At wit's end, what to do?

[AnytaSunday]

Okay, peeps,

 

what do you do when you feel like you're so frustrated you find it difficult to continue everyday activities?

 

How do you keep positive? I REALLY need tips right now. I am generally a very optimistic person, but right now most things seem pretty black.

 

Nothing major or bad has happened to me or anything, it's a culmination of smaller things. Just tips, even if on a small scale, just I gotta keep the priorities right and see the good in stuff again.

 

Thanks, you're all awesome,

Anyta

[Kev de Cauchery]

A very good friend of mine told me, whenever I feel down and unloved, I should picture her in my head telling me that she loves me. It really helped the several time that I've had dark thoughts in my head.

 

Also, the very same friend told me what other love ones of mine would think if I commit suicide. "He didn't love us enough to stay." That's a pretty scary thought that the dear ones of mine would think I don't love them, so it also helps.

 

 

 

 

Dunno if it helps, but uh...

 

 

[Dark]

I go outside, even just to sit. It's amazing what a little vitamin D can do, especially in winter. I'll sometimes also get a bunch of comfort foods together and chill with a book I love, to get me dreaming about things again.

 

:hug:

[AnytaSunday]

Nice friend, Kevin.

 

I'm not suicidal, I just want to see the good in things again--I don't like the frustrated, hurting, angry, unhappy person I feel like at the moment. The thing that keeps me going the most is making other people happy, but sometimes I just can't do that.

 

I just thought hearing some tips would help, you know. I like the one with thinking of someone that cares about you. It's nice.

 

 

I like to go outside and walk--usually that helps a lot. But I've been outside so much lately, and it's just-rrrr, doesn't get the tangled web of thoughts out of my head that sort of feels like it will implode, lol.

[JamesSavik]

Toga! Toga!

 

[AnytaSunday]

Toga party, huh? Lol! That reminds me of orientation at uni. Yep, there were plenty of drunken guys in togas, hehe, girls too, of course.

[Marzipan]

Nice friend, Kevin.

 

I'm not suicidal, I just want to see the good in things again--I don't like the frustrated, hurting, angry, unhappy person I feel like at the moment. The thing that keeps me going the most is making other people happy, but sometimes I just can't do that.

 

I just thought hearing some tips would help, you know. I like the one with thinking of someone that cares about you. It's nice.

 

 

I like to go outside and walk--usually that helps a lot. But I've been outside so much lately, and it's just-rrrr, doesn't get the tangled web of thoughts out of my head that sort of feels like it will implode, lol.

 

 

Ok, sounds like you maybe need a good plan, figure out what really makes you happy, like in long term. And I don't mean just making other people happy. That is such a great quality in person to wanna do that, I admire people like that a lot, but to be able to do that, you need to be in a good place in your life. I know that from experience.

 

I was totally unhappy, things just got worse and worse, I felt that people around me where going to places and living their life more, somehow. I felt stuck in my life. Unhappy at work, in my own business. Unhappy in a long relationship. I had forgotten how to be creative, I had lost my will to do artsy stuff. A sweet new friend of mine pointed out to me just how empty my life had become, I hadn't even realised how bad I felt. I was so close to a breaking point that it's scary to look back today. I don't think I would have been able to realise that myself alone. I'm so grateful for her.

 

Piece by piece I made changes in my life.

 

First I sold my business that had lost meaning to me, then started to work in sports and yoga world. I had a few years of schooling for them. I have never regrettet this change.

 

I sold my house to settle in smaller income.

 

I left the relationship that made me feel empty.

 

All this and lot more in two short years that seem like a blink of an eye in my life. Now I'm happy in so many ways that I wouldn't know where to begin to tell. I write and draw and have a lot of new friends. I enjoy my work and feel optimistic about the future.

 

When you are happy in big issues of your life, then the little annoying stuff doesn't really matter.

 

I'm not suggesting to change everything in your life, but make plans, put them in paper. Dream of things that make you feel good and fill you with anticipation. Then start the dreams happen. You can do that!

 

And when you are feeling totally shitt, put that in words, let it pour out. Or you could write to me. I'm a good listener!

 

Hugs!

[Nephylim]

Okay, peeps,

 

what do you do when you feel like you're so frustrated you find it difficult to continue everyday activities?

 

How do you keep positive? I REALLY need tips right now. I am generally a very optimistic person, but right now most things seem pretty black.

 

Nothing major or bad has happened to me or anything, it's a culmination of smaller things. Just tips, even if on a small scale, just I gotta keep the priorities right and see the good in stuff again.

 

Thanks, you're all awesome,

Anyta

 

 

Well, I got up this morning and thought I heard something dripping. I went downstairs and there was a hole in my living room ceiling... I was only a lttle hole but there was a crack from the hole to a number of others ones along the edge of the plaster board.

 

The plumber (who fortunately is covered by insurace) arrived at about 12.00. Took a look at it and turned the water off. He said it was a two man job and he would return with his mate in the last couple of hours. Now, almost 7 ours later, with no water... no loo, heating or dry towels, he's rung to say he's on his way.

What did we do?.... we played guitar hero, ordered chinese, ate chocolate and had a laugh. I'm just hoping I can finish this chapter of my story before they get here in case I lose my 'flow'

[AnytaSunday]

Ok, sounds like you maybe need a good plan, figure out what really makes you happy, like in long term. And I don't mean just making other people happy. That is such a great quality in person ro wanna do that, I admire people like that a lot, but to be able to do that, you need to be in a good place in your life. I know that from experience.

 

I was totally unhappy, things just got worse and worse, I felt that people around me where going to places and living their life more, somehow. I felt stuck in my life. Unhappy at work, in my own business. Unhappy in a long relationship. I had forgotten how to be creative, I had lost my will to do artsy stuff. A sweet new friend of mine pointed out to me just how empty my life had become, I hadn't even realised how bad I felt. I was so close to a breaking point that it's scary to look back today. I don't think I would have been able to realise that myself alone. I'm so grateful for her.

 

Piece by piece I made changes in my life.

 

First I sold my business that had lost meaning to me, then started to work in sports and yoga world. I had a few years of schooling for them. I have never regrettet this change.

 

I sold my house to settle in smaller income.

 

I left the relationship that made me feel empty.

 

All this and lot more in two short years that seem like a blink of an eye in my life. Now I'm happy in so many ways that I wouldn't know where to begin to tell. I write and draw and have a lot of new friends. I enjoy my work and feel optimistic about the future.

 

When you are happy in big issues of your life, then the little annoying stuff doesn't really matter.

 

I'm not suggesting to change everything in your life, but make plans, put them in paper. Dream of things that make you feel good and fill you with anticipation. Then start the dreams happen. You can do that!

 

And when you are feeling totally shitt, put that in words, let it pour out. Or you could write to me. I'm a good listener!

 

Hugs!

 

This is some very, very sound advice. I know there are some things I need to change/work on, but they're not easy. Well, I just have to push through another year and see how I can work on myself to make things better.

 

I never used to get upset over such little things, never so annoyed or irritated. Probably a sign these are symptoms of something bigger. I just need to be able to latch on to something good that keeps me positive. Writing makes me happy, which is why it frustrates me that I'm developing some repeated strain issues in my arm.

 

Thank you for your words.

[AnytaSunday]

Well, I got up this morning and thought I heard something dripping. I went downstairs and there was a hole in my living room ceiling... I was only a lttle hole but there was a crack from the hole to a number of others ones along the edge of the plaster board.

 

The plumber (who fortunately is covered by insurace) arrived at about 12.00. Took a look at it and turned the water off. He said it was a two man job and he would return with his mate in the last couple of hours. Now, almost 7 ours later, with no water... no loo, heating or dry towels, he's rung to say he's on his way.

What did we do?.... we played guitar hero, ordered chinese, ate chocolate and had a laugh. I'm just hoping I can finish this chapter of my story before they get here in case I lose my 'flow'

 

Nephy, shoot, I hope your ceiling will be saved!!! That definitely is shitty, playing games and ordering chinese and chocolate is good though! Love your writing!

 

Hope you have good neighbours for the loo necessities, lol.

 

[Marzipan]

This is some very, very sound advice. I know there are some things I need to change/work on, but they're not easy. Well, I just have to push through another year and see how I can work on myself to make things better.

 

I never used to get upset over such little things, never so annoyed or irritated. Probably a sign these are symptoms of something bigger. I just need to be able to latch on to something good that keeps me positive. Writing makes me happy, which is why it frustrates me that I'm developing some repeated strain issues in my arm.

 

Thank you for your words.

 

I gave myself a year too before starting to make those changes. I needed to be sure of what I wanted in life and the changes were not easy. I had a lot of anxiety and stress in the prosess. I'm not sure if I would have been ready to move on in a different direction i life if I hadn't done that. Nothing changed for the better during that year. But at least I gave it my best shot.

 

Oh, no, can you process your works and writings without straining your hand too much? I think it needs to get some serious rest... Maybe tape record or what ever your ideas and work more on them later. Your readers will still be around!

 

I'm making myself happy tonight by continuing (In)visible and reading the latest chapter in St-st-stuffed. Well, actually that is you making me happy! So thank you for being there and being such a wonderful and inspirational author!

[Raijen]

When I start losing steam and things start slipping into a sort of depressive funk, I turn on some Lady Gaga and dance. I make cookies or cook something, catch up on chores that need to be done. When the thoughts start crowding out my mind, I find a way to just mentally scream... I dunno how to explain it, other than just grab a notebook and just write it out, write what is bothering me, why it bothers me, how I feel.

 

I think, when things get to the imploding point, it's your unconscious trying to tell you that you need to fill it with something positive. Good, upbeat music. Making progress on a project. Moving forward with life... There are so many possibilities that ultimately it just comes down to "do something". Cease thinking, just BE.

 

I don't know how much that will help, but I hope somehow it does.

[AnytaSunday]

Making progress on a project--yeah, that is something that would help. :pickaxe:

 

Music is great too. And I must write it down, that might be the most theraputic.

 

I think it's great that there are so many positive people out there. I definitely want to stay part of that bunch!

[Sara Alva]

Making progress on a project--yeah, that is something that would help. :pickaxe:

 

Music is great too. And I must write it down, that might be the most theraputic.

 

I think it's great that there are so many positive people out there. I definitely want to stay part of that bunch!

 

Yeah, I agree. I didn't reply because I'm generally not that positive a person . . . though I'm getting better at it Hope the techniques work, maybe I'll give 'em a try the next time I'm in a funk.

[JamesSavik]

I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!

 

We're just the guys to do it.

[AnytaSunday]

I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part!

 

We're just the guys to do it.

 

hehehe--sounds good to me! lol.

[Tipdin]

When I need to get away from my own life, I dance. Doesn't matter where, or to what, I dance. Sometimes I dance slowly, sometimes I dance wild and fast. Sometimes, it's me and mu iPod, alone, in the park, looking foolish, or sometimes it's just me looking foolish at the dance bar. But I dance until I'm exhausted.

[rustle]

It sounds like maybe you're in a rut. What are you not doing that you want to do? Long-term and short-term. You can only help others if you're strong and healthy. I like what Marzipan said about the long-term, big stuff, but there are little things you can do today: start making some lists. The largest thing you can do is made up of lots of little things that all have to be done. If thoughts are your hangup, try action. Get physical and get your endorphins flowing. Dance or exercise til you're exhausted, then get on with life.

 

As for repetitive motion injuries, you might find a good massage therapist and get the muscles relaxed. Don't let it continue until you require surgery.

[Stargazer]

My smart assed (though, honest) reply is Xanax. I'm mostly optimistic to annoyance but I do have my darker days and that's when they help a ton.

 

Other than chemical 'cures,' I would say to you that we all go through things day to day, and year to year. If you're going through a true depression, seek professional help because perhaps you need it. If it's just a case of everything kind of coming down on you at once and you're feeling overwhelmed, sometimes it does help to think of what you DO have that is good in your life. Think of the things that make you happy ... sometimes it's something so damn simple but it's important to you. Someone always has it worse off, you know?

 

For some people, volunteering helps and since you said you do enjoy helping people, maybe that's something to look into. They say exercise helps but if you're truly miserable, hiding out, eating ice cream and watching some good movies may be better suited to you.

 

I know I always feel better after a massage, too. Honestly, you MUST make time for yourself. I find that is key, at least in my life. Quiet time. You have a child so that's probably not something you get too often but even once a week, give yourself something to look forward to that's just for you.

 

Always remember, this too shall pass.

[Marzipan]

Oh gosh! I totally forgot to suggest yoga! It doesn't always have to be the high beat exercising to work on your mind through the body. There are different kinds of yoga to find the one to suit you.

[Zolia Lily]

Oh gosh! I totally forgot to suggest yoga! It doesn't always have to be the high beat exercising to work on your mind through the body. There are different kinds of yoga to find the one to suit you.

 

 

Maria, how could you forget the yoga? lol!!!

 

I would totally agree (or even something like Tai Chi or Meditation...). I always find physical stuff the hardest to make myself do, but i usually find it's worth it afterwards. (I went to my doctor this morning for what i thought were purely physical problems and she's gone and linked them all to anxiety- GAH! I don't think i'm anxious, but anway... we have anxiety disorders in the family, and i was depressed in high school, so i'll be putting some of these into practice anyway....) but there are a few other things i find help.

 

Music- nothing changes my mood faster. If i can find the right music to lift me out of a funk, it's the most amazing cure ever. And i am totally taking up dancing to it like a few people have suggested!!!

Food- aaaand while i am totally likely to eat packets of chocolate biscuits on my own when i feel like everything has gone to shit... it doesn't really help. But a really yummy, really wholesome and filling and warming meal makes everything better. Of course, food is my life, so whether or not it helps you is something else entirely! Also, Hot chocolate. With or without marshmallows or cream. And especially when it's cold.

 

I used to have days, or even weeks at a time, where absolutely everything annoyed me and got me down. I got on a train and wanted to scream because every person annoyed me somehow and i ended up just hating humanity in general. Those times, when nothing goes right- time for a holiday. Even if you don't go anywhere. I always needed a few days alone, doing nothing, maybe writing, listening to music, but no cleaning or studying or stressing or talking to anyone, and usually by the end of a few days, i felt a whole lot better. More able to deal with life and people again.

 

Also an idea i read somewhere but never got around to putting into practice:

every time you stress about about something or get annoyed about something, write it on a slip of paper and put it in a jar. By the end of a few days, if you look through the jar, you can look at what you've written more objectively, and sometimes that might help you figure out what you can do about them. And also, you might find that you've written the same things, over and over again. Then, you're supposed to take note of those things, but try and put them out of your mind. You give yourself 10minutes a day in which you allow yourself to get angry / stressed about these things and get them all out of your system- and then you're supposed to try not to get too caught up in them the rest of the time. I like this idea. I know when i'm stressed or frustrated i spend a whole lot of time thinking the same thoughts over and over again. Breaking out of that appeals to me.

 

short of that, writing. Not necessarily stories or diary entries. I personally like lists. Lists of pros and cons, good things and bad things; help just get it all out on the page.

 

But music. Most of all.

 

oh, and books with sappy romances in them

All the way!!!

 

xo

[DragonMando]

Probably one of the best ones I ever did, and need to start doing again...

 

Wake up an extra ten minutes early or so and spend that whole time focused on just enjoying those minutes doing nothing. That's right, nothing. The ONLY thing you're allowed to do during those minutes is get something hot to sip at while you do nothing else.

 

The simplistic nature of having a few minutes to start the day by doing nothing at all helps ease the mind into readiness for what's to come, something hot with those little coils of steam hitting your face and the warmth on the palate continue this further by helping to jumpstart everything into gear while still making you feel relaxed.

 

...I really need to start taking my own advice XD

[Zolia Lily]

...I really need to start taking my own advice XD

 

 

I am sooooo totally going to be taking that advice!

[Bumblebee]

Okay, peeps,

 

what do you do when you feel like you're so frustrated you find it difficult to continue everyday activities?

 

How do you keep positive? I REALLY need tips right now. I am generally a very optimistic person, but right now most things seem pretty black.

 

Nothing major or bad has happened to me or anything, it's a culmination of smaller things. Just tips, even if on a small scale, just I gotta keep the priorities right and see the good in stuff again.

 

Thanks, you're all awesome,

Anyta

 

I work alot, it keeps me positive that these animals depend on me.

my day would just be wake up, go to work, have my lunch break, go back to work, be nice to clients, come home, have dinner then go to bed.

 

Sounds boring and like I'm in a rut, but when I'm at work I don't think about me, about my problems, all I think about is the horses and what to do next in the day.

Not thinking or relaxing is very hard for me and I find it helps ease the depression by focusing on my work so much that I forget about everything else.

 

But doing several things at once helps for me, like listerning to music, while watching tv, while writing, while talking in chat, while eating/drinking keeps me positive

 

 

 

 

And I do what Jay said to do every single day.... but for about 30mins

Edited January 26, 2011 by Bumblebee

[AnytaSunday]

Hey, these are all fabulous tips!!!

 

Music is amazing and can really help, so can reading those sappy romances. I must say I find cleaning sort of helpful too, it's like it clears my head at the same time, if that makes sense. Like straightening the outside world is reflected in my head. Also, another thing that I've done the last couple of days is change where I work so I can see more outside.

 

I also like taking time just for yourself--but I know myself, I'd be wanting to plan my 'to do' list in that time, lol.

 

Yep concentrating on work helps a lot, too. These things are all helping Thanks.