Does being gay mean being promiscuous?

[PrivateTim]

First to the topic, being gay does not being promiscuous, being a male means being promiscuous. The difference between straight men and gay men is that straight men have to work much harder to get laid. I don't know if straight men have apps like Grindr and Jac'd, but I am pretty sure they don't use them the same way gay men do because I spend a lot of time in both communities.

 

At some point most straight men get married and that slows downs their promiscuousness even more. Gay men traditionally have had no such stop point in their lives. I know a lot guys in their 40's & 50's who go out on the prowl every weekend and even if guys are not at a bar or club they are always on the make, whether it is at church or a Gay Pride committee meeting or a volleyball tournament, they are looking for opportunities and I am not talking a few guys, but probably more than 50%. And most of them are normal, well adjusted guys with good jobs. Maybe it is different in Mississippi where you don't have the same culture that you do in LA and San Francisco, but this is my observation in those cities and WDC, ATL and NYC, the other cities I've spent considerable time in.

 

When I said my generation is removed, I DID NOT mean that it was gone. I'm not stupid. What I meant was that it isn't as prevalent to us as it was to the older guys. I didn't grow up seeing people wiped out left and right from the disease, so the issue is not as pressing to many people my age. Obviously I know I can still get it which is why I put on a fucking condom when I have sex. But it is not the forefront issue in gay culture anymore like it was in the 1980s. 

 

And therein lies the tragedy. I know two guys, 23 and 25, who've become positive in the last 6 months because they felt the same way. Since they didn't (don't) see it, they assume it is gone or no longer an issue. The drugs today are so much better that you can mask the disease easily.

 

Everyone under 30 ought to read the link KC posted. Here it is again

 

HIV Incidence - CDC

 

Here is a sobering quote from that Fact Sheet.

 

Among MSM, the estimated number of new HIV infections increased overall and among MSM aged 13–24. MSM remain the population most heavily affected by HIV infection. Comparing 2008 to 2010, the number of new HIV infections among MSM increased 12% from 26,700  in 2008 to 29,800 in 2010, with a 22% increase among MSM aged 13–24 from 7,200 in 2008 to 8,800  in 2010. Although MSM represent about 7% of the male population in the United States, in 2010 MSM accounted for 78% of the new HIV infections among males.

[Rilbur]

First to the topic, being gay does not being promiscuous, being a male means being promiscuous. The difference between straight men and gay men is that straight men have to work much harder to get laid. I don't know if straight men have apps like Grindr and Jac'd, but I am pretty sure they don't use them the same way gay men do because I spend a lot of time in both communities.

 

Wow... that's a much clearer way of putting it than what I tried to say.

[methodwriter85]

At some point most straight men get married and that slows downs their promiscuousness even more. Gay men traditionally have had no such stop point in their lives.

 

It's going to be interesting to see what things will be like when I'm in my early 40's and Tet's in his mid-30's, and gay marriage in the U.S. has become more of a given. I wonder if the 40-something/50-something guy you see prowling the bars is going to become less of a common sight.

 

As for me, I'm basically celibate. I've had periods of sexual activity and they were fun, but I decided at one point that I felt like hook-ups were pretty empty and not really worth it.  Sometimes it's frustrating, and there are times where I just can't stop thinking about sex, but eh, it always passes.

[Y_B]

Penis

[Xtro]

Penis

 

Hmmm, you have one, or you'd like one?

 

I suspect, having been sexually active in the 1970s (and that was back when street legal was 21, not 18) I remember the fears of the 2 H's - Herpes and Hepatitis.  The 1980s came and yes, the Gay Plague decimated friends, characters, and people.  There was a massive campaign in the UK, that then stopped almost overnight.  That did not stop me having sex (I lost my first LTP back in 1982, to the Falklands - not to AIDS) but it did make me realise that things had to change.

 

However, over the last 30 years (and being gay in the UK has only been legal for 46 years this year) the lack of awareness of any STD/Virus in regard to the gay community has been its own downfall.  Ignorance kills - despite the invincibility of youth, and AIDS does not discriminate against orientation.

 

Whatever happened to taking a moment of time to get yourself checked out on a regular basis?

 

And yes, there is sex after 40, and 50, and 60 - I have an energetic partner to prove it (hence the worn out backspace key... )

[ToddYoung]

Although I've done it, and done it plenty of times, I've never actually wanted to have sex with someone I didn't feel an emotional connection to. For me, it's simply awkward, and even, yes, embarrassing.

 

I don't think being gay means being promiscuous. It's never meant that for me. I lurch from crushes to crushes, some of which cross the line into love. These are the people I want to be with.

 

My first gay experience was truly dreadful. A guy who followed me home and all but forced himself on me without any suggestion of using a condom.

 

For some reason, though, the way the gay world is structured, you pretty much have to be prepared to have sex with someone before you can get to know them. It's like, "We'll have sex first, and then we'll talk."

[Celethiel]

*hugs poor todd*

[C J]

Most people adopt the views of their peers and spend little time truly thinking about any particular issue.  The difference really seems to be in the group they choose to be a part of, and the acceptance of the views of that group is more or less automatic.

 

The choice is probably made based on a persons need, or perceived need, for social acceptance and a feeling of security.  It's no secret, of course, that people need to have contact with other people.  The problem is in the diversity of views among people, and the desire to share common beliefs.  This is why people seek out and join groups with specific characteristics.  I don't need to elaborate because everyone is aware of this.  Gay Authors is a great example.  People join this group because it is predominately gay, and because it features gay stories.

 

The fact is that people will always prefer to belong to some kind of group or another, and the most important groups are the ones where they live, where they have face to face contact with the other members of that group.  This limits the diversity of available groups, and so the potential to find a group that would truly represent the persons views accurately is diminished.  This in turn more or less forces the individual to accept some degree of compromise in what they will accept in terms of beliefs and values.  Most people are willing to do this before they are willing to live outside a group, because they have a need to be part of something bigger than themselves.

 

This is what I believe to be the case with the majority of people.  When your talking about things social there are very few if any absolutes.  The most important thing to me is to recognize that people will often express views or opinions that conflict with mine, and it doesn't need to matter to me because their views are just that, views. 

 

In the end I am secure in knowing who and what I am, and in living my life accordingly I make a much more powerful statement socially than anyone could hope to do in a blog or forum or group.  It invalidates any inaccurate statements made by others about who or what I am.  It informs those watching that the truth is often not what they are told by someone else.  It validates me as a person, which is something only I can do.  Someone at some point will say something about me that's not true, but their statement will be pretty much powerless because the people listening have already decided who and what I am based on my behavior. 

 

So, any time someone wants to make a statement about the kind of person I am they are perfectly welcome to do so.  Good or bad it doesn't matter.  As a famous man once said, if you call a dog's tail a leg, the fact remains that a dog still has four legs and not five.