I need some advise

[bluchem]

I have a very good friend for over 7 or 8 years. He's about 3 years older than I am. (he's 32)

I know him from I sports club where we both were teaching. For all those years he has never had a girlfriend or anything. And quiet a few people I know that know him too wisper that he might very well be very gay, but he just not has outed jet. And that's also the way I'm thinking about it. (Let's say his DVD collection has only really male movies, not one with a female actress in a leading role)

 

I've outed myself to him a few months ago. He was very open about it, but he didn't respond the way I hoped a bit. -______- I think everyone can fill in this blanc spot.

 

Now he has invited me for the second time for a 'sleepover' at his appartment for this weekend.

I do have quiet some feelings for him, but I don't even know officially if he is gay or not.

 

What should I do? tell him how I feel about him? tell him how I think about him? Pretent I'm just there as friends? I just don't know what to do

[Tom]

bluchem,

Go over, be a friend, ask questions, and be truthful with him.

[Kurt]

Ask him if he is gay.. he knows that you are, so what would it hurt?

 

Kurt

[Xiang_Xiang]

Hi,

 

You can tell him that you like him. Then look at what he will respond. If he only treats you as a friend, the thing between both of you will not work out(even he is gay).

 

Best,

 

Colin

[rknapp]

A 32 year old having a sleep over? Yeah, somehow I get the feeling that you're safe by asking him point blank (but not around others).

[ex52tech]

A 32 year old having a sleep over? Yeah, somehow I get the feeling that you're safe by asking him point blank (but not around others).

That's what I was thinking too. Maybe let him know that you can be discrete, espically since you have feelings for him. Try to put him at ease, let him know that you two can discuss anything without any judgement from you.

[Lugh]

um.... so how did it go?

[bluchem]

I was ready six times to ask or start the topic.

I chickened out every single time. It took me so long to even tell about myself to him (over 1 year) that asking him about him is looking like an imposibility.

 

We had fun the whole weekend. And I slept again in his double sized bed. I actually couldn't sleep at all. So close and still nothing.

 

Maybe next time. There will be a next time soon!

[Lugh]

I was ready six times to ask or start the topic.

I chickened out every single time. It took me so long to even tell about myself to him (over 1 year) that asking him about him is looking like an imposibility.

 

We had fun the whole weekend. And I slept again in his double sized bed. I actually couldn't sleep at all. So close and still nothing.

 

Maybe next time. There will be a next time soon!

 

 

 

So you slept with him in the bed?

 

Hell next time just cuddle up tight and give him a midnight hand-job... pretend you were sleeping if he protests!

[Strangersagain]

So you slept with him in the bed?

 

Hell next time just cuddle up tight and give him a midnight hand-job... pretend you were sleeping if he protests!

 

Has that ever worked for anybody?

[ex52tech]

I was ready six times to ask or start the topic.

I chickened out every single time. It took me so long to even tell about myself to him (over 1 year) that asking him about him is looking like an imposibility.

 

We had fun the whole weekend. And I slept again in his double sized bed. I actually couldn't sleep at all. So close and still nothing.

 

Maybe next time. There will be a next time soon!

 

Well...I don't know if two guys sleeping in the same bed, at your age, is more common where you are from or not. But I would guess that he might be as scared as you, even more so, and maybe he needs you to make the first move, even if he resists a little.

 

He may need you to be a little aggressive, with him, to get him past his initial panic, if he does panic. People get being straight ingrained into their minds, even though they are not straight, that first encounter might be a hard wall for him to jump over. You might not only have to start it, but keep it going for a while too. If you get him going, don't expect anything back, you know the first time.

 

 

Well....good luck.

Edited May 7, 2006 by ex52tech

[bluchem]

Well, it indeed isn't really common here to sleep in eachothers bed with only one really large cover. (my parents don't even have that) To make it even more uncommon: we both sleep in nothing more than our underwear. And it almost seemed to be some kind of struggle for both of us to make some kind of step.

And if I look back to last weekend, he also didn't sleep very well,

 

I went home last week without a new 'date' (lets give it that name than) and yesterday he suddenly contacted me about going to the movies sunday. Which actually means we will again spend the whole day together. Great fun! It'll be in one hour from now.

 

Man I must be creazy.

[old bob]

I went home last week without a new 'date' (lets give it that name than) and yesterday he suddenly contacted me about going to the movies sunday. Which actually means we will again spend the whole day together. Great fun! It'll be in one hour from now.

 

Man I must be creazy.

What happend ?

May I congratulate both of you ?

[Empathy]

What happend ?

May I congratulate both of you ?

 

 

well if he's asking you to "sleepover" I don't think askin him point blank cause much trouble. Even if he's not it seems you guys are at least close enough so that he won't take it the wrong way.