Eh, why us it I never seem to blog anymore unless it's about my romantic life? Regardless here's another one....
So a few weeks ago one of my best friends introduced me to a friend of his, Richard. Obviously everyone sees where this is going. We hung out in a big group a couple more times...then a smaller group...then the last few days we've been just hanging out one on one and we've decided that yes, let's see what happens, but let's take it slow. I think this is terrific! I always feel like the relationships I'm in happen like overnight and one day I'm single the next I'm like half of a team or something. So I think the whole taking it slow thing is a great idea.
I guess it's normal that there are different dynamics and...objectives in every relationship. I mean I've generally wanted the same thing in all of my relationships, but with different mixtures and focal points. This one is definitely an "I really REALLY want to make him happy" relationship. I've wanted everyone I've ever been with to be happy, but with Richard it's like an overwhelming desire to see good things happen to him. I felt very similar in a different relationship I had awhile back, but with him it was more of a protective thing. Not that I don't really want to protect Richard from bad stuff too, but it feels more...equal I guess. Like protecting him isn't my main job. More like I want to work together with him to make him happy.
I'm really optimistic about how things are going. We have an amazing amount of things in common emotionally and I really feel like we "get" each other. I also naturally seem to trust him a lot. I'm generally a pretty open, trusting person anyway, but I've told him stuff I've never told anyone else so soon after meeting them. I dunno, all I know is that if I hurt him I'm going to feel like the biggest f**king asshole in the world. I don't even care if he hurts me, of course I usually don't care if they hurt me because I'm pretty confident in my recuperative powers. I just hope that if it doesn't work out - or hopefully if it does, but if there are some rough spots - that I'm the one who takes most of the emotional blows. Sounds dark I suppose, already anticipating hurting each other, but I do have a dark realistic side, and I know that if it ends there's a good chance one of us will get hurt, and if it doesn't end then it's pretty much definite that we'll both get hurt a few times over the course of time.
Anyway, I just really want him to be happy.
So yeah, not much point to this blog post, but I wanted to channel my feelings.
Be well all!