Feelings I Don't Know How to Say Otherwise. - 1. Growth

You lead me through the rows of saplings, bending over once in a while, to tend to one: showering its thirsty roots in your seemingly endless supply of affection. A knife twisted in my gut, and guilt coated the walls of my stomach: how could I be so jealous of such compassion?

You turned your head and saw me watching you. You flashed that smile, eradicating the shadows that loomed over me. Standing up straight, you brushed your hands against the sides of your pants, before offering me one. I took it and felt the calluses that spoke of your laborious love.

Tugging gently, you urged me forward. I basked in the warmth of your touch and the tenderness of your care. Strands of silky happiness wove a cocoon around me, an opaque casing.

Your footsteps halted and mine followed behind yours. As you shifted me to face you, you pressed your soft lips against my forehead. Sliding your hand out of mine, the cocoon unravelled, and there I stood, firmly, in my spot.

You’re leaving, I noticed.

You stroked the side of my face, telling me I was ready, that I was better now. I pulled hard at my roots but they anchored too deeply. I could not follow as you pulled away. My limbs ached as they stretched forward, growing and extending, but never reaching you.

You smiled, tears in your eyes, as I grew.