2 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said:

I do wonder how the PMs are going to start. I want open discussion. However; their are some things I won't share publicly.

i think we are waiting for Jay .. 

3 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

i never read it and don't want to.  i am not abused that's all i can tell you

of that i'm sure of.

2 minutes ago, Drew Espinosa said:

 

Then I won't touch on that topic and focus more on actual BDSM relationships.

why?  if you've read something and have a question, you should ask it. if you have r/l Doms willing to share, take your chance. They aren't always so forthcoming. Well at least mine isn't.

Ok, I have a question...

In BDSM play there is usually a safe word to stop things getting out of bounds.

Within a D/s relationship is there something equivalent?

The first guy I was a sub for told me that we could have one but I never used it. Don't know if anybody else had that

OK, here's my answer: A safe word isn't necessary in a D/s relationship. Boundaries are already set and the Dom maintains control. 

Waiting for PM thread... 

@Freerider did you want to join the group pm?

1 minute ago, JayT said:

@Freerider did you want to join the group pm?

Ehm.. I am not sure... I am not a D nor s. But I do have some questions.

Am I not supposed to ask in this thread?

2 minutes ago, Freerider said:

 

Ehm.. I am not sure... I am not a D nor s. But I do have some questions.

Am I not supposed to ask in this thread?

you're fine....I'm not a D nor an s nor have I been active in the BDSM lifestyle in at least 15 years

2 minutes ago, JayT said:

you're fine....I'm not a D nor an s nor have I been active in the BDSM lifestyle in at least 15 years

Oh, ok then...

I am always interested to learn about things I know nothing about.

2 hours ago, MacGreg said:

OK, here's my answer: A safe word isn't necessary in a D/s relationship. Boundaries are already set and the Dom maintains control. 

 

Waiting for PM thread... 

i have one cuz i wanted it but i've never used it Michael knows me well enough and so far He's able to tell when if something is too much if we've decided to go to the next level

18 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

i have one cuz i wanted it but i've never used it Michael knows me well enough and so far He's able to tell when if something is too much if we've decided to go to the next level

Thanks for returning to this for a moment. I hadn't finished my thought on it, which is that a safe word or gesture isn't necessary when the D/s relationship is built on absolute care and trust. That,  plus communication and the Dom's ability to read the sub's reactions (there has to be some intuitiveness there, which a good Dom should have) is paramount to successful handling. Mike clearly has that with you. It works, for both of you. 

1 minute ago, MacGreg said:

Thanks for returning to this for a moment. I hadn't finished my thought on it, which is that a safe word or gesture isn't necessary when the D/s relationship is built on absolute care and trust. That,  plus communication and the Dom's ability to read the sub's reactions (there has to be some intuitiveness there, which a good Dom should have) is paramount to successful handling. Mike clearly has that with you. It works, for both of you. 

yes ..i dont know but if feels like a lot of ideas people have come from 'online' doms and books they've read.  we've never used safe words but maybe some do i dont know

6 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

yes ..i dont know but if feels like a lot of ideas people have come from 'online' doms and books they've read.  we've never used safe words but maybe some do i dont know

I'm easy to read. Used gestures in one relationship.

I've been in and out of BDSM along with various fetish play, never used a safe word..

In practice, I enjoy the Dom role, but also enjoy sub role as well depending on circumstances and type of games that are being played.

BDSM isn't strictly sexual, there are a variety of games that couples enjoy, some erotic and other just physical. My last boyfriend and relationship was over 6 months ago, which had elements of BDSM.

3 hours ago, MacGreg said:

Thanks for returning to this for a moment. I hadn't finished my thought on it, which is that a safe word or gesture isn't necessary when the D/s relationship is built on absolute care and trust. That,  plus communication and the Dom's ability to read the sub's reactions (there has to be some intuitiveness there, which a good Dom should have) is paramount to successful handling. Mike clearly has that with you. It works, for both of you. 

There's nothing I can add, I agree completely. 

Thanks for explaining guys! 

2 minutes ago, Freerider said:

Thanks for explaining guys! 

Ask if you have questions. 

9 minutes ago, Freerider said:

Thanks for explaining guys! 

What did you think?

13 minutes ago, BlindAmbition said:

What did you think?

I was not thinking much

Maybe I was expecting that a safe word would somehow not be acceptable, because it gave control to sub.

But I am slowly getting educated here and see where my thought went wrong. 

1 minute ago, Freerider said:

 

I was not thinking much

Maybe I was expecting that a safe word would somehow not be acceptable, because it gave control to sub.

But I am slowly getting educated here and see where my thought went wrong. 

 

 The s has a lot of control

Mildly curious about the topic, have tried to keep up on the comments, but they are coming Fast and Furious like a couple of the Forum Topics. I know someone that would love more info to use in their erotic writing.

I was going to ask this in one of the threads, but I guess it's better asked here:  Does every sub call every Dom "Sir: and does every Dom call every sub "boy" (or the female equivalents thereof).  I only know two couples who are in D/s relationships: one is more for bedroom play (there is no Ma'am or boy outside of the bedroom) and the other couple is more fully integrated, and my friend's Dom would s**t kittens ifs she even raised her eyes to another Dom without his permission.  

This is more of a curiosity question about personal preferences for the two Doms in the crowd ( @MichaelS36 and @MacGreg and any others out there).  

17 minutes ago, LitLover said:

I was going to ask this in one of the threads, but I guess it's better asked here:  Does every sub call every Dom "Sir: and does every Dom call every sub "boy" (or the female equivalents thereof).  I only know two couples who are in D/s relationships: one is more for bedroom play (there is no Ma'am or boy outside of the bedroom) and the other couple is more fully integrated, and my friend's Dom would s**t kittens ifs she even raised her eyes to another Dom without his permission.  

 

This is more of a curiosity question about personal preferences for the two Doms in the crowd ( @MichaelS36 and @MacGreg and any others out there).  

Personally don't like tim to call me Sir, I prefer my full name. Other subs that are not mine call me sir. tim is my boy, even though he is also my husband. But each relationship is different it's up to each to decide. Also I'm not part of the averting the eyes thing. Because our scenes are mainly silent, tim has to look at me for clues, so we are eyes on. 

1 minute ago, MichaelS36 said:

Personally don't like tim to call me Sir, I prefer my full name. Other subs that are not mine call me sir. tim is my boy, even though he is also my husband. But each relationship is different it's up to each to decide. Also I'm not part of the averting the eyes thing. Because our scenes are mainly silent, tim has to look at me for clues, so we are eyes on. 

Thank you for answering, Mike.  I think the averting eyes thing is more for outside of their home.  She doesn't make eye contact with any other men, unless he invites her to look up at them.  She does look me, and others in our friend group, in the eye.  I honestly don't know what they do behind closed doors as it never seemed appropriate to ask her (and I doubt she'd be that forthcoming.. she's pretty private).