One of our newer members was discussing coming out.

I put together a post that I think addresses the topic rationally and succinctly.

This is my response:

______________________________

Coming out is a very much an individual thing. It can be very tricky but it is something that you get to decide for yourself.

You owe it to YOURSELF to do it right.

You DO NOT owe it to the mythological "gay community" to come out at all costs and injure yourself and your future in the process.

You could either be in Canada or California. Both places have very liberal attitudes right beside very conservative ones.

I remember a guy whose Mom was very liberal and gay friendly until he came out. She said that's fine for other people but no son of mine is going to be a f-ing faggot.

While there are tons of happy happy, joy joy coming out stories, there are a lot of shitty ones too.

It's a process and you need to think it through because you can only do it once and there can be permanent consequences.

There are some points to seriously consider:

• At this point in my life is it right for me?
  
• How will my family react
  
• How will my friends react
  
• How will the effect my work/school
  

At this point in my life is it right for me?

You have to think about where you are. A 16 year old living at home will have concerns that a 25 year old colloege grad living on his own does not.

How will my family react

The problem here is that you might not guess right.

How will my friends react

If you are in high school, trusting the wrong people can set you up for a lot of misery.

How will the effect my work/school

A serious consideration. Will you become the school fag and the butt of all sorts of bullying and humiliation or are you in a school that wouldn't tolerate that sort of rubbish?

There's a lot to think about.

DON'T PANIC.

There's no time limit. You get to do this at your own pace or even not at all if you are uncomfortable with it.

The best plan is for you to be completely comfortable with it beforehand because I guarantee- the more confident you are, the better it will go.

________________

PS- Never, ever, ever say I think I'm gay. This implies that you aren't sure and those that aren't with it will want you to go to quack doctors to be fixed.

The right thing to say, with confidence, is that I am gay. That doesn't leave wiggle room for quacks.

You aren't broken. You don't need to be fixed.

Best of luck,

James