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What if He/She says "I love you"

AFriendlyFace

By AFriendlyFace
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What if He/She says "I love you"  

21 members have voted

  1. 1. What if the person you're seeing says "I love you" and you're not sure yet, or sure you don't feel that serious about him/her yet. How do you respond?

    • I'm usually the one to say it first, so this never comes up for me.
      1
    • I'd say it back...it's just rude and hurtful not to.
      2
    • I'd say "Thank you" and/or change the subject
      4
    • I'd freak out and discuss why he/she is saying it right then and there!
      0
    • I'd pretend I didn't hear him/her and/or wouldn't say anything at all
      1
    • Other
      13

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JSmith Journeyman Scribe

JSmith

Posted
Posted

To re-open an older topic with a new question:

 

What if you don't know if the person said it or not? If they say it too softly for you to hear and it could have been "I love you" or it could have been something else and you just aren't sure.

 

Thoughts?

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S.L. Lewis Journeyman Scribe

S.L. Lewis

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I've voted other. I didn't freak out when that happened to me, but I told him that I just wasn't ready to say those words back yet. I was getting there, but it was taking time for me to get to that point since I had been burned so many times before. He understood and kept saying it to me, which always made me smile and apparently glow. That's what he told me.

Eventually I got to the point that I was able to tell him I loved him. That was a good year into our relationship though.

And yes, it was low. It was actually mumbled in bed into my neck.

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Tiger Adept Scribe

Tiger

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To re-open an older topic with a new question:

 

What if you don't know if the person said it or not? If they say it too softly for you to hear and it could have been "I love you" or it could have been something else and you just aren't sure.

 

Thoughts?

I would probably ask for clarification. I like being able to know what someone said. I would never assume he said, "I love you," in such a low tone of voice, thought I might wonder what he said if he did not clarify. That's just the way i see it though.

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GaryK Initiate Scribe

GaryK

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Now here's the kicker... what if he/she says it the first time while you're having sex?

I've had to deal with guys who say it every time we have sex. It's usually said it the midst of an orgasm so I take it for what it's worth.

 

I voted for other. I wish there were a get over it option in the poll.

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S.L. Lewis Journeyman Scribe

S.L. Lewis

Posted
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lol...I've had people say to it to me over IM's... :lol:

 

:thumbdown: not cool, though... especially with casual first time chatting. I mean those guys are not even on my friend list!!

 

 

Oh, yeah, that is so not cool. It's not right to say you love someone via chat rooms unless you mean it, you know the person and for what ever reason can't see them or talk to them via the phone. Otherwise, not cool.

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BeaStKid Journeyman Scribe

BeaStKid

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Oh, yeah, that is so not cool. It's not right to say you love someone via IM unless you mean it, you know the person and for what ever reason can't see them or talk to them via the phone. Otherwise, not cool.

Umm... I was talking about people I chat with in public rooms... ;):P

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Tiger Adept Scribe

Tiger

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I've had to deal with guys who say it every time we have sex. It's usually said it the midst of an orgasm so I take it for what it's worth.

 

I voted for other. I wish there were a get over it option in the poll.

Well, I doubt it means anything during orgasm. I agree about the get over it option. :P

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GaryK Initiate Scribe

GaryK

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Well, I doubt it means anything during orgasm. I agree about the get over it option. :P

Remember the guy I told you about who used to stop by almost every Friday and Saturday night after a kegger on the beach? He was the first one who used that phrase in the midst of orgasm. I knew he didn't mean it but it was still lots of fun. B)

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Tiger Adept Scribe

Tiger

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Remember the guy I told you about who used to stop by almost every Friday and Saturday night after a kegger on the beach? He was the first one who used that phrase in the midst of orgasm. I knew he didn't mean it but it was still lots of fun. B)

He must have really been enjoying himself. You must be a real animal. :P

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JamesSavik Master Scribe

JamesSavik

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Posted

What if he says I love you...

 

  • I'm shocked
  • I wonder about this persons taste
  • I wonder what the hidden agenda is
  • I think I'm about to be scammed
  • I say, "look, is that Elvis at the KFC?"
  • *Runs away like hellfire is on his heels*

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Tiger Adept Scribe

Tiger

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:mellow: There is a topic here, you guys realize that right? 0:)

Yes, but Gary gets us :off: Btw, I still think I would be put off if someone said those words during action. I think that cheapens the words.

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AFriendlyFace Journeyman Scribe

AFriendlyFace

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What if you don't know if the person said it or not? If they say it too softly for you to hear and it could have been "I love you" or it could have been something else and you just aren't sure.

I have some thoughts on this.

 

To me, the most fundamental thing that it comes down to in this particular case is how you feel. Do you feel it back? How would you respond if you knew for sure that he had "I love you"?

 

If you are in love with him, and would like to say it back, I think the simplest way would have been to sort of gently grab him, maybe hold his face so that you were making eye contact, and ask him to repeat it. In that sort of position he'd be more likely to be honest with you and it'd make for a pretty intense moment anyway. If he repeats it and it turns out that's what he said, then all is well in boyfriend land and all you have to do is say it back and kiss him.

 

If, conversely, it turns out that he didn't say it, or that he's unwilling to repeat/admit it. Then you have a couple options. If you truly feel it, I'd suggest saying it to him anyway, but making it clear that you just wanted to let him know and not that you were trying to pressure him into saying it back and of course ideally you'd have to be comfortable with the idea of him not saying it back. Of course, chances are if you think he might have said it, and you feel like it's appropriate, then he probably did say it and is embarrassed or something, in which case he probably will say it back, or maybe he never said it at all, but if you still think it's pretty likely that he feels it, and that this is an appropriate juncture for you guys to be saying it, then again, chances are he'd say it back anyway.

 

Point is, IF you do love him and feel ready to hear and say that, I honestly think you should say it.

 

If on the other hand you don't feel ready, then the most obvious and simplest solution is definitely to pretend you never heard it. I would suspect though that there's a good chance if he did say it, the reason you're not sure, is because he is kinda scared you won't say it back, and he does want to give you the option of ignoring it if you're not ready. The sucky thing though is that at this point, since the moments have come and passed, he may have concluded that you're not ready and you don't feel it back yet. That could possibly mess with his head and heart in a pretty crummy way. So I would definitely encourage you to talk to him about it, or just out right say it yourself if you're feeling it. If you're not...well then your best option is probably still to let it go and hope that he's patient and maybe will say it again when you're ready.

 

Anyway, to me it all comes down to how you feel.

 

:hug:

 

Good luck,

Kevin

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