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Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


lagomorph

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I read this article yesterday about how Chuck Norris apparently has this cult following among college-age people. My dad's favorite show ever was Walker, Texas Ranger, so I've quite unwillingly seen a lot of Chuck Norris in my day. For anyone who has no idea what I'm talking about, sorry, you can leave now. Anyway, there were some pretty hilarious lines from the story I thought I'd share.

 

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

 

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.

 

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

 

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

 

Chuck Norris does not go hunting because "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

 

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

 

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

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