Wow....like really messed up vibes
Entry posted by xander
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Okay, as you all know, I'm in love with my best friend Justin....and you all know that even if I could get up enough courage to tell him at least that I'm gay, he's been seduced by an evil siren whore aka Whorena. But then theres still the chances that he's not gay 
:( ... well last Friday and up until today, our chorus class has been excused from regular classes for our christmas concert rehearsal. There's this kid that sits next to me named Brandon and he's kinda cute and over the past couple days we've kinda became in a way friends. If you just heard some of the shit he said, you would swear he's gay...he like refers almost everything back to "cock"..."god that smells like cock"...."that stuff tastes like cum"...he says it most likely, kiddingly, but it's as if he was trying to hint to me that he's gay or something. And he kept wanting me to get up and go to the pop machines with him, so I have been and stuff. We were talking about Ron White and I was repeating his homophobe story thing...for your ammusement, goes something like this...
This one guy I know is like a huge homophobe, and let me tell you that's like one of the stupidest things you can be. I say to him,
"we're all gay, its just to what extent are you gay"
"I aint gay!"
"Okay then. Tell me something, do you like porn?
"Yea, I love porn, why?"
"Well do you only like scenes with two women?"
"No, I like seeing a man and a woman making love"
"Well do you like the man to have a small, semi-flaccid penis?"
"No, I like big, hard, throbbin COCK! ......... I did not know that about myself..."
And then after him saying all the stuff he had said, he's like (before I told the whole story, he interupted me at "homophobe"), "I'm a huge homophobe" 
And I thought Justin sent weird vibes...
That was today during rehearsal, then tonight at our concert, he was saying more stuff like that, and he was saying that different things were making him horny ... oo la la ... lol .... if anything I think he's bi because he, I can tell, definately likes girls too...but I'd like to get to know some other gay guys at school and stuff...theres for sure one openly gay guy at my school, but I've never talked to him, he's always hanging around girls and stuff, and he seems like a cool guy to get to know...I kinda made one of my kinda-friends look like an asshole one day about him...the gay guy is in his genetics class and he was saying something about getting partnered up by the teacher for something and he says, "I'm glad I wasnt his partner". I say with a completly smirk-less face, "Why?"...he's like, after a few seconds pause, "I'm not a homophobe, its just that..its...yea.." and he shut up, realizing he had already made an ass of himself. Then there's this RJ (like 18-19 I think) I used to work with at KFC...he was sooo cute and had a great smile. I never found out if he was gay, a few people had said he was, and I had kinda suspected it, but its not like I was gonna go and ask him. I find out the other night that he lives two blocks down from me, and I had seen him outside and he told me to come over sometime...I'd like to, but we used to live in the apartment building he lives in, and it used to have roaches and that is not a memory I want to relive...lol..
So I guess the point of all my jumbling is what if Justin isnt gay ? I've kinda been reserving myself incase he is, and I think I've hurt a few people in the process , and I dont want to do that anymore. But I guess I need to consider if he isnt .....yea...just thinkin and confused guys...
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