Procyon Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 No Second Troy I don't think I ever started a reviewing thread, but this is corvus's best story since 2004, so... yeah, I have to. For now I'll just say that chapter 1 was a great read -- for those of you who haven't read it, it includes three really compelling characters (two of them more so than the third), an almost interrupted date, and disfigurement and ensuing reluctance to go clubbing. I hope you'll all enjoy it as much as I did. Link to comment
DragonFire Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 This is a fascinating read I have to say, and it's left me wanting the second chapter ASAP. There are an awful lot of questions raised in chapter 1, and I for one can't wait to find out some of the answers. Link to comment
Rilbur Posted July 20, 2009 Share Posted July 20, 2009 Yeah, fascinating read so far and I wants the second chapter nowza! Link to comment
Libby Drew Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Amazing start! (As if I expected any less.) Everything you write is many-layered, a journey where I'm left wanting more and wondering where you'll take us next. I can't wait for chapter two. Your prose is, as always, smooth, well-paced, and flawless. Your name came up conversation with another writer a few days ago. I said I don't know how you continue to top your own efforts, but here you go again, doing it easily. Bravo! And where's chapter two??? Link to comment
corvus Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 Thanks for the responses, Procyon, DragonFire, Rilbur, and Libby! Chapter two is in the works, but at the moment, I'm doing a bit of poetry. I'll swing back soon, I expect. Link to comment
Rilbur Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Another great chapter, and I can hardly wait to see where things lead! Link to comment
J_Ross Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Lol, I've yet to get through the last story you put up. I'll get it on it, but I started the first bit of this, and I'm really looking forward to it. Awesome job. Link to comment
corvus Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 J.Ross -- thanks for reading! And yeah, if you can't get around to Black Magic, don't worry about it... but it'd be great if you do as well... Rilbur -- I aim to please. Hehe. Link to comment
corvus Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Chapter 3 is up! Read, review, rant, flame, adore, critique, whatever. Feel free. Link to comment
Rilbur Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Stupid question: but if he had amnesia and couldn't remember his own name... How did he sign the insurance and consent to treat forms? Anyway, another great chapter and I can;'t hardly wait to see more! Link to comment
corvus Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Stupid question: but if he had amnesia and couldn't remember his own name... How did he sign the insurance and consent to treat forms? Anyway, another great chapter and I can;'t hardly wait to see more! Yeah, I have no idea what the procedure is like in real life.... o_O Here, I have the receptionist note on the consent to treat form that Harry understood what it says, and -- I don't know what they'd do about the insurance. Any suggestions? Glad you liked the chapter. Link to comment
Rilbur Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Yeah, I have no idea what the procedure is like in real life.... o_O Here, I have the receptionist note on the consent to treat form that Harry understood what it says, and -- I don't know what they'd do about the insurance. Any suggestions? As far as insurance goes, if there's any kind of public insurance program in the area that'd probably be brought into play. The problem is the whole "I don't have a name"... so how the hell does he sign? I have no fricken clue. I bet you they have to have some kind of special program with special rules for that kind of situation. Link to comment
David McLeod Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Will you two please stop interrupting my suspension of disbelief? Please recall, from "Annie Get Your Gun," "My uncle down in Texas, Can't even sign his name. He signs his checks in X'es, But they cash them just the same." Now, Corvus, if you will, please ignore Rilbur ( ) and post another chapter. Link to comment
Procyon Posted August 4, 2009 Author Share Posted August 4, 2009 As far as insurance goes, if there's any kind of public insurance program in the area that'd probably be brought into play. The problem is the whole "I don't have a name"... so how the hell does he sign? I have no fricken clue. I bet you they have to have some kind of special program with special rules for that kind of situation. I thought it was plausible the way it was -- they read it to him and he says he understood. What else could they do? They have to do something like that with seriously ill persons who can't sign forms as well, I'm sure. Too late for me to write a proper review right now, but write more!! Soon!!! Link to comment
Rilbur Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 I think the point is that everything is based on having a name, and being able to read / write that name. Our entire society is practically based on that! Link to comment
corvus Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 The fourth chapter is up, here. All you wonderful people out there in the dark, please review. And I really do appreciate the discussion on how the hospital would treat Harry's amnesia. If I'm not rewriting parts to better consider those things, it's because I want to ride the momentum that's getting me going. But, once again, thanks for all the comments. Link to comment
Procyon Posted August 5, 2009 Author Share Posted August 5, 2009 I think the point is that everything is based on having a name, and being able to read / write that name. Our entire society is practically based on that! Yeah that's true, the idea as such is very interesting -- what do people do in a case such as this? And btw I'm pretty impressed that Harry hasn't once accidentally at least taken the pen and intended to sign something, that might have happened to me if I had to pretend I'd lost my memory... Link to comment
Procyon Posted August 8, 2009 Author Share Posted August 8, 2009 I'm rereading chapter 4, and it's great. Harry's interaction with is younger self and the differences that were already there, and the ones that are occurring in the chapter, are very convincing and sometimes fun to read -- I loved this line, for instance: "even considering bedding his younger self was giving him a headache." Gosh, poor Harry. Would that be incest btw...? As always, you're great at doing time travel -- I don't quite know how you manage that -- and here, also, there are some great lines: Link to comment
Rilbur Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 Harry's interaction with is younger self and the differences that were already there, and the ones that are occurring in the chapter, are very convincing and sometimes fun to read -- I loved this line, for instance: "even considering bedding his younger self was giving him a headache." Gosh, poor Harry. Would that be incest btw...? I think that's somewhere between masturabation, and really, really weird. Link to comment
Procyon Posted August 9, 2009 Author Share Posted August 9, 2009 I think that's somewhere between masturabation, and really, really weird. Haha, I think just really, really weird... and a bit incestuous, too. Btw I like it how Harry makes Harold develop, that is so interesting. And gosh, I hope he gets to meet Berryman soon!! Can't wait... Berryman is so cool. Link to comment
Libby Drew Posted August 10, 2009 Share Posted August 10, 2009 Caught up with chapters 2-4 this afternoon, corvus. Great stuff! Beautiful to read, as usual, and I'm not sure I can even phrase that any better. Your prose has this smoooth, flawless rhythm that just doesn't quit. Aside from the quality of the writing, the story itself is fascinating. I love how you've put the quirk in the adventure genre. The world's already been saved, and the aftermath isn't the Happily Ever After we've come to expect. I'm having a blast putting all the pieces together in my head based on your clues. There's the grove, the anchorer, Berryman, and late nights in the computer lab... I'm eager to see the past played out as much as I want to see what Harry does with his second chance. LOL That last comment is very much like another I left earlier today on another story. Anyway, fantastic, fantastic, fantastic, but I've come to expect little else from you. I'll be eagerly awaiting the next chapters! Link to comment
corvus Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Rilbur, it's interesting what you say about names because, even though it seems merely technical in today's society, I believe there's a subconscious power in names -- the Bible has all this naming, as do almanacs, old stories -- the Iliad has that big chapter devoted to naming things. Procyon, we're Berryman fans, yay! I think a Harry/Harold thing would be properly labeled incest... and incest is a bit masturbatory inherently. Libby, again, thanks for the review -- glad you like it! I'm "feeling" differently as I write this story, compared to how I felt with, say, "Mike and Winston." One must, as always, try new things. Link to comment
Rilbur Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Rilbur, it's interesting what you say about names because, even though it seems merely technical in today's society, I believe there's a subconscious power in names -- the Bible has all this naming, as do almanacs, old stories -- the Iliad has that big chapter devoted to naming things. Hey, stop stealing my story points! (Brought up in my story, Guardians, and I've dug the point deeper than most people will know for a while, because one 'critical' point is still hidden) Link to comment
Conner Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 So imagine Harry bedding his younger self and discovering, much to his dismay, that he's a lousy lay. I'm really enjoying the story, Corvus. It's just that my mind is wandering waiting for the next chapter. Link to comment
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