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Running out of gay


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Much as when I was giving up smoking, I seem to be running out of gay. This doesn't mean I'm reincarnating as straight, I seem to be heading for limbo, maybe I've discovered an unexplored region in the constellation of sexuality: limbosexual.

I've had phases of asexual interest, though now it's different, I'm like a vegetarian who's indifferent about meat.

I've always suspected that to be gay you needed a gay receptor in the brain: the image of an erect penis finds its spot in the gay brain, and the connection is made.

Yet, my brain seems to be running out of gay spots. The few men in the street and the painfully erect ones in porno sites are curiously devoid of appendices. It feels like being kidnapped by a bevy of savages who then invite you to tea.

It reminds of when cigarettes stopped being my life savers. Am I escaping the harem at long last?

Edited by Nando
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People can be asexual and still gay. You can be a dude who likes dudes without wanting to have sex with them, and that makes you no less gay than any other gay person. We talk about sexual orientation, but that's only part of it; it's also romantic orientation. I don't think you have to be phallosexual to be gay. After all, many gay men are perfectly cool dating men without dicks.

Edited by Thorn Wilde
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12 hours ago, Nando said:

Much as when I was giving up smoking, I seem to be running out of gay. This doesn't mean I'm reincarnating as straight, I seem to be heading for limbo, maybe I've discovered an unexplored region in the constellation of sexuality: limbosexual.

I've had phases of asexual interest, though now it's different, I'm like a vegetarian who's indifferent about meat.

I've always suspected that to be gay you needed a gay receptor in the brain: the image of an erect penis finds its spot in the gay brain, and the connection is made.

Yet, my brain seems to be running out of gay spots. The few men in the street and the painfully erect ones in porno sites are curiously devoid of appendices. It feels like being kidnapped by a bevy of savages who then invite you to tea.

It reminds of when cigarettes stopped being my life savers. Am I escaping the harem at long last?

 

Trust me. If you're quitting smoking, your brain is recalibrating the hormone levels as it adjusts the loss of nicotine. Think of the chemicals in your brain as a weighing scale. By quitting smoking, you've tipped the balance of your brain chemicals by taking out nicotine as the source of a primary booster for dopamine--the mood elevator. So anything that you associate as pleasurable will be re-tuned and readjusted by your brain as it resupplies itself with a more natural source for 'happiness' that you'd once gotten from smoking.

When I quit smoking in 2016, the first month, I was drinking 3 to 5 litres of water a day as my body flushed the nicotine out of my system. 2 months later, it was hard for me to get boners...I'm speaking of forcing myself to jerk-off in order to get off for the sake of getting off paired with semi-hard erections. I was dating someone working in the field of medicine at the time, and he said it was normal for those suffering from any addiction to undergo physical and emotional changes. And yes, I even had a 2 to 3 week phase where watching videos about owners reuniting with their pets, wedding proposals, animal related videos, soldiers coming home always made me cry. It was so random...I think I even cried from watching a car commercial. And that lasted until the third month when it was the complete opposite. I was getting boners almost every single frigging time.

Supermarket--random boner at the produce aisle.

Picking my dry cleaning--random boner while waiting for my turn.

Walking to the mall while texting a friend--random boner that I had to readjust and I don't wear underwear so it was troublesome.

At a meeting--I'd cross my legs while discussing work.

Eating dinner outside--I'd cover my lap with a napkin.

And then a few months later, it subsided.

I'm not overgeneralising my experience with everyone's experience--but I did quit smoking as in 0 cigarettes from day one until now. It didn't quit in moderation, I stopped cold Turkey. I also had a bet with a friend that I wouldn't last for a month without cigarettes so...challenge accepted. 

Going back, I understand what you're going through. The highest likelihood is that whatever you're experiencing right now, I'd bet it has to do with your body adjusting its brain chemicals. You'll like dick again--pinky promise. It'll come back with a raging vengeance...bonerfied.

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That could also be a symptom of depression. (I say that as someone who has clinical depression and dysthymia.)

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