I ask him if he goes to a therapist and I tell him about mine but he says that his family doesn't believe in shrinks and walks away.

This is when his mother omes to me and tells me that she's sorry. Her son apparently has a tendency to lie, To lie alot and he can't help it. I ask her about a therapist and she says that he's been to so many and none ever work.

Green-

What you have seen is the dark side of being gay and living in the closet. Lies become so many and complex that some forget where the lies end and the truth begins. It becomes second nature to lie and eventually they lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.

This is one of the common troubles that some gay people experience when they live in a family in which they receive the message being gay is completely unacceptable. I have seen this occur in several variations among Southern gay people.

Growing up gay is a psychological gauntlet that few escape undamaged- some more than others. Please understand that what you are dealing with is a person with problems not the incarnation of evil. He may well cause you a lot of annoyance and trouble, it is a a test of your character as to how you deal with him. You can simply cut him off and chose to be annoyed or listen to your better nature and try to help him.

This will be very difficult. People who get in this pattern have a hard time getting out and often cause chaos for everyone around them.

This may well be something you might bring up with your therapist as to how you might proceed.

This mission, should you decide to accept it, will be long, painful and confusing.

Should you be captured, killed or go insane, the director will disavow any knowledge of you or your activities.

Good luck Mr. Green.

This blog reply will self destruct in 10 seconds.

:nuke: POOF! :nuke:

Hey Green,

I just read the rest of the story. Sounds like the poor kid does have quite a few issues. I agree with James, he needs help, it was good of you to suggest your therapist. Let's hope he decides he wants to change.

On another note, I hope you did something awesome and sweet to make it up to poor Chaz. I feel sorry for him being stuck in the middle like that, especially when he behaved correctly.

Anyway I hope everything works out, have an awesome day.

Kevin

Yeah, I'd say you definitely need to make it up to Chaz. No offense and all, and I know events as portrayed here are colored some but... Damn, Green, you're hard on the people around you. Some slack may be in order, if you want people to stay around you.

Apologies are important when you've done something wrong (and sometimes even more important when you haven't done anything wrong) but after a while people prefer you skip the apologizing for hurting them and go straight to the not hurting them in the first place. That's not always possible, life being what it is, but keeping the moments of pain to a minimum is a good thing.

-Dan

Green....as James said living in the closet it hell, especially with family members being homophobic and unaccepting. The boy does need help and a life line. As James suggested, speak to your therapist and if you decide to help him, get the proper tools so you can assist him.

As to Chaz, give him lots of loving...and first ask questions then listen...I have learned in life that listening is an art form. I listen all day long to clients...patience is a virtue and we all have stories to tell. It seems that Chaz is very geniune and honest...both rare virtues to embrace and hold onto for dear life.

In the meantime, slow down...take deep breaths.....and a while back James suggested (one I concur with) that perhaps less parties may help. It seems alcohol does ugly things to those that over drink and then the drama starts...seems as if you and Chaz could use a lot of quiet bonding months so your relationship gets the love and attention it and both of you deserve:)

All the best always, Green!! Hugs too...give some to Chaz too!

Michael

Hi guys thanks for your replies.

I've learned alot from Chaz. One thing is that he is amazing in every way and like you said he does deserve the best and he is very genuine thats why I dont question anything he says. The sad part is that I'm very gullible when it comes to the people I know. If they tell me something I take it as truth. I don't question my friends unless two are telling me different stories. I don't want to seem like the person that doesn't understand them that is why they always come to me with their problems or hide them from me because I will tell them the truth. I wont lie to them as I expect that they are truthfulll to me. The boy now hates me because his lying led me to accidently out him to his homophobic mother and he's now staying at my mothers house because his mom can't deal with him. She thinks he's lying again, sadly this is the truth.

As for the alcohol, well I know my limit and most of the time I will stop at two drinks. At the party the only drinks I consumed were the two I took from the boy and selene who was cut off after that. But you guys are right alcohol seems to insure a disastrous night.

Thanks Guys

GREEN

The boy now hates me because his lying led me to accidently out him to his homophobic mother and he's now staying at my mothers house because his mom can't deal with him. She thinks he's lying again, sadly this is the truth.

Green

You shouldn't lose any sleep over outing this guy. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Given the many, many lies this kid has spun around himself, how were you supposed to know?

This bit where he lied about Chaz- I've heard it called wishcraft: that is where a person has lost his grip on reality. His truth is what he wants it to be. This poor guy has likely NEVER had anyone that he could risk being honest with.

You should caution your Mom that when this guys "reality" does fall apart, it is likely to be very dangerous for him.

-JS