Entry posted by Andrew Q Gordon
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So today started out like crap, seemed to get better then ended like a ginormous turd.
First I got written up at work - first time in 20 years - guess I shouldn't be too upset. While yelling at my supervisor in court with the judge on the bench is wrong and I guess I deserved to be written up for it, her being completely incompetent and screwing up my case - I ended up losing btw - seemed perfectly reasonable to me. The big boss did some checking - thankfully she IS competent [she didn't hire my immediate supervisor but was saddled with her when she got the job] and realized that I was mostly right. But even if I am right she told me I couldn't do it in court. Hold out your hand, smack - letter doesn't go in your personal file - Union Rep went with me, didn't say a word, drama over. Whew, not so bad.
So then my Burglary trial that was looking like it was going down in flames got an enormous boost when evidence we couldn't find was found and all the pieces were/are falling into place WOO HOO. Bad day turning good.
SO then the baby momma drama begins. As part of the contract with the surrogate, we are obligated to purchase her health insurance - she doesn't have any. In February we sent her the money for the application for the State Insurance for Pregnant woman. She didn't make the application for a month, then didn't do it right and finally last week got all the pieces into place and the state was reviewing her application. She was turned down. 
Turns out, she applied for the wrong insurance. When we started the process with her, she made X amount of money at her job. That was enough to qualify for the insurance. CA has two types of insurance for uninsured pregnant woman - the one for middle income woman and then the no cost insurance for those of limited means.
We never wanted her to be on the low income insurance, it was not nearly as good. But the other one was pretty good. It wasn't free but it wasn't terribly expensive. Prior to her pregnancy, we could have gotten her a blue cross/blue shield policy, paid the premiums and for a year and been set. But that was a lot more money so the plan was to use the middle income policy and give her the extra every month. We talked it over and that was the plan. But the caveat is you had to wait until you were pregnant to apply - making it far too expensive to get a reg insurance policy at that point.
Sadly, unknown to us until she was already pregnant, she hasn't paid her taxes in two years. As a result she has her new employer paying her in cash under the table. Her reported income didn't meet the threshold number and she was rejected and told to sign up for the low income policy.
Okay so now comes the problem. To get the policy, she has to list the dad - me. IF we get a pre birth order - the one that terminates her parental rights prior to birth, there is a decent chance the State of CA will come after us for the cost of her medical care. So now the options are - 1) Not terminate rights until after the birth and hope there are no issues oh and then have to do a second party adoption for with Mike. or 2) go ahead with the termination order and hope we don't get hit with a huge bill.
Neither are good options. The only reason we did this in CA was for the pre birth termination of her rights AND that the birth cert would list Mike and I as parents - neither listed as the Dad etc AND it would keep her name off the certificate. Otherwise we could have done this right here in Maryland. Doing it the other way could put us on the hook for $20K in medical bills or more. There is also the chance, though I think it is exceedingly remote, they could charge us with fraud. But since we would not be signing the documents they would have a difficult time proving we committed fraud. But even the need to defend against that would be expensive.
Leaving us between the proverbial Rock and Hard on, all because she didn't tell us about her desperate bit to defraud the government. We are also without any good remedies. I mean how do you express your anger at her? The biggest reason we are so pissed is she isn't getting any medical care at the moment. So bitching about it and making her pay for it because she wasn't honest with us would do what? Make her forgo seeing the doctor to avoid paying for it? Oh yeah that's an option. And unlike other contracts, this really isn't one we can 'void.' forget how much we've paid, the baby is alive. We can't 'cancel' that.
This doesn't even fall into the oh well, live and learn category - it's well beyond that. Mike is extremely upset because it had always been our intention that the birth cert would list us both. Now it won't. He is so mad at her he wants nothing to do with her anymore. He feels because of her, he is getting written out and she is being written in. He's not all wrong, but to me it doesn't matter so much. But it does to him and him not being the donor, I suppose it's a legitimate feeling.
Gonna be a rough next few months.
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