There has been craziness afoot this past week in my life and there is so much to tell... grab your popcorn and settle in. This is like when your mom told you that you better go before you leave the house cause it's gonna be a long ride.

In no specific order:

Annemarie came home from her first day of band camp with a gift. Tradition, she says, for the seniors to give the freshman a gift. A notepad and pen to mark where she is supposed to be in each set on the field, a chapstick, a band aid, a tampon, and a condom... "You can't tell dad, he'll FREAK out!" I'm trying not to freak out myself. I tell him anyway. I'm not down with that keeping secrets nonsense. Randomly, there happened to be a mandatory parent meeting that night so after the meeting I hung around a few minutes until it cleared out some and then I went up to the band director and said, "As the paranoid mother of a thirteen year old girl, and I'm probably the coolest mom out there when it comes to this stuff," and he smirks at me, "I just wanted to let you know that she came home today with a gift," and he's nodding. "This gift was a notepad and pen, a chapstick, a band aid, a tampon... ::dramatic pause:: and a condom." From the look on his face, he clearly didn't know that happened and pulls out his phone and starts typing. I continue, "While I appreciate the spirit of the message they're trying to convey, my daughter doesn't even know how to use one of those." He looks up and says, "I hope not!" I'm not finished yet, "I think it's only half the message. You can't just give a thirteen year old a condom without the how and why and when part of the lesson, and if it's all the same to you, I'd like to give that to her myself." He's still typing, but says, "I'm not ignoring you, I'm putting this at the top of my to-do list for tomorrow." That's enough for me, so I thank him and leave.

I get home from work the next day, and I'm not even out of the car yet when Annemarie is running outside to ask, "Mom! Did you call Mr. B and freak out about the condom?" So, I go with the need-to-know verion of the truth, "No, I never called him. Why?" So she tells me that he came in to talk to them that morning and says that some moms had called and freaked out at him about that and then basically repeated verbatim what I had said to him. By this time, Rich is listening, and I'm making ask-her-what-she's-talking-about pointed looks at him, but he won't, so I say, "Annemarie, Dad wants to know what you're talking about." She turns a pretty shade of pink and suggests that I tell him, but I refuse. Now, with her back to him, and after she's told him he's not allowed to look at her while she's talking, she tells him about it. I point out that if all this nonsense is necessary to even talk about it, then she's certainly not ready to be having one in her posession.

A few days later, I'm volunteering at the pool party for 150 teenagers and I ask if Rich wants to come along and he says he better not, what with our daughter being in a swim suit and the ratio of boys to girls being at least 2:1. It was alright, and no drama, and she introduced me to a bunch of her friends and called me Mommy in front of them, so I think we're safe for another two weeks, maybe. While I was there, a girl showed up, and one of the booster moms filled me in on how she's a junior this year and missing marching season this year what with the way she's about to give birth and all... but next year she'll be back. So this is both the reason to give out condoms, and the reason that I want to give her the how and when and why talk because clearly, this 16 year old doesn't have it down.

We got a letter asking if we wanted to send our Jr. High student, Matthew, to Japan. Clearly they have misinformation since he's only about to be eight, but I think it has to do with him passing the GATE test in the 98th percentile and his almost perfect STAR test scores. They just want him for his gigantic brain, but they can't have him!

I spent my whole paycheck this week registering Annemarie for school and paying for part of colorguard. $100 for the yearbook/ASB card, $35 for pictures, $5 for the mandatory school planner, $160 for the first part of the participation fee, $60 for equipment, $45 for half of one uniform, $23 for the family preview night dinner. I still have to pay the other $45 for the second half of the one uniform and $120 for the other uniform, and supposedly she can raise the rest of the money selling stuff. Fair warning, everyone may be getting cookie dough for Christmas this year. I can selfishly say it's worth it though, cause when she comes home and says, "Mom, we learned a new routine today. Come outside so I can show you," and I go, she's smiling. And when she doesn't get something, I help her, cause I did this, too... 18 years ago. But then she passes over the rifle or the flag and I'm tossing it and spinning it and she's impressed and, "How did you do that?!" and Rich is telling me not to hit myself in the head... no faith!

Two videos for you to check out that made today a very good day before even 9 a.m. New Perspective and Brendon Urie - f**k her Gently

So, there is this HATE van that is parked in the parking lot where I work and I can't get over it! I've seen it a couple times before, but it's so ridiculous that I can't wrap my brain around it, so yesterday I took some pictures for you. It's like... at least he hates everyone equally, but I can't believe this idiot actually paid money for a personalized license plate that is a threat... Side of the HATE van and Back of the HATE van This guy parks and goes in the pizza joint next door and drinks for a couple hours and then drives home in his HATE van. Apparently drunk driving is perfectly acceptable to him and his God. WHATTHEf**kEVER!

So a while back when I switched stores, got new bosses, etc, my company decided to try out a pilot program for safety in our district. Typically it was some responsible, knowledgable associate who worked in conjuction with management to make sure that the store is following all the OSHA requirements and that everyone is trained and so on. So this was my job for years, and at this same time, the regional safety manager took an early retirement because both her parents have Alzheimer's Disease and are to the point they can't be home alone anymore. I applied for the opening, she even gave me a recommendation, and I'm definitely more than qualified, but I knew I wouldn't get it because they were downsizing at the time and had all these hgher up bodies they had to put somewhere, but I figured that the worst that happens is I get my name out there and they tell me no. At my new store, the new management has since seen my resume and know exactly what I am capable of and are attempting to use it to their benefit, which I understand, but I'm not into getting f**ked over again by them. Currently, the pilot program states that the Assistant Store Manager is the one who is to be responsible for all this now and he's asked me repeatedly if I'm interested in helping him and I decline every time and have said on a few occasions that if he wants to give me his paycheck and position, I'd be happy to be the Assistant Store Manager, and he can stand in the checkstand and make $16/hour. He doesn't like that much.

Well, the other day, he pretty much TOLD me I was going to help him because the District Manager and the woman who did get the job I applied for, but didn't get, were coming to the store for a big safety meeting since this store is a focus store. So, I did... can't really say no, and I spent a couple hours that morning walking the store making sure everyone had their slip-resistant shoes on, knew the safety topic of the month, that it's been 255 days since our last accident, and that they had a TIP (Towel in Pocket). I checked to make sure everything was as it should be, which, of course it wasn't since he hasn't been doing what he's supposed to for months now. We're sitting in this meeting and she's talking about how we can build a safety culture in our store by using communication, training, environment, etc... and she asks how we can do that with communication. I usually try not to talk much for a couple reasons. 1) then no one else speaks up, and 2) it seems like they don't know, and they do. So she's asking about how we can communicate safety to our associates, and inevitably, someone says 'lead by example' which is the thing drilled into your head when you become management. So she says, "Okay, how do we do that? How many of you have TIP?" Now, since I had been around that morning carrying a box of towels with me, every one of us pulled one out of our pocket, and their faces were priceless, and my boss leans over and says to me, "That was pretty sweet!" Yeah, you're welcome.

Someone, please publish me so I can make a living writing porn... I'm good at it, I swear!I won't let you down, legit!

Well, I think that's enough for now... I'd like to thank All Time Low for singing to me all blog. Check out their song Weightless. Pretty good lyrics. Their album Nothing Personal is teen pop rocky, but they have some good messages and lyrics and if you like to dance like I do, it's good for that.

There's one other band I've been following. They aren't signed yet, but will be... they're good, check them out. Play For Keeps

This just happened and amuses me greatly:

Viv: ahhh crazy moth!

Rich: ruuuuuun!

Viv: he can fly faster... i gave in and hoped he wouldn't attack me and make me flaily

Rich: flaily?

Viv: yeah, you know, arms flailing and ahhhhhhh

Rich: right!

Viv: we calls those adverbs

Viv:

Rich: i call it a made up word

Viv: like unswayed.... we all know how this turns out

Rich: :|

Rich: i am not swayed by your arguement

Viv: then you remain unswayed...

Viv: say it with me now, victory...

Rich: we are done with this

Viv: agreed *cough*loser*cough*

Rich: hey whats this ignore button do.

Viv: ahh the denial stage... sweet

Rich: i cant see you

Viv: because we're not in the same room, dear

Hugs,

Viv