Question For Imagine Magazine...

[Comicality]

 

This is a question that I'm putting out there for all of you guys to think about and answer whenever you get a chance! Now, I am going to be working super HARD on getting new material for Imagine Magazine in the next month or two, and hopefully we can build a dedicated staff that will offer up new material on a monthly basis. (Yep! I'm going to put my nose to the grindstone and make this a monthly online magazine as it was intended...even if I have to do it all by myself!) But, at the same time, you guys are super important to me and to everybody reading. So, if you have a second, share your thoughts on this! You can do so anonymously if you want to. That's ok too. But I'll be collecting these answers (Unless you, specifically, tell me NOT to include you, for whatever reason. I'll understand) and adding them to one of the future issues of the magazine. Cool?

 

We all learn from one another. We all have personal stories to tell. This is your chance to talk about YOU! You're the expert! So let us know what you think? K?

 

More questions to come as future ideas get the momentum going again.

 

 

 

Have any of you guys ever fallen for your best friend? It doesn't matter how young you were or if it went anywhere or not. For many of us, we find someone that we have a LOT in common with, we laugh with, we share our secrets with...and sometimes (not always, but SOMETIMES), we begin to develop feelings for the cuties that are closest to us. Why wouldn't we? Right?

 

Tell us what happened? Have you ever been head over heels for a close friend of yours? When did it happen? Did you ever 'go for it'? What happened then? Was it in real life or online? Did you feel bad about it? Good about it?

 

Whatever your story is...put it in the reply below! We can all relate to having a huge crush on that guy/girl that we felt so connected to when they were standing by our side. Share your feelings on this, folks!

 

This whole website is actually here because I was MADLY in love with my best friend, Mike, at the time! So I feel your pain, believe me! Hehehe!

 

What's <I>your</I> story? Let us know!

[Comicality]

 

Oh yeah! Previous issues of Imagine Magazine here!

 

http://www.imagine-magazine.org/

[MrM]

Jon.

 

Jon was his name. Not 'John' but Jon. It might have been short for Jonathan, but that was never made clear to me.

I can't say that I was madly in love with Jon. At first we were just a couple of misfit toys that found each other in school. It was handy that he lived just down the hill from me. We were both Star Wars fanatics and so we had many a space adventure together. In our short time together we went from best friends/brothers to being 'interested' in each other as our bodies began having those kinds of feelings.

 

Nothing ever got that serious. One time it almost did in my back yard under the chinese elm tree, but my preternatually psychic mother called us in before we could go much further than grinding through clothing. Even though she couldn't see anything she knew something was going on though nothing of that nature had ever happened before. We were only 11 and 12 at the time so neither of us knew what we were doing or why. 

 

To this day I am haunted by that day. Wondering what could have become of us if we had continued. Probably a lot of drama and misery because later we were 'broken up' in an agreement between his parents and mine. Jon was going in a direction I couldn't go. He was starting to sniff around drugs and trouble. Shoplifting things. I think the end of it really came when Jon pulled his dad's gun out and started playing with it around me. This scared me. Also, he started playing with fire . . . literally. That was my mom's reasons anyway.

 

I have a feeling that Jon's dad's reasons were for something far less 'parental'. He sensed something was growing between his son and me that went beyond mere friendship. Jon was broken hearted and I was too though I turned very cold toward him. I had to. I was ordered to. I  . . . always followed orders. My mom was my Emperor and I was her Darth Vader slave. I also knew that Jon scared me. My feelings for him I couldn't understand and his bizarre and dangerous behavior was very disturbing.

 

During Jr. High I lost track of Jon. He tried many times to entice me back into his new world of Heavy Metal, Drugs, and a 'close' friend who,  strangely, was another blonde boy (highly unusual in my school being that I went to a minority school). But, by that time I'd made new friends and one, in particular, was trying to catch my eye. His name was Jose ('JOEseph'). That relationship too would die before it ever got anywhere, much to my lasting sadness. I was a 'good' boy then and had recognized through the vicious browbeating of others that what I was was called. 'Gay'. To be Gay, for me then, was to be 'wrong'. A pervert and mortal sinner (I was very religious then. A devout Catholic). It also meant certain death because AIDS had just risen to full power. That was all the proof I needed that God hated homosexuality. It was a preview of Judgement Day. It was the First Tribulation. So, when JOEseph (Jose) wanted to make that move on me at the sleepover when I was fourteen, I ran away from him, terrified and yet longing for that touch I could NEVER have! Because I WANTED Jose. I wanted him very much. But, to have him meant all manner of troubles for me, not the leasewise was eternal damnation. I became a pariah after that. Jose was very popular and the correct rumours about what I was only gained strength through his influence. A lover scorned can be a terrible thing.

 

Then High School came . . . but my Billy Chase never did.

I wait for him still. 

 

Edited September 13, 2017 by MrM

[Comicality]

 

Oh man, I was NOTORIOUS for falling for my friends! Hehehe!

 

I don't know what was going on with me, but from about the time I was ten years old, I would have these really 'intense' friendships with the other boys from school. Especially the ones that lived in my neighborhood. And we did everything together, and talked on the phone for hours on end, and had weekly sleepovers, and walked to and from school every single day...and before I even really figured out the 'gay' thing in my head, I'd be in love.

 

Sighhhh...

 

I couldn't help it. There are people in my life that I feel really close to, and sometimes that just turns into something else. Luckily, I'm a lot more level headed these days. But back then, up until I was about 25 years old or so, I'd get the most serious crushes on the people who were closest to me.

Out of all the friends I fell head over heels for, I only had sex with three of them. And one of those times actually ruined the friendship, because every time we got together it became all about sex and nothing else. I mean, I think we had feelings for each other, but we weren't in LOVE. You know? And sex gets boring when you're not in love. Believe it or not, I was about 14 or 15 at the time, and some days I just wanted to play Super Nintendo instead. Like, "Come on, dude. AGAIN?" Weird.

 

I doubt I'd have to go into too much detail about my 'friend obsessions' as you've read about them in the stories for years now. Even Chris, from "A Class By Himself", which was one of the oddest experiences of my adolescent life. Because, truth be told, me and that boy had one hell of a love/hate relationship. Never had sex or even shared a kiss, and as far as I know, he's straight. But...ummm...yeah, that was weird. We HATED each other sometimes! I mean, we got into actual FIST FIGHTS on multiple occasions (Made for some interesting boy scout meetings and camping trips), but when we were friends? We were like BEST friends! And there were times when all the boys would have to sit in a semi circle and listen to the scout leader or whoever...and I'd stretch out and lay my head on Chris' thigh. Right there in front of everybody. And he would literally 'pet' my hair and tell me how soft it was, and it was the weirdest, most <I>intimate</I> thing ever. I don't even know if anybody noticed, but they never told us to stop, so...? ::Blush::

 

And of course, there was Mike. My best friend, Mike, who I met just before my freshman year of high school. That was love that I wasn't ready for at all. And we did EVERYTHING together (And Adam and Sam and Ariel, etc were around by this point), played games together, went to the movies together, got in fights together...I really REALLY fell for him hard! ::Blushes Even Harder::

We were friends all through high school, then when he went away to college for a while, then when he came BACK to Chicago and we got an apartment together, then after that, and I got to stand at his wedding, and I just spoke to him about a week ago on the phone! Nothing's changed. Not really. Hehehe, he's my husband whether he knows it or not. LOL!

 

I did come out to Mike eventually. He didn't believe that I was gay for almost two weeks. That was cool. It was us living in that tiny apartment together that made me build the Shack in the first place. The sexual frustration was INSANE! We're just <I>too</I> close, emotionally. Always will be.

 

Anyway, I'll stop this here before I let this get too long. But yes, I have not only fallen for my best friends in the past, but I think I've fallen for almost ALL of them at one point or another. It happens, I guess. And I wouldn't trade those days for anything!

 

One regret though...I really do think I could have gotten Ariel if I wasn't such a chicken! Seriously! He was shy, but...I always had a feeling about that boy.

[Comicality]

 

Also, if you want to see more personal answers, head on over to the Shack board as well!

 

We all have stories to tell!

 

http://www.voy.com/15900/87605.html 

[William King]

I think what you @Comicality describe is very natural, because it was exactly like that for me. Boys from school and boys who lived nearby, but I never had sexual feelings for my best friend who turned out to be straight. But there was Steven, Stevie, with his blond hair and blue eyes who lived down the street. We would have mock fights where we literally tumbled around together, we were all over each other and it felt great, but neither of us knew anything about sex, we were eight or nine years old.

There was Mark from school, another blond, his mother was German and quite strict. It all came to an end at his house where I was invited for his birthday party. I don't recall exactly what happened, but there were only a handful of boys there, it was a great party. But, I think he wanted to show off a bit, we all got into a pillow fight, and I knew we shouldn't be doing that. So it ended with one very angry German lady grabbing her son and spanking him in front of us, then we all got sent home.

 

Now Demetri had the cutest smile, he was a small kid for his age, with short jet black hair and his family were Greek Cypriot. We hung out together, we were both in the school football team, I still have the team photo, a bunch of ten year olds (I should dig it out). The climax of that relationship was an afternoon spent at his house, because whatever we started out doing we ended up whispering secrets and holding each other and getting quite close. It was just that one afternoon, but I still have the picture in my head of his bedroom and sitting there on his bed close to him. 

 

Things changed with puberty and growing up, I never lost the getting close to boys, but for several years it was on hold, because I was scared, dead scared that I might get found out for who I really was, and that would spoil everything – because deep down I knew I was different and that I must be the only boy like that, so I had to hide and keep my secret to myself, whatever the cost and heartache.

 

Edited September 14, 2017 by William King
spelling

[Hunter Thomson]

It's cheesy to say it but right now I'm in love with my best friend. But for the purposes of this story I want to drag myself through memory lane, and see if I can put some very old feelings to rest. Names are, of course, edited to protect everyone involved.

 

I was four years old, and I'd never had a friend before. Hell. I was four years old and hadn't really done much in the way of socializing before. Most of my time was spent with family before I went to preschool, and the preschool itself was an attempt by my parents to try and socialize me a bit before lugging me off to school every day for the next 22 years of their lives. Tai was different. Although I guess so am I, so it was already a good match. He's Japanese, I'm half-Chinese. We were in a sea of mostly white faces and we recognized in each other people who were similar to ourselves and not similar to those around us. We started to hang out all the time, closer than friends should be and encouraged through it all by our far too permissive parents. Showering with Tai (and to this day I don't know why that happened) when we were both four years old has to qualify as one of the weirdest bonding moments ever, or perhaps it's just a figment of my messed up memories that doesn't actually exist. 

 

But we were inseparable. We looked out for each other in class the years we were housed together, and we found each other in the years that we weren't together. Of course, things weren't as they seemed, and he had to move. He moved a lot. I didn't know why he had to move, but even as a young boy I knew I wasn't going to let a half hour drive stop me from seeing my friend. School nights weren't going to happen, especially when he moved further away again into a bigger house. So we did sleepovers instead. We were getting into our preteen years and more weekends than not one of us would be at the other's house from Friday night until Sunday afternoon. We made sure to get our school work done early so that we wouldn't have to panic and waste our time together. And what glorious times they were. Swimming in his backyard pool, barbeques on my patio, and without fail we would spend the night sharing everything about ourselves with each other.

 

By the time I was eleven years old, I swore that I would tell him how I felt. By then I knew I was gay, and  I knew what it meant to be gay. I wanted to share that part of myself with him, even knowing that he would never, ever feel the same way. It might have had something to do with the drive to his birthday party, where he, myself and a mutual friend played 'grab crotch' for the whole trip. 

 

As luck would have it, fate intervened. The summer I was planning on telling him was the summer that the government finally caught up with his parents. The reasons for their constant moving became clear; it was to avoid legal and financial trouble, and the family was quickly deported back to Japan. On the way to the airport, he took the time to say a last goodbye. I gave him a hug in my bedroom and made him swear that he wouldn't forget me, that we'd write and phone and email (this was in the dial-up internet days), and do whatever it took to make sure that time zones wouldn't ruin our close, special friendship.

 

I never saw him again. 

 

The first couple years after were the hardest part. I'd often find myself staring off into the western horizon, wondering if he was still thinking about me. His emails became less frequent as time went on, and the phone calls never came. As he suffered family tragedy after another, I became an afterthought in his life and we just...we outgrew each other and moved on with our lives. 

 

By the dumbest stroke of luck I was able to find him again on Facebook, and we reconnected a few years ago. He's married now. Doesn't even live in Japan anymore. He's changed so much, and the shy, goofy kid I used to know doesn't seem to be there anymore. It shamed me to tell him over a message, but I did finally get to come out to my old friend, and while I was right to assume that he wouldn't feel for me what I felt for him back then, I was touched by the fact that his only concern was that I was happy with who I am and where I was in my life.

 

Things will never be the same; we're both too different to go back, and in truth most of the things that bound us together as children would be meaningless to us as adults. I know within my heart and soul that I will never see him again, and all that means to me is that he's making space in my heart for someone new. I'm going to miss him something fierce. And then one day I'm going to find that I don't miss him anymore, I don't think about him anymore, and that I don't wonder how he's doing anymore. That's a bittersweet day, but I know that the memories I have of him, and of us, will last longer than the sweet touch I never had to begin with. And I'll face that day with the person who I'm now blessed to stand beside, my best friend and my lover, and my testament to the power that friendship brings to love.

[William King]

5 hours ago, Hunter Thomson said:

That's a bittersweet day,

 I reacted WOW but was cut between LOVE and SAD. Love because you came through and made peace with the past to move forward, sad because It's happened to me being separated from childhood friends in a world controlled by adults that you don't fully understand.

[Former Member]

Not exactly my best friend.... someone I knew by his face and that he was one of the "cool kids"

in school. Yeah...it was...uhhh... foolish to me that I've had feelings for a boy. (Actually I thought I was turning into some dumb, evil being... from the pressure around.)

 

Well, the days ran by quickly, turning into weeks. I've made "friends" with him. Even though it was him using me... Didn't matter. I was close around him, and had ...ummm... Well they didn't look at me like another idiot.

(Actually they did... lol but I didn't know it then.)

 

So the school year passed...

During the summer I was again hanging around him. I didn't really know why though...it just felt right.

Again when it was him and I... everything was the way I imagined it to be once I get into his circles.

When someone else came into the picture... joining our little group...he was someone else... I've noticed that he wasn't the same when others were around...so I decided to cut myself free from the group and returned to being the lone Woolf I always was, but! The feelings never died, and... I was slowly but surely accepting the fact that I'm probably loving a boy. 

I never discussed it with myself... until the last (or the one before the last) school year.. 

Yeah... I've told him about it. 

 

It took me all that time spent together till then...to be spent with the horrible feelings of insecurity, fear, the pressure from all around... my kind... well it was already a national "minority" and to all that comes the fact that I was...ummm the gay boy. 

So yeah.. wasn't easy. When I finally told him in person.. then the pressure lifted, and I was ready for any reaction. Including getting put down.. then bullied even more because of it. Yeah... well guess what happened. 

Nope. I was extremely happy for the reaction. He said we'll give it a shot. 

 

Before I've told him that I had a huge crush on him, and the meanwhile I was struggling with the pressure...yes there were some girls, and a few other boys... Yeah I fell for some. Lol

But then in the end he was the real deal.

 

The story ends here. The whole story ends with his suicide(a lot of good times later)... but I won't detail that here.

 

Well uhh... that's all folks. 

 

As for your magazine...if you need help with setting up a few webpages... I'll try to help you out.

[William King]

There are some good times in there @Dennis191, but the suicide is sad. My own best friend from childhood died pulling a stupid stunt, I'd known him since we were seven, then at just shy of 21, he was gone. Nothing to do with being gay or having a crush on him, he just happened to be my best friend for a number of years. Sad.

[Hunter Thomson]

I can't imagine the pain of that kind of loss @Dennis191. I am truly sorry to hear that the ending was as tragic as it was.

[MrM]

1 hour ago, Dmrman said:

I remember A wise young friend ( Oh yea... it was you !!) reminding me of Billy Chase , and how love isn't dead, Understanding clearly what your saying......How about we seek, and look, and wait for our  Billy together, cause he is coming, for you and for me.. the real question... ARE we ready for him to show... Cause you know he'll rock our world, and we need to be ready for that.. Right?? mean while we can be friends till it happens????

 

I am indeed ready and waiting. Right on my bed with my sexy little tushe stuck in the air!  

 

Oops! 

 

My chestnut hair is graying but I still have my greenish/hazel eyes and my long legs are better than ever! Thanks to Snowflake and his inspriation that I needed to do his cross-country ski training as my fitness regimen. Hehehe!

[MrM]

B-b-b-b-b Bobby Jeanette?

 

 

[Page Scrawler]

I had a crush on my best friend in the 6th Grade. We shared the same first name, so everyone would call us by our last initial, to differentiate. We weren't the type to play soccer or video games together. We never wrestled on the floor of my bedroom or had sleepovers. I just knew that for some reason, I liked him...a lot. He had blonde hair that looked like a mop of fresh straw, bright blue eyes, and a few freckles on his nose. Later, he got a pair of braces, which made him look even cuter.   Although we never socialized much outside of school, I felt very close to him, as if I could tell him anything....well, almost anything.

Later, I attended a public middle school, and my former friend went to another school on the other side of town. I only saw him a few times after that. A couple of years ago, I heard through the grapevine that he was attending NMC, around the same time I did. I tried to find out what classes he was taking, or where I might run into him, but my efforts were in vain. I regret not telling him how I felt sooner, and I do wish things could have turned out differently, but there's no point trying to change the past. Wherever he is, I hope he's as happy as I am.

Edited February 16, 2020 by Page Scrawler

[Former Member]

13 hours ago, William King said:

There are some good times in there @Dennis191, but the suicide is sad. My own best friend from childhood died pulling a stupid stunt, I'd known him since we were seven, then at just shy of 21, he was gone. Nothing to do with being gay or having a crush on him, he just happened to be my best friend for a number of years. Sad.

 

11 hours ago, Hunter Thomson said:

I can't imagine the pain of that kind of loss @Dennis191. I am truly sorry to hear that the ending was as tragic as it was.

 

[Comicality]

 

AWESOME, you guys!!! Thanks!  

 

I've collected all the stories, and I'll do my best to cut them down for a single article! (I won't be changing a single word! Promise! Hehehe, just want to have everybody's story told in a single post.)

 

That said, I LOVE reading about you guys! Hehehe, we're not so different after all!!