But I Always Followed the Rules - The Question is Why?
I'm having one of those days. There is no other way to put it. I hate it, but that is life.
I had a miserable day at work. Add to that I'm feeling lonely and life hasn't gone nearly anything like I wanted it to.
I am the poster boy for following directions.I've always done all my homework, I never cut school, I don't call out of work for a day at the beach, or anything else. I balance the checkbook, give up treating myself to make ends meet, and worry about how I can help others. I graduated as a Valedictorian of my undergrad class, and am sitting three credits shy of master's degree because my mother died and well I just haven't gone back.
I work a crappy job because I can't find one that pays in the field i have a degree in. So coming home after work should be good. Wrong.
I graduated college. I followed the rules. I am somehow the screw up.
My brother dropped out before he was sixteen. He doesn't have a college degree. He is a marriage where infidelity is rampant on both sides.
Yet he makes over 300,000 a year and I barely break 30,000. Someone tell me how this makes sense.
Then I come home to my father, for who I gave up my life in Connecticut, because his health was failing, my mother had died, and he was lonely.
So for that I walked into the house tonight to be told I am evidently a world class failure. I'm single with no prospects and evidently never will have any. He is afraid what will happen when he dies to the dog. Oh, and as an after thought to me too because I will not be able to afford the house with the prices NY has in taxes all, and the dog needs to be taken care of too. Evidently he isn't sure I can remember to feed her either.
But at least he knows his youngest son won't let me starve.
Yup, makes me feel wonderful to know I am so useless. Can I curl up now? Sorry just needed to get this off my chest before I scream or whatever. Can someone tell me again why it is I am the one who cooks, cleans, and does the food shopping, but the guy who lives half way across the country is the savoir? How does that make sense? Just lucky I guess.
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