Have you ever been mentally or physically abused?

[Tara00]

I want to know if anyone of you has ever been mentally or physically tortured to the extent of contemplating suicide? Please take notice that 'sexual' torture or abuse is not included. if anyone has gone through mental/physical torture, how have you coped with that or how did you come out of such depressive thoughts?

 

I know most of you would comment on how suicide is a wrong thing and how it hurts others around you, how it's a crime in itself. But, keeping aside the advice, if in case such things have actually happened to anyone, how did you make yourself deal with it?

 

Sometimes you can't deal with certain situations and it seems like the only way out, like the only way to be set free. Are there any other ways of getting out of depression?

 

My question is not about how to get out of abuse. It is about how to deal with my own thoughts.

 

Opinions are welcome and much needed.

 

Tara

[Dargon]

Hey Tara,

 

before I begin my short reply let me you

 

I can't say I've been there because fortunately I haven't, but one of my closest friends called such a place home for a long while and I found that the best way to get out of it is to go to all lengths to make yourself busy and surround yourself with people you love and things/activities that you find pleasure in in order to distract you from whatever is getting you down. In the end life is always worth living and if you feel like you're at the bottom of a pit, there's nowhere to go but up since you already know there's nothing below and to the sides there's nothing worth staying for. You never know wat tomorrow brings and right now, it seems like there's little it could that would make you feel worse.

 

till you turn blue

 

Dargon

Edited September 7, 2011 by Dargon

[K.C.]

Growing up in that situation, at times it felt like death was my only escape. I really think that being told to get out when I was 17 saved my life. For once I had to think about where I was heading and focus on me. I bounced around between staying with friends and family and with my first real job that had health insurance; I decided to see a therapist. It helped some, but it’s not a magic cure.

 

A lot of things in my life give off those red-flags of abuse and so many people would have seen it if they had just taken the time or cared enough to look. I slipped through so many cracks along the way. I just knew what my life was and what I didn’t want it to be. There is no easy answer. I wish there was.

 

I hope that if you are still suffering you get help. It doesn’t have to be professional help just someone to talk to. PM me if you ever need to talk.

 

 

 

[Tara00]

Thank you so much Dargon and KC for replying to this. From what you guys have said, it's becoming more clear that I should wait this situation out for better times to come. I just hope it happens soon.

 

And KC, you've probably seen worse days than I have and you are such a great person to know now. I assume everyone can live through difficult times. It's just a matter of faith, will and inner strength. So maybe I could do it too.

 

You've been great help guys. you both!

 

 

 

 

P.S. I've turned blue Dargon, you can finally loosen your grip on me

[Arpeggio]

Yes, and I even attempted suicide a few times. What helps me is helping other people and having a lot of hobbies. If you start thinking bad things, talk to someone because it usually takes your mind off it.

[Cia]

I unfortunately experienced the gamut of abusive behavior as a kid and teen. I never went all the way to suicidal because I became insular for many years, spending most of my time alone reading to 'get away'. Then as a pre-teen and teen I turned to drugs and guys, cutting and eating disorders. I felt both out of control and in control with my actions but it was my way of flipping off the world and my family in secret. I made some very stupid mistakes, ones that got me hurt a several times, but I found someone who made me happy and that helped. I finished school early and left home at 17 like KC did. Difference was, I had the best support in my life from him and it helped me overcome the drug use, the cutting and the eating disorders over time. Without him, I probably would have tried it, or gotten killed by the people I was around. The advice to try to surround yourself with those who help your mood and are good friends is valid. Remember something I still repeat to myself when things seem like they are at their worst, 'This too shall pass', because as bad as it seems, nothing lasts forever.

[Anya]

Yep...and I've thought about suicide as well but never seriously contemplated it. I guess I never really thought about giving up. When you're feeling down talk to someone or like Laceeh said...get distracted, have some fun ;p

There's always another way out if you really want it.... Life and the people in it are too precious to just throw it away like that

 

It will get better.....almost everything does with time ;p

Edited September 7, 2011 by Anya

[Tara00]

I have experienced mental abuse since I was able to understand how to talk. There was always physical abuse too but never as much to take actions about it. I just want to tell you all that it's not by my parents (I just feel they deserve me being precise) since that is the first thought that comes to anyone's mind. It's by a relative who I can't exclude from my life, not yet anyway.

 

I could deal with physical torture but it being majorly mental, I've started keeping to myself and shying from the world. I have almost broken ties with many of my friends but I don't know how else to react. I've become a very withdrawn person and I hate it too. I am scared of people and being with them. It feels like everyone is out to judge me.

 

I haven't really attempted suicide before. Like Anya said, they were just fleeting thoughts. But now I find myself seriously considering it. Today, after reading this post, many of GA's members talked to me and shared some of their own stories. That made me realise that many if not everyone go through similar or worse situations. Suicide is NOT the way out.

 

Like you said Cia, 'This shall too pass' is so true. I just hope I find the energy and patience to wait it out.

 

Thank you for your suggestions Lacey, Cia and Anya!

[Mal]

I know what you go through. Suicide, sometimes seem like the easiest, greatest thing ever. You just drift to sleep, the protective arms of nothingness to hold you. Never a care in the world anymore. That being said, suicide is for Pu****s with a capital p. I'm in a situation right now that sometimes make it seem like a viable option. But here is the thing.You are a human being. You are perfect. Never mind your faults, never mind what other people say, you are amazing. You are the perfectly arranged cells, molecules, and atoms that make up a unique human being. There are no other you's and there never will be. Stand up, take a look at yourself, and declare that you are worth happiness, worth somebodies love, and that you are an amazing human. You can endure, you can overcome and you can triumph. Never give up and always remember that you are amazing, and worth the world. Also, GTFO of that situation. That really helps. I wish you luck and happiness in your future.

[Dark]

That would be a yes for me as well, and I'm not talking about my crazy family. That's a whole 'nother situation I won't go into here.

 

What happened to me was I went to live with my grandparents after my grandfather had a stroke, to help my grandfather get around in the early days after being released from the hospital. I was in college and an adult, self-confident and all that. I'd overcome a lot by then and my family needed me, so I stepped up. Plus, I love my grandfather dearly. Less than 6 months later, I was depressed to the point of contemplating suicide. I doubted my self-worth, I had no confidence in myself, and to top it off, I just about flunked out of school, lost my scholarship, and to this day members of my family talk bad about me because of the verbal abuse my grandmother heaped on me.

 

If not for my boyfriend at the time and my father coming for a visit, I would most likely not be here today. I was so deep in it that I couldn't see it. I didn't understand what had happened or what I'd turned into. It took me a year to realize the extent of my situation and recover.

 

Less than 6 months to turn me into a sniveling wreck at 21 years of age. And to certain people in my family, I deserved it because I am a bad person.

 

I was rescued, and I thank god for the two men in my life at the time. I had a strong person who I could lean on (even if I didn't realize it at the time) and a fresh pair of eyes to come in and view the situation.

 

You obviously have some strong supporters on your side, but have you thought about talking to someone completely unconnected with you to give an impartial opinion? That might be an option. Even if it's not, you need to talk to someone you trust about what's happening. Just to get it off your chest will feel so much better. Hopefully, this forum is helping with that a bit.

[DearRadee]

Does scolding from my parents counts? lol JK. Nope, I was never physically nor mentally abused. Not even in High School so I think that makes me lucky.

[DragonMando]

I've been mentally/emotionally abused my whole life, physically not so much until recently. I grew up with the aloof dad that only seemed to show up to say I couldn't do anything and I was destined to live in a cardboard box if I didn't improve and by the time I was 13 or so, one sentence from him could ruin me. A fairly mild example would be when I was 14:

 

I'd finally talked my dad into splitting the cost of a basketball hoop for my birthday, just a cheap second-hand one I'd found on a craigslist-like local paper you could get for free at the grocery store, total cost was like $30, and I was in hog heaven for the first few weeks teaching myself techniques I was reading in books. Then my dad showed up and told me everything I was doing wrong even though I was making baskets almost every time already. Turns out every single technique I'd read I had learned "wrong". I was devastated because my dad wouldn't tell me how to improve, he'd just show me what it was "supposed" to look like and it looked the same to me. In six years I've never been able to make another basket because I remember how I was doing it wrong so I either just drop the ball and freeze up or I get angry and miss.

 

I was probably thinking about suicide from about then on every couple of months, then I'd scare myself out of it because I'm scared of pain and even more scared of attempting an surviving to have to deal with the flak.

 

More recently, a "friend" has been biting, hitting, hauling me around by my collar, and calling me "his pet" and even though I know I need to tell him to stop, my conditioning from my family's sunken too deep so every time I open my mouth to tell him I magically go mute.

 

Pretty much how I deal with everything in life I don't like is by playing videogames, writing, or drawing.

Edited September 14, 2011 by DragonMando