Fixing A Broken Heart

[NickolasJames8]

Well I know one of the mods there really well, and Andrew, the site owner, is a really nice guy. You should have no trouble getting the story taken down. If you do, I'll be happy to talk to either one of them for you.

[RJ Santos]

Thank you, guys.

 

I've sent an email to the guy who posted it (he's really cute! LOL ). Told him please (yes, I said please) take it down. If he really wants the story there, to please email me and we'll discuss it (the audience there liked it, but I'm not up to the task of posting it there as I've already had the story in four sites. I'm lazy, that's why). I'll just wait for his response.

 

And a special "thank you" to Nickolas James. If the guy(he's one of the mods too) will not get back to me, I might ask you a favor. Thanks for offering it ahead of time.

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Whew!

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Meanwhile, about chapter 5... Like I've said, I've put some subtle hints here and there. Chapter 5 is going to be about Father Jim. Can you guess what it is? And BeaStKid, no, you're not included. I wanna hear what you guys think.

[BeaStKid]

Meanwhile, about chapter 5... Like I've said, I've put some subtle hints here and there. Chapter 5 is going to be about Father Jim. Can you guess what it is? And BeaStKid, no, you're not included. I wanna hear what you guys think.

Awww man...You spoilt all the fun for me!!! lol

 

Hope everything turns out fine for you reg the story thing...

 

The BeaStKid

[Ieshwar]

I read the 4th chapter and it's very touching and overwhelming. So much emotions. This chapter brought me closer to Zack. It must have been tough and you well described the difficult emotions.

 

So the 5th chapter would be about Father Jim... another mysterious character. I would like to know more about him. Till now, we don't know much. He seems to be really sensible and understanding tough.

 

Waiting for more!

 

Ieshwar

[BeaStKid]

Chapter 5 Is up!!!

 

Warning!! Spoilers below....

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[BeaStKid]

While I was expecting something drastic, I didn't expect Zack to turn out to be adopted with a twin brother and Father Jim to be his brother!!!!

 

Man...you sure know how to keep the readers on a roll!! I just feel for Father Jim...seeing his brother everyday without being able to tell him that he his related to him can be so frustrating...And what about Zack?? The poor boy has to learn this reality at this stage!!!

 

Awww...my heart goes out to both these fellows...

 

Awesome chapter!!

 

The BeaStKid

[RJ Santos]

While I was expecting something drastic, I didn't expect Zack to turn out to be adopted with a twin brother and Father Jim to be his brother!!!!

 

Man...you sure know how to keep the readers on a roll!! I just feel for Father Jim...seeing his brother everyday without being able to tell him that he his related to him can be so frustrating...And what about Zack?? The poor boy has to learn this reality at this stage!!!

 

Awww...my heart goes out to both these fellows...

 

Awesome chapter!!

 

The BeaStKid

 

I have never mentioned in the story to whom I dedicate it to, but I'm going to now. FaBH is dedicated to Jevic. Some of you might have read his stories already. I have given him the tribute of being one of the main characters in FaBH which is Father Jim. He had helped me cope up with my own roller coaster though it was nothing compared to Zack's. Jevic has been my friend, guidance, and confidant for the past five years.

 

To you, my friend, I dedicate this story. May you find it. LOL (I was hoping he'd hear about it from others)

[Ieshwar]

That was totally unexpected! I was just... WOW! I would really like to read what happens now? And his twin brother? Some drama surely follows now.... So Brian isn't his brother.

 

I think Zack needs a really nice bf! What about introducing a nice sweet and cute character who'll steal his heart? Please?

 

I would really like to read Jevic's story. What does 'FaBH' mean?

 

Ieshwar

[BeaStKid]

What does 'FaBH' mean?

 

Ieshwar

Fixing a Broken Heart....duh!

[Ieshwar]

Oops. I thought FaBH is a story by Jevic. My bad!

[RJ Santos]

You can find Jevic's stories at http://www.tarheelwriter.com

 

I'll say nothing about where the story is going to go. Hehe. But I'm estimating fifteen chapters, more or less.

[BeaStKid]

You can find Jevic's stories at http://www.tarheelwriter.com

 

I'll say nothing about where the story is going to go. Hehe. But I'm estimating fifteen chapters, more or less.

Eagerly Waiting for more!!!

[TalonRider]

I was a bad boy and read all six chapters at work today, so I'm a chapter ahead of you all. lol I liked this story a lot. I've also read Rad's two short stories.

 

Jan

[Conner]

So, just when I thought Zack's heart was on the mend, you go and break it again.

 

Let me see, 2 heartbreaks per 5 chapters; 15 chapters will produce a total of 6. 4 more to go???

 

If that's the case I'm out of here.

 

Doors opening and closing. Yeah, right. That's a line used by religious when that have absolutely nothing to offer.

 

Father Jim had no business doing what he did. How did he know that Zack hadn't been told he was adopted? Something like 'it didn't come up'? His parents should have told him long before now. I'm pissed. First we'll shoot Pere Jacque et puis les parents de Zack. They're lawyers anyway. :0

 

I also have a feeling that Zack's brother knows about all this too. That sucks even more.

 

Rad, do you suffer from long bouts of deep depression? :wacko:

 

Conner

Edited July 21, 2007 by Conner

[RJ Santos]

So, just when I thought Zack's heart was on the mend, you go and break it again.

 

Let me see, 2 heartbreaks per 5 chapters; 15 chapters will produce a total of 6. 4 more to go???

 

If that's the case I'm out of here.

 

Doors opening and closing. Yeah, right. That's a line used by religious when that have absolutely nothing to offer.

I'm sorry if I made that impression. I knew it would seem sadistic as a writer to put my characters in a heartbreaking situation, but this was exactly what I was saying when I said "how this event takes Zack into..." I'm already working on chapter nine and I can assure you there hasn't been any heartbreak since chapter five. Hehe. I'm just working to the plot in my head. I'm glad though to have someone to point out my sadism. (Yeah right )

 

Father Jim had no business doing what he did. How did he know that Zack hadn't been told he was adopted? Something like 'it didn't come up'? His parents should have told him long before now. I'm pissed. First we'll shoot Pere Jacque et puis les parents de Zack. They're lawyers anyway. :0

 

I also have a feeling that Zack's brother knows about all this too. That sucks even more.

No, Brian doesn't know a thing. He was only two when Zack was adopted.

 

Rad, do you suffer from long bouts of deep depression? :wacko:

 

Conner

I don't know about long, but short, yeah. I could say that I used this story to vent some. Maybe I've gone overboard. Sorry. But I wouldn't change the flow of the story.

 

And folks, no, chapter six was not posted on efiction. It was somewhere else. Hehe. I just didn't expect it would be posted so soon. Thanks, Jan. Loved your email. You're very insightful.

 

Later,

 

Rad

[BeaStKid]

I was a bad boy and read all six chapters at work today, so I'm a chapter ahead of you all. lol I liked this story a lot. I've also read Rad's two short stories.

 

Jan

Well, If you call that being a bad boy...then I have been that even before this story was posted here at GA....Rad made me swear that I wouldn't breathe a word about the next chapters....Sigh...You have no idea how hard that has been!!! I guess you will now...

 

The BeaStKid

[TalonRider]

Rad made me swear that I wouldn't breathe a word about the next chapters....Sigh...You have no idea how hard that has been!!!

 

The BeaStKid

Actually, I do know hard it can be. As an editor, I can't talk about chapters that haven't been posted.

 

Jan

[TalonRider]

Earlier, I posted a short comment so now I'll expand on it with the email I sent to Rad.

 

I just finished reading this story, at work, non the less. Quite an interesting story. Reading it straight through, it doesn't give the reader much chance to rest.

 

I get the feeling that this story won't be so much about Zack being gay, but more about the love he's capable of. The love of family, even tho he's just found out he was put up for adoption. The Love for what we'll call his extended family. Not to forget the love of friends.

 

I suspect, that we may find out that Mike is also gay and that is the main reason that Father Jim is accepting of Zach. Jim loves his family unconditionally and that means accepting each member for who they are.

 

To me, it's understandable that Zack would be upset with his parents for not telling him. Some parents never tell the child they were adopted. Some wait until the child is old enough to understand. Zack should at some point realize why he was put up for adoption. Jim stated the reason by telling him the family couldn't afford to raise twins so one was chosen to be given up of a chance at a better life.

 

I did receive a reply from Rad.

 

Jan

[RJ Santos]

All I can say is that Jan is a very good reader. A very good quality for a very good editor. Hehe. I wasn't able to get anything past him.

 

And I'll confirm what he said. FaBH is more of a story about love. Not exactly romantic love, but love in general. The love that we always take for granted.

 

Later,

 

Rad

[Conner]

I'm sorry if I made that impression. I knew it would seem sadistic as a writer to put my characters in a heartbreaking situation, but this was exactly what I was saying when I said "how this event takes Zack into..." I'm already working on chapter nine and I can assure you there hasn't been any heartbreak since chapter five. Hehe. I'm just working to the plot in my head. I'm glad though to have someone to point out my sadism. (Yeah right )

No, Brian doesn't know a thing. He was only two when Zack was adopted.

I don't know about long, but short, yeah. I could say that I used this story to vent some. Maybe I've gone overboard. Sorry. But I wouldn't change the flow of the story.

 

And folks, no, chapter six was not posted on efiction. It was somewhere else. Hehe. I just didn't expect it would be posted so soon. Thanks, Jan. Loved your email. You're very insightful.

 

Later,

 

Rad

 

Don't sweat the things I had to say. All is good.

 

I'm on the Writer Non-Support Team. Actually, I'm the only one on that particular team. My role to beat newbie writers about the head and shoulders, metaphorically speaking only, you know, toughen them up a bit.

 

You passed!

 

Conner

[RJ Santos]

Don't sweat the things I had to say. All is good.

 

I'm on the Writer Non-Support Team. Actually, I'm the only one on that particular team. My role to beat newbie writers about the head and shoulders, metaphorically speaking only, you know, toughen them up a bit.

 

You passed!

 

Conner

 

Toughen them up. Yeah, right.

 

No, as any newbie author, I'd like to hear both sides. I learn from them both.

 

Thanks for the feedback (good or bad). Did I just admitted I'm desperate for them?

[BeaStKid]

Did I just admitted I'm desperate for them?

roflmao

 

We all are, dude. Newbie or established. Authors such as us write for feedback. And what would we do without it??? lol

 

The BeaStKid

[RJ Santos]

And what would we do without it???

Try harder, I guess. Put some sex on the story and post it on an erotic site. LOL

[RJ Santos]

Fixing a Broken Heart

Chapter Six now posted

[Ieshwar]

Hi Rad,

 

Destiny (and perhaps you too!) is playing a very dirty game with Zack. And at Arvin