So I'd been dating that guy from my last entry until tonight. Tomorrow would have been three weeks and I knew I just wasn't seeing it as a long term thing so we broke up tonight. I'm actually pretty proud of myself. I'm getting better at breaking up with people. I was kind but firm. In the past I haven't been blunt enough and things have been apt to drag on. I did fumble a bit though. I decided to approach it from the angle of, "now seems like a good time to evaluate where this is going, doesn't it?" From there I was going to lead into, "And I just don't think this is going to work long-term." Unfortunately after I broached the subject he said, "yeah, I was thinking maybe we should get more serious." Not what I was expecting. Made it suckier to go ahead with the break up too. He took it pretty well though.

The problem was the conversation...there wasn't much. It seemed like all we ever did was make small talk. Personally, I'm one for long, in-depth conversations, and that just wasn't happening. Unfortunately he was the only one who didn't see the break up coming. I kinda suspected it was going to be a brief thing from the start, and all of my friends reacted with things like, "yeah, I kinda figured you'd break up" or "that's what I thought." or something like that. Indeed, he was the only one who didn't seem to know it wasn't working for me. He was hella cute, and we had some fun, but I just don't think there was enough common ground. One of my friends even made the implication, albeit quite nicely, that I was only dating him because he was hot. That's not entirely true. I was also dating him because he was really sweet, and quite well-adjusted. In the end those things didn't seem like enough though.

In other news one of my good friends seems to be suffering from acute depression and I'm at a loss for how to help her. I've already suggested therapy and/or medication and she's been very resistant to both ideas. "Therapists don't tell me anything I don't already know or can't figure out." "Medication takes so long to start working that there's no point, and I don't want the side effects." I don't want to pry or push, and I already feel like she's pulling away. Over the past two weeks I called her three or four times and texted her a good five or six. Got no response at all until yesterday when she texted me apologizing for being a bad friend and confessing that all she does is stay at home crying.

I'm torn between giving her some space and letting her work things out for herself with the knowledge that I'm there to help if she needs me (my current approach) and trying to do some sort of pushy, tough love thing where I barge in unannounced or something and drag her out of the house. Meh, the latter option just isn't really me. I have already tried everything else I can think of to cheer her up in the preceding few weeks/months and I really think she needs professional help and/or medication. I think I'm pretty good at being a supportive friend, but I think she needs an unbiased, detached professional.

Hmm, what else? I'm frickin hating this damn weather we're having. I live in Texas; it's supposed to be warm damnit! If I wanted to live somewhere with a colder climate I'd have damn well moved there instead of here. I swear I get less able to cope with the cold/gloom/winter every year. Actually, I think that's her problem too. IMO, she has several symptoms of Seasonal Affect Disorder which is unfortunately coinciding with a bout of situational depression. I think I probably have borderline SAD too, but mine is pretty manageable and I'm functioning pretty well. Was downright euphoric and chipper until the last week when it got really cold and rainy. All in all I think that, emotionally, I'm handling this winter pretty well so far, but I just really hope we have a warm, sunny spell soon. I even forced myself to make plans for tomorrow and Saturday even though, truth be told all I feel up to is staying in doors. I'm not really depressed in an emotional sense though, more of an energy sense. I just haven't been able to muster any energy or enthusiasm the last few days, but I'm not actually unhappy emotionally. Actually I'd have to describe my mood as quietly content. Still, I could really use some warmth and sunshine soon. Thank God I do live in the South instead of anywhere colder and drearier!