Thank you, hon! I love it and I love you.”

“I wish I coulda bought you something. You deserve a huge gift.”

Jack gathered his lover into his arms and held him tight. “I have all I want right here.”

Bernard’s lower lip quivered as his emotions reached fever pitch. “Jack…”

“Shhh, I love you. No words needed.”

They kissed several times and held on in a long embrace. Finally, they let go.

“We need to light this thing and cut it.” Bernard said. “I’m no good at singin’ though.”

Jack kissed him again. “That’s alright, I’m lousy at it too.” The two men shared a laugh. “All right, all lit up. We’ll hum it together.”

“Deal.”

They hummed the birthday song together and Jack blew out the two candles.

Bernard retrieved a large knife from the kitchen, and handed it to Jack.

“I’ve had enough fun with knives. I’ll let you cut it.”

The two shared a pained look as they both recalled his wrists after his attempt. Bernard wiped away tears and looked up into his boyfriend’s face.

“Bern…”

“Hey, I did it to myself. Let’s eat this cake so we can get to bed.”

They smiled at each other and kissed once more.

“I love you.” Jack said softly.

“I love you more.” Bernard replied.

Jack cut two slices of the cake and they sat at the dining table to devour it. An hour later, the two shut off the main lights in the apartment and headed for the bedroom.

“Now I can give you a present.” Bernard joked.

“Can’t wait to unwrap it.” Jack said lustfully.

They kissed deeply and shut the door. The rest of the night was spent in their winter’s love nest. Valentine’s Day was special for Bernard, as it was the first time he actually wanted to celebrate it. Jack bought him a dozen roses, and Bernard bought Jack a bottle of his favorite cologne. It was a romantic evening for the two.

Alas, the cold winter’s hibernation could not last forever. The springtime thaw had come right on schedule. On the early spring evening of April 5^th, Jack stepped through the door after a very long shift. It’d been one of his worst days as a doctor. His patient died on the table. It reminded him of Randy very much. A young, vital man struck down by a genetic disorder. He rubbed his tired gray eyes and looked forward to a quiet evening alone with Bernard. Just then, a terrible din broke through his silent daydreaming.

“Dammit!”

Jack ran inside and around to the kitchen. He saw Bernard in front of the stove black smoke pluming from a burnt dish of something. Bernard looked up and saw his lover.

“Hey, hon.”

Jack tried not to scowl. “Hey. What the hell happened?”

Bernard waved away the smoke from the detector and up into the hood. “Oh, I tried to make something new and it backfired.”

“I can see that. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Just, a lousy cook I guess. Sorry.”

Jack walked up and looked at the range; it was covered in black grease and baking soda. “It started a fire?”

Bernard nodded. “Yeah. I tried to make fish, but as you can tell, it’s not really my specialty. I can clean this up, don’t worry.”

Jack pursed his lips. “No, it’s alright. We’ll both take care of it later. Uh, so what’s for dinner?”

Bernard looked into his companion’s eyes and saw disappointment, but tried to shut it out. “Uh...let’s see.” He scrambled over to the pantry and looked desperately for something to salvage the evening. He grabbed a can of soup from the back. “How about this? It’s microwaveable with no chance of me ruining that too.”

Jack bit his lip and took a deep breath. “That’s just fine, hon. Soup it is. I’m gonna go change.” He began to walk away, but Bernard caught his arm.

“Hey. Welcome home.” Bernard kissed Jack lightly, but he pulled away a bit.

“Let me go change. It’s been a long day.”

Bernard let go of the man. “Okay. I’m sorry about the kitchen…”

Jack shut his eyes and took a measured breath. “It’s alright. You stopped it in time. I’ll be out in a few minutes for that soup.”

“I’ll get right on it.” Bernard touted.

Jack disappeared into the bedroom.

A few minutes later he reappeared and saw the dining table was set up for the two of them. The soup was already in the dishes and everything was set. Bernard stood up when he entered the room.

“I’m starved, as you are I’m sure. I promise dessert will more than make up for what I did.”

Jack sat down and gulped down a large swig of water then looked over at Bernard.

“I’m sure it will.” He picked up his spoon and began to eat. Bernard looked on.

“Y-You’re not mad, are you?” He asked nervously.

Jack frowned. “Hon, please, can I just eat in peace? This has been an awful day and I really don’t feel like talking.”

Bernard’s face fell a bit as did his shoulders. “Yeah. Sure.” He picked up his spoon and slurped up the soup in silence. He finished his first and brought the dish to the kitchen.

He looked over his shoulder at the range top and bowed his head a bit. Dammit, way to go, butthead! You almost ruin the guys range because you can’t cook! I have to make it up to him somehow.

He glanced over at Jack, who was still sitting in silence with his fingers pinched around the bridge of his nose. Bernard approached cautiously.

“I can bring you some aspirin if you have a headache.” He offered quietly.

Jack didn’t even look up. “No, thank you. I think I’ll just go down to the basement for a while.”

Bernard nodded. “Okay. I’ll let you know when dessert’s ready.”

Jack stood up and glanced over at the man briefly. “I’ll see how my stomach feels by then. I might skip it tonight.”

“But it’s your favorite! Pound cake with whipped cream icing and—”

“I said I’ll see!” Jack snapped.

That was the first time Jack had ever raised his voice to him! Bernard backed away out of Jack’s path. “Okay. I’m sorry…”

“I’ll see you later.” He brushed past Bernard and hurried down to the basement.

Way to go, fatso, you really screwed up this time! The man won’t even talk to you! “Guess I’ll clean this up and hope I’m not evicted by tonight.” Bernard whispered to himself. He set to scrubbing the range until it was sparkling clean.

Two hours later, Jack came back upstairs. He found the cleaned range, the dishes done and put away, and no sign of Bernard. There was one last item, a note on top of the granite counters. He walked over to it and picked it up. His eyes skimmed it and read it once more to be sure.

Dear Jack,

I’m so sorry about tonight. I won’t ever try to do that again. I guess I’m not smart enough to figure out how to make that dish. I hope you’re not furious with me forever. I still love you, always! I’m sorry!!!

Bernard

Jack crumpled it up into his fist and held it to his lips. He glanced down the hallway at the master bedroom door and saw it was nearly closed. Only an inch separated it from the jamb.

Jack walked back to the bedroom and saw Bernard on his side asleep. There was a large pile of spent tissues beside him stuffed into a wicker trash can. Jack held back his emotions as he entered the room and lay down on the bed as gently as possible.

“I’m so sorry, hon.” He whispered to the sleeping form.

Bernard stirred a bit and could smell Jack’s cologne. He turned a bit and saw the raven-haired man next to him; his face wet with tears.

“Jack?”

“It’s me. Bernard, I’m so sorry! I overreacted and was a complete ass to you. Can you ever forgive me?”

Bernard turned onto his side and scooted over to take the distraught man into his arms. They held each other close for several moments.

“Shhh, I’m the one who screwed up by trying to cook in the first place. I started that damn grease fire!”

Jack cupped Bernard’s face. “You didn’t know…you’ve never tried it before. It was an accident, pure and simple.”

“I was so afraid of how you’d be that I wrote that note and went to bed. I kept praying your anger would dissipate.”

Jack kissed Bernard softly. “I’d had the day from hell and I took it out on you. I acted like a complete jerk and need to make things up to you. Your note really hit home with me. I know you’re sorry and it was a mistake…but we all make them honey, all of us.”

Bernard smoothed his lover’s hair. “Are we okay again? You’re not mad anymore?”

“We are just fine. You did a fantastic job on that range, it looks better than when I bought it!”

“Thanks! I needed everything to be perfect again.”

Jack kissed him again and held on. “I love you, Bern.”

“I love you too, Jack.”

They sat back and kissed a couple more times before sitting up.

“That dessert offer still on the table?” Jack asked.

“Yeah. It’s still good. I had a large piece of it. It was wonderful.”

“Sounds terrific. Want to sit with me while I have some?”

Bernard’s face brightened. “Yeah! I’ll go serve you up a piece.”

Before Jack could utter another word, his lover hopped off the bed and scurried into the kitchen. He carved off a large piece of the scrumptious cake for his mate. Jack joined him in the dining area and sat down.

“Need anything else? Water? Coffee?”

Jack laughed and took Bernard’s hand. “I’m fine. Just need my best guy with me. Have a seat, hon.”

Bernard grinned and pulled out a chair next to his lover. He pilfered a small scoop of whipped cream from the top of the cake. The two shared a laugh and held hands on the side while Jack ate.

“Ya know…this whipped cream is awfully good. Very sweet.” Jack noted.

“It was my favorite part. It doesn’t help my diet any, but I need something once in a while.”

Jack nodded. “I agree. Anymore of it left?”

Bernard nodded. “Yeah, I bought two cans. Wasn’t sure how much I’d need.”

“Hmm. I think we need to open up that second can.”

“Why? What else needs it?”

Jack looked over at his lover and winked at him. “I think it’s time we have some real dessert. Don’t you?”

Bernard’s eyes lit up and he grinned widely. “What’re you…oh my! You wanna…really? You wanna…?”

Jack nodded. “Whenever you’re ready. I need to make things up to you as much as you wanted to with me. Covering you with whipped cream and licking it off of you might be a start to that.”

Bernard chased away a happy tear and kissed Jack. Softly at first, but their mouths opened a bit and they shared a French kiss.

“I love you so much, Jack.”

“I love you more, Bernard. Time for bed.”