So J is in a mental hospital and has been for a week or so.

But its not my problem cause he isnt my friend.

A while ago he went behind my back and talked shit about me to a mutual friend, who I was, at the time, messing around with. That person then told me and I confronted Jon about it. He said that everything he told Shawn (the guy I was f**king) was the truth, that I really was insane and untrustworthy and evil, and that he wouldnt ever mess around with anyone like me. Lets ignore the fact that Jons tried to make me sleep with him and when I said no, he says things like, "Doing this will keep me alive for the night."

He says tells his psychiatrist that Im the reason that hes in the hospital and wonders why I dont visit. And lets forget that he WANTED to be put in there in the first place because hes so weak he cant deal with the average stuff everyone deals with everyday. He asked to do this, like it was a f**king vacation. Im getting death threats from his family which is really nice cause they blame me for his pitiful attempt at suicide, if it could even be called that. This shit is just annoying.

Listening to: Peter Bjorn and John - Young Folks

Ive decided to move to New York City in a few months.

Formed a band. Well they were looking for a singer, and then we jammed together and they found that I can write songs, pretty much on the spot if need be, and they were like, youre in.

I havent had sex in like 2 weeks. Im practically a virgin. Im not liking this at all and its going to change.

Ive been really down for the past few weeks and Im not sure why.

Working 10-12 hours a day sucks.

Listening to: Nirvana - The Man Who Sold the World

Ive been writing a lot. About random things too. Big social issues (ie privacy in the 21st century) or musings on quantum mechanics. Meaning string theory. (I love string theory.)

Ive decided what my next book will be about. Its a epistolary novel. About love. This will actually by my first story with "love" as a major theme, but its about how love has become too domesticated. That the only way to be in love is to truly embrace it, that we must let go of security and embrace the radical alertness that comes with the fullness of feeling. At least thats the idea. I had a slight outline in my head but that went out the window halfway through the first letter. 4 are done so far.

The idea came to me after a BIG fight with John Paul (it got very bad.) But it started out about love in general, but now its kinda about him too which was unexpected. But inevitable I suppose.

And John Paul...yeah, I dunno what the hell were doing. Although getting into a fight so big the cops are called on you puts a damper on your relationship, if thats what we had.

And I finished my first series, The Harlequin. Im very happy about it, although the ending is the best. It took the longest time, by far, but its really good.

Listening to: Mama Cass - Make Your Own Kind of Music

My parental unit (the male one) has lung cancer or something. Im still working on getting full details. My feelings toward his probable impending doom? Indifferent.

I havent slept for more then 2 hours in the last week or two. Its great. But Im not sure why.

Thats it for now. Later.