Fixing A Broken Heart

[RJ Santos]

Hello folks at GA!

 

I just posted Chapter Two of Fixing a Broken Heart.

 

Fixing a Broken Heart is a story about Zack. He is in love with his best friend, but his best friend is in love with someone else. Witness how this event takes Zack into twists and turns, ups and downs, and how he copes with them.

 

Hoping to hear from you guys!

 

Read it here!

 

Thanks!

 

Rad

 

 

 

P.S. Thanks a lot to BeaStKid! You're great!

Edited July 6, 2007 by C James
No content changed, I just fixed the link. :-)

[BeaStKid]

Welcome to the wonderful world of being a certified GA Author, Rad!! My best wishes are with you!!

 

And you're always welcome!!

 

The BeaStKid

[Conner]

Rad, your link doesn't work for me. I get an error message telling me to activate "intranet" settings and, at the same time, warns me against doing that. :wacko:

[RJ Santos]

Thanks, C James! (For the editing)

 

I've only just gotten back now, hope the link works for all of you now.

 

Rad

[Conner]

Yes, it works just fine now. Thanks.

 

I really like your story, Rad. The sheer irony of it is mind-numbing. It's like finding a winning lottery ticket at the back of your drawer; you never checked it and it's now expired.

 

The relationship between Zack and Brian is so sweet. I'm still not clear on why Brian hit him. I mean, was it just anger over the way Zack was behaving?

 

I particularly enjoyed the church scene in chapter 1 where Zack was pondering the feelings/emotions that Christ had while on the cross. His conversation with Father Jim was inspiring. Nicely done!

 

Conner

Edited July 6, 2007 by Conner

[angelgurl84]

I so love this story, keep up the good work

[RJ Santos]

Yes, it works just fine now. Thanks.

 

I really like your story, Rad. The sheer irony of it is mind-numbing. It's like finding a winning lottery ticket at the back of your drawer; you never checked it and it's now expired.

 

It's heart-breaking. Hehe. I've always thought how that kind of situation would play out on me. I just hope I never find out.

 

The relationship between Zack and Brian is so sweet. I'm still not clear on why Brian hit him. I mean, was it just anger over the way Zack was behaving?

 

I may have put a little of my temper in that situation. Brian was gone to the grocery and when he came back he only found Arvin, who was crying. He had to drive to the church to pick up his brother(that's how much he loves Zack). But instead of gratitude, all he got was a tantrum-throwing little brother. And there's also a little confusion because he had never seen Zack that way before.

 

I particularly enjoyed the church scene in chapter 1 where Zack was pondering the feelings/emotions that Christ had while on the cross. His conversation with Father Jim was inspiring. Nicely done!

 

Conner

 

I'm glad you think so. I really had to work hard on that because like Zack, I'm not at all fond of religion.

 

I so love this story, keep up the good work

 

Thank you. I try my best. **bows**

[Ieshwar]

Great! The first chapter was just... sad. I would really not like to be in Zack's place. That's so tough. The second chapter was really heart-warming, with Brian and Zack. So sweet!

 

Waiting for more.

 

Ieshwar

[BeaStKid]

Chapter 3 is Up!!

 

It's really good...Rad has delivered again!!

 

The BeaStKid

[RJ Santos]

Chapter 3 is Up!!

 

It's really good...Rad has delivered again!!

 

The BeaStKid

 

Thanks BeaStKid! For saving me the trouble.

 

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

 

Later,

Rad

[BeaStKid]

Thanks BeaStKid! For saving me the trouble.

 

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

 

Later,

Rad

My Pleasure...Nice chapter btw...

 

The BeaStKid

[Conner]

Wow! Great, great chapter, Rad!!!

 

I particulaly enjoyed watching and listening to Zack as he navigated his way through the maze of his anger. I believe young men, like Zack, often have difficulty in sorting out their feelings. That invariably results in anger being the only emotion that rises to the surface. I believe Zack's triumph here was in allowing Max to speak with him in the first place. That must have been extremely difficult for him, for Max was the target of all the anger he had towards himself.

 

Max is beautiful! I'm not just taking about his physical beauty. The more human reaction would have been for him to tell Arvin to just forget about the homophobic best friend. Arvin's pain over this loss was just too much for Max. So, he injured himself, I believe, and did the noble thing in approaching Zack.

 

I'm looking forward to Zack's and Arvin's conversation. By the way, you set that up nicely. Now, I just need to trust that you will adhere to my expectations and not go off and do some flashback in time or some other tactic that you authors use to rain angst over your readers.

 

Conner

[BeaStKid]

Wow! Great, great chapter, Rad!!!

 

I particulaly enjoyed watching and listening to Zack as he navigated his way through the maze of his anger. I believe young men, like Zack, often have difficulty in sorting out their feelings. That invariably results in anger being the only emotion that rises to the surface. I believe Zack's triumph here was in allowing Max to speak with him in the first place. That must have been extremely difficult for him, for Max was the target of all the anger he had towards himself.

 

Max is beautiful! I'm not just taking about his physical beauty. The more human reaction would have been for him to tell Arvin to just forget about the homophobic best friend. Arvin's pain over this loss was just too much for Max. So, he injured himself, I believe, and did the noble thing in approaching Zack.

 

I'm looking forward to Zack's and Arvin's conversation. By the way, you set that up nicely. Now, I just need to trust that you will adhere to my expectations and not go off and do some flashback in time or some other tactic that you authors use to rain angst over your readers.

 

Conner

I agree that Max came out as a very balanced individual. Out of all the characters, I like this level headed the most. Followed by Zack, Brian and then Arvin. Don't ask me why...I don't know the real reason myself. I particularly enjoyed the way Ras depicted that scene. One moment they were grabbing each other's neck and the other they were giggling uncontrollably.

 

It just brings out the true nature of childhood innocence. I read a story once which depicted the same. It was in my Hindi course book. I won't go into the details, but this reminded me of that story...LOL

 

The BeaStKid

[RJ Santos]

I'm too inexperienced to know how to rain angst over my little group of readers. But thanks for that little bit of advice, Conner. Maybe next time

 

All I can say is that chapter four is really sappy. Although I really like it, sometimes when I think about it happening in real life, I just have to cringe. In this chapter, Zack has some growing up to do. Lots of tears (eck!) too. 'Nuff said.

 

Chapter three is the only chapter (so far) that I haven't rewritten. Sure, I edited it some but not in a whole-chapter-edit way. Just some wordings. Unlike the other chapters which has like three versions before I decided on the one I like.

 

I like Max too. But he's not my main character. I actually modeled him after a classmate in highschool. Someone I treated really badly, but never retaliated back. He's actually kind to me. I still feel bad about the things I did back then. I've actually thought about writing something about him and Arvin, but that's just a thought. I'm still writing FaBH and I don't want to think about another serial in the future yet. Max is, like BeaStKid said, level headed.

[Ieshwar]

I really liked this chapter, especially the emotions that Zack went through. I sooo identify myself i this. The change from anger to sadness was soo well-done. I really enjoyed it.

 

Max is a good guy but I prefer Brian. (I got a thing for straight guys. )

 

Waiting to know more about Arvin. He seems to be really interesting.

 

Ieshwar

[RJ Santos]

I really liked this chapter, especially the emotions that Zack went through. I sooo identify myself i this. The change from anger to sadness was soo well-done. I really enjoyed it.

 

Max is a good guy but I prefer Brian. (I got a thing for straight guys. )

Who doesn't?

 

Although I really do hope no one takes the brothers' relationship as kinda sexual. No aversion to incest but that isn't what I wanted to achieve with the story.

 

Waiting to know more about Arvin. He seems to be really interesting.

 

Ieshwar

ALthough I think Arvin really has no big part in the story, I like him a lot. The real one too. I like the real Arvin a LOT.

 

I just hope chapter four's worth the wait for you guys.

[RJ Santos]

Chapter 4 of FaBH is now posted.

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/viewsto...6&chapter=4

[Conner]

Excellent job on chapter 4. Very well done.

 

The chapter ending was really sweet.

 

I'd like to learn more about Arvin, Max too.

 

I'm curious as to where you'll take the story now.

 

Conner

[angelgurl84]

Yay

[BeaStKid]

Nice heart to heart there...Awesome chapter again...

 

The BeaStKid

[RJ Santos]

Although, I've placed some subtle hints from chapter one to four, I think the fifth chapter would still be a bit of a shocker. I've been told so. Hehe. Anyway, thank you guys for taking the time to post a comment.

 

I'm gonna go check out the Summer Anthology.

 

Later,

Rad

[RJ Santos]

I'm a little incensed right now.

 

Nick James just told me that someone had been posting FaBH on another site. I'm actually looking at it right now. Too bad he got it from Nifty. The stuff there was a little unedited, while I edited some the ones that I'm posting here. At least, he didn't have the audacity to claim the story as his.

 

I just wanna ask you guys what I should do about this. This is obviously the first time that I have to deal with something like this, and I've got no ideas.

 

On the other hand, I'm flattered that someone likes it enough to post it on their site. But I'm not flattered enough not to be mad.

[Graeme]

This has happened before. Try to contact the guy, or the host, and asked them to remove it. If you can't find them, or they don't respond, email David at Nifty, he can take care of it for you. The last time he got the site shutdown....

[Conner]

I'm a little incensed right now.

 

Nick James just told me that someone had been posting FaBH on another site. I'm actually looking at it right now. Too bad he got it from Nifty. The stuff there was a little unedited, while I edited some the ones that I'm posting here. At least, he didn't have the audacity to claim the story as his.

 

I just wanna ask you guys what I should do about this. This is obviously the first time that I have to deal with something like this, and I've got no ideas.

 

On the other hand, I'm flattered that someone likes it enough to post it on their site. But I'm not flattered enough not to be mad.

 

That totally sucks that they didn't ask for your permission. It's your property.

 

I agree with Graeme. Ask them to take it down. Let them know that they can back to you with a formal request in a few weeks.

 

Of course you're pissed. Someone's f**king with you.

 

Conner

[BeaStKid]

Like Graeme said, try contacting that particular site's admin/moderator/owner or any one in-charge of that site and ask your story to be removed.

 

All the Best

 

Hugs

The BeaStKid