Don't Judge Meeee! :P

[Myk]

You all make me look like a prude. I just can't go around doing that for some reason. I'm too old-fashioned.

hahaha.....don't worry, compared to me that just simply isn't possible!

 

Greg

[Tiger]

Well, I was being a little over-dramatic. I am not really a prude. I'm just not one who can sleep with strangers. Then again, I'm one of those who's okay with the friends with benefits kind of situation. A lot of people have a problem with that.

[Umbathri]

Right there with ya on both points TL

[rknapp]

~giggles~ Okay, I think any contact resulting in climax counts. How about that?

I wasn't gonna vote (technically still virgin) but since the poll was expanded to that... less than a day... *kicks the dirt in shame* Jeez can't a guy get head without getting grilled about it? (I was grilled about it last night by some friends haha).

[GaryK]

Well, I was being a little over-dramatic. I am not really a prude. I'm just not one who can sleep with strangers. Then again, I'm one of those who's okay with the friends with benefits kind of situation. A lot of people have a problem with that.

Don't count me as one of them Tim. Friends with benefits is fine with me.

 

I wasn't gonna vote (technically still virgin) but since the poll was expanded to that... less than a day... *kicks the dirt in shame* Jeez can't a guy get head without getting grilled about it? (I was grilled about it last night by some friends haha).

Why kick the dirt in shame? If what you did fits in with your sense of morals then don't be ashamed about it.

[AFriendlyFace]

Well, I was being a little over-dramatic. I am not really a prude. I'm just not one who can sleep with strangers. Then again, I'm one of those who's okay with the friends with benefits kind of situation. A lot of people have a problem with that.

That's certainly true of me, I can't imagine getting sexual with my friends, even the really really cute ones.

 

On the other hand I have got one complicated sort of person in my life, but we didn't start as friends so I don't count him. HAHA, it's probably just weird but becoming friends with someone I've been sexual with is a much more comfortable notion than becoming sexual with someone I'm friends with. Of course in the case of the first scenario I imagine if the person didn't progress to boyfriend and did progress to good friend that we would likely stop being sexual at some point. As I've always said, I just can't wrap my head around 'friendcest.'

 

When it comes to actual relationships I prefer to take it more slowly as well. Especially if the person is someone I know and care about in his own right. If instead it's just someone that I'm meeting for the explicit purpose of dating then I'm more open to the idea of things developing quickly, but when it comes to people I was friends with first I'm unwilling to be sexual for the sake of being sexual, and only 'slow and serious' about potential relationships.

Edited May 9, 2008 by AFriendlyFace

[Tiger]

Actually it's not that bad, Kev. It's actually quite nice, because we love our friends anyway. Besides, think of how much safer it is to have sex with someone you know than some random stranger at a bar. Of course, you'll say something about using protection, but those can break from time to time. With a friend, you're more likely to know if he's clean. Therefore, it's safer. The other good part is that it can happen once or twice a week as you both deem necessary. It's great for when you really need some and you don't have a significant other.

[GaryK]

I've got sex-buddies and friends. The two shall never meet. Having sex with friends adds so many layers of negative complexity to the relationship. Ultimately I value friendships more than I value sex. That's an attitude I've developed over the decades and it's based on real-life experiences.

[AFriendlyFace]

Actually it's not that bad, Kev. It's actually quite nice, because we love our friends anyway. Besides, think of how much safer it is to have sex with someone you know than some random stranger at a bar. Of course, you'll say something about using protection, but those can break from time to time. With a friend, you're more likely to know if he's clean. Therefore, it's safer. The other good part is that it can happen once or twice a week as you both deem necessary. It's great for when you really need some and you don't have a significant other.

Well that certainly does sound nice and even appealing

 

I've got sex-buddies and friends. The two shall never meet. Having sex with friends adds so many layers of negative complexity to the relationship. Ultimately I value friendships more than I value sex. That's an attitude I've developed over the decades and it's based on real-life experiences.

But this more accurately represents my personal feelings about it

 

 

Whatever works I suppose

[Tiger]

I never said that the situation was always perfect. There are times when one friend starts to have feelings for the other. At that time, things get complicated. Therefore, there are times when you're better off "playing".

[S.L. Lewis]

I've actually had a friend with benifits. She was my best friend, and she still is, even though she now lives in another state.

 

It was during my senior year and her juinior year. She was having trouble with her babies fathers, which is a whole 'nother subject, and I was seriously stressing out. We had sex off and on for about 10 months before we lost touch since she moved out of town. After she got back, our friendship was stronger then ever.

 

Sometimes a friends with benefits can go awary, but sometimes it can strengthen a friendship. It all depends on the people and the feelings going in.

[Tiger]

Rose I agree completely on that. People seem to think it always complicates. I don't think so at all. As you said, it depends on the people. Now, I have had a bad experience with that sort of thing, but it does not deter me from a potential friend with benefits in the future. Hell, it might even lead to something more in some cases. That's why I believe in keeping an open mind.

[Jack Frost]

Erm, it's just sex.

 

Not making love.

 

Two different things. I don't have problem with people wanting to get off with others. Their dick/c**t, not my business.

 

Of course, unless if you're in a monogamous relationship...then it'll get my attention.

[AFriendlyFace]

Erm, it's just sex.

 

Not making love.

 

Two different things. I don't have problem with people wanting to get off with others. Their dick/c**t, not my business.

Of course, unless if you're in a monogamous relationship...then it'll get my attention.

That's the simplest, yet most laudable sentiment expressed thus far in my opinion.

[Razor]

Erm, it's just sex.

 

Not making love.

 

Two different things. I don't have problem with people wanting to get off with others. Their dick/c**t, not my business.

 

Of course, unless if you're in a monogamous relationship...then it'll get my attention.

 

 

See, this has always been my problem. For me, sex carries some sort of emotional investment, even if it's only like an unspoken agreement to be friends and be polite to each other afterward. The more times it happens, the more emotion I start to invest, and before long........

 

I turn into that weird guy that can't figure out that it was just for kicks. Which is the primary reason I can still count every guy on one hand; I'm just not the type of guy who can keep his emotions to himself. Then again, you guys all probably know that already... since y'know, I get... vociferous... sometimes.

[Tiger]

See, this has always been my problem. For me, sex carries some sort of emotional investment, even if it's only like an unspoken agreement to be friends and be polite to each other afterward. The more times it happens, the more emotion I start to invest, and before long........

 

I turn into that weird guy that can't figure out that it was just for kicks. Which is the primary reason I can still count every guy on one hand; I'm just not the type of guy who can keep his emotions to himself. Then again, you guys all probably know that already... since y'know, I get... vociferous... sometimes.

I can understand that feeling. I think it often gets to the point where at least one friend wants there to be something more. For me, it depends upon where I am on a psychological level. I think after a break-up would be prime time for me to fool around with a friend. Another factor is the sensuality. If someone tends to stay the night and cuddle, I'm more likely to develop some feelings. I think that's a mental thing. Anyway, I think I know who you're talking about. I'm sorry that it hurt your friendship.

[GaryK]

I can understand that feeling. I think it often gets to the point where at least one friend wants there to be something more. For me, it depends upon where I am on a psychological level. I think after a break-up would be prime time for me to fool around with a friend. Another factor is the sensuality. If someone tends to stay the night and cuddle, I'm more likely to develop some feelings. I think that's a mental thing. Anyway, I think I know who you're talking about. I'm sorry that it hurt your friendship.

That's how the guy before the most recent ex-boyfriend became my boyfriend. We went out for awhile but as always I didn't want to be too pushy when it came to sex. When it finally did happen and he wanted to stick around and cuddle and then spend the night with me I was hooked.

 

Most of the time I'm more like what Jack stated. It's just sex, not love. It's a purely physical thing. No emotional investment required.

[glomph]

I think that's up to you to define.

 

Do you consider your activity sex?

 

Worked for President Clinton,: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky."

 

FYI, I think what you're referring to is properly (or improperly perhaps)

 

Sounded like either "frottage" or "inter-femoral."

 

Oh, and --

 

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Some poems rhyme.

Some don't.

[AFriendlyFace]

See, this has always been my problem. For me, sex carries some sort of emotional investment, even if it's only like an unspoken agreement to be friends and be polite to each other afterward. The more times it happens, the more emotion I start to invest, and before long........

 

I turn into that weird guy that can't figure out that it was just for kicks. Which is the primary reason I can still count every guy on one hand; I'm just not the type of guy who can keep his emotions to himself. Then again, you guys all probably know that already... since y'know, I get... vociferous... sometimes.

I can understand that feeling. I think it often gets to the point where at least one friend wants there to be something more. For me, it depends upon where I am on a psychological level. I think after a break-up would be prime time for me to fool around with a friend. Another factor is the sensuality. If someone tends to stay the night and cuddle, I'm more likely to develop some feelings. I think that's a mental thing. Anyway, I think I know who you're talking about. I'm sorry that it hurt your friendship.

 

Those are exactly the reasons I shy away from the whole 'friends with benefits' or 'F-buddy' thing. If it's going to be a repeated thing it best be with a boyfriend or else it just gets....complicated.

[Tiger]

Sounded like either "frottage" or "inter-femoral."

Actuall, the correct term is frot. Frottage is a more general term for "sexual rubbing while naked or clothed during normal sexual activity" according to the top of this page on Wikipedia.

 

Those are exactly the reasons I shy away from the whole 'friends with benefits' or 'F-buddy' thing. If it's going to be a repeated thing it best be with a boyfriend or else it just gets....complicated.

There's always a down side, Kev. Friends with benies are not for everyone. I never suggested otherwise.

[Menzoberranzen]

I've done the friends with benefits thing before, but the friendships were never close ones. Without the benefits, we likely wouldn't have been friends. That said, the guy I'm dating now went from a friend to a friend with benefits to a boyfriend.

 

Menzo

[AFriendlyFace]

I've done the friends with benefits thing before, but the friendships were never close ones. Without the benefits, we likely wouldn't have been friends.

LOL, that rather reminds me of someone inquiring:

 

'why do you continue to work there.'

 

'...well, the benefits are good'

 

 

 

That said, the guy I'm dating now went from a friend to a friend with benefits to a boyfriend.

 

That actually seems like a pretty logical and natural progression to me!

 

I'm happy for you Menzo and (just being silly not trying to jinx it or freak you out) I look forward to the day when you can say, "he went from a friend, to a friend with benefits, to a boyfriend, to a husband/life partner"

[Menzoberranzen]

LOL, that rather reminds me of someone inquiring:

 

'why do you continue to work there.'

 

'...well, the benefits are good'

 

 

 

 

 

That actually seems like a pretty logical and natural progression to me!

 

I'm happy for you Menzo and (just being silly not trying to jinx it or freak you out) I look forward to the day when you can say, "he went from a friend, to a friend with benefits, to a boyfriend, to a husband/life partner"

 

You might be waitng awhile, Kevin dear.

[S.L. Lewis]

See, this has always been my problem. For me, sex carries some sort of emotional investment, even if it's only like an unspoken agreement to be friends and be polite to each other afterward. The more times it happens, the more emotion I start to invest, and before long........

 

 

Like it's been said before, it's not for everyone. The only reason why me and my friend did what we did was because we had a good bases together in the first place. After that, it was something that we knew and could trust. It was during some really hard years for both of us.

[Phantom]

Here I used to think I was a total whore because I tend to have sex with someone after meeting them (My record is a half-hour... don't judge it was a frat party!!!!) :wacko:

 

 

But now I take comfort in the fact that me and 14 other people are in the same boat. Yay!