[Dion] Efiction Reviews for Unbecoming Darrell Matthews

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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: SimsS

 

Loveeeee. Start the next installllllment please!

Date: 09/07/2010 10:09 AM

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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: adamo

I loved your story. the characters were beautiful and real and the writing

superb. I really want to know what will happen for Darrell. He deserves a happy

ending. will you still be continuing and making it a series? I really hope

so.

Date: 07/04/2010 10:28 AM

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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay

 

Well, I must say I'm very disappointed. It has been almost a whole year, and

there is still no more story. When a great storyteller gets his audience hooked

on a very appealing character, to the point that we really care about him, and

then leaves us hanging, it really really STINKS!!!!!!

Come on, at least let us know whether you are going to finish or

not.

Date: 02/27/2010 09:56 PM

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Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: iguanacoosbay

 

You have written a totally awesome story....I love it so far!!

Date: 02/27/2010 09:34 PM

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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: quilz

This is an amazing story. It is beautifully done. The descriptions and

emotion in this story is so very moving. Are you planning to leave it as a cliff

hanger? Keep writing, you're very good at it!!!!

Date: 09/10/2009 11:43 PM

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Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: DragonFire

 

I have just stumbled across this story, and what a great find it was.

Fantastic imagery and great story line made for a compelling read. I do admit to

throwing something at the screen when I realised that the sequel isn't out yet.

But I'll sit here patiently and wait! ;o)

Date: 06/04/2009 08:08 AM

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Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: Looby

 

I am new to this site and I have to say I have read two great stories

here, and yours is one of them. I cannot wait for part 2 of

this series, I am also going to go read your other stories. Great

writing, great story. Is Logan in part two, for some reason I keep

thinking of him. I enjoyed this story. Thanks

again.Author's Response:

I'm wondering if you meant Lucas? If so... possibly. I'm not entirely sure

yet, as I'm still working on part 2.

Thank you for leaving a review. I'm happy you enjoyed it!

Date: 04/10/2009 07:46 PM

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Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: rbfg

 

oooooooo i sense a love match for the future...Author's Response:

 

Maybe. Thanks for leaving a comment!

Date: 04/03/2009 12:27 AM

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Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

After being kicked in the gut at least once in each of the previous eight

chapters, it felt good to think that things were starting to come

together. On the other hand, given what Dion's done to us (Darrell and the

readers) before, I look forward to the next chapter with more than a little

trepdiation.Author's Response:

Probably the wiser course of action, David.

Thank you for staying with me and leaving reviews. The new story is looming

on the horizon.

Date: 04/01/2009 12:41 PM

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Title: Chapter 9 Reviewer: librent

 

A great finish to this part of Darrell's story, its good to see that maybe

there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully Darrell can heal at this Uni

and find peace from the chaos that his life has become, friendship and maybe

love from the people he will meet. I am really looking forward to reading the

sequel and hoping like mad it isn't too far of being postedAuthor's

Response:

It's still in the works but hopefully not too far away from the posting

stage.

Thanks for leaving a review.

Date: 03/31/2009 08:14 AM

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Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: librent

 

I stumbled across your story tonight and I'm so glad that I stopped to read

all the chapters you have posted. You can literally see Darrell unraveling

before your eye's and the rest of the family tiptoeing around him trying to help

stop the slide. Looking forward to reading more of this great

story.Author's Response:

This one is almost complete but the sequel is well on its way - more a

continuation than a separate story, if you will. I hope you enjoy that one

as well.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a review. I really appreciate

it!

Date: 02/25/2009 07:02 AM

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Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

Can't say I didn't see this coming. Still, Dion hit me in the gut, as

usual. The imagery of the dust motes in the sunlight was brilliant [(pun

intended ]. Dion is a serious writer, and a serious

talent.Author's Response:

Thanks for the 'glowing' review, David!

Date: 02/15/2009 02:34 PM

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Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Steven Keiths

 

One hell of an emotionally packed chapter, Dion. Nicely done. As always I

look forward to more.

--StevenAuthor's Response:

There isn't a lot more for this one and I fear the end will be anticlimactic

because, really, it isn't the end. There's another story in the works. I hope

you enjoy it as well.

Thanks for another awesome review!

Date: 02/04/2009 10:35 PM

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Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

Another one-two-three punch in the gut; and watch out for the uppercut at the

end of Darrell's conversation with himself mid-way through this chapter. It's

still early, here, but after reading this chapter, I'm wide awake. Once again, a

great addition to a wonderful story.Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing, David!

Date: 01/25/2009 06:41 AM

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Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Altimexis

Poor Darrell has so much emotional baggage - it's going to take him some

time to get over the legacy of his father and his past.This is so

beautifully written.Author's Response:

Thank you for saying so! I only hope that when it comes to the next

story I can keep it interesting.

Date: 01/23/2009 10:15 PM

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Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: hh5

 

Darrell sure does have some issues like trauma and getting over his past

especially his dad. I hope Brock and Adam - don't give up on Darrel. They

probably won't but its still Darrel that has to face up a bit. He sure does need

a close friend but Darrel seems to want it on his own terms.Author's

Response:

Darrell is not about to get over his stubborn streak. At least not for some

time.

Thanks for reviewing!

Date: 01/23/2009 10:43 AM

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Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: juliandarling

 

Wow, that was incredibly depressing. I hope things look better for poor

Darrell.Author's Response:

Not just yet. I hope that doesn't put you off. Thanks for the

review!

Date: 01/23/2009 12:57 AM

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Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: juliandarling

 

Oh noes! Adam! I wonder if they'll patch up. Another great chapter, btw.

Can't wait for more.Author's Response:

I'm happy to see another person enjoying it. Thanks for leaving a

review!

Date: 01/07/2009 08:14 PM

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Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

Darrell thinks he's running "away," maybe, running "from." Perhaps, however,

he's running "to." It's getting better with each chapter.Author's

Response:

I'm happy you think so. Thanks for letting me know!

Date: 01/07/2009 07:19 AM

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Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Altimexis

A hasty retreat home, a trip to a real diner, a sympathetic ear from a

friendly waitress, a chance encounter with the mysterious Brock, and a reunion

with a freshman crush. What's not to like?Author's Response:

All the elements of a not-too-bad read. I hope you continue to enjoy it.

Thanks for leaving a review!

Date: 01/07/2009 02:48 AM

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Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: hh5

 

Nice darrell came back home and meets that guy and its seems to be a ok

family. nice something is happening for him. Good excused from Dallas

vacation.Author's Response:

Right about now he's pretty happy he came home, too. That will change,

though.

Thanks for reviewing!

Date: 01/07/2009 12:38 AM

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Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: hh5

 

I'm glad Darrell is now in a better place without bad papa. Not good grandma

outed him. I guess we have to hope Darrell finds his someone and cope with his

injuries (physical and emotional)Author's Response:

Darrell still has a long way to go but I hope you continue to enjoy it.

Thanks for the review!

Date: 12/28/2008 07:29 PM

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Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

Wow! Didn't see that coming. Or that. Or that, as a matter of fact. This is

getting very, very interesting.Author's Response:

I'm glad it still holds a few surprises. Thanks for reviewing!

Date: 12/28/2008 03:49 PM

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Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Steven Keiths

 

Dion,

How anyone could hate this story is beyond me--even if the genre wasn't

to their liking. It is wonderfully written with a great deal of intensity in the

telling. It is a superb piece of writing. I look forward to the next chapter.

Uh, Dion, I said I look forward to the next chapter. That's a hint. Where is

it?

Warm regards,--Steven

Author's Response:

It's in my harddrive. Be patient.

Someone hates it? Did they say so? Did they mention why? I like to hear all

POVs on my writing. That leads me to my next comment - thanks for the

compliment, Steven. I hope the rest of the story lives up to it.

Date: 12/12/2008 09:05 PM

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Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: J_Ross

 

Procrastination is my bff. But I finally caught up. I like it so

far and I love Trent. Momma's not to bad either. I really like

the way that, even though it'd be completely reasonable if he did, it doesn't

really seem like Darrell hates his father yet. Even if he should.

His reaction is much more realistic, imo. He'll get through it, though,

he's got a good Mom. And a decent brother...did I mention that I love

Trent. I do. I look forward to more. Author's

Response:

Darrell has spent so long trying to please his father and meet his

expectations that I don't think it's even occurred to him that he should be

angry about it. As he says in chapter one, "I was devoted to my father and if my

playing made him happy, I’d do it."

I'm glad you like Trent and that you're still enjoying the story. Thanks for

leaving a review!

Date: 12/09/2008 09:34 PM

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Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: hh5

 

I am happy the father is in jail. I hope he gets the full term sentence. The

rest of the family sure needs to heal. Still I worry for Trent and most of all,

Darrel. I think he's getting as skinny as me and that be bad for him. I hope he

snaps out of it. Yaa he needs a bf.Author's Response:

He will - eventually. I'm glad the story still has your interest. Thanks for

the review!

Date: 12/09/2008 11:09 AM

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Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

Chapter 3 created an emotional intensity that left me drained. Chapter 4

created an entirely different emotional intensity--that left me drained. What a

great contrast! Fellow readers: even though you may have read Ch 3, go back and

re-read it, and immediately read Ch 4. Six Flags should have such a roller

coaster!Author's Response:

Roller coasters can be fun....

I'm very pleased that you seem to be enjoying it. Thank you so much for

leaving me a review!

Date: 12/09/2008 06:50 AM

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Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: GayUganda

 

I really love the writing and the story in generalAuthor's

Response:

I'm so glad to hear that. Thanks for letting me know!

Date: 12/09/2008 05:37 AM

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Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Steven Keiths

 

Dion,

This great! Great dialogue and great story telling and showing. I can't wait

to read more.

Steven KeithsAuthor's Response:

Hey Steven! I was wondering where you'd gone to and if you had a chance

to look at this yet. Glad you're enjoying it so far and, as always... thanks for

leaving a review!

Date: 12/05/2008 09:16 PM

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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: David McLeod

 

Dion has taken a cast of characters from the standard playbook and made them

uniquely his through deft character development. The unexpected interests of the

two brothers does much to break down stereotypes and cause the reader to think

without, however, interrupting the cinema of the mind. Furthermore, the writing

is well crafted, making the story easy to read. To quote Oliver Twist, "Please

sir, may I have some more?"Author's Response:

Thank you very much for the eloquent review. I hope to have the next chapter

up fairly soon.

Date: 12/01/2008 05:34 PM

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Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Altimexis

Great story so far. I can't wait to read chapter 4. Trent really hit the

nail on the head regarding their father's reaction to his own

failures.Author's Response:

I responded in the forum first but I'll say it again: Thanks for leaving a

review.

Date: 11/29/2008 06:59 PM

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Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Altimexis

What a great bro Tret is. What an asshole of a father, but I bet he's

projecting his own shortcomings on Darrell. Great story!Author's

Response:

Thanks Altimexis. As one of my favorite authors it means a lot that you're

enjoying the story. Thanks for the review!

Date: 11/24/2008 03:02 AM

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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5

 

Wow Trent is really something. Especially for Darrell. Keep up the good

writing.Author's Response:

Thanks! I hope you continue to enjoy it!

Date: 11/24/2008 12:57 AM

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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: juliandarling

 

I definitely liked the beginning of this, especially the parts of his

character that he said he didn't want to talk about with his father.

Fascinating.Author's Response:

I hope it continues to please you. Thanks for reviewing!

Date: 11/22/2008 10:56 PM

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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: hh5

 

Ok my first reaction, gosh another jock story. But its a GA story thats the

point. Jocks do have more fun than dorks or nerds. They are more alive. Any ways

you got my attentions with Darrell - he's different (he's not all jock) and I

await the other chapters to unravel the story.Author's Response:

 

I think you'll find that Darrell isn't a jock for very long. I hope you enjoy

the rest of the story.

Thanks for reviewing!

Date: 11/21/2008 06:03 PM

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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Altimexis

Very good start - I'm looking forward to reading more.Author's

Response:

Thank you for leaving a review!

Date: 11/14/2008 11:16 PM

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Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: anime_cat

 

A good start, now write more so I can read it lol. =p

Always good to see a "new beginnings" style tale, especially when it builds

on other aspects of the character that were not apparent to other characters

earlier on.

Only thing is that it might have been nice to see some of the development of

chracters before the accident, not that far back...but a flashback, maybe a

mini-chapter (a bit of text inside a chapter) would be great for that...but I

still want more of the current storyline, so don't go full flashback if you do

any flashback stuff at all.

Um, wow, I wrote a lot, anyway, good luck and hope to hear more

=).Author's Response:

No worries! I like long reviews.

This story is complete and will be posted at fairly regular intervals. I

don't think I did a flashback though - sorry about that. The WIP is the sequel

(although that's rolling along nicely - I'll try to include a flashback or two

for you).

I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! Thanks for reviewing!

Date: 11/14/2008 12:55 AM

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