A Moving Email

[FreeThinker]

This evening, I received an email from a 78 year-old man in Australia who had read my story and wanted to compliment me on it. After all these decades, and a decade after the passing of his wife, he finally came out to his sons and grandsons. He wanted to tell me how much my story had meant to him.

 

I am just blown away. Here's a man who realized in 1939 that he was gay, AND COULD DO NOTHING ABOUT IT!

 

As everyone expected and demanded, he served in the war, married, had children and supported them, and took care of his beloved wife in their old age.

 

And, he couldn't tell anyone he was gay until he was 75.

 

For decades, gay men, US, WE, YOU AND I, relied on the furtive glance across a room, the fearful smile in an introduction, a nervous gesture in a public restroom. This was the life of a gay man for most of the Twentieth Century.

 

This email tonight reminded me of what I take for granted. Yes, Matthew Shepherd was beaten and left to freeze to death on a barbed-wire fence in Wyoming. Yes, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were harassed and ridiculed and beaten until they went over the edge. Yes, Freddie Phelps harrasses the parents of gay men at their sons' funerals.

 

But, life for gay people in the first years of the 21st Century is not what it was for our fathers and grandfathers and we must never forget that.

 

If you are a gay writer, remember this when you write.

[Frankenfurter]

Amen, FT. thanks for sharing this.

 

Frankenfurter

[rainbow]

Hey Freethinker,

 

I can understand your email writer form Australia I am also a Father to two kids, and also a Grandfather of two lovely Grandsons.

 

Like most of you of my age, I grow up in an environment where to be

gay was not something one readily admitted too. I have known that I

was gay form an early age. As some of us have who decide to try and

live a straight life, because of whatever reason we had, mine was

because of the fear of admitting I was gay to family and friends,

specially at the time I was young and also feared the harrasment and

fear of been beaten.

 

My wife and I got divorced, after fifteen years of marriage; no it

was not because she found out that I was gay. No one knew until now.

After the divorce, I found myself a single parent, as I had the care

and control of our kids. So I brought them up by myself for eight

years. For the most part it was a very happy period in my life

because I love my kids so much and in return they give me their love

 

It is just recently that I have come out to my kids. I went though

the gamma of emotions of depression and even contemplated suicide at

one point, if fact more than once. One night I got so drunk and

managed to get myself into bed and flop down on the bed. When I got

up eventually and I came down stairs I saw some of my medication

laying everywhere. Now whether I tried to take them on top of the

drink, I don't know. All I did know at the moment was I had been

very lucky not to have harmed myself. In fact it was because I had

found a Boy Friend that I decide to change my life a round. It was because

of him who knew what I was going though, it must have been hell for him, and

thank god he stay with me, because a leaser man would ran like hell.

 

Hi babe, you know who you are I love you, if you read this post, you see my babe is a author in this group also.

 

So Freethinker and you guys think how lucky you are to live in a period where you can be, for most part yourselves, you can't begin to image what it is like to be unable to express your feelings openly. The relief I felt when I came out to my kids is undescripible, it felt like a heavy burden had been lifted of my shoulders. So you authors, keep writting your stories, because I enjoy them so much. Thank you all for the enjoyment I receive form you all.

 

Although my kids took it quite calmly, that there father admitting

that he was gay, only time will tell whether they excepted it when

reality hits them more, I do hope that they will still stay with me.

 

Rainbow

[miguelsanchez55]

Dear FT,

I think you email must have been very moving. I've had a few teens join my support group and tell me that they read one of my stories and it gave them the courage to admit to themselves they were gay. I've also worked with several teens on coming out to a parent or a close friend.

 

As you know this is not an easy decision by any means. It takes courage and determination.

 

Thanks for sharing that wonderful story.

 

Take care,

Mike S. :sword:

[Pyro]

That is very moving. Thank you for shareing that with us.

 

Pyro :-)