Fleeting Eternity - 5. Jealousy

The food and experience at Brick and Fire were always superb, though potentially expensive. Additionally, the process of getting through ordering told Tad a few things about Nate.

"Uh," Nate looked over the menu, "how much was that bottle of wine?"

"$49 for the bottle." Tad watched as Nate flinched a little.

"Oh. All right." He bit his lip and frowned worriedly at the items on the paper menu in front of him. "I will probably just get the mushroom cobbler."

"The appetizer? That's it?" Tad already knew Nate was on a tight budget. Luckily, Tad had been flush with work, and his bank account looked relatively healthy. He shook his head. "Why don't you get one of the entrees? I'm craving poultry, but the oxtail special only shows up occasionally, and it's excellent."

The pained expression on Nate's face only lasted a moment. The man forced a smile. "Ah, I'm not really hungry. The cobbler will be fine." He laid his menu down on the table and nervously sipped his wine.

Tad let him sit there a moment, then he leaned across the table. "I'm buying." He smiled. "Work has been steady and well-paying." He motioned at the half-empty bottle of wine on the table. "I wouldn't have ordered the bottle without confirming the cost was okay if I didn't expect to pay."

Nate's face fell. "But I asked you here." He looked utterly stricken. "I ..." Nate slumped in his seat. "Shit." It was apparent he had intended to pay for their meal.

Tad smiled at him. "How much money did you bring?"

Nate grunted, and his freckled nose wrinkled in a frown. "$120."

Tad grinned. "Well, that'd typically do it, but just hang on to it. I want to splurge a little. Get me another time." He waited until Nate looked up at him, then he continued, "Okay?"

Nate smiled slightly, and he nodded. "All right." Then his eyes brightened. "You want there to be another time?"

Tad picked up his glass, and he looked over the rim at Nate. "Depends." His smirk was only partially hidden by the glass.

Nate grinned.

Their server returned. "I'll have the Brick Bird, please. The scalloped potatoes and balsamic vegetables for the sides sound great." Tad handed his menu to the server, and she turned to Nate.

"Ah," he glanced at Tad then he looked back to the server, "the oxtail special, please."

Tad nodded in approval as the server walked away. He held out his glass of wine, and as Nate moved to toast him, Tad grinned. "Good call."

The young men chatted and Tad found Nate to be an interesting guy. Before he knew it, their food arrived, though that didn't stop the conversation. Nate spoke with an unusual passion about something called "bioremediation," and how that was the answer to cleaning up the planet of all the damage humanity had caused.

"It just sucks, you know?" Nate shook his head between bites of food. "Even when I go backpacking, I see trash and damage caused by people. It makes me sad. With the amount of plastic on the planet, we need to do something exceptional to clean it up."

"I can tell it bothers you," Tad nodded in agreement, "and it should." He set his jaw. "The only mark we should leave on the world and on other people should be something positive. We should make sure to make an effort to be remembered for that."

Nate gazed at him, then he frowned and glanced down at his plate. Tad cocked his head. "Did I say something wrong?"

Nate reddened, and it was apparent thanks to his pale skin. "Uh, I'm pretty good with the whole 'world' bit. I'm not so sure about the 'people' part." He shrugged a little helplessly. "People can be so sensitive. You know?"

"Really?" Tad popped a braised carrot into his mouth and chewed. He swallowed with a sip of wine. "You're a pretty smooth guy." Tad grinned as Nate reddened even more. "I'm sure you could figure out how to deal with sensitive people if you wanted." Tad waved his fork. "Those are the ones who need the most understanding from others, you know."

The redhead quietly stared at his plate for a few beats. His mouth worked, and Tad saw something like guilt on his face. Then he looked up. "Yeah. You're probably right." He sighed. "I guess I can try."

"That's all any of us can do." Tad found this side of Nate fascinating - the unsure, out of his element, fumbling side. What had initially hooked Tad's interest was the confident, attractive facade Nate presented to the world. Yet, this hidden slice of who Nate was made Tad want to delve deeper. 'Maybe there's more to you than a pretty face.' Tad thoughtfully examined him through the rest of their meal.

They finished up, Tad paid, and the guys began on the leisurely walk back. It was now dark, though the streetlights showed them the way without an issue. Tad was warm and tingly from the phenomenal food, wine, and Nate's company. While walking, he decided how he ultimately wanted the night with the handsome redhead to end.

They arrived back at his door. Nate was suddenly awkward, shy, and he swallowed nervously. "Uh, I had a good night." Nate rubbed the back of his own head, and he looked a bit unsure at Tad.

Tad smiled. "Yeah, same here." The dark-haired man stepped up close and put his hands on Nate's hips. "I don't think I'm ready for it to be over. How about you?"

Nate's stare grew intense and he pulled Tad toward himself until their groins were against one another. The contact instantly began a reaction in Tad, and his body started to respond. "I'm not ready for it to be over, no." Some of Nate's confidence returned and he leaned in.

They kissed under the light of the porch and, once again, Tad's mind fired with all sorts of impulses related to desire, hope, and lust. The kiss drew on and his hand gently migrated to the back of Nate's neck.

A full minute later, their lips pulled slowly apart. Both men breathed into their shared space, and Tad chuckled. "Wow." He turned and opened the door. "Come on."

Nate let himself be led into the apartment. The little black shape of Kali stood near her bed beside Tad's desk, and she meowed when the men entered.

"Oh, hang on." Tad closed the door, disentangled from Nate, and walked into his kitchen while the black cat followed closely on his heels. "It's past feeding time for Miss Kali."

Nate walked behind and watched as Tad fed his little kitty. "Kali? Like, the dark Indian goddess of protection and destruction?"

"Yes!" Tad laughed as Nate correctly guessed where the name for their pet originated. "We named her that because she was such a little holy terror when we first got her - just tearing up everything! I'm surprised you know who Kali is!" He patted her as she ate. "She's a lot calmer now, thank Buddha."

Nate chuckled at Tad's choice of words. "Well, I told you I'm a geek. I read a lot."

"That's pretty sexy, you know." Tad straightened and leveled a smoldering look at Nate. He stepped up next to him, and the guys again pressed together. Tad wet his lips, and he gently nibbled on Nate's neck. "I want to do terrible things to you, Nate."

"I, I don't think," Nate's jaw dropped as Tad's hand rubbed over his erection trapped under his clothes, "I don't think that word means what you think it means," he said, in the best Inigo Montoya impression he had.

Tad grinned, instantly getting the pop culture reference. "Mmmm. Man, you are a geek."

They made out and Tad slowly led them to the bedroom. On the way, clothes began to peel off, layer by layer. They each got down to their underwear, Tad in his gray boxer briefs and Nate in his black and red briefs. Both guys seemed content to take their time, and while Tad held Nate in his arms, a particular desire sparked in his mind. He ran his hand down Nate's spine, and his fingers dipped below the waistband of the redhead's briefs.

Nate gasped as Tad began to tease his way down his crack. "Mmm. Ah, fuck."

A grin spread on Tad's face. "My ex was the top in our relationship, so I've not gotten to screw in a while." He continued to rub, and then his finger began to trace around the muscular ring of tissue at Nate's entrance. "Is this okay with you?"

"God, yes." Nate panted, his face against Tad's neck as his fingers continued to tease him.

Tad took one more moment, then he stepped back, and he pulled Nate's briefs down and off of him. Then Nate's eager, shaking hands did the same to him. The men looked at one another.

Nate shook his head, and he reached down. His hand wrapped around Tad's bare, uncut cock. "I love this." He stroked Tad, moving the foreskin back and forth over the head and shaft.

The dark-haired man breathed as Nate played with him. If things kept going, he'd get off just with the attention from Nate's hand. Tad gently reached and gripped his wrist to stop the motion. Then he nodded at the bed. "Lie down. On your back."

Nate did, and he watched as Tad pulled out a condom from his nightstand. Lube followed, and then he climbed up on the bed, between Nate's legs. Tad had purchased the items yesterday at their local sex shop in the anticipation that things might develop into a physical interaction. He kissed Nate and rubbed a slippery hand against his ass, teasing him anew with his fingers.

He shifted and lined his erection up with Nate. Then Tad began the process of entering the redhead.

Nate let his neck relax, and his head went back. "Ahhhh." The entry was easy from Tad's perspective, thanks to his teasing from earlier. As they continued to kiss, Tad's hips slowly pressed forward. He was alert for any sign of discomfort from Nate, but the redhead seemed to enjoy every moment.

"That's all of me." Tad smiled down at Nate, and the man under him grinned. "Tell me if I hurt you." Tad began to move his hips in that instinctive, primal fashion, and he let his body do exactly what it was that it wanted to do.

Nate groaned, and his Adam's Apple moved as he swallowed. The red hair of his groin caught dribbles of precome from his cock as it drooled in his grip. Tad could tell that Nate had no complaints.

Tad leaned over and kissed the moaning, writhing man beneath him as he moved. He tried to make things last for Nate. Tad wanted the redhead to get off. It was a part of the experience for him - Tad had an intrinsic need to please his sexual partner. Knowing Nate was having a good time was necessary, and luckily it was evident that the redhead was definitely having a good time.

"God. Ah, ah, fuck." Nate's voice wavered, and his hand gripped his penis. He had stopped masturbating, but a steady stream of fluid oozed out of him as Tad's cock massaged his prostate. His eyes rolled back. "I can't stop it. I'm gonna come." He resumed stroking, and the muscles of his torso all tightened up.

Tad breathed, and he allowed himself to drive toward his end. Nate moaned, and he shot semen onto his belly while Tad began to orgasm with a thrust and a hold of his hips. Tad left his dick speared deep into Nate for a couple of seconds while the redhead's body contracted around him, then he continued to thrust until he finished.

Nate blinked up at Tad, his breath puffed as the man recovered from their coupling. Then he swallowed, and something like a confused smile appeared on his face. "Wow."

Tad smiled, and he leaned back on his haunches. "You all right?"

"Yeah." Nate laughed as he lay there. "This was intense." He blew out a breath and closed his eyes.

Tad gave him a moment, then he pulled his hips back. The dark-eyed man stood up and pulled off the condom. "It was, definitely." He wiggled the used condom at Nate. "I'll be right back."

He walked into the bathroom, and the condom went into the garbage. Then he returned to the bedroom. Nate had sat up, and he stood when Tad reentered. "Okay, my turn for the bathroom."

Tad grinned in understanding. As Nate used the bathroom Tad got his boxer briefs off of the floor and put them back on. A few minutes later, Nate returned. He fished around in the chaotic mess of clothes they left behind, and he too put on his underwear.

"So, you probably shouldn't drive anywhere, Nate," Tad said to the redhead. He smiled and motioned at the bed. "You can sleep with me, here, or on the couch. Wherever you're most comfortable."

Nate swallowed, and he looked at the bed. "Is, ah," he nervously glanced back at Tad, "is it weird I've never stayed over with a guy before?" He cringed a little as he made his confession.

Tad cocked his head. "Really? You've never actually slept with another man?"

Nate shook his head. "It's weird, huh?"

Tad smiled, a bit of bemusement in the expression. "It's strange, yeah. But there are stranger things in the world. Like I said, you can take the bed with me or the couch. I like to snuggle, but I won't be offended if you take the couch."

Nate moved his jaw as he thought, then he nodded. "I'll take the bed. If that's really all right."

"Yep." Tad crawled in, then he patted the bed in front of him. "Come on."

Nate clambered onto the bed, and he rolled so that his back was to Tad. The dark-haired man pulled up close so that his front was flush with Nate's spine. He grinned and patted Nate's flat, hairless belly. "Welcome to spooning."

Nate chuckled. "Ah, it's kinda nice." He lay quietly for a moment. "I had a really good time with you tonight." From the tone of his voice, it almost sounded like a confession.

"Yeah? Me too, Nate." Tad rubbed his face against the nape of Nate's neck. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Tad."

Tad often had trouble sleeping. He had so much on his mind, and so much worry that it was difficult to quiet his thoughts and simply rest. Not tonight. Within a few minutes, his body relaxed into the warm man in bed with him, and he slid off to dream.

∞

Nate lay awake. It wasn't because he was uncomfortable or restless. Instead, he was awake because his mind thrashed around as he tried to examine what was happening to him.

'Dude, what are you doing here? You got what you wanted, and it was fucking amazing, but this isn't you. You don't fucking snuggle. You don't spoon.'

Nate swallowed, and he bit his lip as he thought. The weird intensity of the sensation in his belly had never let up. He felt as if he were on the wildest part of a roller coaster every moment he was with Tad.

He gently put his hand over Tad's, which draped over Nate's middle. Nate slowly let his fingers trace along Tad's motionless limb. The only movement from the dark-haired man was his breathing, as he slept peacefully behind Nate.

'You need to back the fuck off. You need to get up and get on the couch.' Nate's inner voice had a peculiar, wavering tone. 'Go on.' It felt like a last-ditch effort of some slice of himself as he fought against something inexorable.

Nate's fingers stopped moving. He lay there, thinking. Then he frowned.

He let his hand close over the top of Tad's - warm and comfortable. With a deep sigh, Nate went to sleep tangled in Tad's arms.

∞

"What do you mean, Sheila's not your type?" It was late, and Shane sat at his kitchen table across from his best buddy, Markus. Heather - Shane's wife and Markus's friend, had gone to her sister's with their small son to give them time together. “Dude, she’s smoking hot, and she’s interested.”

At the insistence of Shane earlier in the evening, Markus had reluctantly gone for drinks with a beautiful, tall blonde who worked with Shane. He fidgeted and picked at a piece of lint on his sleeve. “She just doesn’t do it for me, you know?” Markus's nervousness spiked. “I’m, ah, I’m starting to think it’s not gonna happen.”

Shane frowned with incomprehension on his face. “You're a good looking dude, but that won’t help if you stay this picky.” He shook his head and took a drink of the Bud Light, then Shane pointed the bottle at Markus. “I’m going to stop trying to fix you up, man. Whatever else that happens is on you."

Relief flooded Markus. “Okay.” He nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Shane looked critically at him then grimaced. “You know, the guys have started to ask if you’re a fag.” Shane’s expression showed what he thought of that. They had a loose group of friends they played cards with - guys they kept in contact with from their high school days. “Don’t worry, I told them that I wouldn’t hang out with a queer.”

Markus’s throat tightened. “Yeah?” He chuckled uncomfortably. “Well, just because I’ve not found the right chick doesn’t mean I’m gay.” He swallowed. "Right?"

“Exactly.” Markus raised his bottle to his friend.

With a smile that was at odds with his twisting, desperate emotions, Markus clinked his drink against Shane’s.

∞

Nate didn't wake until the sun began to brighten the room as it peeked through the east window. He blinked, and he realized quickly that Tad wasn't in bed.

He got up, stretched as he stood beside the bed, and then he wandered into the hall. Nate poked his head into the living room, and he saw Tad sitting at his desk. He has dressed in a pair of comfortable-looking shorts and a t-shirt. His cat was on his lap, and he had one hand on her, while the other held his stylus and he drew on his tablet.

He turned his head when Nate appeared. "Hey. Good morning." Tad scratched his kitty when she wiggled on his lap. "You sleep okay?"

"Mornin'." Nate smiled and scratched himself. "Yeah. Slept really well." He grimaced. "Hang on, I'll be right back."

Nate padded down the hall to the bathroom, and he sighed as he urinated into the pot. He stood there, staring down. 'What now? This is weird. Do I just go?' He finished and shook things clean. 'I don't want to go. I've got the day off. I could hang out with him. If he wanted me to.' Nate clenched his jaw, and he stuffed himself back into his briefs.

He turned and walked back to the living space. Tad was still at his desk, continuing to draw. Nate leaned against the doorway to the room. "Hey, what do you have planned for the day?" He tried to sound non-committal, but he wasn't sure how well he pulled that off.

Tad looked at him, and he frowned in thought. "Well, I thought we could get breakfast." He made a noise. "Ah, that is if you don't have other plans."

"No. I don't have anything else planned." Nate grinned. "Breakfast sounds great."

"Cool." Tad put down his stylus, then he gently lifted Kali up off of his lap. She complained a little, but he put her down on the floor and stood. "Okay. I've only got the one shower." Tad walked toward him and Nate's knees felt a little weak as the man leveled an intense stare at him. "You all right getting wet with me?"

"Uh, I think I can manage." Nate's heart thudded in his chest when Tad pressed himself up against him.

"Good answer." Tad grinned, and he leaned forward to kiss Nate.

∞

Tad was having a great day. He and Nate had spent a long, satisfying time in the shower together, and then they went to eat at The Green Lily, a breakfast spot in Old Town. Afterward, Nate invited Tad over to his apartment just a few blocks from The Green Lily.

"I like your place." Tad's eyes took in the furniture, decorations, and the minimal yet functional style of the apartment. "It suits you."

Nate grinned, and Tad found that expression incredibly endearing and handsome. "Thanks." He waved a hand over the living room. "I mean, most of my furniture is from thrift stores. But I only pick the best stuff there."

"Hey, it works." Tad sat on Nate's couch, and he pulled his bag up into his lap. "You mind if I draw it?"

"No. Not at all." Nate smiled at him, and he walked into the kitchen. "You want some snacks? I've got nuts, cheese, and stuff."

"I'm not hungry right now. Thanks, though." Tad got his tablet and stylus, and he began to roughly sketch the room.

Soon, Nate returned with a small platter of cheese, almonds, olives, and pickles. He crunched on a nut as he looked at Tad's work while he drew. "Man, that's so cool."

Tad smiled. "I'm glad you like it."

"I do. Would you mind if I looked through some of your work? There's so much there, I am pretty curious to see it." Nate put the food down on the coffee table, and he sat beside Tad on the couch.

"I don't mind." Tad saved his current tab, and he selected the first tab - where he had begun his attempt to tell his life story with comics.

Nate took the tablet, and his eyes roamed over the pictures. "Wow. You're so talented." He started looking, and he paused on a drawing depicting Tad and a muscular, broad, brown-haired man. They were together, locked in a kiss. They were also both naked, though the way their bodies pressed together hid their groins. "Damn. That's sexy." He looked at Tad. "Is this your ex?"

Tad sighed, and he couldn't keep the pain from his face. "Ah, yeah. That's Christopher and me."

Nate watched him, and he looked back down at the comic. Though it seemed as if he didn't see the work anymore. "You still love him, huh?"

Tad lay back, and he looked up at the ceiling. "I'd be a liar if I said I didn't." He nodded. "Yeah, I still love him."

Nate was quiet, and he looked at a few more pages. Many included Christopher and Tad together. They were depictions of simple scenes from everyday life, and it was obvious that they were happy. He took an audible breath. "So, can you tell me what happened?" His blue eyes looked curiously at Tad. "You said once that you know he loves you." Nate shrugged. "If you love him and he loves you, then, what happened?"

Tad was suddenly not having fun. "He and I had a difference of opinion. Look, I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk about it."

Nate frowned. "Sorry." He handed the tablet back to Tad. "I wasn't trying to pry. It's just," he shrugged, "from the pictures you drew, you guys looked really happy."

"We were." His voice hardened. "But, shit happens. Sometimes, really bad shit." Tad stood up. "Hey, I'm gonna walk home." He put his tablet away, and the strap of the bag went over his shoulder.

Nate stood with him, a minor panic on his face. "Shit, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I'll leave it alone. I'm sorry."

Tad made himself stop his train of thought. 'Easy. You're upset, but not with Nate, not really. He just doesn't understand.' Tad took a breath and turned to Nate. "Look, I'm fine. Honest." He forced a smile. "You and I are also fine. Okay?" Tad watched Nate relax a little. "I'm just gonna walk home, but I'd like to see you again this week. All right?"

Nate appeared relieved. "Okay."

Tad bid Nate goodbye with a smile, then he left the apartment. The walk home was just over a mile, but the weather had cleared and Tad needed the time to think anyway.

He put the strap of his bag in a more comfortable position, and he tried to enjoy the rare sunny weather of the North Coast Winter.

∞

Nate sat and munched on dill pickles as he mulled over his afternoon with Tad. 'Why would they break up? That's just weird.'

He slowly chewed, and then he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Nate unlocked the device, and he selected the photo app. He stared at the last picture he had taken, just earlier that same morning.

"Christopher, 230 Wabash Apartments." There had been a yellow post-it on Tad's fridge with that short note. While Nate was in the kitchen alone, he'd snapped the photo so he could come back to it later. Now, Nate found himself curious about Tad's enigmatic ex-boyfriend for several reasons.

He ran his tongue over his teeth. "I could go check this guy out."

Nate was not the kind of guy to compete for a dude. He just wasn't. But everything was turned on its head with Tad. He picked up his jacket, and soon he was in his car, driving east, away from Old Town and deeper into the city. Though he'd never admit it, there was an overriding reason for his curiosity.

For the first time in his life, Nathan Hughes was jealous.

∞

Christopher got home. He had the early shift today, and he finished up at two p.m. He parked and got out of his truck, happy to be able to relax. As he walked through the breezeway, he offhandedly noticed a guy who was parked across the street as he got out of his car.

He found his door key, and Chris unlocked his place. Then he stepped inside.

"Uh, excuse me? Are you Christopher?" Chris turned. That same guy he'd seen exiting the car was there. The fellow had red hair, pale skin, and eyes that were a stunning shade of blue. Chris inhaled as he recognized the man. 'Tad's date.'

"Yeah?" Chris kept his face neutral, though he was thoroughly shocked to see this guy standing in front of him. "That's me."

The redhead nodded, and he stuck out his hand. "Hi, I'm Nate."

Chris shook Nate's hand, and he frowned at the contact.

Nate made a face. "Uh, sorry." He released Chris and rubbed his sweaty palm on his pants. "Can, can I come in? I'd like to talk to you. Uh, about your ex?"

Chris eyed him. "Sure." He stepped aside, and Nate walked in. Chris shut the door then turned to look at the fellow.

Nate gave him a searching smile. "Sorry to drop in on you." He exhaled and shook his head. "I've been hanging out with Tad, and, ah, I admit, I was curious about what you're like."

Christopher crossed his thick arms over his chest, and he straightened to his full 6'2" height. He was gratified to see Nate quail a little. "Oh? Wanted to get a look at the ex?"

Nate looked as if he were going to deny it, then he scratched his head. "Uh, yeah. I guess so."

Chris cocked his head. "Well," he held his arms out to his sides, "what do you think?" He was dressed in his greasy overalls from work. But Chris knew that even though the clothing was baggy to allow movement, it still couldn't hide that he was a muscular, strong guy.

Nate looked Christopher up and down. Then he bit his lip, and he shook his head. "I think I don't know why Tad would let you get away."

Christopher didn't know what he expected to hear, but that wasn't it. He frowned. "Tad told you why we split, right? You guys are dating, he had to have told you."

"I don't know if I'd call it 'dating'." Nate frowned. "And he hasn't told me anything about it." He looked at Chris, his blue eyes suspicious. "What does you guys splitting up have to do with anything?"

'Shit. Shut your fucking mouth. Don't fuck this up for Tad.' Christopher pressed his lips together into a thin line. Then he sighed. "Look, I want things to work out for you guys." He stepped close to Nate, and the redhead looked a little nervous now that he was within arm's reach. "When it happens, when you know, and you need to talk," Chris wet his lips, and he nodded, "then you can come talk. I'll be here."

Nate stared at him. "What the hell does that mean?" He frowned and stepped around Chris toward the door. "Look, thanks for the uh," he waved his hand, "whatever this was." He crossed the room and opened the door. "I'm sorry to have bothered you."

Chris watched as Nate left and the door closed behind him.

Christopher stood alone in the middle of the room, and he stared at the door. The next words out of his mouth were uttered in total, assured confidence.

"You'll be back."