A way of life - 3. Talk to me

This is the 3rd chapter of 'A way of life' and i hope you'll enjoy reading it.

Talk to me

I just got 3 or 4 hours of sleep ‘cause I had to think about Nolan and my dad the whole time. I couldn’t stop thinking. Thinking about my dad confused and scared me but thinking about Nolan just made me happy. I really miss him right now. If he only could sleep in my bed, I never would’ve a problem sleeping. At 6.30 am my alarm goes wild and I got up and was going to go to the toilet to release my bladder. I hate being in puberty, ‘cause my damn dick won’t stay down in the morning. Every morning I had to fight against it to pee and I hate everything about it. I then walked into the shower and started the water. The first cold streams of water flowed over my body and woke up my body. I do this every morning till the warm water begins to start. After drying myself up I got into my clothes I’ll wear over the school day.

As I got to the kitchen my dad sat at the table and drank his coffee like every morning. He looked at me, said good morning and then locked eyes with me for a moment.

“You look awful today. Didn’t you sleep at all?” he asked.

“I sure slept a little but only for about 4 hours.” I answered.

“Are you sure you’re ok? Since dinner yesterday you look like someone killed your dog.” He seriously said to me.

“Yes. I just got something on my mind that don’t want to go away that easy. It’ll go away, promise.” I told him.

“Ok, but If you need someone to talk about then just say so. Maybe I can help you.” I just nodded and I gulped down my breakfast, got my backpack and ran out the house. I don’t know why I can’t just tell him. It’s not like he is a homophobe, he is just my dad. Damn it. What if I just tell him tonight and get it over with? Then I don’t have to deal with this anymore. But it’s scary to tell him ‘cause I don’t know how he’ll react. Ok. I’ll tell him at dinner today. I have to.

Walking up the street I saw Dan and Nate waiting for me. They saw me and waved into my direction but after a few meters they saw why I didn’t wave back.

“Dude. What’s up? You look awful today.” Dan asked without even greeting me.

“Don’t know. My mind is driving me crazy. One minute I think about Nolan and feel like the happiest person in the world and the next minute I think about my dad and freak out and get scared. I need to tell him and get it over with. Otherwise I’ll freak out tonight.” I told them.

“If you have to then let me stay with you. I’ll got your back and you know that.” Dan told me with a serious voice.

“He sensed something is up. This is freaking me out. I need to do that and yes. Please be there. I don’t know if I can deal with it when I’m alone.” I begged.

“Sure. Just tell me when I have to be there.” I just nodded on his comment.

As we got to Nolan’s house we stopped and waited for him to come out. It feels like we did this for our whole life. It just seems right. Nolan came out, greeted us and grinned at me. He came close, and gave me a little kiss on the cheek. I blushed a little but this time I didn’t stood there in shock. I just grinned and we then walked to school together. First period was homeroom so got in and waited for the teacher. After 20 minutes since the teacher came in Nolan asked if he could go to the toilet and the teacher gave him a hall pass. Now he was gone and I already miss him. I don’t like this feeling and I hope he’ll come back fast but after about 10 minutes I wondered why he didn’t show up again. I asked the teacher if I could go and check on him and she also gave me a hall pass.

Going to the boys’ restroom I heard loud voices out of it and I fast ran inside. There were to Jocks beating the shit out of my boyfriend. “Go kill yourself faggot. Nobody wants you here.” One of them screamed and I instinctively ran up to them and tossed them away from Nolan. His nose was bleeding he hold his stomach. Until I turned 14 I practiced some self-defense sports and fought the two jocks away but they didn’t stop and started to beat me as well. After some minutes a teacher came in because of the loud noises and separated us. After explaining to him what happened we were led to the principal office. The two jocks got a 3-day suspension and the principal told us we didn’t do anything other than defense ourselves but he has to call our parents and tell them what happened. After he told us we can go we had to go to the nurse to get Nolan fixed up a little. The nurse told us we can stay there for the period that just started and calm down a little. Nolan lies on the mattress and without even thinking I grasped for his hand sitting on a chair beside him. The nurse looked at us with a confused look and I asked her if someone can tell Dan and Nate that we were here. She nodded and walked away.

“You’re my hero, Mike. Thank you.” Nolan said, sat up and gave me a kiss on the lips. Can someone pinch me please? My boyfriend just kissed me in school and thanked me for saving him from more beating. Still holding hands we talked about what happened and why those two jocks started to beat him. He told me they assumed he is gay because he comes from San Francisco. They asked him if he want to suck their dicks and he just said ‘Sorry guys but I don’t like small dicks’. I couldn’t stop laughing about this.

“You know that you’re insane, do you?” I snickered while asking him.

“Yeah, I know. That was stupid ‘cause I was alone. I should’ve known better. I couldn’t stop saying that. And I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m gay. If someone asks me I’ll tell them.” He shrugged his shoulders and added “I hope you’re not mad at me.”

“Mad? No, not about something like this. I care too much about you to get upset. I don’t know why but I feel like I’ve know you forever.” I said with a blushing smile.

“I know it is too early to say that but it just feels right. I love you, Mike. I really do.” He said to me and that shocked me a little because I just feel the same way.

“It’s not too early at all, ‘cause I just feel the same way. I love you too, Nolan.” And with this I leaned to him and kissed him passionately on his lips.

We didn’t hear the nurse coming in but she said” Ok you two lovebirds. Time to get up and leave for lunch. I hope I don’t see your bums again in the next time.” She chuckled and got out of the room again.

We just sat there and laughed ‘cause she busted us kissing. But it doesn’t seem wrong. It felt right and I hope someday we can do this in the open. But that’s in the future. At first I have to deal with my dad. Shit, he knows I got into a fight today and he knows why I got into a fight. There’s nothing I can do but tell him the truth.

We got up and walked to the cafeteria and sat down with Dan and Nate and told them what happened. They looked angry but we told them the jocks got suspended and that this won’t happen again. I really hope that something like today will never happen again. The rest of the school day went past without anything happening. On the way home we talked about my dad and what I need to do and I told Dan that if he wants to help me he has to be at my place at 3 pm. At home I got dinner ready and just cooked a little more because Dan would come along and will eat with us. When my dad came home he doesn’t look very happy and I know exactly why. He greeted me and sat down at the kitchen table. A few minutes later the doorbell rang and I opened Dan the door to let him in. I told my dad I invited him over for dinner. They greeted each other and we began eating.

After a few minutes my dad asked me what happened today and I told him what he needed to know at the moment. He said we didn’t do anything wrong and said he won’t ground me about this. Now I feel nervous.

“Dad? There’s something else I need to tell you but I don’t really know how to tell you.” I said to him.

“Just tell me. If you didn’t murder someone nothing can shock me.” He told me.

“Just tell him, Mike.” Dan said.

“Ok. Eehhm. Shit. This is not easy. Dad, I’m… I’m gay.” I finally got the words out.

“Ok, son. Tell me something new.” Shocked I first looked at him and then to Dan.

“What? You knew? How does everybody know about this? Why didn’t you talk to me? ‘cause I always freaked out when this topic came up in TV or someplace else.” I couldn’t believe he knew. Ok, actually I could believe it because I thought he might know.

“You’re my Son, Mike. I’ve know it for years now and it’s not my place to talk about something like this with you. You have to come to me what’s bothering you. I knew the day will come and I appreciate you finally told me. And to calm you down, I’m not mad at you or disappointed. It’s the way you are and nothing will change that. You’re still my son and I still love you.” We then talked a little about the whole topic and why I have to be careful about what might happen in my life. There are people like those jocks that don’t like gay people and they’ll violently defend their opinion about being gay.

“Does anyone knows about you other than Dan?” My dad asked.

“Seems like everybody knows but only Dan, Nate, Nolan and the Nurse knows.” Shit. Why did I tell him about the nurse?

“Why does the nurse knows about you? Did you tell her?” he asked.

“Something like that.” I then said and blushed a little.

“Ok now I know why. You got yourself a boyfriend, am I right?” he smiled at me.

Blushing with a really dark red in my face I said “Ehm… Yes. I have a boyfriend. That’s why I had to tell you. I don’t think I could hide that when I’m with him.”

“Since you don’t look at Dan the whole time and Nate is not here as well it has to be that new boy you just met a day ago? What was his name? Nolan?” He asked me and I just blushed more.

“Yes, it’s Nolan. I don’t know why I tell you this but I fall in love with him at the very first moment he went into the class. And he felt the same. We met yesterday and talked a bit ‘cause Dan and Nate were pretty late and we got emotional and then we kissed. That’s why the nurse knows about me. We kissed in the emergency room and didn’t notice the nurse walking in on us.” I told him and felt relieved.

“I’m really happy for you and I’m very proud of you that you got the guts to talk about all this with me.” Looking at Dan he added “And thank you for having my sons back.” Looking back at me he also said “I really want to meet the boy who stole the heart of my son. Can you call him and invite him over?” What? He wants to meet my boyfriend? OK, I don’t really have a choice anymore so I got up and called Nolan.

Nolan: Hey sweety, did everything went well?

Me: Hey, yes, everything worked out but he wants to meet you. Can you come over? I send you my location so you can find it.

Nolan: Sure, let me talk to my mom I’m over in ten?

Me: Sounds good. Did you just call me ‘sweety’?

Nolan (giggling): Yes, ‘cause you’re sweet and I love you.

Me (giggling): Ok, I love you too, cutie.

Nolan: See ya in ten

Me: See ya.

I hung up the phone sent Nolan the address and got back to the kitchen. “He’s telling his mom and should be here in about 10 minutes.”

“Ok, lets clean up the table and wait in the living room.” My dad said. We cleaned up the little mess from dinner and went to the living room. Before I could sit down the doorbell rang and I ran to the door to open it. There he was, the cutest boy of the school running into my arms and started kissing me deeply. When we calmed down a little from that passionate kiss I grasped his hand and we walked to the living room.

My dad looked up and I said “Dad, this is Nolan.” My dad stood up, walked over to him and reached his hand. Politely Nolan did the same my dad introduced himself and told us to sit down. Nolan and I sat close together holding hands. My dad saw that and grinned at me.

“Nice to meet you, Nolan. I heard what happened today in school and I’m happy my son could help you.” He said and then he started the whole ‘the world is dangerous’ thing at the beginning. After he finished Noland said “I know about all this but I’m not afraid about this. If someone has a problem with my lifestyle he don’t have to participate in my life. My dad was a homophobe and when I told my ‘rents he left without a word and we had to move to California where my aunt and uncle lives. It’s pretty tough but otherwise I never met Mike. Sure, I love my dad but If he can’t accept me for who I am I don’t need him in my life. The first 3 weeks after he left us were pretty hard for me and my mother but it had to be that way. I really miss him and if he wants us back I would be pretty happy but I have to live on without him.” Damn. I didn’t know that. In fact, I don’t really know much about Nolan. I just met him a day ago.

“Sounds like you’re accepting that your father don’t want to live with his gay son.” My dad says.

“I have to accept it. I can’t do anything to change his opinion when he don’t even want to speak with me. That happened 2 months ago and it’s still hard to believe he left us without a word but my mom and I are happy in California. And the best part about California is that I met this boy who saved my ass today.” he pointed out at me.

Without even thinking I reached over and kissed him. Damn, this is all too new to me. I just kissed my boyfriend in front of my dad who I just told that I’m gay, but he just smiled at me and I blushed and backed up from Nolan.

“Mike, you don’t have to hide your feelings in front of me. If you feel like kissing your boyfriend than just do it.” And then like every dad or mom he told us about sex. That’s a really good topic but I really don’t want to discuss sex with my dad but I couldn’t stop him. Damn it, why does he have to do that with my boyfriend in the same room. Dan, who sat on the other site of the couch just laughed the whole time while Nolan and I blushed like hell.

“DAD, enough. I don’t want to talk about this with you. I didn’t even talk with Nolan about this. We just met a day ago. Calm down.” I yelled at him a little angry and embarrassed.

My dad laughed and said “Ok Ok, good to know you won’t get him pregnant.” That was enough for and we all roared up laughing out loud. For the rest of the day we watched TV together and Nolan and I cuddled up on the couch with a few little kisses and some glances from my father and Dan. At 8 pm Nolan said he had to go home and Dan said the same. I told my dad I’ll walk Nolan home and will be back in about 30 minutes. He nodded and we got ready to leave. We said our goodbye to each other and Dan walked in the direction to his house and Noland and I walked in the other direction. We talked a little about what happened at the dinner and he just grinned at me and said “Told ya.”

At his house he asked me inside to talk a little with his mom. He now introduced me as his boyfriend and we talked a little bit and she did the same as my dad. The damn ‘sex-talk’ but Nolan just stopped her and told her about my dad and what he said. After about 20 Minutes I had to leave and said goodbye to his mom and stepped out of the front door. Without thinking I stepped closer to him and kissed him goodbye like it’s the normal to me.

“See ya tomorrow, baby. I love you.” I said to him.

He looked into my eyes and said “I love you too, sweety. Can’t wait to see you again.”

I then left and thought about the day and what happened. I still have a problem believing I just told my dad about my little secret, introduced my boyfriend to him and kissed Nolan in front of him. I can’t be happier. But one thing bugs me a little. The issue with his dad. I really hope his dad will get his problems together and will get back to him and his mom.

I can’t wait to see Nolan again. I already miss him. But what am I going to do in school? Do I really want to let them now about Nolan and me? I really need to talk about this with him. Maybe we can work something out.

Feel free to leave a comment. Have a nice day.