Feelings I Don't Know How to Say Otherwise. - 12. Ocean

It was so easy to revel in the lavish “you’re beautiful”s that rolled from beautiful lips. I let them wash over me like ocean waves, dragging with them the gritty beads that the world too often leave in the cracks and crevices of my body. I floated on “I love you”s through the treacherous caves that were too dark for me to navigate. I trusted in the current that carried me safely through the dark nights I thought I would drown in my own harsh thoughts.

But I hadn’t noticed how the water shrivelled my reflection and how soon my legs tired. I found salt crusted in my eyes and weakness in my bones. Panic seized me as I fought against the current, distrustful of those words I felt I had become unworthy of.

Unsynchronised with the rhythm of the ocean, I charged into walls that left me gasping. Thrashing against the gentle current, I cut myself on blunt edges. I was drowning.

Dry land shall still my turbulent heart and ground my wayward thoughts where my legs will carry its own weight and doubt will no longer sully me.

Until then, I shall relish in the quiet promises the ocean makes as it crashes into the shoreline.