I was gone for most of the weekend, having taken the three plus hour drive up to see one of my best friends. I'll forewarn anyone reading this that I am going to ramble a bit. My best friend is twenty four and could literally be my daughter. She is young enough, but she is a sweetheart. I've known her since she was nearly eighteen and seen her grow up. We operate almost on a father/daughter level. I was there when her grandmother died, her father walked out of her life, and done all I could to help her and by extension her family. When my mother died she dropped everything to help me hold it together and help my family. To say we are close is understatement.

Her wedding is the end of next month. I am so excited for her. I know she has loved her birthday gift, (it was London blue topaz pendent so she would have something blue for her wedding day). She has tried to brow beat me into telling her the price of the service set I bought her for the wedding day that has her name and the groom's, as well as the wedding date on it.

We talked, cried, and spent a lot of time just playing catch up like two old friends. She wants me to take time off this fall and go with her and soon to be husband on their first trip as a married couple. Actually she wants her closest friends to go down to Disney/Harry Potter this fall for the Not So Scary Halloween at Disney and then go over to Universal for Harry Potter in October.

I'm also processing the details that two men I had once fallen for are getting married themselves in July. In fact one day apart from each other. One I know would never in a million years have worked and even now, he is marrying a woman and keeping another man on the side. The other is marrying and all I can do is wish him well, as he marries the man that finally got him to say "yes" to a wedding.

Then I came home last night to also find out that someone who I kept trying to keep the lines of communication open with is no more. A woman who at one time acted as my rock, but dropped me when her bf said she was spending too much time talking with me and not him. For three years I've tried to reconnect only to be rebuffed or ignored. I didn't know she had been diagnosed with cancer. I hadn't been told how sick she was. It was only when her brother left a message on my phone last night asking why I hadn't shown up for her funeral that I found anything out at all. It seems the man she loved walked out on her a month after she was diagnosed and she didn't want her old friends to know how stupid she had been. So instead of allowing us back in and mending the bridges and being there for her, her final days were spent alone with her immediate family. All of which thought her old friends were the worst people in the world for not coming to see her. I'm sick thinking what could have been, what help I could have given, but all I can do is remember the times we shared and forgive her for not having faith in me or her other friends.

So my life has been a bit of a roller coaster ride the last few days. I know it will be that way for a month or more. Sorry if things are a bit slow getting out. Just going to have to be patient with me.