Gayness and depression

[old bob]

Hi everybody,

As some of you know already, I

[AFriendlyFace]

Wonderful topic, Old Bob!

 

1. Can we (and/or did you) observe differences in attitudes, behaviors and reactions of depressed people, depending if they are gay or straight?

Yes and no,

 

I try to view all people and their problems in a context of themselves. I think the experience of the range of human emotions is nearly universal to all people who aren't somehow limited in their ability to experience emotion. So of course we can all 'understand' sadness, happiness, fear, etc., but of course different people experience it in different ways and to a different extent. The cause or even just the thoughts and perceptions associated with the emotion in question are almost certainly going to vary among people.

 

 

2. Are gay people psychically and/or physically (in average) less resistant to the stress which leads to a clinical depression than straight people?

Gay people have more a reason to be depressed than straight people. They're often marginalized and scorned within society and often times they face huge religious and family obstacles. These experiences certainly make individuals more susceptible to depression!

 

Unfortunately this often leads to a co-behaviours and coping mechanisms which make the situation worse. Many gays experience substance abuse problems because they're drinking or doing drugs to 'escape' from their problems, 'numb' the pain, or become more 'comfortable' interacting with others (among a whole lot of other possible reasons!). They also often develop other subtle, negative coping behaviours, like shutting out friends and family and people in general. Often times they become repressed and emotionally flat and refuse to deal with or think about their emotions.

 

All these things make people more vulnerable to depression, and they would make any average individual who experiences them more vulnerable to depression regardless of his/her sexuality. I don't think it has anything to with being gay. All it has to do with is how yourself and others perceive your gayness, and how you deal with that perception. We could have this exact same argument if instead being left-handed, or over 6 feet tall, or having brown hair led to these same feelings and reactions in yourself and others.

 

So no, I don't think there is anything inherently different in gay people which makes them susceptible to depression, but I think they way they are treated and in turn treat themselves can often lead to it.

 

3. Is it easier (or in contrary more difficult) to accompany, assist or help gay depressed people then straights ones?

I think that definitely depends on the person and their unique circumstances. For example I would think that it's easier to help a depressed gay person who felt that his family didn't love him as a result, but who himself felt that it was fine to be gay than it would be to help a gay person who couldn't accept his own gayness. But even that might depend on the two people involved.

 

I will say that I firmly believe that coming out to yourself as gay and accepting your sexuality as a perfectly good and equally acceptable way of being is the number one best and most important thing a gay person can do for their mental health. Even if the gay person never tells anyone else or never acts on their feelings I think think it's crucially important that they accept and feel good about them.

 

I think the 2nd biggest and best step a gay person can do is to publicly come out. I know this is more controversial and I in no way mean to rush anyone. I think it's important for this to be done at the person's own pace and when they're ready. I also concede that occasionally there are legitimate reasons to delay or avoid coming out completely (however, personally I think the majority of closeted gay people who have accepted their sexuality tend to make up excuses for not coming out).

 

Living your life as an openly gay person and not hiding this big 'secret' is tantamount to feeling good about yourself and being happy. It's important for people to meet others like themselves and to have their feelings validated. It's good to be open and honest about who you are. It's great to no longer live in fear that 'someone will find out'.

 

Speaking for myself I was a hell of a lot more scared before I came out than afterward. If you are deeply closeted then someone finding out and outting you, or even just being mean to you while you lack the support of others, can be very devastating and really can completely shake up your life. (but I firmly believe that most people can recover from this pretty well) If you're already out and someone doesn't like, what are they really going to do? We don't live in a society where open violence is condoned. You might get yourself into trouble if go down dark alleys or other places 'where no one is watching', but for the most part you're probably perfectly physically safe wearing a big, pink shirt that says, "I'm gay!" in the middle of any Wal-Mart or shopping mall in the country. Sure there are gay bashings all the time, and no one is 'immune', but for the most part these occur in private, secluded places.

 

People might say something, but who really cares? I certainly don't care what a random person on the street thinks about myself sexuality. Also, even here if you're just behaving normally and not being antagonistic, even if you are obviously and openly gay the rules of polite society pretty much dictate that no one will openly say anything to you. In most cases the worst you'll end up with is dirty looks, people muttering under their breath, or whispering. Personally speaking either this never happens to me or I legitimately never notice it. I'm assuming that occasionally it must happen to me, but yeah, I can't recall many instances in which I've even noticed, and I can only recall one instance in the last year in which someone openly said something. It was a car full of guys that rode past while I was walking down the sidewalk with a friend. They shouted, "fags" as they drove by. Well that's not a big deal! I was just pissed that I didn't get the chance to tell them off, and I'm willing to bet they wouldn't have said anything if they hadn't been in a group in a moving vehicle.

 

Anyway, even if people never get to the point of living their lives as openly gay in general I think it's extremely good for them emotionally if they can do it in some aspects of their lives at least. For example the person who is out to a few close friends or family members has an easier time emotionally and more support than the person who is completely closeted. Just coming to this site and interacting with others over the internet is, in my opinion, good for the emotional health of gays.

 

The important thing is that gay people learn how to integrate their sexuality in a healthy way into their lives. There is a lot to gay culture that is very affirming, healthy, and positive. It's important to find and focus on these things rather than the negative and destructive, or rather than eschewing the gay community completely. I'd also like to take this moment to publicly offer to help, or at least try to help, anyone out there who is looking for resources in their area. I'm fairly knowledgeable about such things already and through the various connections and other information I have at my disposal I may be able to find something for you.

 

 

 

Anyway, now for my personal story and feelings about the topic.

 

I would say that I have a very strong resistance to depression. I'm frequently in a very joyful, exuberant state of mind, and most often am simply content and feeling mildly happy/pleasant. I would say that a large portion of this is simply innate temperament; however, as I was growing up, and over the years, I've made an effort to focus on the positive and learned many useful skills and behaviours which now come naturally to me.

 

It also helped that I was brought up consistently hearing the message that all people were equal, diversity was good, different didn't equal bad, etc. I similarly always placed a great deal more value and importance on autonomy and independence than I did on conformity and fitting in. As an interesting result I've always seemed to 'fit in' anyway, even without 'conforming'. Probably because I still wasn't antagonistic or dead-set on not conforming if I wanted to, and was still naturally out-going, and pleasant to people. As a result I think the underlying, "I don't really care" attitude came off mostly as appealing confidence. Consequently, I've always been pretty good at having a network of support which is, in my opinion, essential to good emotional health.

 

I also have a lot of experience and skills dealing with emotions. I'm actually a very introspective person (which as I've often said I don't consider mutually exclusive to being out-going) and of course I got my degree in psychology, so I'm pretty comfortable with my emotions. I'm comfortable experiencing any given emotion, I can usually figure out where it's stemming from and evaluate rather or not this is a reasonable response, and either way if it's something negative that's gone on long enough (some degree of negative emotions is very healthy and functional) I can usually work out a course of action for alleviating it.

 

I also personally find a lot of succor in helping and caring about others. A few days ago I was in a broody, withdrawn mood, but a friend of mine was upset about something. I found that in the course of listening to him and trying to help I not only quit focusing on my own state, but that my general cheerfulness returned as a result.

 

Anyway, I've definitely experienced the full range of emotions both very happy and very sad, but I do feel confident in my ability to handle whatever life throws at me. Indeed, this past year especially I've had a lot of bad things happen to me, often together, but while I freely experience the sadness, anger, fear, stress, etc. that come along with them, I've been able to easily banish the negativity within a reasonable time period (usually no more than a few hours to a few days depending on the event) without slipping into a funk.

 

As I said, wonderful topic, Old Bob!

Take care all and have a great day!

-Kevin

[Graeme]

I'll agree with Kevin -- a very interesting topic!

 

To a large degree, I agree with what Kevin has said. However, I would summarise it as follows:

 

1. Illnesses are often a combination of suspectibility and triggers. A person could suspectible to something (eg. bee stings), but until they encounter the trigger, it doesn't affect them.

 

2. The triggers are in the environment that the person exists in. As Kevin said, gay people are often in situations where they are more likely to encounter triggers for depression than a straight person.

 

So, because of pressures from the environment, gay people are more likely to suffer from clinical depression than straight people. This is not because they are more suspectible, but because they are more likely to encounter the triggers -- and that is directly due to the attitude of society to the subject of homosexuality.

 

Can they cope better? As a general rule, if someone is exposed to small doses of something, they can build up an immunity to it (this is the principle behind vaccinations). Because gay people suffer more society pressures that straight people, as a general rule, they have the opportunity to strengthen their internal defenses against those pressures. This will aid them if they become clinically depressed. However, it is by no means universal. Some people don't learn to cope with the smaller pressures and so they don't build up their 'immunity'.

 

Putting it on a personal note, I never developed any effective coping strategies while I was in the closet. My strategy was largely one of isolation -- I never let people get close to me. This would not have helped me if I had become clinically depressed. On the other hand, now that I have accepted myself and come out to my wife, I feel I'm more able to resist pressure and less suspectible to the opinions of others if I don't believe they are justified. Similarly, my wife, who came close to clinical depression after I came out to her -- she contemplated suicide at one point -- is also a lot stronger now. She says that after going through that experience, she is less fazed by outside things.

[W_L]

You have an interesting topic and I agree there is much in degrees of environment and triggers for personal depression.

 

1. Can we (and/or did you) observe differences in attitudes, behaviors and reactions of depressed people, depending if they are gay or straight?

2. Are gay people psychically and/or physically (in average) less resistant to the stress which leads to a clinical depression than straight people?

3. Is it easier (or in contrary more difficult) to accompany, assist or help gay depressed people then straights ones?

 

1. I would think there are certain conditional differences among gay or straight people, but this idea is simply a notion without statistically proven facts. I think depression can affect you in many ways even positively if you can get through it.

2. It is not really a matter of weaknesses or resistance in certain levels that make gay people more prone to depression. Societal affects do come back to haunt people, who are gay, versus people, who are straight, more in some degrees. The key reasoning may be the antagonism that society gives to gay people as they grow up and a feeling of isolation that is onset through such notions. Sociology and psychology come hand in hand, when you look at how attitudes develop that influence depression. There is a reason behing the large amounts of gay teens committing suicide versus straight teens over the years.

3. I do not know if it is easier to accompany or assist anyone with depression. It is a mindset that is not easily borken out of without some internal desire through the depressed person.

 

On a personal note, I have been depressed recently due to a multitude of factors concerning choices that I made in my life so far. Being as young as I am, I made certain life changing choices that I already know has affected me in many ways. Being gay was not a choice, but trying to hide it, reproach it, and even subdue it were choices that I tried to force on myself. Things are not simply black and white in our world, Depression is something that leads to greater sadness if not controlled, but it is also something that I believe gives a good reflection on you as a person if you can confront the reasons why you are depressed and have support for it.

[Bandage]

As said above, lol, very interesting topic, Bob!

 

1. Can we (and/or did you) observe differences in attitudes, behaviors and reactions of depressed people, depending if they are gay or straight?

I don't really think it depends on being gay or straight, I think it depends more on the person being extrovert or introvert. Extrovert people will be more likely to express their depressed state in public, while introvert will try to hide it from the world.

 

2. Are gay people psychically and/or physically (in average) less resistant to the stress which leads to a clinical depression than straight people?

 

I agree with the above posters, lol. Since depression is mostly caused by stress (according to me), it really depends on how much stress that person receives on a daily basis. The sad part is of course that (closeted) gay people are more likely to endure more stress than straight people.

 

3. Is it easier (or in contrary more difficult) to accompany, assist or help gay depressed people then straights ones?

 

Here I agree with Kevin though. However you react to help from others really depends on the person trying it and the place and the certain mood you're in at that moment. If I were depressed, and someone I hardly know would try to help me in the middle of a mall, I would probably resist that help. Even when I would be at home, and a really close friend would try to help me, it would still depend on my mood. Depressions don't feel as bad all the time, I think sometimes you feel a little better than other days, and that's when a person who wants to help you has to try it. (I do feel this is confusing to read lol. My apologies for that )

 

"Can they cope better? As a general rule, if someone is exposed to small doses of something, they can build up an immunity to it (this is the principle behind vaccinations). Because gay people suffer more society pressures that straight people, as a general rule, they have the opportunity to strengthen their internal defenses against those pressures. This will aid them if they become clinically depressed. However, it is by no means universal. Some people don't learn to cope with the smaller pressures and so they don't build up their 'immunity'." ~Graeme

 

I really like how you picture this, Graeme.

[ashessnow]

Well, I have no idea. But something related to that, I heard somewhere that gays are more likely to be prone to mental health issues in general, but, if that is true, I think it has more to do with the in the closet gays then anything.

[corvus]

1. Can we (and/or did you) observe differences in attitudes, behaviors and reactions of depressed people, depending if they are gay or straight?

2. Are gay people psychically and/or physically (in average) less resistant to the stress which leads to a clinical depression than straight people?

3. Is it easier (or in contrary more difficult) to accompany, assist or help gay depressed people then straights ones?

 

1. I think it's generally a case of the signs being obvious but being overlooked. You can generally never tell except in hindsight. And because people are so different, I don't think you can really come up with reliable "red flags" that'd apply to everyone. So no: I think it'd be very hard to tell from observation alone.

 

2. I think gay people just tend to be in positions that make them more vulnerable to depression than straight people. In general, straight people don't have to deal with hiding, rejection, oppression, etc. etc. nearly as much. Whether there's a physical -- by this I would hazard to say "genetic" -- basis or not probably hinges on a completely answer to the question of, what makes people gay? So yes, gay people are intrinsically more likely to get depressed because of the nature of their situation, but not due to physical/genetic factors.

 

3. Hmm. Don't think so.

 

Deep questions these are. No good answers there are. Interesting responses these are.

[JamesSavik]

For what its worth: depression is almost universally understated- espically in men. Men are conditioned to be stoic, play their cards close to the vest and handle their own problems. Many times a man will sail right through a diagnostic interview and you'll never know what is going on inside his head.

 

Gay men, espically those who are closeted are likely to be even more difficult to read/diagnose because they spend tremendous energy staying on their guard.

 

People think that depression is a pretty easy concept to grasp but depression is deeper seated and more complex condition than is generally understood or acknowleged. It comes in all shapes, sizes and colors and what makes it even more complicated is that they often overlap.

 

One of the best definitions that I've heard for depression is anger and frustration turned inward.

 

More often than not when you've got a depressed person, if you can get past the psycological defenses, they are mad as hell about something. Sad part is it might take three years of therepy to get there.

[old bob]

One of the best definitions that I've heard for depression is anger and frustration turned inward.

More often than not when you've got a depressed person, if you can get past the psycological defenses, they are mad as hell about something. Sad part is it might take three years of therepy to get there.

Hi James,

I fully agree with you ! The wrong therapy is to cure the symptoms with medications. The right one is to lead the patient to recognize himself the source of his anger.

That's the characteristic of a psychoanalytic cure. I got through one, which took only about 9 months till the devil was out and I could at least live normally. I was 27 and the psy brought me to "live" as a day-dream the fight of Jacob with the angel (see Genesis 32, 23 to 32) : "And Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day."Neither Jacob nor the stranger can prevail, but the man touches Jacob's thigh and pleads to be released before daybreak, but Jacob refuses to release the being until he agrees to give a blessing; the stranger then announces to Jacob that he shall bear the name "Israel", "for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed." and is freed."

The resolution of my anger was done when I recognized that my anger was against my father, a very old anger, resulting from the tyrannical way my father, as a Patriarch, ruled his family and "squashed" my young personality. The Angel was my father, and I was Jacob !! After my cure, the fight went on, but the initiative was mine !

Another example of my own story :

6 years later, my father had himself a deep clinical depression, was unable to work and I had myself to take care of the wealth of the family during the first 6 months. Then, during the next 7 years, my father was cured with drugs, with great success, and recovered all his "fighting" temper. but at the end, his old Doc retired, the new one made a false diagnosis and a change of his drugs, and so he died within 2 months in a psychiatric Clinic.

BTW, this are just examples from my personal experiences. In my long and diverse professional activity, I had the chance (or the mischance !) to manage a General Clinic with 45 beds and 2 operation-rooms during more than 4 years. Crazy world ! and the patients are not the craziest :wacko: .

[cheese]

I myself have battled depression for most of my life. Mostly stemming from a poor self image and low self esteem. The loneliness that has become a constant fixture in my life. I meet some one that I'm attracted to and I don't even see myself as being worth while to them. It's like i turn myself down for them. I hate it so much.

[AFriendlyFace]

I had the chance (or the mischance !) to manage a General Clinic with 45 beds and 2 operation-rooms during more than 4 years. Crazy world ! and the patients are not the craziest :wacko: .

I never knew that! How fascinating!

 

I myself have battled depression for most of my life. Mostly stemming from a poor self image and low self esteem. The loneliness that has become a constant fixture in my life. I meet some one that I'm attracted to and I don't even see myself as being worth while to them. It's like i turn myself down for them. I hate it so much.

 

Hang in there, dude. You'll be okay

[old bob]

I never knew that! How fascinating!

Hi Kevin,

If you are interested in my experiences with the "health-world", pm your questions and I will be pleased to answer.

The most interesting detail is that each profession has its own language, with which the "insiders" recognize themselves as "members" of the "group". I had the chance to learn the language of the docs (how is another story) and so I was "assimilated" to them as a "foreign insider" and could "use" their rules.

Old bob

[Daisy]

Hi James,

I fully agree with you ! The wrong therapy is to cure the symptoms with medications. The right one is to lead the patient to recognize himself the source of his anger.

 

BTW, this are just examples from my personal experiences. In my long and diverse professional activity, I had the chance (or the mischance !) to manage a General Clinic with 45 beds and 2 operation-rooms during more than 4 years. Crazy world ! and the patients are not the craziest :wacko: .

 

 

 

Hia, just thought I'd dip in because depression has become a big part of my life as well. My mum, who is a UK GP (doc) herself, up until 2 weeks ago just spent 4 months in a mental hospital. Her depression had been building and building over the years, she had developed 'immunity' as Graeme described, there is alot of inward turned anger and frustration, but ultimatley the last year and various 'sources' as you say contributed to her not being able to withstand the depression - initially to me it seemed like she was having a breakdown - but one like a whirlwind.

 

Anyway after a year full of lots of events, she progressively got worse and more erratic, isolated herself from people who could help further. At christmas she ran out of energy I think, she basically wasnt sleeping. She had finally acknowledged that she had been suffering from depression for the bulk of her life just before this and saw a recommended pscyhiatrist (let me tell you docs are the Worst patients!). Thankg he realised how severe her depression had become, I certainly didnt know what to do and hadnt even considered the idea that hospital was an option. But anyway what I was leading to was that my mum had entered what I refer to as a 'catatonic state', she was basically numb, lifeless, but not (crying, not coping, social phobia). Just after xmas I took her to be sectioned (voluntarily) so yes she was suicidal. I was obviously desperate that they help her, and knew about most of the past issues that I believed to be the root cause of most of this - and yes agree she is on route for it to take about 3 years for her to deal with. But to get to that point required medical help, not just therapy. I got so frustrated why they were just doing the medical therapy, thought they were wasting their time, they didnt care enough. But now that we are through that stage of it, my mum is realising about her problems and is committed to dealing with them, I can look back and realise the importance of what the doctor did.

 

He diagnosed her with acute 'clinical' depression. So I suppose this is where it could vary, if we havent got a miscommunication between countries. There was no way my mum was ready or in any fit state to begin to look at her problems until she was in a state where she was relatively stable and 'awake'. I was wary of anti-depressants, she had been on them for years and so couldnt really say they worked (and I really believe they caused the severe nightmares that lead to the lack of sleep the nov/dec), but they tried new ones, she's still on them. But they also tried ECT. I, had NO clue that this was still a method, or that even had really been a serious one, and I don't think I am prepared to watch 'one flew over the cuckoo's nest' just yet. It was the thing that got my mum out of the severe state she had been in, almost physically pain free. Though it was only after the course of (12) she had been on was that realised extent of 'short-term' memory loss that been warned could happen. What I'm trying to say though is that, at least in this case, therapy was not enough, medication was needed. but they still don't really have a clue what they are doing, thats the dangerous part. They haven't got a scientific explanation for ECT (which btw is electro-convulsive-therapy) beyond speculation about 'fits', the anti-depressants are hit and miss, with some potential badbad side-effects depending on how the patient reacts and that they may not have even realised about yet, and thats not even mentioning all the older ones which were even more dangerous. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I'm an advocate for medical therapy now that its worked for my mum, but still very wary about whats developed. it seems like stuck in a rock and a hard place.

 

 

Mental health is certainly something that is not understood enough, by docs and the general public. and more common than people will admit (if they recognise they have such conditions at all).

Sorry for the long post, got carried away. had other points to add to the original topic but forgetton what, so will maybe add later.

Celia

 

 

"BTW, this are just examples from my personal experiences. In my long and diverse professional activity, I had the chance (or the mischance !) to manage a General Clinic with 45 beds and 2 operation-rooms during more than 4 years. Crazy world ! and the patients are not the craziest :wacko"

 

and yes, from all my exposre to the medical world, that description definetly fits.

(havnt quite got the hang of this very complicated quoting system yet ).

Edited May 14, 2008 by Smarties

[Tiger]

Well, I have been suffering through depression off and on for ten years now. How much of that can I contribute to my sexuality? I don't really know. All I can say is that is does have an impact on my from day to day. Some days I am fine, but other days I just feel like the sky is falling down upon me. At this point, I cannot really afford to go to a psychiatrist, so I really do not have much of a choice other than to suffer until it goes away. Either that, or it will just get to the point where it is too late.

[JamesSavik]

Being gay does not cause depression.

 

The abuse you take for being gay causes anger which eventually becomes depression.

[old bob]

Well, I have been suffering through depression off and on for ten years now. How much of that can I contribute to my sexuality? I don't really know. All I can say is that is does have an impact on my from day to day. Some days I am fine, but other days I just feel like the sky is falling down upon me. At this point, I cannot really afford to go to a psychiatrist, so I really do not have much of a choice other than to suffer until it goes away. Either that, or it will just get to the point where it is too late.

I'm really sorry for you . remember what James said in a former post :

One of the best definitions that I've heard for depression is anger and frustration turned inward.

A way to cure your depression (if you are sure it's not only a bad mood ?) without a psy, if you have a good an close friend, is to talk to him, to open your heart so you can find out together what could be the cause of your bad feelings. The part of your friend is NOT to give you "advices", not to "judge", just to ask short questions and to give you free way to answer.

Want to know more ? send me a PM.

BTW, this has nothing to do with the subject, but when I was young, I suffered from very heavy headaches, which came suddenly, lasted hours and I could do anything against it. I was "out" and had to stay in a dark room, trying to sleep without success. As I got older, they disappeard with the time. I wish you the same with your depression.

old Bob

[Tiger]

Thanks Bob. Part of my problem is that I have a hard time saying how I really feel. I think a lot of that is a lack of trust I have for people in general. Hopefully I can eventually find someone I am comfortable talking to on such a level, but only time will tell.

[AFriendlyFace]

Thanks Bob. Part of my problem is that I have a hard time saying how I really feel. I think a lot of that is a lack of trust I have for people in general. Hopefully I can eventually find someone I am comfortable talking to on such a level, but only time will tell.

Tim

 

 

A good place to start, even if you're not quite ready to open up completely to other people about your inner feelings, is just to open up to yourself about them. Maybe write them in a journal or something in a very concrete, vocalized way, or just play them back in your head. Maybe you already do these things, but I find it helpful

 

Take care and good luck

Kevin

[GaryK]

A good place to start, even if you're not quite ready to open up completely to other people about your inner feelings, is just to open up to yourself about them. Maybe write them in a journal or something in a very concrete, vocalized way, or just play them back in your head. Maybe you already do these things, but I find it helpful

I've done this daily since high school. My journal is basically a stream of consciousness collection of everything I did, wanted to do, felt, and ate. You name it and you'll find it in my journal. I can be brutally honest with myself and it's not always a pretty sight. But it helps me get my anger out in ways I might not otherwise be able to.

 

Tim, you have so many friends here at GA who care about you a lot. Please don't ever forget that. Yeah, I know it's not quite the same as having someone there you can touch, but it's the next best thing. You know all you've got to do is call me and I'll spend hours on the phone listening to you. I just wish you'd risk having a little more trust in me than you already do.

 

 

Bob, sometimes medication is the only cure. I've dealt with all my demons via twice monthly shrink visits since I was six years old. Talk therapy doesn't do a whole lot of good for me. It's simply not enough. When I take my cocktail of psymeds I feel better, more normal. When I combine that with writing in my journal I'm at my peak of emotional health.

[old bob]

Bob, sometimes medication is the only cure. I've dealt with all my demons via twice monthly shrink visits since I was six years old. Talk therapy doesn't do a whole lot of good for me. It's simply not enough. When I take my cocktail of psymeds I feel better, more normal. When I combine that with writing in my journal I'm at my peak of emotional health.

Hi Gary,

Remember Tiger's post, he said he could'nt afford a psy. It's why I proposed him my temporary solution !

I fully agree with you, medication is always a good complement . In my "old" age, I have a growing tendency to be incapable to tolerate unbearable persons around me. My fits of anger are well known in my family .So my solution is to take in the morning, with my breakfast, 0.5mg of Alprazolam (called Xanax here) when I have to meet these persons in my diary .

 

A good place to start, even if you're not quite ready to open up completely to other people about your inner feelings, is just to open up to yourself about them. Maybe write them in a journal or something in a very concrete, vocalized way, or just play them back in your head. Maybe you already do these things, but I find it helpful

Hi Kevin,

Also a good proposal .

But if you want it to really work, it's necessary to write it, if possible daily, and to take time to read back your journal when you are in a bad mood. It's like a conversation with yourself. At the beginning, it's hard to keep it going, but after a few weeks, the lack of trust Tiger talk about will slowly disappear. The Ancient Greek aphorism "Know yourself" (Greek: γνῶθι σεαυτόν), meaning knowing one's own habits, morals, temperament, ability to control anger, and other aspects of human behavior that we struggle with on a daily basis. Ultimately to understand oneself is to understand other humans as well. You have a long way in front of you, but it's worthwhile.

[greenmann]

I'd like to add that there are other ways to express yourself, and though this may be a little off base among a group of writers... if you like to draw, you might want to use a non-lined notebook or sketchbook for your journal, for those days when words just aren't what you need to express yourself. Some people draw, some people write, some people dance or sing or act... whatever works.

[old bob]

I'd like to add that there are other ways to express yourself, and though this may be a little off base among a group of writers... if you like to draw, you might want to use a non-lined notebook or sketchbook for your journal, for those days when words just aren't what you need to express yourself. Some people draw, some people write, some people dance or sing or act... whatever works.

You are quite right !

Psychanalists of the Jung's school often ask their patients to "let it go" and express their feelings and their suffering through "free" drawings. This method is also used by psychanalists dealing with very young patients. The most famous of them is Fran

[GaryK]

Hi Gary,

Remember Tiger's post, he said he could'nt afford a psy. It's why I proposed him my temporary solution !

Hi Bob,

I missed the part about Tim not being able to afford psy. That's something I wasn't aware of. Thanks for thinking up some alternate methods to help him cope. I want only the best for that guy. Hell, I'd adopt him and pay for his psy stuff if he'd let me.

[Tiger]

Hi Bob,

I missed the part about Tim not being able to afford psy. That's something I wasn't aware of. Thanks for thinking up some alternate methods to help him cope. I want only the best for that guy. Hell, I'd adopt him and pay for his psy stuff if he'd let me.

I'm going to go to a regular physician some time next week and try to get on some medication. Hopefully, I can go with Wellbutrin.

[steph]

Hi Bob,

I missed the part about Tim not being able to afford psy. That's something I wasn't aware of. Thanks for thinking up some alternate methods to help him cope. I want only the best for that guy. Hell, I'd adopt him and pay for his psy stuff if he'd let me.

Unfortunately, reoccuring depression isn't something that will just clear up with time and positive thinking. There are community mental health centers that will charge based on what the patient can afford. Anyone suffering from severe depression needs to find help immediately: http://www.nmha.org/go/help/ .

 

Added:

Glad to hear it, Tim!

Edited June 7, 2008 by steph291