Feelings I Don't Know How to Say Otherwise. - 9. Ballet

I wished I’d started ballet when I was seven, when I decided I would never fit in. I wished I’d started ballet when I was ten, when I decided I would never be athletic. I wished I’d started ballet when I was twelve, when I decided systematically shutting down when other kids picked on my flaws was not going to cut it anymore. I wished I’d started ballet when I was fourteen, when I was starting to believe that maybe life could get better. I wished I’d started ballet when I was sixteen, when I decided the only way to shield myself from the slurs hurled at me was to be shamelessly flamboyant. I wished I’d started ballet when I was eighteen, when I decided the only way to feel safe was to hide everything I stood for. I wished I’d started ballet when I was nineteen, when I felt lost, torn between the identities I had forged. When I was twenty, I decided to start ballet. And everyday, I thank myself for that decision.