Fixing A Broken Heart

[BeaStKid]

I agree with Ieshwar on the sex account and I agree with you, Rad on the working harder account. lol

 

Ya, Arvin and Zack's friendship would surely suffer as Zack would feel as a second string (kabaab mein haddi for you Ieshwar...lol) but I feel that they would be able to work it out. As I said in my review, I felt pretty bad for Zack when he didn't have anyone to turn to when he needed someone the most.

 

I just hope everything turns out well....Nice chapter...Keep it up...

 

The BeaStKid

[TalonRider]

A story doesn't have to have sex in it to be good. Altho, sometimes it can add that little extra to it. I once had one of my authors ask about writing sex into a story and I told him to write what he was comfortable with.

 

There is that possibility of Mike and JR being boyfriends but I see them more as best friends.

 

Jan

[Conner]

...

And I got another fear. What if Zack falls in love with JR and when his bro comes out of coma, he learns that he too is in love with JR! Ouch, that would hurt.

...

Ieshwar

 

Ieshwar,

 

Don't you go giving Rad any ideas. He's doing just fine in the tragedy department.

 

I enjoyed being inside Zack's head as he worked through the whole adopted issue. That was very well done! The one sentence that I particularly enjoyed was

 

Answers are hard to find when you're looking for them alone.

 

How true!

 

The drug dealer joke that Zack played on Arvin's dad was hilarious. Quick thinking on Zack's part.

 

I must admit that I had completely forgotten about Zack's 'new' family. Meeting with his biological parents will be difficult as well. Then there's all those siblings too. That's really a lot to handle.

 

Great work, Rad.

 

Conner

[RJ Santos]

I honestly don't know yet if Mike's gay. I'm still waiting for him to wake up. To Jan: I told you. You're good! lol

 

FaBH is actually not the first story I posted on the net. Hehe. THere's this really crappy story with incest sex that I posted at Nifty. And I must say that it generated a lot of feedback. lol. That was what I was saying if all I wanted was feedback. Even at gunpoint, I wouldn't tell what story it is. I'm just too ashamed of it. lol. I don't think there would be any sex here though.

 

I could say though that I'm a sucker for happy endings, so...

 

Thank you guys for the feedback. You're all awesome!

 

Next in chapter seven: a trip to the mall with JR and inevitably going home... late at night.

[RJ Santos]

Hey guys,

 

I am happy to announce to you that I and the owner of the site (he contacted me) where FaBH had been posted without my permission had come to an agreement over the whole thing. We had agreed to have the story there with my name, email addy, and "posted with permission by author" in every chapter. He said he didn't wanna get sued, and I told him not to worry because I buy pirated dvd's too. I didn't get to talk to the guy who posted the story, though, because he forwarded my email to the site owner. Good thinking on his part. Anyway, I'm glad the whole thing's settled. I hope nothing of the kind turns out anymore. Again, I'd like to thank Nick James.

 

Later,

 

Rad

[BeaStKid]

Congrats on crossing that tiny hurdle... Now if you would please get on to writing the next chapter, it would really be appreciated....'Cause WE all are WAITING.....lol...lol...roflmao...

 

The BeaStKid

 

P.S

Take your time...I know that it'll come out to be a great chapter anyway....

[RJ Santos]

Congrats on crossing that tiny hurdle... Now if you would please get on to writing the next chapter, it would really be appreciated....'Cause WE all are WAITING.....lol...lol...roflmao...

 

The BeaStKid

 

P.S

Take your time...I know that it'll come out to be a great chapter anyway....

LOL

 

It's actually already done. Dunno why I haven't posted it yet. Hehe. Just a little editing, I guess. It's a little shorter than the other chapters though.

[Ieshwar]

I woul have never believed that Rad would be one of those evil writers who make their loyal readers wait and pine for the next chapter, and a short chapter on top of that. He seems to be such a nice lad.

 

Please post quick! (Missing Zack and hoping to see Brian)

 

Ieshwar

[RJ Santos]

Fixing a Broken Heart

Chapter Seven now posted

[Conner]

I must be getting old....uhmmm...I mean older.

 

That first paragraph...I had no clue......Zack's on drugs I thought....that must be it....he's dropped acid. Eventually, I got it, though. It finally sank in when you said roller coaster. It's been a while. My security needs seem to dominate these days. I prefer my innards to rest comfortably in their proper place. Oh well, c'est la vie.

 

It was good for Zack to get away a bit, to relax and have fun. The dialogue with JR was awesome. What a hoot!

 

I liked the concept you raised about 'brother' questions. That was cool. Brian's a gold mine. Zack's gonna really need him over the next little bit. Everyone needs a safe harbour.

 

 

Conner

Edited July 28, 2007 by Conner

[TalonRider]

I must be getting old....uhmmm...I mean older.

 

That first paragraph...I had no clue......Zack's on drugs I thought....that must be it....he's dropped acid. Eventually, I got it, though. It finally sank in when you said roller coaster. It's been a while. My security needs seem to dominate these days. I prefer my innards to rest comfortably in their proper place. Oh well, c'est la vie.

 

It was good for Zack to get away a bit, to relax and have fun. The dialogue with JR was awesome. What a hoot!

 

I liked the concept you raised about 'brother' questions. That was cool. Brian's a gold mine. Zack's gonna really need him over the next little bit. Everyone needs a safe harbour.

 

 

Conner

I agree with you, Conner. My first thought was he was on a Sky Coaster. I'm sure the interrogation went better than what Zack thought it would. I don't think Brian will push him to get some answers. He'll let Zach tell him when he's ready.

 

Jan

[RJ Santos]

Well, I just tried to remember how it felt like when I was riding a roller coaster. I hope I portrayed it well. Yes, I agree, Conner. Everyone needs a safe harbor. I especially modeled Brian after the big brother that I never had. I just hope he's not too perfect to be boring. Haha. JR's a funny guy, a bit unpredictable. I like the character he's turning out into. Oh geez... I'm commenting on my own story.

 

I was actually going to portray Zack's dad as the judge. But I don't know why I didn't. And Jan's right. Brian will wait until Zack's ready. I love Brian. Haha.

[BeaStKid]

Brian is such a beautiful person---caring and understanding, giving Zack the space he needs without probing much. I really appreciate the staunch yet silent support he is offering to Zack. I believe he'll play a major role in Zack's life when things turn bad (if they do) for him.

 

A great chapter. Really loved the playful banter b/w Zack and J.R. The interrogation was far too familiar, having experienced it so many times myself.

 

And Rad, there is no harm in commenting about your own story. Provided you don't give spoilers...lol

 

The BeaStKid

[RJ Santos]

Brian is such a beautiful person---caring and understanding, giving Zack the space he needs without probing much. I really appreciate the staunch yet silent support he is offering to Zack. I believe he'll play a major role in Zack's life when things turn bad (if they do) for him.

 

A great chapter. Really loved the playful banter b/w Zack and J.R. The interrogation was far too familiar, having experienced it so many times myself.

Yeah, don't you just hate parental interrogations? Why do they even think they've got any business doing that? Just kidding. LOL. Although I never liked being asked my whereabouts, it sure is a sign someone wants to keep track of my life.

 

And Rad, there is no harm in commenting about your own story. Provided you don't give spoilers...lol

 

The BeaStKid

Haha... that I wouldn't.

[Ieshwar]

I've read the chap. Brian is sooo sweet! Do you really have to make him str8? Not a little tiny winy bit gay? Or even bi? He's too cute and sweet to be str8. And Zack has never seen str8 porn. Ha! He's so innocent.

 

God, I want to read more. How will God (Brian) react when he'll learn that his brother isn't his brother?

 

Ieshwar

[RJ Santos]

I've read the chap. Brian is sooo sweet! Do you really have to make him str8? Not a little tiny winy bit gay? Or even bi? He's too cute and sweet to be str8. And Zack has never seen str8 porn. Ha! He's so innocent.

Haha. There are people who are not that perverted at that age, you know. LOL. Brian has a girlfriend, I'm afraid, and Zack likes her!

 

God, I want to read more. How will God (Brian) react when he'll learn that his brother isn't his brother?

 

Ieshwar

 

I just hope I do that scene justice. Or at least, what readers expect of it.

[Ieshwar]

What's his age btw? And Brian's? But Zack must be blind. Refusing to see porn with God? He must be a hell shy guy!

 

And what if God' gf meets an unfortunate accident by a truck who runs over her body and kill her? Then, depressed, Brian meets a cute and sensible gay writer who's name is Ieshwar. The latter comforts him. They both fall in love and have lots of se.. I mean, children. Hey, that's such a nice story! Sorry!

 

Ieshwar

[RJ Santos]

ROFLMAO

 

Ieshwar! Dude, you like made me laugh for a few minutes there!

 

Zack's 15. Brian's 17. Zack's words were, "Don't you even think it's weird to watch porn with your little brother?"

 

I'll let you write that one, Ieshwar. LOL

[Asian_boy]

hey there rad,

i've read all your chapters in Nifty.

well, i can say that your story is very nice. wonderful indeed.

i can't wait for the next chapter.

hehe..

[RJ Santos]

hey there rad,

i've read all your chapters in Nifty.

well, i can say that your story is very nice. wonderful indeed.

i can't wait for the next chapter.

hehe..

 

Hey Dude,

 

I hope you're patient then. Some people here say I'm evil for making them wait. You're not one of them, I know. Wait, are you? Hehe. Don't mind me. I'm just having a little something here.

 

Rad

[Asian_boy]

Hey Dude,

 

I hope you're patient then. Some people here say I'm evil for making them wait. You're not one of them, I know. Wait, are you? Hehe. Don't mind me. I'm just having a little something here.

 

lol. evil it is. haha. well, do tell us when you start postin the next chapter.

again it was really2 nice and i like the parts that he has twins. haha. that's sumthing. hehe

[TalonRider]

ROFLMAO

 

Ieshwar! Dude, you like made me laugh for a few minutes there!

 

Zack's 15. Brian's 17. Zack's words were, "Don't you even think it's weird to watch porn with your little brother?"

 

I'll let you write that one, Ieshwar. LOL

 

Zach also said this, "And watch it disappear into some girl's pussy?" My whole body shuddered. "Eww... Let's watch something else."

 

I think Brian will be cool with the fact that Zach isn't his biological brother. They grown up together they have the bonds of brothers.

 

Jan

[Ieshwar]

Brian is obviously a sensible guy (wipes the drool) but Zack? In the last chapter, it was so sad. He has no one to turn to, to whom he can really talk to. Not even Arvin. I know that Zack is being a bit too... immature and can talk to Brian. Coz we know he'll understand. But he's just 15! Sincerely, I find Zack a great character and Rad has very well portrayed him- with his great qualities and many teen complexes. So real! I fear that if he talks to Brian, he's be shattered. (The last scene where he cries? )

 

I would like to see where Rad brings this story and that scene of 'unrevealing'. *prepare your tissues, guys*

 

Ieshwar

 

P.S- Who dared call you evil Rad? Tell me and I'll...hmm...make him read my horrible stories! (lack of ideas)

[BeaStKid]

I'd never watch porn with my elder sis...no matter how carefree we act around each other(we saw American Pie series together)... I'm just not comfy with that...lol

 

Its nice to see that all boys aren't pervs...lol...quite difficult to find some nice innocent ones ..lol

 

Seconded, Ieshwar...Zack's character has really been well brought out...

 

The BeaStKid

 

P.S

I think after reading your posts here....

Do you have a fetish for str8 boys??? LOL

 

[TalonRider]

I wouldn't find it strange for brothers to watch porn together. After all, a younger brother might ask the older brother about masturbation if the younger brother was too uncomfortable to ask dad.