A few day's ago I got a call on my way home from seeing Joe that one of my residents passed away unexpectedly. Not a good call to get when you're driving down I-195 at about 75 miles an hour (okay I was speeding so sue me). Thankfully I had the peace of mind to pull over right away and calm down before resuming my trip home.

When I got home I told mom what happened (she worked with the same client when she was at Arc) and told her how I was feeling, which is hard to explain, but I tried. I told her I was really sad, angry, confused, baffled and upset. She said that it's normal especially when you work with someone as much as I have and helped them just as much.

Well, here's where it gets a bit more fun. I've been going for the past few weeks to Robert Wood Johnson Medical school, namely the Elizabeth Boggs Center on Developmental Disabilities and taking some continuing education credits on working with those that have Developmental and/or Intellectual Disabilities, and taking courses on behavior assessments, mental health support and a few more classes that I have yet to take but am registered for. Well, when I went into work yesterday I was asked to do some extra work with the guys, namely to do a Functional Behavioral Assessment (aka a FAB) for 9 clients (A FAB usually takes about 3 hours).

Well, it's stressful to do one, let alone do 9 of them, and on top of grieving for my client myself, I'm still managing to get my paperwork done since we have state inspections this month, talk to the clients as needed to help them and help some of the staff. Pretty much we're in Crisis mode since this happened. Oh and to top it all off, we're short staffed, so work really isn't fun right now.

I'm dealing with all of this the best way I know how, playing some video games, writing a bit and drinking lots and lots of Starbucks (and doing the usual thing of calling Joe or my mom or someone when I'm really just down in the dumps).

I'm gonna miss my client, even though I worked with him for almost a year, I've known him for over 15 because my mom brought me to this program when I was younger to introduce me to the guys and show me that those who are developmentally or intellectually disabled may need a bit more help with things, but are amazing in their own way, and this client was amazing in so many ways.

He's in a better place now and I'm certain of that and every time I go in to work, I remind myself of that because it makes it easier to get through the day and have a smile on my face and be strong for my other clients. It's hard as hell, and it's gonna be rough, but I'll do my best for their and my sake.

Basically if I seem spacey or short tempered, you know why (and writing this blog is helping because it's helping to get a lot off my mind).

Eric