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32 Candles

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Okay, so tonight I celebrated my 32nd birthday with my niece who just turned 23. (She was born the day before my 9th birthday- I on December 7th and she on December 6th.) My family has been doing joint birthdays for us forever. This year, we were having it at Red Robin. So it's me, my mom, 2 sisters, 2 brother-in-laws, 3 nieces, and 2 nephews. One sister (the one with the daughter turning 23) and her entire family is basically on a vegan diet.


So me and my mom show up late, which is strike 1. I thought we were supposed to be there at 6:30, but it was apparently 5:30. Then my vegan sister bitches about my mom bringing an ice cream cake, which is strike 2, because she got this custom ordered vegan cake. I knew that would happen, so I asked my mom to get me just a small ice cream cake that would just be for me and maybe her and my non-vegan sister, and that would be it. She didn't listen to me, and instead got a larger cake that could serve 8-10 people and had my niece's name put on it along with mine. (Which I told my mom repeatedly before that the niece wouldn't eat because she's vegan.) Then my mom, who is braindead with social cues, decides to make jokes about my Vegan Sister's lifestyle, which again brought out her pouty face. Strike 3 happened when my mom didn't finish her cake, and the nephew that is on the Vegan Diet threw a hissyfit because his mother wouldn't allow him to eat the cake. The sister then just picked up a bottle of ketchup and squirted it on the leftover ice cream cake. She basically seemed to be starring daggers at me and Mom as we left.


I was pissed because so much of this could have been avoided if my mom had actually listened to me when I told her that she only needed to get a 4 person cake. The only reason why I asked was because I knew that otherwise I'd have to have the niece's vegan cake, and I wanted my own little non-vegan cake. I'm also just pissed that this stuff always seems to be a big fucking issue whenever we have family get-togethers, to the point where my mom actually hosted a secret Thanksgiving dinner not on actual Thanksgiving and didn't invite my Vegan sister and her family to. The problem is that her son (he's about to turn 5) throws all these little hissyfits about not getting to eat non-vegan food whenever we have get-togethers. Like tonight he kept staring at the Caravel ice cake in its box and then he tried pouncing on the leftovers of my mom's slice of the ice cream cake. So therefore the Vegan sister continually tries getting us to not bring non-vegan food to family events.


I kind of wish I had done what I did last year and just celebrated my birthday by taking up a train to Philadelphia and hanging out around Center City for an afternoon. FAR less stressful.


But yeah. I just feel pissed. Honestly, I didn't even give a shit about getting a cake. I'm just tired of feeling like I have to kow-tow to my sister's vegan diet at every single fucking turn, to the point of her trying to rope me into eating a cake I don't want to eat because it's "for everyone." That's why I tried having another cake brought in that would have just been for me.


And I just get tired of my mom not listening to me. She insisted on getting this bigger cake, that I knew was mostly going to go waste, and then snapped at me when I pointed that out to her. Then she admitted after we got home that I was right, and she should have gotten the smaller cake.


Anyway. Yeah, I don't think I want to do this kind of thing anymore, if it means having to go through THAT again. I'm 32 anyway- I really don't need birthday cakes and the candles and all that anymore. I won't have my next milestone birthday for another 3 years.

I think for 33 I might just go to Philly or Baltimore or DC or something. Who the fuck knows? What I do know is that I don't want a repeat of THAT shitshow.

For my actual 32nd birthday I quietly had a celebration wacky wheat beer at Stewart's Brewing Company and then saw the Disaster Artist at Regal People's Plaza. That was nice. I'll just hold on to that. The next night, I met up with my friend Shana at Brio Tuscan Grill and had a few drinks before going to the holiday party at the theater. That was fun, too. I even got a handmade card from a few of the managers.

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Sorry you had to deal with that on your birthday. Your mother will never listen, no matter your age. Trust me on that. Your sisters family is in minority. You should not have to sacrifice on your damn day. Go enjoy your trip next year while they eat their cardboard tofu vomit cake. Happy Birthday!

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Ok, just what does an entire vegan family eat at Red Robin???


I can understand making the choice to go vegan.  I can even understand trying to have her son maintain a vegan diet.


I don't understand where she gets off trying to push her choices on you, nor do I understand a grown woman dumping ketchup over an ice cream cake in public! While I agree a smaller cake would probably have been better, it sounds like there are much bigger issues between mom and sister than vegan vs omnivore.


Dealing with family can be tough.  Next year plan a day that will please you! It's your day, you should enjoy it.


Do you and the neice enjoy each other's company?  Go out together, just the two of you! Leave the combative ones at home!



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I don't care if getting the bigger cake was a mistake, someone pouring ketchup on it would have to deal with my temper. >=[

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Sorry to hear that, I can't understand why people with specific dietary life choices cannot understand that that's their quirk, and shouldn't trying to force them on other people. 

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