Shane - 15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15
The next weekend was the last weekend in July and Shane woke up nervous on Sunday morning. He was nervous cause today he would see Brian for the first time since he’d been kicked out of his father’s house.

He kept admonishing himself knowing he shouldn’t be nervous about Brian. He had really liked Brian after a spell and imagined he actually owed his life to him on more then one occasion. He went to the bathroom and took a shower then returned to his room sat on his bed and pulled on his socks. Shep was sitting near the bed staring at him. “I know boy. I just gotta put my shoes on first.” This was Shep’s morning routine. As soon as Shane finished dressing in the morning he started begging to go out. Shane always dressed in a hurry. He imagined it must be uncomfortable to not be able to go to the bathroom when you had to.

He threw on his shoes and ran down the stairs he raced Shep every morning and every morning he lost. He opened the door and let him out but instead of going out himself he closed the door back up and walked into the kitchen hearing someone moving around in there.

The kitchen of this house was Shane’s favorite room. It was dark blue and white. The counters and floor were done in shiny blue tile. The cupboards were white with blue trim. The windows which had a splendid view out over the cliff to the ocean was framed in dark blue frilly curtains and every decoration such as antique plates pots and pans that hung on the white walls were shined up and a brilliant blue as well.

Tad looked up at him from the counter where he was molding out a pie shell. “Good morning.” he greeted Shane with a warm smile like he did every morning.

Shane smiled back his good morning from Tad one of his most cherished events of each day right up there with Don’s good mornings.

“You want some help?”

“You gotta have breakfast first.” He turned and pointed to the cupboards. “I bought your favorite pop tarts at the store yesterday.”

Shane walked over and pulled out the box of cinnamon and brown sugar pop tarts also loving the fact Tad cared enough to find out what his favorites were and made a point to buy them each time he went grocery shopping. He opened the box then one of the foil packages and dropped two tarts into the toaster. He pushed the button on the toaster down at the same time he put the box away. Then pulled out a glass, went to the fridge and filled it with milk.

He’d never gone to the fridge himself up until they got back from the trip. Though he’d only been doing it for three days it no longer scared him that he would get in trouble if he did it.

He stood opposite of Tad at the island counter and after taking a drink of milk set his glass down on it. “What are you making?”

“Chocolate cream pie.”

Shane’s face lit up.

“You like that?” Tad asked grinning at his excited face.

Shane shrugged. “Don’t know’s if I ever had it. I like chocolate.” he held one hand out. “And pie.” he held out the other then put them together. “So I imagine I’ll like chocolate pie.”

Tad snickered and squeezed Shane’s shoulder. He and Don had never really talked about having kids not with any intent to do so anyways but now that they had one they both loved it. Though the road had been rocky at first Shane was rapidly becoming more confident which in turn made him a lot more fun to be with. He still needed guidance and both Tad and Don were glad of that because they loved giving it to him and loved it over this past week when he’d actually come to them for advice on several different issues. First one being the same day they got home as to what his email address should be.

They gave him plenty of suggestions and after an hour of discussion led mostly by Shane who they both imagined was the only person ever to put so much thought into an email address, he had decided on sshep16 since he joked so much about changing his last name to Shep’s which he considered to be Shepard.

“You nervous about seeing Brian?”

Shane nodded without hesitation then took another drink of milk. “You spose that’s normal?”

Tad nodded and looked back down at his pie. That question had become very common like Shane was proving to himself in everything he said that he was thinking normally like most people would think in his situations. Don and Tad had talked to Larry about it and Larry had said it was a good thing. That he was only measuring himself up against other people to see how he stacked up. Once he was satisfied he was not the wierdo he’d always thought he was he would stop.

“Were you here when they came before? When I was sleeping?”

Tad looked back up at him and nodded.

“Was his gram real nice?”

“Very nice. Brian seems to love her very much. I think he’s very happy living with her.”

Shane nodded looking happy at this then walked over to the toaster where his tarts had just popped up. He pulled a paper plate down from the cupboard then latched onto one of the tarts. He pulled his hand away and shook it behind him it being too hot to touch yet. He leaned over and blew on the corner and Tad started laughing.

He straightened back up and turned and looked at him. “What?” He asked smirking.

“You just look like such a queer when you do that.” Tad chuckled knowing he was really giving Shane a compliment cause he loved being called a queer at least by Tad and Don. He did not imagine he would enjoy it if it were any of the kids from back at his old school.

Shane laughed turned back around then continued to blow on the pop tart. After eating he went out and checked on Shep who was rolling in the grass his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. Shane went back to the kitchen and helped Tad cook all morning. They made macaroni salad, potato salad, cut cucumbers and tomatoes. Marinated steaks and chicken and made pitchers of lemonade, iced tea and iced coffee.

Shane went outside and set up the table behind the house about half way between the cliff and the house while Tad cleaned up the Barbeque that was just outside the kitchen door. They did not see the car pull up into the driveway beside the house. Tad saw Brian walking up to Shane but Shane was so involved in getting everything just so on the table he didn’t see him.

Brian smiled and waved at him then walked up beside Shane. “Scuse me.”

Shane jumped and turned to him. He smiled widely then pulled him into his arms.

Brian wrapped his arms tightly around Shane. “I’m not sure who you are really friendly guy but I’m looking for Shane.”

Shane laughed and hugged him harder. “It’s me I just got a lobotomy.”

Brian chuckled and pulled away from him shaking his head while not taking his eyes off Shane. “I wasn’t talking about the way you act. It’s the way you look man. My god what a difference. You are hot.” he put his hand on his chest and grinned. “And I ain’t even gay.”

Shane put his hands up behind his head and flexed his muscles. “Must be my new muscles.” he said grinning. “What do you think?” he posed in the mirror every morning now, something he never even dared to look in before the trip. He was proud of his muscles there was no doubt in his mind about it.

Brian chuckled then reached out and felt one. “You gonna go back to Prescott high just long enough to beat everyone up?”

Shane chuckled too. “They’d have to knock me unconscious to get me to ever go back to that hell hole.” he put his arms down and smacked Brian on the shoulder lightly. “I hear you are gonna be going to Cliff side too?”

“Sure am back to my old school. Back to the 21st century. You’ll love it there Shane the kids are so much different. So much nicer. I think us straight kids are actually the minority there.” He laughed then shook his head. “I’m kidding but there are a lot of gay kids there. And no one hates them just cause there gay. Everyone pretty much gets along.”

Shane nodded and placed the last fork down on the table. “That’s what Seth keeps telling me.” He noted a look of shock on Brian’s face.

“Seth?” he sputtered. “Seth Greenway?”

Shane nodded.

“You are friends with Seth Greenway?”

Shane furrowed his brow not wanting to hear anything bad about Seth. He loved Seth and didn’t think he could bear any bad news about him. “What’s wrong?” He asked quietly just to get Brian to stop staring in the dumbstruck way.

Brian smiled, shook his head then chuckled a disbelieving chuckle. “Well of course Seth Greenway would say that Shane. He’s the most popular guy there. He’s the star of the soccer team and don’t even get me started on his performance on the swim team.”

“He’s a jock?” Shane said swallowing hard.

“Well yeah,” Brian saw his sudden nervousness and knew why. “But he’s not like the jocks at Prescott high. I mean with that body you had to know he did sports.” Brian laughed at himself again and sat down on the seat of the picnic table. “And I really swear I’m not gay.”

Shane chuckled and sat down beside him. “There’s a swim team at your school?”

“Oh yeah, swimming and diving.”

Shane’s eyes lit up though he wasn’t sure he’d ever be brave enough to try out he desperately wanted to join the diving team. He’d never actually dived that had only been in his dreams. But he loved watching it on TV every time the summer Olympics rolled around. “Do they have the high dive?”

“Sure do. Our pool is awesome. I only go in it at gym time but it’s got all that fancy stuff. You gonna try out?”

Shane shrugged knowing he would call Aaron about this as soon as he got the chance. If anyone could give him a little confidence it would be Aaron. Don walked out of the house the screen door screeching as he opened it. Behind him were who Shane figured had to be Brian’s grandparents.

He stood up as the lady walked over to him. She wrapped her frail old arms around him and squeezed him with much more strength then he would have ever guessed a woman of her short stature could possess. “It’s so nice to finally meet you dear.” She stepped back and held him at arms length. “My you are a handsome one aren’t you.”

Shane felt his face grow hot at this person who didn’t even know him and was treating him so nice.

Don watched Shane edged with nervousness as to what his reaction to this woman who was suddenly all over him would be. He breathed a little easier when Shane smiled at her. Then sighed with relief when he told her it was nice to meet her too. He shook hands with Brian’s grandfather Ellis who looked as old as Esther but not so frail he was much taller and still had some good bulk to him.

Brian and Shane along with Shep took a walk down the beach and returned just in time to eat. They ate nearly everything Tad and Shane had made. Shane eating two and three helpings of everything. Esther commented twice on what a healthy appetite he had which only spurred him on more since he didn’t need to feel embarrassed about being such a pig.

While the adults sat in the chairs over the cliff after dinner. Brian and Shane played frisbee on the back lawn. Brian could hardly believe this was the same Shane he’d lived with for two months. His looks were not the only thing that had changed. His whole personality seemed more confident and happy. They’re game of frisbee turned to Monkey in the Middle when Shep came back out of the woods from his pee and jumped up between them to catch the frisbee each time it went back and forth.

Shane threw some lower ones so he’d reach them in between the ones he purposely threw higher so he couldn’t not that Shep didn’t still try.

The sun was just starting to set out over the water when Shane hugged Brian goodbye and their car left the driveway. Tad approached him and put his arm over his shoulder. “That wasn’t so bad was it?”

Shane looked up at him and smiled. “Not so bad at all. I’m almost looking forward to starting school next month.”

“Which reminds me I gotta go call Aaron.” He started to take off but was quickly pulled back by the neck of his shirt. He looked up at Tad fearful at first then relaxed a little when he saw he was smiling.

“That Shrink is pretty useless isn’t he?”

Shane sighed he had not said anything cause he thought Don and Tad liked him. Shane still hated him with a passion and had still not confided anything to him. “I just don’t like him Tad. He may be a good shrink I don’t know. I’m just not comfortable talking to him.” He looked at him fearfully again not sure what Tad would say.

Tad smiled at him again. “Don’t look at me like that Shane. I’m not gonna get mad at you. You are the one that has to see him and if you don’t like him then you have every right to tell me so.”

Shane took a step away from Tad just so he could get a better angle for studying his face. He studied for about 30 seconds then averted his eyes to the house. “I don’t like him. I don’t want to see him anymore.” he said it quietly and rubbed the back of his neck something both Tad and Don realized he did when he was nervous about something.

“Okay, we’ll find someone else.”

Shane snapped his head back and looked back up at Tad. “Can’t I not see anyone. I don’t like shrinks in general.”

Tad put his hand on Shane’s shoulder and started leading him inside. “I’m sorry buddy. You’ve been through too damn much to deal with it all on your own.”

“But Aaron helps he gives me advice and stuff.” Shane said as they ascended the front steps.

“I know, and I’m glad you and Aaron are so close. But he is not a therapist. You still need to see one. Just make sure this time if you don’t like them you tell us a little quicker. Give ‘em at least a couple sessions but after that if you still don’t like whoever it is let us know.”

Shane stopped just inside the front door and turned back to Tad who was closing the door. “Are you mad at me cause I didn’t say anything before?”

Tad turned and put both his hands on Shane’s shoulders. “We never told you to tell us. We never asked you for your advice. How could you have known? It’s our fault as much as it is yours. We should have asked and we should have known you wouldn’t just come right out and tell us.” he led him over to the couch and they sat down across from Don who had set the book he was reading down in his lap and was listening to their conversation.

Tad looked over at him. “We are discussing the shrink situation.”

Don nodded and looked at Shane who was now looking at him. “He’s right Shane we should have asked you. We are all, including you, new at this family thing. We all have a lot to learn and we have to be patient with each other. Tad and I have learned through this situation that we need to ask your opinion on things. Especially when they affect you directly.”

He got up and walked over and sat down on the other side of Shane. He put his hand on his thigh. “I like our little family, in fact I down right love it. I love having you here and I love seeing you grow more every day. But Tad and I aren’t perfect and if you don’t tell us when something is bothering you we probably aren’t always gonna know. You have to trust us not to get mad at you when you give an opinion. Your opinions count just as much as ours do.”

Shane could almost feel his heart growing bigger. He couldn’t understand his luck at being able to live with these two wonderful guys but was tired of questioning it and worrying he was going to be sent back home. If it happened it happened but he didn’t want to waste any more time on worrying on it.

He looked down at Don’s hand and put his hand on top of it. “I like our little family too.” He could feel his eyes burning with tears and knew it was cause the word family had come out of his mouth.

Don smiled his own eyes burning and ran his hand down the side of Shane’s face. “People are gonna know you are not our real child though you are too handsome.”

Shane furrowed his brow totally confused then looked up and saw Don was smirking. “So you know then that I couldn’t be your real child anyways.” He said grinning along.

“Well I heard someplace that two men can’t make a baby.”

“Did you guys ever think on having kids? Before I came along?”

“We thought on it. Just didn’t consider it something we really wanted to do. When you came along we thought on it again and decided it was something we really wanted to do. And so far we have not regretted our decision in the slightest. Did you ever think of having parents before we came along?”

Shane grinned. “I did. And other then the fact that I have two fathers instead of a mother and a father I’d say this is pretty damn close.”

Don’s tears fell in earnest and Shane blanched sure he’d said something wrong. “I’m sorry,” He said squeezing Don’s hand. “I don’t mind really.”

Don smiled through his tears let out a slow breath and shook his head. “It’s not that Shane. I’m just real pleased you called us father’s just now.”

Shane’s mouth hung open a little not really knowing what the big deal was. He turned his head and looked at Tad who looked ready to cry himself. “Well that’s okay isn’t it.”

“Of course it’s okay” Tad put his hand over on Shane’s shoulder. “It’s a real honor actually. An honor we both feel blessed to be a part of. Don’s just a bit of a cry baby.”

Don snorted. “Could you be serious for five minutes.”

Tad grinned at him. “I’ve been serious for like ten now Don.” he squeezed Shane’s shoulder. “I totally agree with everything Don has said. We are both real happy with our decision.”

Shane hugged Tad then he hugged Don. “I’m real glad with your decision too.”

Don looked at Tad over Shane’s shoulder and smiled, Tad himself had tears running down his face which he was quickly trying to wipe away.

It was a dreary and rainy mid August day which Shane was feeling was very appropriate from the back seat of Don’s car. He looked behind him more then ahead wanting only for the car to be heading in the other direction back home to Tad and Don’s house rather then heading to Prescott Cove.

He knew though that it was the last time he would ever have to go to the town and had told himself hundreds of times over the last week that he would survive this one day. He turned his upper body back around and sank back against the seat. He watched the wipers squeak back and forth across the front windshield but the quiet rhythm of them did nothing to calm his fears. Today he would see his father. Today he would see Medusa. Today he would have to tell all or they wouldn’t be put in jail where they both belonged.

He’d talked on the phone with Aaron for four hours the night before. Aaron had told him as he had on many other occasion leading up to this week that this was his time to pay them back. To make them pay for every terrible thing they had ever done to him and if he let it slip by he would regret for the rest of his life.

Aaron had told him to hold nothing back the more he told the more they would pay. He knew that in doing this there would be things he’d have to say that he’d told absolutely no one about yet. He prayed he would just get to talk to the judge alone as the prosecution lawyer was trying for.

He let out a long slow and very shaky breath when Don pulled the car into the courthouse parking lot. The courthouse was small and dilapidated like everything else in Prescott Cove. He looked down the street just next door where the post office was in the same building as the police station and jail. All three places giving him the creeps as he thought back on the change that had allowed him to be caught by Bart and the basketball team plus his time in the jail cell which he actually remembered very little of. He had not believed Don when he said he’d been there two days as to him it had seemed more like five minutes before he woke up and found himself in his own room and in his own bed at Don’s house.

Don turned back to him and smiled assuredly. “You’ll make it Shane. You faced him for years. You can do it this one last time.”

Shane nodded and tried to look confident despite his withering insides. Seth and Matt had both wanted to come to give him moral support but he did not want them hearing anything he had to say and had finally swayed them. They both promised they would see him that night as Sam had promised he would call.

Don, Tad and Shane got out of the car and walked into the courthouse. Before them was a hallway with chairs lined up between the doors on both sides. Shane smiled at Brian who was already sitting in one beside his grandmother, his grand father sitting on the other side of her. He walked over and sat down beside him then looked up at Tad. “Are we allowed to sit together?”

“Sure,” Tad said smiling as he sat down by him.

Esther leaned forward and smiled over at Shane. “You guys will get to talk to the judge alone. The lawyer just came out and told us.”

Shane leaned back in his chair and pressed the back of his head into the wall he looked up at the ceiling and said a silent thank you figuring if there were a God he needed to be thanked for this great deed. Tad squeezed his thigh seeing his relief. Brian put his arm through Shane’s and laid his head down on his shoulder. Shane could tell he was as scared as he was by the slight trembling of his arm.

He put his head down on Brian’s and they sat there in their fear the adults smiling sympathetically at each other over their pressed together heads. They did not move until an hour later when Brian was called into the courtroom. Shane jumped up and gave him a hug before he walked in and Brian accepted it gratefully.

Brian was gone for well over an hour when he came back before Shane could ask how it went he himself was called in. Brian squeezed his hand and smiled the same reassuring smile Shane had given him. Shane followed a man in an officer’s uniform that he’d not seen before into the courtroom.

He saw his father sitting with another man he didn’t know behind a table and to his relief his father wasn’t looking back at him. He was led to a man holding out a bible and though Shane could almost feel his father’s eyes boring into the back of his neck he refused to turn around. Refused to look at that ugly man’s face unless he absolutely had to.

Once he was sworn in the judge stood from his bench and motioned for Shane to follow him. Shane walked around the judges tall bench which was incredibly fancy especially for being in Prescott Cove.

They walked through a dark wooden door. He waited just inside the door while the judge closed it. The judge then put his hand on Shane’s shoulder and guided him over to a chair in front of a very large highly polished desk. Way too fancy for Prescott Cove. He thought as he sat down. The judge sat on the other side of the desk and Shane looked around the rest of the room. The rug and the curtains were a perfect match of a deep cranberry sort of color the walls and shelves were the same color wood as his desk and all were highly polished.

He moved his eyes back to the desk which was stacked with files on each side sort of framing the judge sitting there in the middle. A name plate was facing him on the edge of the desk. The judges name was Horace Metcalf. What a terrible name Horace.

“Well Shane. I imagine you must be feeling pretty nervous right now so I think I should start by telling you there is nothing at all to be afraid of. I realize you probably don’t want to talk about what you have to talk about today that’s why I decided to talk to you in here. I thought it would be easier for you then in front of a room full of people.”

Shane nodded. “Yes sir, thank you.”

“I’m also not gonna make you just tell me everything from beginning to end. I’m gonna ask you some questions and I’d like you to answer them all as in depth as you can.”

Shane nodded again gripping the material of his pants tightly already feeling himself breaking into a sweat despite the air conditioner that was humming in the window beside the desk.

“Since we plan on doing both your father’s and Mrs. Knowland’s trials today I’m gonna ask you questions about both of them now. First I’ll start with your dad okay?”

“Yes sir,” he cleared his throat as he’d barely squeaked that out.

“I understand your grandmother raised you until you were five. Do you have any memories of seeing your father while you were living with her?”

“No sir,”

“Did he call on the phone or send you anything in the mail?”

“Not that I remember but I don’t really even remember living with her.”

The judge nodded and made a note on the yellow pad that was opened below him on the desk with a few pages already flipped over. Shane thought they must be the notes of what Brian had said.

“Do you remember when you moved into your father’s house?”

“Sorta.” Shane said thinking deeply. “I remember the police took me over. Gram had died while I was at school. The police came and got me out of school and took me to my dad’s place.”

“Did you understand your grandmother had died?”

“Well yeah but I didn’t really know what died meant. I thought she’d be along to pick me up.” Shane looked over at the window and the air conditioner he could see a spider web stretching up the window. He focused on that and continued. “She didn’t show up that day so I just kept waiting. It wasn’t til like years later I stopped looking for her.”

“What do you mean looking for her?”

“Out the window. I was waiting for her car to pull in you know.” he glanced back at the judge then back over to the spider web.

“So your father never explained to you she wouldn’t be coming?”

Shane let out a short and very bitter laugh his eyes narrowed and a shot of hatred towards his father blazed through him. “He was the one that told me to wait. Every time a car pulled in and I didn’t happen to be at the window he’d yell my gram was there and laugh his ass off when I went running to the door.”

“Did he make you wait by the window?”

“No, but he said if I wasn’t ready when she came that she may leave without me. So I kept my stuff packed and I waited. I know now it was dumb but people believe in Santa Claus at that age so I guess me believing my gram was gonna show up doesn’t seem so bad.”

The judge nodded and smiled kindly as he made more notes. “Back then, when you were first there did your father hit you much?”

Shane nodded. “All the time.”

“What sort of things did he hit you for?”

“Well if I didn’t do something I was supposed to, like flush the toilet or take out the trash. If I talked to him, if I didn’t look at him when he talked to me. If I cried.”

“What sort of things did you usually cry about other then your father hitting you?”

“My brother hit me too. I’d cry if he hit me and I cried when he picked on me. He broke all my things that my gram had given me and wrecked all my clothes. I think I cried for a week over that one.” He smiled shyly though the memory of Austin ripping his teddy bear apart limb from limb while he made screaming sounds like the bear himself was screaming made his heart ache.

“What were your father’s punishments like?”

“There were all different kinds sir.”

“Okay what was the punishment for crying over your wrecked things?”

“He tied me to the bed and hit me with his belt.”

“Were you clothed?”

Shane shook his head not sure why that would matter much.

“How many times on average did he hit you with the belt when he used that particular punishment?”

“Sometimes a dozen, sometimes so many I lost count over fifty.” he said with a small shrug.

The judge wiped his hand across his forehead and he could see that he was sweating too. He looked from the web to the air conditioner wondering if it were really working.

“How often did you get punished like that? On average?”

“Couple times a week usually.”

“Name another way he used to punish you?”

“He’d just punch me or kick me. Depended on if I was standing up or not really. Whichever way was easiest for him to do at the time. He used to kick me out of the house at night, he used to make me clean the whole house. He used to take me to work on the docks with him.” Shane stopped and took a deep breath. “He used to drive me out of town beat me up then make me walk home. He used to not give me food. But that was only when I was younger.” He looked at the judge. “When I got older he never fed me at all or allowed me to eat. He sometimes locked me in the closet, a few times he beat on me with his tools, one time he chased me around the house with the kitchen chair caught me too but I don’t remember too much after that.”

“He beat you unconscious then?”

Shane nodded.

“Did that happen a lot?”

“Well quite a bit. More so when I was younger.”

“Did he ever talk when he wasn’t yelling?”

“Not to me. He was always real mad. He hated me I knew that real early on.”

“Did he say why?”

“Cause I killed my mom.”

“You mean cause your mom died during child birth?” he asked cocking his head to one side and studying Shane.

“Yes sir,”

“You don’t think you really killed your mom do you son?”

“I know I didn’t do it on purpose. But I still did it.”

“You seeing a therapist son?”

Shane nodded and the judge luckily seemed satisfied with that.

“What sort of things would he yell at you?”

“That I was stupid, I was lazy, I was good for nothing, that he hated me. That he’d kill me if he thought it would bring my mother back. I was ugly, I was a sniveling coward. I was queer, that I’d never amount to anything. That I ought to be God Damn lucky he took me in. Without him I’d be in a gutter somewhere getting shit on by better people. That he treated me good compared to how anyone else would who would have to put up with me.” Shane took a deep breath feeling himself on the verge of tears now that he was feeling pretty confident that most of these things weren’t true it almost hurt more for reason he could not understand. A tear slid down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away. He glanced at the judge and his apologetic look did little to make him feel better.

“You want to take a break for a minute?”

Shane took another deep breath and shook his head just wanting to get this over with.

“Did your father treat your brother the same way?”

“No, he wasn’t all out nice to him either but he treated him a lot better then he treated me.”

“Did your father ever defend you against your brother?”

“No.”

“Did your father ever see your brother picking on you?”

“Yes,”

“What did he do?”

“Joined in.” Shane said almost able to taste the bitterness in his voice. He had absolutely wanted to disappear all the times that his father and brother ganged up on him.

“If you had the chance would you want to say anything to your father?”

“No sir,”

“So you would be happy never to see him again?”

“Very happy.”

The judge sighed and stretched out his arms before turning over another page in his yellow pad.

“Now let’s move on to Mrs. Knowland. Describe the circumstances around you first meeting her.”

“I came home from school one day and she was just moved in. She asked me if I was his son and I nodded. I was a little dumb struck and a little pissed off. I had the place to myself three days a week and didn’t want anyone moving in and ruining that.” He rubbed his sweat soaked hands along his pants then grimaced seeing the long wet smear it created. “She told me to clean up my clothes in my bedroom cause her son was in there.” He shrugged knowing that wasn’t really what she said but could not remember her exact words. “Or something to that effect.”

The judge held up his pen and scrunched up his face. “Sorry I gotta go back to your father for a minute I forgot a few things.”

Shane nodded his heart sinking just a bit.

“Did you ever have a bed or any furniture growing up? After you moved in with your father?”

“No,”

“And where did you sleep?”

“On the floor.”

“You and your brother shared a room right?”

“Yes sir,”

“But he had a bed. And furniture right?”

Shane nodded.

“Did your father ever buy you clothes?”

“No, I wore my brothers old things.”

“Okay,” he flipped his page again then looked back up at Shane. “Was Anna Knowland ever nice to you?”

“No sir, she was very rude right from the beginning. I was rude to her too. She came in and starting making up all these rules. Like curfews and telling someone where I was going. I know now that, that is the proper thing to do but if I’d told my dad where I was going before he would have just told me to shut up or something.”

“Now suddenly she was there telling me exactly what I could and couldn’t do. I didn’t follow her rules but I tried to stay out of her way. She got my dad punishing me twice as much and was always trying to kiss me and touch me where I wasn’t comfortable being touched.”

“You mean your genitals?”

Shane felt his face grow red and nodded keeping his eyes fixed on the floor. “The more I kept trying to get away from her the harder she tried the more she got my dad to punish me. I started staying away from the house all the time but no matter what time I got home even if it was the middle of night my dad would get up and beat me into oblivion I was passing out all the time now. After about a month I just couldn’t take it anymore so I started following her rules.”

“You mean doing sexual things with her?”

“No,” Shane said adamantly. “I never did that willingly. She still got real mad but didn’t tell my dad every time so I wasn’t getting hit as badly as I was when I wasn’t following any rules.”

“Did she ever hit you?”

“She slapped me a lot. And used to put her cigarettes out on me. She always had one in her hand.”

“You said you never did it willingly, did she get her way anyways?”

Shane nodded and his tears started in again. “My dad used to tie me down to hit me with his belt. She used to too but face up. She did whatever she wanted I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even fight being tied up, cause I’d stopped going to school and was eating very little. I had no strength.” He furiously wiped at his eyes and took several deep breaths after a couple minutes of him composing himself the judge spoke again.

“Was she part of the reason you got kicked out of the house?”

“Well sort of. She wouldn’t let me in the house when anyone else was up. I had to stay outside and I had to stay on the property.”

“Why was that?”

Shane closed his eyes and took a deep breath not wanting to tell this man he was gay in fear it would ruin his case. But since it was a big part of the reason he saw no other choice.

“My friend Sam had come by one day. We are more then friends.” He looked up at the judge cautiously but by the kind look on the man’s face he got the feeling he already knew this. “She said she knew what my problem was now and didn’t want me in the house. Didn’t want me to disease her kid. She made me stay outside and burned all my clothes. One night when I was sitting on the porch my principal showed up. I guess that ticked my dad off cause as soon as the principal left he came out of the house. He beat me up and told me he was done with me. If he saw me again he would call the police. That they would take care of me and I could rot in jail. He told me I had an hour to get off his property.”

“Why’d he give you an hour?”

“Cause I was hurt pretty bad cause of him kicking me and stuff. I couldn’t really move right then I guess he knew that.”

“So since that night when you were kicked out have you seen your father or Mrs. Knowland?”

“No sir,”

“They haven’t tried to contact you in any way?”

“No,”

After leaving the judges chambers Shane walked back out in the hall not looking at his father once and not even seeing his woman though she’d been there in the front row of spectators glaring at him.

Shane waited in the hall with Brian while his grand parents then Tad and Don were all called into the courtroom.

“How’d it go?” Brian asked once they were left alone.

“Good I think. How about you?”

“Good, that judge seems real nice. I don’t know if they’ll go to jail but I’m pretty damn sure we aren’t gonna have to live with them again.”

“I say if we do, on that off chance we make a plan right now to just run away.” Shane put his hand on Brian’s and squeezed it. “We’d be better off on our own. Course don’t think I’ve got experience there.” he grinned. “I didn’t do to well last time I was on my own.”

Brian smiled warmly. “Yeah but now you know how things should be. You wouldn’t do the same thing you did before.”

Shane nodded. “I know, so we make a pact then?”

Brian pulled his hand out from under Shane’s and they shook on it. “Most definitely.”

The courtroom door opened and Don waved them inside he stood between them and pulled their head together in front of his mouth. “They are ready to say the verdict for your dad. I thought you guys would want to hear it. This afternoon we have to stay for your mom’s trial Brian but Tad doesn’t you three can go out and come back at five.”

They both nodded and Don led them over to the last row where Tad and Brian’s grandparents were already sitting. The judge came out said a lot of things that made Shane want to jump up and hug him including the fact he felt both boys were bright and level headed and should never have been treated with the hate and cruelty they were subjected to by Roger Campbell.

He said the name Roger Campbell like it had venom dripping from it. Almost the way Shane pictured it in his head. The jury announced their verdicts guilty on all counts, 2 of child abuse, 2 of child neglect and 2 of child endangerment.

Shane reached out with both hands, took Don’s hand in one and Brian’s hand in the other as the judge prepared to announce the sentencing. He announced different sentences for each crime and Shane tried to do the math in his head but before he got to the answer the judge announced his total.

“Fifteen years with no ability for parole. After which time when you are released you are to have no contact with either Shane Campbell or Brian Knowland. If either of them report any contact or harassment by you, you will be returned to prison and another trial will be held.”

Shane laid in bed that night feeling safer then he’d ever felt before. He stroked Shep’s head absentmindedly as he stared up at the ceiling. He was never going to have to face his father again and couldn’t think of any better thing to happen.

Anna knowland whose name he now knew had been sentenced to ten years with the same stipulations after her release that his father had gotten. Brian was safe with his grandparents and he was safe with Tad and Don. He could feel his old life burying away deeper and deeper and a new life opening up before him. He wasn’t the same person he’d been all those years. He didn’t feel like the person his father had told him for so long he was.

His dream was coming true he had his dog and he had two parents. His next big step would be school and it chilled him to the very core that he would be the one to ruin his own dream. That he would himself not be able to pull off making friends.